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Anal Fisting – To Try Or Not To Try

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Anal fisting is definitely an extreme form of anal sex, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Before you try anal fisting, read this first!

What Is Anal Fisting?

During anal fisting, your entire hand is placed in your partner’s rectum. I know, it sounds scary and impossible. With the right instructions though, lots of care and well mastered skills this practice can become a highly erotic and pleasurable part of your anal routine. As Gayle Rubin notes in reference to anal fisting, “it is an art that involves seducing one of the jumpiest and tightest muscles in the body.”

The first thing you need to know is that anal fisting does NOT mean that you clench your fist and try to squeeze it by all means possible inside your partner’s rectum. Instead, all five fingers are held stretched and really really closed together and only then the insertion can begin.

Also, a latex glove and lube are vital. Apply large quantities of water based lubricants on both her anus and your hand, without worrying about the mess. Oil and fat-based lubes are a no-go, since they can literally cut up holes into the latex glove, easing the transfer of bacteria. Moreover, they are bad for mucous membranes such as the one inside the anus and rectum.

The most important thing however is to start really slow, take your time and advance only when she agrees to. It should not hurt her and she should be in charge, although you’re the one handling her literally. Let her set the pace and tell her to say when she wants you to stay still, come forward, back off or back out completely. Whatever indication she gives you, follow it accordingly.

Before you start, read this set of instructions carefully, even learn it by heart, if necessary.

How To Get Started

  1. Find a comfortable spot for your partner. She should be able to have enough room to stretch as much as she needs and wants.
  2. Now that she’s relaxed and comfortable, it’s time for you to get her turned on. If you want her anus to open up, she needs to be as aroused as ever. Use your best techniques for this one, her favorite sex toy, her most desired cunnilingus session, whatever you know really works in her case.
  3. Coat your entire hand with water based lubricant, after you’ve put the latex glove on. Go very, very slowly. One finger, then two, then three, etc. Now that we’re on the topic of fingers, your fingernails should be short and smooth, even if you’re wearing a glove.
  4. Try and minimize the space that your hand takes as much as you can. Tuck your thumb and group the rest of the fingers close to one another.
  5. The most difficult part is to move past the knuckles so push gently and slowly. Slowly rotate your hand to gain more space and open her up bit by bit. While you’re doing this, talk to her, let her know that everything is ok and that she is doing great. A few words of comfort and encouragement will relax her.
  6. Once you’re all in, don’t move. Give her a few moments to get used to the pressure. After she gives you the green light, you can start moving your hand as you please: up and down, left and right, in circles, etc.
  7. When she’s ready to let you go, the removal procedure should be just as careful and slowly maneuvered. Even though she’s more aroused and enlarged now, that doesn’t mean you should just stick it out like nothing happened. You can cause her pain and serious injuries.

Health Concerns

Although it is generally thought of as carrying small risk as far the spread of sexually transmitted diseases is concerned, there are other more serious health risks that you should know about before engaging in it.

If you don’t follow the rules, if you don’t do it properly or don’t listen to her warning signs, you can cause her very serious injuries, like ruptured bowels, internal tears and lacerations, infections (either of the anus or the urinary tract), inflammations of the pelvis, bruising of the cervix, and even sterility. And be aware that overstretching her anal sphincters may cause them to lose some of their tone, which can lead to bowel and gas control problems.

8 Naughty Anal Fingering Techniques

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Anal fingering can be a great way to bridge the gap between regular sex and anal sex. Check out these eight hot techniques to get started!

8 HOT Anal Fingering Techniques

1. See-Saw

This is a simple move that will get her nice and warmed up, especially if you apply a bit of oil or lubricant to your hands. Put your hands together flat, palms touching, and place the outer edge between her cheeks, over her anus and perineum.

With an up-and-down sawing motion, rub this very sensitive spot to stimulate and relax the muscles.

2. Teeter Totter

Using the same exact position as above, wiggle your hands back and forth at the wrist as you slide up and down this area. Add extra lube to make her nice and slick, and to prepare for entering the rear passage.

3. Passing The Time

To stave off any boredom while working up to all the fun parts of anal play, the experts who wrote “Red Hot Touch,” Jaiya and Jon Hanauer, suggest twiddling your thumbs! Using the knuckles of each hand to spread her cheeks apart a bit, slowly circle your thumbs around each other so that the pads touch the anus as they pass. Use lots of lube and increase your speed if she responds well.

4. Making An Entrance

When your wife’s level of arousal tells you that she is ready for more, you’re going to take a hint from the earlier technique of waiting to be allowed in, this time with just a bit of pressure. Using a well-lubricated index or middle finger, put slow, gentle, pressure on her anus; don’t push, just apply steady pressure and allow her  to suck you in past the first sphincter. Rest here and let her adjust to this new and different sensation.

Tell her to breathe deeply, to relax and to focus on contracting and releasing the pelvic muscles, in particular those in her anus.

5. The Waiting Room

With your finger between the two anal sphincters, you have the perfect opportunity to stop and let your wife get comfortable, adjusting to the feeling of having you inside her in this way. If she finds it too strange, you can exit and go again with a bit more lube until she starts to get used to it.

When she’s ready to accept you further, you can put the same gentle pressure on her second sphincter, just an inch or two away from the first. Here again, you need to be accepted in, and it may be more difficult to coax the inner doorway, since it is not consciously controlled. She can’t just relax on command here.

Just remain still, applying pressure, and wait. If she doesn’t open up for you, take the hint. Move on to something new and come back again another day.

6. Check The Clock

The clock face is a great way to envision just about any erogenous zone when it comes time to explore its idiosyncrasies. In the same way that you can explore the vulva and the clitoris, as described earlier in this chapter and the last, beyond the second anal sphincter lies a space which you can explore in this same roundabout way.

Press along the outer edge of the rectum with your finger, stopping to make small circles at each hour. Try communicating with her what you’re doing and asking for her feedback. If she remembers too, it will help you to memorize which spots are her favorite.

7. Hit The Spot

I’ve explained how a woman’s genitals and reproductive organs are all intricately linked, so it may not surprise you to know that you can hit her G-Spot from inside her rectum… but it will probably surprise her!

At about three inches into her rear canal, you can crook your finger toward her vagina for easy access to her G-Spot and with a “come hither” motion might just be able to give her a G-Spot orgasm! If you can pull this off with some exterior urethral stimulation, perhaps using your tongue, you might just be able to see her squirt!

8. The Five-Finger Surprise

If hitting her G-Spot from one cavity isn’t quite impressive enough, why not try for two? This move, in fact, takes two hands to stimulate her entire genital pleasure system from top to bottom, front to back!

With one hand in the position above, stimulating her G-Spot from her anus, crook the thumb from the same hand into her vagina, pressing against the rear wall and perineum. You can begin to make come-hither motions with your finger immediately, or wait until your other hand is in position.

Insert the index and middle fingers of your other hand into the vagina and stimulate the G-Spot and A-Spot. Using the same technique as in the Three-way move, place the pad of your thumb on her clitoris, and rock this second hand back and forth, thereby stimulating her entire labia.

If you have trouble making these slightly different motions at the same time, focus on one hand then the other, seeing how she responds. Find a rhythm that works, and use it to take her all the way to orgasm!

7 Things You Have Been Doing Wrong During Anal Sex All This Time

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Anal sex is something many couples try, but are they really getting it right? Maybe not. Are you making these seven anal sex mistakes?

For generations, anal sex has been considered a no-go by women out there. But although this “national epidemic” is widely reported, the reason that the situation is such escapes most men.

The fact is that women, as much as men, are telling researchers more and more often that they would like to experience anal sex. So what’s the deal, where does this contradiction come from? The answer is simple: in the vast majority of cases, it’s the men that the women are complaining about; men don’t know how to do it properly, so that their respective wives and girlfriends really experience the pleasure.

The secret is to persistently commit to fix the problem. If they don’t, the doors to the women’s derrieres will irreversibly slam shut in front of them.

1. You Don’t Think You Need To Learn Anything

When it comes to anal sex, you don’t just rely on your instincts, on what nature taught you unknowingly. You need to come prepared, with your lessons learned, if you want it to be an awesome experience for both of you, the first time and many times that will follow. Anal is not just sticking your penis inside her bootie and shaking it all around. You should be aware of her anatomy, how her body works, what you can do to stimulate her at the right time, etc. If you don’t enter the situation sufficiently informed, you are not going to rock her world, but convince her that “no” was the right answer after all.

2. Your Manual Is Porn

Another thing that confuses you and stops you from performing at your full potential is the misinterpretation given by the porn industry. Anal sex is not as easy to master and straightforward as you see it in your XXX collection. Those movies never show you that you need a lot of time to warm her up properly, the guy never uses lube and he’s hard hitting right from the start, while the girl screams with pleasure.

Professional porn stars are either stretched out or they are using a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain. Another possibility: they start filming after having injected tons of lube inside her bootie and after she’s been aroused to some extent, so that the act seems real and doable. Don’t believe those that are trying to convince you that it’s not a big deal, because, in fact, it is.

3. You Don’t Talk To Her Beforehand

Women are scared. Yes. They get cold sweats and shivers when they think about it and the only thing that would mend this is just a few words of encouragement from your part. Not the “you’ll see, you’ll like it” whispered by surprise, when you’re in bed, not that one. That doesn’t count as the talk. Approach the subject in a non-sexual environment, and make sure you give her all the support, promise of protection and patience she needs.

Take your time and assure her that it will be ok, it will feel good and it won’t hurt. Talk it over. Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Communication is a big deal for women; you ought to know that by now.

4. You Don’t Stimulate Her Enough

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her derriere. When she’s really heated up, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Otherwise, instead of giving you the moans and groans and “keep doing it” look, she’ll just respond with a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with lube, get her relaxed with kisses and caresses, maybe a good dose of cunnilingus.

It’s also important to create a non-intimidating, sexy atmosphere. Lower the lights, put some good music, massage her, everything you know she needs in order to loosen up both physically and mentally. Anal sex is not suited for a quickie. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you have — use it to your advantage.

5. Once You’re There, You Lose Your Focus

Once the hardest part is over and you find yourself inside her, you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make, since being too rough can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would into her vagina. Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel.

If she tells you to stop, then stop. If she tells you to get out, then get out. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

6. You Don’t Let Her Set The Pace

A big part of the fear that women feel when it comes to anal sex is that they are helpless in this game of power play. If you want her to agree to it and also love the experience, let the action happen on her own grounds. Let her hold your penis and guide it slowly inside of her anus. Even if it takes her half an hour to insert an inch, let her do it. If you surprise her with a sudden movement, the thought of having lost the control will make her even more scared. Just talk to her while she’s doing the job, seduce her mind and she’ll really let loose.

7. You Neglect Her Other Lady Parts

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better. If you keep her mind busy with an awesome clitoral orgasm, she won’t mind the back action that much. For example, while you’re fingering her anus, kiss her really deep on the mouth, so that she feels you’re still connected.

What To Do & Say After Anal Sex

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Anal sex is an incredibly intimate activity. If you’ve just done it with your lover, here are some things you want to do and say to follow up the act.

Things You WANT To Do Afterwards

Hug her from behind, in the spooning position, and gently kiss her neck. You don’t need to talk, I know you’re probably not the most talkative guy after sex, but you can send her a love message by just touching her skin gently, blowing the sweat off her shoulder or simply caressing her belly and breasts.

If it was your first time trying anal sex, she might be in quite a vulnerable position, because she’s not sure whether it was good or not, or if you’re satisfied with how things turned out. So if there’s something she did that drove you insane in a good way, now’s the best time to tell her.

After climaxing all your senses are heightened, so if you want to feel really good, light a scented candle that gives off a comforting aroma (for example vanilla or jasmine), and have the remote control to your stereo close buy so that you can press play at the right time.

She might want to take a shower afterwards, with all the lubricant flowing around all over her body. In order to show your care, join her and do the washing yourself. Gently shampoo her hair and her intimate areas, especially the back parts, which were most worked up. She’ll feel safe and she’ll know that you appreciate what she did and don’t think bad of her.

What NOT To Do After Anal Sex

Complain about anything, especially about the intercourse you just had. Especially since it’s anal sex we are talking about. Even though you didn’t like it that much, if you want her to give it a try again, a little white lie wouldn’t hurt.

Jump out of bed to hit the shower/grab a snack/smoke a cigarette/watch the remaining of the football game. She’ll feel like you might have thought about these activities while in bed with her, which means that you weren’t connected.

Evaluate her performance or compare her with other partners you’ve had. That’s just plain rude and inconsiderate.

What To Say Afterwards

“That was incredibly awesome.” You want to know a secret? Women are worried about how they performed just as much as you. Just like you need reassurance that you did good in the sack, she needs to know if she killed it, or ruined it.

“You’ve got such a sexy body!” Even though she’s sweaty and red faced and tired, and maybe with a little mascara running in the corner of an eye, you need to praise the way she looks after sex. Women are incredibly impressionable and scared about the massive exposure they submitted their bodies to. Lean over to plant a smooch on her stomach and tell her how sexy it is. That’s the part of the body women crave most to receive compliments about.

“How are you feeling? Is everything ok?” This shows her that you care for her and your main concern is her state. She’ll feel more connected to you after she realizes that you put her needs first.

“Turn around for a second, otherwise I’ll want you for another round.” A sweet sexy joke like this will relieve all the tension and she’ll be her normal self again. Sometimes, right after sex, women tend to feel a little isolated, far away. Your cute line will bring her right back in your arms. Literally and metaphorically.

What Is An Anal Orgasm & How To Give One

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Anal sex can be extremely pleasurable, but you have to know what you’re doing. Here’s how to give an orgasm through anal penetration alone.

You might think that an orgasm is an orgasm, no matter which hole was being penetrated, but let me tell you that is not the case.

What Is An “Anal Orgasm?”

The anal orgasm is, as you’ve already figured out, an orgasm brought on by anal stimulation, such as from an inserted finger, penis, or sex toy. All women are able to achieve it, but only a few have the luck to actually experience it. The sexual climax can be either complete or incomplete, depending on your ability to touch, and thrust her at the right moment. Some lucky ones may come to experience an anal orgasm without even stimulating the anus, but by stimulation of the buttocks and anal cleft with the tongue.

How it actually happens: typically, through stimulation of the G spot, through the wall shared between the vagina and the rectum. Yes, it’s an indirect stimulation, but perhaps that’s why so many women (and men!) praise its intensity. As a matter in fact, anecdotal evidence suggests that some women experience anal orgasm as qualitatively different from clitoral or vaginal orgasm.

So yes, anal orgasm is not just a ‘convenient’ theory promulgated by men who want to get their respective girlfriends to try it. It’s real, it’s happening and it can be taught.

There are probably three different sources of sexual stimulation produced by anal intercourse: sensation from the anus, the rectum, and the G spot. Each of these tissues send sensory signals to the brain through different pairs of nerves- the anus through the pudendal nerves, the rectum through the pelvic nerves, and the G spot through the hypogastric nerves.

The orgasm thus achieved is described ‘deeper’, more global and intense, longer lasting and associated with greater feelings of ecstasy.

How To Give An Orgasm During Anal Sex

  1. Start with a firm/soft massage of her buttocks. Use contradictory moves- to enhance pleasure- light vs. firm, teasing vs. real pinching, etc.
  2. After separating the buttocks a little bit, start massaging the area near the anus, but this time use gentler moves
  3. With a well lubed finger start by circling the anal opening with light moves.
  4. Try the analingus technique called Rose Petals, in which you move your tongue in tiny circular loops, as if you are tracing the sepals (the small green leaves at the bottom) of a rose, and then move your tongue in a circle around the rim of the anus (this is known as rimming).
  5. 5. Once you insert a whole finger or a penis and you reach the rectum, another set of pleasures are involved. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure. Rectal pressure is particularly important to enthusiasts of fisting, a form of anal sex in which several fingers or even the entire hand are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower colon.
  6. 6. When you feel she’s ready to come, if you want to facilitate its appearance, additional manual stimulation of the clitoris is advisable.
  7. Also, for women who love a full feeling, try simultaneous penetration of the anus and the vagina, pairing it with clitoral stimulation, as mentioned above.
  8. The intensity of the anal orgasm can be achieved by psychological aspects as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common myth against anal sex (it’s dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of kinky excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the feeling that they are being delightfully perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.
  9. The easiest way to NOT have an anal orgasm is to become determined to have one. Seeking it will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure.
  10. Diet also contributes to the feeling of anal pleasure. Regular bowel movements and a sufficient amount of fiber in the system prevents irritation of the bowel tissues, which causes discomfort and adds up to muscular tension.