Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies

How To Get Her To Love Rough Sex

By

Rough sex can be one of the most intense sexual experiences for any couple. This type of sexual play is not only a stress reducer, it can bring your closer to your partner. It must be mentioned that rough sex doesn’t have to be about whips and chains, although it can be, it is mainly about the emotional side of domination and fantasy. There is a barrage of ways that you can pleasure your partner through rough sex.

But what if your girl doesn’t like this type of activity in the bedroom? Here are a few ways that you can get her to love rough sex while building intimacy at the same time.

Talk To Her About Your Sexual Desires

The first thing that you need to do about the fact that you want rough sex is to tell your girlfriend or wife how you feel. Communication is the key to every relationship and every sex life. She’s not going to know that it’s something you like or want unless you tell her.

So many guys assume that women can tell what they want and what they are thinking, but women are not mind readers. They only know as much about you as you do about them if neither of you are asking the right questions.

So, how do you bring this up? It’s very simple. Say that you would like your sex life to be more passionate. This type of sex is more about passion than violence and every girl craves that type of connection with their partner.

Use Foreplay To Your Advantage

Guys are known to take the foreplay from 0-60, but women are not like this. If you want your girlfriend or wife to love rough sex then you need to get her in the mood. As stated before, this type of sex is all about passion and nothing is going to make her more passionate than foreplay.

Teasing and kissing are the best ways to increase the amount of intimacy and passion during sex so you need to use them to your advantage. Make sure that you are not groping her for 5 seconds and then trying to stick it in. If she tries to advance past foreplay, make her wait. This is going to drive her crazy and increase the passion on her side.

Start Slow With Rough Sex Play

Like we said before, this type of sex doesn’t have to be about whips and chains, but it can be. The last thing that you want to do is tie her up before you even pull her hair. By starting out slow you don’t run the risk of scaring her off.

Women want to feel comfortable with their partner and when you take them out of their comfort zone too fast you will leave a lasting impression. This can even put a damper on the entire relationship, setting you back further than before. It is important to start out slow and work your way up rougher sex through biting, hair pulling, and scratching when your partner feels comfortable.

Be In The Moment

They call it living in the moment for a reason. It puts you and your partner in a vulnerable state. If you reach this state too fast it’s not going to be fun for either of you. However, once you have built your way up, she’s going to feel comfortable enough to let her devious side show.

Don’t let fear of rejection hold either of you back. It is a good idea to lay some ground rules before hand so you don’t cross the line, but you should never be afraid to let your kinky side show during sex. Most couples find that after they have thrown caution to the wind, they are happier in the relationship and are more communicative with other.

By increasing the passion and being in the moment during sex you can invigorate other aspects of the relationship naturally.

Let Her Take Control

It’s not all about you. If you really want your girlfriend or wife to love rough sex, let her have control over the situation. All women have sexual fantasies. Whether she’s submissive or dominant in the bedroom, giving her reins can lead to a more positive outcome. So many guys make the mistake of trying to take control in the bedroom when their partners might have a fantasy of taking control themselves.

Let her live out her fantasies and she will become even more open to expanding your sexual repertoire.

4 Kinky Rough Sex Ideas

By

Rough sex can turn a boring bedroom experience into something that both you and your partner look forward to. Rough sex is kinky and fun, but safety has to be taken into consideration before anything can be implemented.

A relationship is about love, but your sex life should be full of lust. If you would like to use some kinky rough sex in your sex life, there are a few ways that you can implement it without spending your mortgage at an adult store.

1. Role-Play

Role-play is fun, kinky and it doesn’t have to cost you a dime. Everybody has a scenario in their head about role-playing that gets them going. Whether you have a fantasy about being dominated by a teacher or being the dominator in the relationship, role-playing can bring out the inner wild with any couple. Talk to your partner about implementing role-playing into your sex life.

In order for this to work, she has to be on-board. If she does not play her role the both of you could spend the night in laughter instead of having sex. Ask her what kind of role-playing she would be into. Every woman has a fantasy that they want to play out so be confident that she will not think you are strange for bringing this up.

2. Domination

Domination is another rough sex idea that you can bring into your sex life. Dominating your girlfriend or having her dominate you is a great way to keep the sex interesting. Pulling her hair can show that you’re in control of the sex. Again, she has to be comfortable with this situation in order for it to work.

Talk to her about how far she wants you to go or how far you are comfortable with her going. There is always a breaking point, but she might surprise you with how far she is willing to go with the situation. Most guys are not afraid to let their girlfriends dominate them to the fullest, but you should also express concerns of what you’re comfortable with her doing to you.

3. Spanking

Spanking is another rough sex idea that you can use. Spanking is usually done in doggy style or with the girl on top. Some girls are really into this, but others are not. Make sure that your girlfriend knows that you’re going to spank her before you do it.

Do not spank her so hard that you leave a hand print on her cheek. If she wants it harder she will tell you. You can also use a whip if she’s into it. This takes the experience to a whole different level while still keeping the eroticism present.

4. Bondage

One of the best kinky rough sex ideas out there is to have her tie you up or to tie her up. When you are tied up you give away control of the situation. You give her the ability to use you as her own sex toy. This can be very hot for any guy. If you are going to tie her up, there are a few things that you should know. First, teasing her is the best way to get her off when she’s tied up. Use a vibrator to tease her or run a piece of soft fabric down her body.

This will bring her to edge and make her beg for you to go further. Secondly, don’t give her what she wants until you are ready to. When you tie her up you are in control. You are the dominant one in the situation so you call the shots. If she wants you to do something, tease her for a couple of minutes before you give in. Make minutes seem like hours and she will never forget it.

How To Be A Naughty Girl

By

Sex – no matter how vanilla – is something every guy adores. Even if it’s missionary position with the lights off – he’ll take that over no sex any day. But you can really wow your man by making it more kinky and showing him that you have a naughty side. Here’s how to let the vixen in you out.

Use A Mirror During Sex – And Fellatio

Guys love to watch. That’s a given, considering just how much porn there is circulating around the adult DVD stores and the Internet. Get him to focus on you though by introducing a mirror during sex. Put one on your bedroom wall right next to the bed and better yet, put one on the opposite side so he can get a view of both angles. If you can’t get full size mirrors, settle for a makeup mirror on a table or night stand that will give him a great view of you giving him a blowjob.

Masturbate For Him

Again, this is playing into the fact that men really do get off on visual stimuli. Instead of getting angry with him for watching porn instead of being interested in you, give him a reason watch you. Shake off your insecurities about how you look (he loves the way you look naked, even though you’re not perfect) and give him the show of his life by masturbating in front of him. Close your eyes or blindfold yourself and turn on some music so that you have no idea that he’s there. Then just go at it! You will be amazed at just how much watching you do yourself the way you like it will turn him on.

Do It Somewhere Else

Instead of having sex in the bedroom again, show him your wild side by suggesting sex somewhere else. Whether it’s on the couch, in the backyard or in the VIP section of an exclusive nightclub, just the change of venue will do wonders for how amazing the sex is. When you move outside the bedroom and let the vixen inside you out, expect amazing orgasms for both you and your partner!

Walk Around The House Naked

Most women aren’t confident about their naked bodies and most men hate that about their partners. Your man loves the way you look naked – if he didn’t, he’d probably wouldn’t be with you. So let your insecurities and inhibitions go and start walking around the house naked. Start small, like not putting on a towel after a shower while you head to the bedroom to get dressed. Perhaps you can hang out naked for a bit after having sex, and after you get used to the idea, you can walk around the house naked whenever you like. Your man won’t be able to keep his eyes off you!

Do The Reverse Cowgirl

The reverse cowgirl is one of the sex positions that most guys like the best. Why is this? Because it gives them a full view of your vagina and your anus, and he gets to see every thrust in eye-popping detail. Many women don’t like to do this however, because they get uncomfortable thinking about their partners looking at their vagina and anus for so long. Don’t worry about it – your guy isn’t going to be noticing that your inner labia are longer than your outer or that you have a little stubble from not having shaved in a couple days. He’s just going to enjoy watching his penis slide in and out of you over and over!

Leave Your Panties On

During foreplay, leave your panties on. Let him rub your clitoris through your panties – bonus points if you get wet enough for him to actually feel or see it through the fabric! When you’re ready for intercourse or oral sex, Pull your panties to the side and let your man do his thing. Pulling your panties to the side to get it on feels super naughty for both of you, and your man will love it!

Let Him Give You A Facial

Some guys enjoy the idea of giving a woman a facial – and not the kind you get at the beauty salon. For whatever reason, some men love the idea of ejaculating on a woman’s face and if you can get past the “gross” factor (or if it doesn’t bother you at all) your man may really enjoy doing this with you. Next time you give him a blowjob, let him finish on your face. It will make him feel like you’re being extra naughty and he won’t be able to keep his hands off you!

Have Impromptu Car Sex – With Road Head

Having sex in public is definitely naughty, so car sex fits the bill. If you want your man to find you truly dirty, surprise him with an impromptu sex session next time you’re on a road trip. Ask him to pull over on the side of the road (make sure its fairly deserted) and hop in the backseat for a quickie. Or, you can give him road head – which he’ll absolutely love. Road head is much easier to give, because it’s harder to get caught doing it.

Go Commando

Next time you and your lover go out to dinner together (or anywhere really), conveniently “forget” to put on panties beforehand. Of course, make sure you’re wearing something that won’t show your cooter when you bend over. Then, lean over and whisper in his ear that you’re not wearing any panties underneath your clothes – and watch as his eyes pop right out of his head! The idea of you not having any panties on all night (especially he gets to cop a quick feel) will make him want to tear your clothes off the minute you get home.

Wear F-Me Shoes

Stilettos make any woman’s legs look miles long – it’s one of the reasons that men enjoy watching women in the adult entertainment industry. If you notice, even in porn, they always wear high heels or platform heels of some kind. That’s because they’re an instant turn on for guys! Next time you’re at the shoe store, get a pair of really sexy f-me shoes and hide them in the closet. Wear them the next time you don your little black dress for an evening out, or better yet, wear the shoes (and only the shoes) next time you want to seduce your lover.

Get Your Tongue Pierced

This may not be your idea of fun, but if you’re open to it, getting a tongue piercing can improve oral sex for guys by quite a bit. Plus, it’s something a lot of “naughty” girls have done. In fact, many guys will instantly start thinking a girl is naughty and extra dirty in the sack as soon as he sees the tongue ring flash in her mouth while she’s talking. If the idea intrigues you, talk to a reputable piercer and ask some questions. You may just leave with a shiny new piece of jewelry that your man will love!

3 Tips for Keeping Rough Sex Unpredictable

By

Rough sex can be lots of fun for both you and your partner, but even though you’re not necessarily having what is known as “vanilla sex” (you know, the plain, boring kind), it can get monotonous if you’re not careful to mix things up every now and then.

Some couples get bored of rough sex after awhile, but are afraid to take it any further because they aren’t comfortable with spanking harder or going too far outside their box. However, you can keep things interesting and exciting without pushing yourself or your partner too far past your comfort zone. Here are three ways to keep rough sex new and fun.

How Rough Sex Can Become Monotonous

Whether you’re talking about oral sex, rough sex or good old fashioned intercourse, if you and your lover do the same things over and over again, it’s going to get boring. You may think that just because you’re having “rough sex” that you’re keeping things fresh, but that isn’t always the case. It’s easy to get bored with biting, spanking and even a little bondage if that’s all you do.

The Key To Mixing It Up

The key to keep rough sex unpredictable is to mix it up with different styles of sex, specifically sweet, romantic, slow sex. Your partner won’t be expecting your next move if you switch from being soft and loving to giving her a quick smack and showing a little bit of domination and control. Going back and forth between the two different styles of sex will keep your partner guessing all night at what you’re going to do next!

Why You Need To Keep Her Guessing Your Next Move

Trying something new to spice up your sex life is one thing, but it still gives your partner an idea of what is to come when when she slides between the sheets at the end of the day. If you really want to make sex between you and your lover exciting and fresh, you want to make what you’re doing completely unpredictable. If you always slide your hands to her breasts after giving her a slow, deep kiss, she’ll learn to expect that you’re going to do that every time and she’ll know exactly what you’re going to do and when.

Instead, try giving her a firm pinch or slap on her rear after the deeply romantic kiss – and then switch right back to moves that are slow and sensual. If you keep alternating between rough sex and sweet and loving sex, she’ll never know what to expect and it will be like having sex for the first time all over again!

3 Ways To Make Rough Sex New & Exciting

1. Kiss the back of her neck softly and then suddenly give her a sharp spank.

The back of a woman’s neck is actually one of her more potent erogenous zones. Kissing her softly on the back of the neck is sure to give her goosebumps all over, but what she won’t be prepared for is the firm spank on her rear. Surprise her with a firm smack or two and gauge her reaction. You’ll see the surprise there, but you’ll definitely notice how much more turned on she is because you did something she didn’t see coming. She’ll be just as surprised when you switch to kissing her softly again!

2. Have rough, dominant doggy style sex, then suddenly switch to the missionary position and start slowly and gently making love to her.

If you and your lover are going at it doggy style, she’ll think that you’re going to finish that way and that will be that. Instead, flip her over and start to pleasure her with soft, slow sex. When she’s had an orgasm or two, switch back to rough sex and show her your dominant side!

3. Use a two-sided “flogger” (a sex toy with a hard surface on one side and a soft, tickly surface on the other) and gently tickle her body with the soft side and switch to spanking her firmly with the hard side.

When you alternate between two different touches – one hard and firm, and the other soft – you are sending two different sensations and emotions through your lover’s body. She’ll be incredibly turned on by feeling cherished while you tickle and stroke her, to feeling submissive while you dominate her with a firm touch. Alternating back and forth during foreplay (in a completely random way) will keep her guessing and what she’s going to feel next!

How To Share Your Sexual Fantasies With Each Other

By

Sexual fantasies are something everyone has – but many people are too shy to reveal them. They’ll enjoy their sexual fantasies on their own during masturbation or solo play, but they may be afraid of sharing them with a partner, even someone they are very close to. However, exploring your fantasies together can be a great way to increase intimacy and bring more heat into your sex life! Here’s how you and your lover can accept each other’s desires.

These can be both a blessing and a curse. There are so many men and women that are afraid to tell their partner what they want in the bedroom out of fear of rejection. Telling your partner that you think it would be hot to live out a fantasy is not very easy if they are not receptive.

Having a wife or husband that is willing to engage in your wants and needs is crucial to being happy. When you are in a relationship with a partner who is not willing to entertain your fantasies it is easy to become frustrated or discouraged by their stubbornness. Here are a few way that you can tell your partner about your fantasies and hear some of theirs as well.

1. Have A Meeting

No, you don’t have to get access to a boardroom, but you do have to arrange a meeting with your partner. When you are having a discussion about your it, you want to make sure that you are in a good environment for it. Give the kids some money to go out for ice cream or arrange a time when your partner’s favorite TV show isn’t on.

There can be no distractions when you are discussing your sex life. If there are distractions your partner might just tell you what you want to hear instead of really listening to what you are saying. This isn’t an intervention, but you should kind of take the approach.

2. Engage Them As A Partner

There is no reason to place blame on yourself or on your partner. Sure, either of you might feel like the other is not as receptive to your sexual fantasies as you wish, but that is why you are talking about it now. The last thing that you want to do is turn a discussion into an argument. Talking about your desires should be fun and exciting. It shouldn’t drudge up past problems in the relationship or lead to new problems. Remember that your partner is going to take a part in your sexual fantasies so you need to be respectful and figure out a way to work together so you are both happy.

3. Leave The Judgment At The Door

All judgment should be left out of the room when you are discussing your wants and needs. One of the biggest problems with couples is honesty. There is a lot of judgment in every day lives and couples can feel as if their partners would reject them if they shared something that was too over the top.

For the most part, your partner’s desires are going to be fairly tame. If you’re in a healthy relationship and you are committed to each other, there is nothing that should sway your partner’s love for you. Desires should be used to create more intimacy in the relationship, not to bring a barrier between the two of you.

4. Reciprocity

Each of you should be sharing with each other. It takes two people to make up a couple so there is no reason why one partner’s fantasies should overshadow the others. Make it a point to talk to each about both of your fantasies for a more healthy relationship.

If there are conflicting fantasies then you need to work through them. For instance, if both of you have sexual fantasies about being dominated by the other, you should take turns. There is no reason that the both of you can’t be happy. Work together to get rid of all the discrepancies in the relationship and enjoy your desires together.

5. Start Slow

It’s all too easy to start sharing your sexual fantasies and then get so hot that you can’t wait to put them to work for you. Start off slow. You have no idea how your partner is going to react once you or they finally get what they want. The fantasy might not actually have the same weight that it did in you mind.

Your partner might not even do it right the first time. Start off slow so the both of you can perfect your sexual fantasies and make them mind blowing each time. If you rush it, what you thought would be super hot could actually leave a very bad taste in your mouth. Take your time and build upon what you and your partner feel comfortable with.