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Sex Positions: He Wants Doggy Style And I’m Done With It!

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I love different sex positions and I loved “doggy style” when my boyfriend and I first got together, but now it’s my least favorite. My boyfriend still tries to initiate sex this way, but I really don’t enjoy it. How do I let him know our doggy days are over?

What She Said

Speak With Him Honestly

The sooner, the better! While there are compromises in relationships, doing something you really don’t enjoy physically isn’t necessary. For whatever reason, your body’s response to pleasure in doggy style sex positions has changed. Sex should be fun and spontaneous, but if you know something doesn’t work for you anymore it should be off the menu. He’ll surely understand, once you express that this position no longer feels good to you.

Take the sting out of delivering this news by adding a few new sex positions that you are interested in trying. It’s not the end of the world – in fact, it’s an invitation to a new one!

What He Said

You know what? It happens! Some people can eat ice cream all day, every day and never ever ever get bored. Some people eat it for a week and then get bored with it. You have gotten bored with doggy style as far as sex positions go. It’s time to find a new flavor.

Perhaps you’ve gotten bored with it because it’s physically uncomfortable or doesn’t hit your g-spot like it used to. That my friends, is what the liberator is for.

Go to their website, check out the different models and positions they can be used for (they have very “informative” video demonstrations with the super sexy sex educator Jaiya) and order one. That may be all you need to get things going again.

Then again, maybe the position isn’t for you. There are dozens of books on sex positions, like Kama Sutra, that offer new and exciting sex positions for the two of you to try. The options are as limitless as they are magically delicious.

Bring Sex Toys Into Play

Maybe you need to bring some sex toys into play instead of trying different sex positions. Again, do an Internet search for sex toys, find some you like and order them online or go to your local sex shop and buy some if you don’t want a paper trail (just remember to pay cash!) That will add some new toys to your sexual sandbox and that can occupy you for hours upon hours.

Of course, I don’t think any of this will really help as long as he’s the one doing the sexual initiation. You really can’t let him know his doggy style days are over. What you can do is offer him new and exciting positions and avoid the doggy style sex all together simply by beating him to the punch. You should be the one to initiate sex and lots of it. In the new positions you want to try. You’re bound to find one that he likes just as much if not more than doggy style. Then he will be constantly harassing you to do it that way instead of doggy style, but that however, is a whole other column. Enjoy and you’re welcome!

How Do I Get My Man To Role Play With Me?

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I love adult costumes, but Halloween is only once a year. Would it be weird to ask my boyfriend to extend our dress up beyond the holiday?

What She Said

Heck no, that’s not weird! In fact, I bet your boyfriend will be kissing your feet. A girl who wants to dress up in adult costumes? I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to know that he not only gets you as you are, but also has a sexy kitten, nurse, French maid, school girl, cheerleader and witch all coming to visit! If he, for whatever reason, expresses discomfort then there will be some compromises ahead – but my guess is that your revelation will be greeted with a big smile and a little (or a lot) of foreplay.

What He Said

Would it be weird to ask him if it’s okay to wear adult costumes? Well, all that depends on the costumes. If you want to dress up like Chester A. Arthur or The Queen of England and have a historically accurate 19th century tea party, then yes, yes it is in fact weird. Unless of course he has a fetish for Medieval English History Reenactments and then no, it’s not weird. Well, the asking him to dress up part. The rest is most certainly off, to put it nicely.

What Adult Costumes Are Appropriate For The Bedroom?

If however, you want to dress up as a naughty nurse, a naughty doctor, a naughty cheerleader (you can also substitute the word ‘naughty’ with ‘slutty,’ ‘whore-y’ or ‘nympho’) and you think that it is weird to ask him if you want to wear those costumes for him, I have to wonder what exactly is wrong with you.

Are you afraid he’s going to take the kids and leave the country because he can’t believe what a foul mouth deviant you are? Are you afraid it will ruin his chances for running for office? Are you finding your sexual desires incompatible with your religion (if it makes you feel any better, the people who are in charge of your religion have way more f’d up sexual fantasies than you do).

Why He’ll Love Your Adult Costumes

The point here is that there’s no way your man will have a problem with you wearing sexy adult costumes for you. If he does, then he’s gay and just not ready to come out of the closet. Seriously. He may have a slight problem wearing costumes for you because, well, men feel weird rocking the banana hammock (or speed to the lay person).

He may not feel secure or comfortable in his body because he doesn’t fit the Fabio body type, or maybe he’s never done this kind of thing before. Just work with him on it and let him know you are into him and that this will make you want to do him more. That should eradicate any resistance he has to the idea, if he has any to begin with. If all else fails, offer him anal sex. That always works.

I really think this is less about how to get your man to go along with role playing and more about getting you to feel comfortable about it. There’s nothing wrong with it. You can be in a happy long term relationship (or not), monogamous (or not), and good parents (or childless) and still be freaks and whores in the bedroom. In fact, I encourage it.

11 Things You Should NEVER Say To A Guy

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Women talk, a lot! I think we speak 5x as many words as guys and I guarantee that guys do not even hear or notice or process 1/4 of the words we say. That being said, since women do love to talk, there are some things you should never say to your man.

Here are the Top 11 Things You Should Never Say To A Guy

#1 Another Mans Name In Bed

Unless that name is God or Jesus, do not speak of any other men. Never good. And it’s worse if you say the name of an
ex.

Now, there may be a time when you slip up and do accidentally say another guys name, if this happens try your best to cover it up. Hopefully, the names rhyme. IN other words, lets pretend you say the name “Sean” and just happen to be sleeping with a guy named “John”. That can easily be fixed by swearing you said the right name. If you think getting the right name will be a problem then just stick to moaning and saying “yes”.

#2 “Your Best Friend/Brother/Waiter Is Hotter Than You”

Guys do not take this as personally as women do. But it is still a blow to his ego even if you are joking. There is no reason to make him feel bad about himself. Even if it is true. If you happen to mention another guy looks hot, do not admit that they are hotter than your own man. Make sure your guy knows you love him and all his body parts.

#3 My Cat Is My Best Friend

In fact go ahead and leave out any mention of a cat, or stuffed animal. You might think it is adorable, he on the other hand does not. Also do your best to hide any said animals. If you are super attached to a pet or stuffed animal and he seems ok with it, great.

That being said do not talk “baby talk” to your pet or toy when your man is in the room. Also, do not dress your pet up in outfits nor call your pet a stupid name aka anything with Mr. or Miss.

#4 “I’ve Had Better/Seen Bigger”

There is a really good chance you have had better sex and seen a bigger dick but there is nothing he can do about
that plus it makes you sound like a whore. If you enjoy sex with your man then great, there is no need to mention past penises or lays. And when you get mad at your guy never use his sack skills as fighting material. Leave him with some pride.

#5 “In College I Slept With The Football Team”

Ok maybe it wasn’t the whole team but if your number of sex partners is twice your age, it’s best to fib a little bit here. Nothing wrong with dropping a good 10-20 off your number. Not saying you shouldn’t be proud, but keep it to yourself. WE live
in a society that has gross double standards but it is true, women that have a lot of partners are seen as sluts and guys are seen as studs. I think it has something to do with the fact that women can always get laid and guys have to work at it.

#6 “My Ex Did This Thing In Bed…”

Never ever bring up your ex especially if it had something to do with his mad sex skills.

The thing is, you are with a new guy now and there is no reason to destroy his confidence by bringing up other dudes. Now if there is a cetain move you wish your guy would do to you then just lie and say you read it in a magazine. Even though that “magazine” was the past sexual romps you had before your guy.

#7 “You Are Such An Idiot…”

Whether you just started dating or have been dating for a while never call your guy names or talk down to him. This sort of thing is super emasculating and no guy deserves to be put down by the girl he likes. Never attack him personally or upset his pride no matter how mad he makes you.

#8 “We Need To Talk”

This sentence never ever ends well so unless you are deciding to break up, don’t ever say this! If you are deciding to break up, then by all means say this. And feel free to say the other 7 things written above. BUT, only if it is truly over!

#9 I Am Looking For A Relationship That Leads Mo marriage

This will make you seem like a chick who’s just decided it’s time to get married and make babies and all you need is some poor bastard to plug into your fairy tale formula. Never ever say this to a guy.

#10 “I Like Successful Men”

Or “I only date successful men”. This means “I am a gold digger.”

You might as well put an ATM by your bed, as far as a guy is concerned. You should never say this to a guy, because it’s like “Hey! I’m a feminist and all, but what I really want is a guy to spend shit loads of money on me” Never say this to a dude. Ever. He will run, if he’s smart. If he doesn’t, then know he’s aware that you are shallow and superficial and that he probably is too. So don’t you dare chunk up on him, or your gravy train will be over.

#11 “I Used To Do (Insert Sex Act Here) But I Don’t Anymore”

That will piss your man off. He’ll be like “why did you do that with him (or her or them) and not with me?

What He REALLY Thinks About During Sex With You

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Is there any woman who doesn’t want to know what goes on inside the male mind? If you’re like most (okay probably all) women, you’ve thought about what your man is thinking about during sex. You’ve probably been especially curious to think about what he thinks about during sex with you.

Here’s What She Said About “What He Thinks About During Sex”

Baseball, Star Trek, His fantasy football league, What he had for dinner, Math equations, How to change a tire, WWII. And anything else that is 
the complete opposite of what is happening to his body right now! When guys have sex they will think of anything to make sure they do not come
 to quickly.

Now with that being said, after a while and after he has some experience he may be able to think sexier thoughts. Those thoughts might 
include, your hot sister, your hot roommate, your hot co worker. His hot coworker, his high school teacher, the girl who makes his coffee, the girl that 
gave him his first hand job, a girl he saw walking on the street….get the picture?

Guys are super horny and their thoughts can go everywhere during sex.

 Also guys think a lot about boobs and your naked body! But do not feel shy about this! They are thinking about how to unhook your bra so they can get
to your boobs and when you are going to get on top so they can see your boobs in action. And what they can do with their hands to get them on your 
boobs.

Other thoughts that enter a guy’s mind are: “I should have done more sit ups”. Just like women, guys worry about their bodies and wish they would have 
gone to the gym or done some more push ups/sit ups before they got all naked with you.

During sex, guys also think:”Is she coming? She’s moaning so that’s a good sign”.”Please condom do not break”, “Damn she is hot, how did i get so 
lucky”, “I hope my deodorant is working”, “I shouldnt have had that last beer”, “Where should I come?”

When guys are having sex they also think about how long its taking and if its been too long or too short. 

As you can see, men are just as worried and insecure as women when it comes to sex. They want to please you like you want to please them. And their thoughts
can go everywhere.

As women, you should not feel the need to worry about what is going on in his head though especially if you are concerned with what 
you look like or if you are doing something right. When it comes to sex, it is a hell of a lot more fun when both parties just enjoy each other and have
fun!

Here’s What He Said About “What He Thinks About During Sex”

He’s probably focusing on doing a good job. Men want to get you off more than you want to get off, so that’s probably crossing his mind a lot during sex with you.

He’s also probably going through his sexual checklist during sex with you as well. If you’re a guy, and you give too much attention to her left boob and less to the right boob, she will get weird about it (Yes, we know you keep track of this stuff.) So we try to make a point to make sure we give everything equal attention, even if we don’t like doing it, or we’re dying to just fuck you already.

He’s thinking about being inside you while he’s inside with you. He’s trying to read your reactions: moans, groans, words (if you can get them out). He’s also trying to focus on fucking as opposed to cumming during sex with you. He is easier to get off than you are, in general, so he’s probably trying to be in the moment while not actually being too in the moment.

He may be wishing he did more cardio or worked out harder during sex. Great cardio or great workout equals great stamina during sex. So he may or may not have it, and suddenly, not working out today doesn’t seem like such a bright idea.

He’s definitely thinking about how much he likes fucking you while he’s fucking you. Your boobs, your pussy, your ass, he loves all of these things. You’d probably be surprised at the deeper level of affection he has for these things. He loves the way your pussy tastes. He could stare at your ass for hours, and plunging deep inside you is the tastiest treat he can fathom. He’s thinking about all of this while inside of you

The Top 10 Worst Pick Up Lines

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It blows my mind that pick up lines still exist!

I can’t imagine that they work unless the chick was either A) Super drunk, B) Super drunk or C). Super drunk. Assumptions aside, they must be working for some guys because I still hear them from time to time, here is a list of the worst pick up lines that we’ve heard:

The Top 10 Worst Pick Up Lines (She Said)

1) “Do you like meat” Girl answers yes. “Wanna bone?”

OK, what? I can’t even write a rebuttal, this is disgusting! Ok sort of funny too.

2) Can I wear your thighs like earrings?

Although its nice finding a guy super excited about oral sex, this line is just a gross visual. And can not be safe for your thighs.

3) “I hear your ankles are having a party! You want to invite your pants down”?

Super funny, super lame. Although if a cute guy delivered this line to me in a comedic fashion, it might work at least for a chat. But my pants will not be going down to my ankles.

4). “Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven”.

This has to be one of the most cliche and over used lines, it never works. Where do you go from there? You can’t have a serious conversation with a guy who thinks you are an angel from heaven.

5). “Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants tonight”.

OK, this gets one point for being creative but honestly, when I heard this one all the guy got was a spit take of my beer all over his shirt it made me laugh so hard.

6) “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night”.

This line is so over used! I am pretty sure it was started in WWI times! Yes it’s cheesy but it is so unoriginal. Pathetic. Besides, women don’t run they Pilate.

7) “That shirt is very becoming on you. then again, if I was all over you I would be coming too”.

Yes there is nothing a woman wants more than to be covered in a guy’s sperm! NOT!! This line actually works only when a girl uses it on a guy! That’s gold then!

8) “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again”.

This is so terrible because it is so ‘douchie’!! Who says that? Gross. Men should never ever be so cocky when approaching a woman.

But, fear not men! There are good pick up lines out there. And these lines work on women sober or drunk.

The best line is, drum roll…… “Hi, my name is…………., Whats yours?”

BOOM!!! You don’t need lines to meet women! Seriously, women are pretty smart and if they are interested in you all they need is to know your name. NO line is going to magically make her fall for you.

The Top 10 Worst Pick Up Lines (He Said)

Here’s the only thing to know: the “worst pick up line” is the one that doesn’t work.

I have seen the dumbest pick up lines imaginable work like gang busters. I had a Hispanic fraternity brother whose sole pick up line was “Do you have any Mexican in you?” They’d say “no.” He’d say “do you want some?” And then he’d take her back to have sex. It didn’t hurt that he was an amateur boxing champion with a chiseled body and gigantic genitalia. Actually that’s why it worked. Any one of those shirtless vampires or Magic Mike actors can say incredibly stupid shit to your woman and they will probably go home with him. That’s just how it is.

That being said, if you don’t have a huge dick and you’re not rich and you’re not in really good shape or good-looking, you’ll probably find that most pickup lines don’t work as well for you, and you will probably find yourself having used at least one of the worst pick up lines ever.

My favorite contender for worst pick up line ever, comes from the greatest movie of all time “The Ladies Man” starring Tim Meadows.

If you can’t quote that movie verbatim, there is a 98% chance you are a terrorist.

9) He walked up to a woman and said “Hey, baby! Are you a bad load of laundry? Cause you just made my pants too sizes too small.”

10) Another one of the Ladies Man’s pick up lines and a legit contender for worst pick up line ever is: “Hey baby! Can I buy you a fish sandwich?” –Best movie ever.