How long do you think a man like James Bond lasts in bed?

Inevitably when I ask this question I expect answers like “for hours,” “as long as he wants” or “until she’s satisfied multiple times.”

But why is that?

Why do we expect someone like James Bond to be able to last longer in bed?

The answer is pretty simple. It’s because James Bond is cool, calm and under control. This guy has got a rock solid mental attitude. He’s got confidence, he believes in himself and stands up strong to what most men fear.

So when it comes to having sex do you think he’s worrying “Oh god I hope I don’t prematurely ejaculate”, “what will I do if I orgasm too soon?” or “what is she thinking of me while we’re having sex?”

Of course he’s not worrying about any of those things.

And that’s why if you ask most people the question “how long do you think a guy like James Bond can last in bed?” people inevitably expect him to last for a long time.

It’s because of his mental attitude.

How Your Attitude Will Make Sex Last Longer

The fact is that what you think about before and during sex has a dramatic affect on how long you last in bed. We’ve just proved that we really already know this by the common answers to how long we expect James Bond would last.

But this doesn’t mean you need to be like James Bond in terms of how looks, what you do or who you sleep with, the only way you need to be like James Bond is to adopt a confident mindset in the bedroom.

As it stands the chances are you’re worrying way more during sex than you need to be. And this worry can have a seriously detrimental effect on how long you can last during sex. This is because when you are nervous and when you worry you end up releasing certain hormones into the blood stream (in particular dopamine and adrenaline) which actually encourage premature ejaculation.

So if you want to last longer in bed you need to eliminate nervousness and worry and become sexually confident.

Now you may say “I’m just not a confident guy when it comes to sex” or “there’s nothing I can do change how I think during sex” and in the past I would have agreed with you.

Before I figured out how to last long in bed I used to think I just wasn’t confident enough in the bedroom and there was nothing I could do about it. But one day I realized something that changed my sex life forever.

“Sexual confidence is a feeling not an identity.”

What Sexual Confidence Really Is

When a person says “I’m just not confident in the bedroom” they’re just mistaking who they are for how they feel.

If you then ask that same person “has there ever been a time in your life when you did feel confident about something?” they’ll without doubt come up with at least one time.

And if you can come up with one time then you have the power to create a feeling of confidence again and again and again.

The truth is that if you can feel confident at one particular time then you can feel confident at another time. All you’ve got to do is think the same things you thought and act the same way you acted that time you were confident.

So take a moment now to think back to a time in your life when you felt really confident about something.

What words did you say to yourself in your head?

How did you say them? Loud, soft, intensely, fast?

What images did you have in your head? Were they bright, colourful, close to you, in movie form?

What were you doing with your body? How were you holding yourself? Was your chest out? Were you breathing slowly and deeply? What facial expression did you have?

Answering all these questions is essential to know what you do when you’re confident. And when you’ve got the answer to all these questions you can then apply them in the bedroom to become more sexually confident and as a result last much longer.

The best way to transfer this knowledge to the bedroom is in two steps. Firstly take time to practise visualizing yourself being confident in the bedroom. Practise before hand seeing yourself as the confident guy in the bedroom that you want be. Secondly, once you’re in bed having sex create your confidence by doing all the things that you know makes you confident because of the questions you just answered.

Suddenly you’ll find yourself incredibly confident and James Bond-like in the bedroom.

And if you want to last longer in bed and end premature ejaculation it’s essential you have a confident mental attitude. Nervousness and worry are one of the primary causes of premature ejaculation. If you can eliminate them by creating your own confidence then you’ll truly be like James Bond in the bedroom.

If you want to last longer in bed you’ve got to start thinking about which sex positions you use.

Choosing the right sex position can make the difference between lasting 15 minutes- and 15 seconds.

Sure, there are some men who can have sex in whatever position they want and still last for hours, but if you’re someone who struggles to last for longer than 5 minutes, or even 5 seconds, then you’ve got to find every way you can to last longer. And as you become more confident and develop more sexual skills eventually you may not even have to worry about which positions you use. But for now, let’s focus on what positions can help you last longer in bed.

Why Premature Ejaculation Happens

Before I tell you the different sex positions that work to help you last longer you’ve got to understand a few things about why premature ejaculation happens.

Premature ejaculation happens when we men are over-stimulated. In other words it happens when a man experiences way more pleasure than he can handle in any particular moment in time.

Sometimes we create this overwhelming pleasure just with our thoughts and that’s why you’ll see scenes in movies like American Pie where a guy sees a beautiful woman and orgasms without even being touched by her.

But for 90% of men with premature ejaculation, although their thoughts play a factor, it’s overwhelming physical stimulation that actually triggers the early orgasm.

So if you want to last longer in bed you’ve got to use positions that reduce your stimulation and pleasure to controllable levels where they’re not so intense they cause you to blow within a matter of minutes or even seconds.

And there are two ways to do this. Firstly by using a position that puts pressure and demands on a part of your body other than the genitals. In these positions blood and energy are drawn away from the penis, which reduces your overall stimulation and helps you last longer. Or secondly you can use a position where you can fully relax your muscles and body. By relaxing you eliminate physical tension and muscle tightness, which is a common cause for early orgasm (more on this in a minute).

Standing Up Positions

One position you can use to draw energy and blood away from the penis is a standing up position. What’s great about this type of position is that when standing up you’ll find a lot of energy being spent in your legs just keeping you standing up. This may sound weird, but the fact is that when you’re lying down and having sex no energy is really being spent in your body apart from in the hips. If you’re only spending energy in your hips then the blood will be flowing there, which adds so stimulation and promotes early orgasm. By standing up you draw blood away from the genitals and into your legs making lasting longer easier.

To take this standing up position to the next level you can also pick up and carry your woman. Now I know this may not be possible in all situations, but if you are in some way holding your woman as well you’ll find even more energy is drawn away from your genitals so lasting longer becomes even easier.

Special Version Of The Missionary Position

The missionary position is when the woman lies on the bottom facing upwards, with the man lying on top of her between her legs while facing down. This is probably the most commonly used sex position and unfortunately it’s also very likely to cause premature ejaculation. The reason why this happens is like I explained earlier, there’s nowhere else for the blood to go except to your hips and genitals. So with all that blood flowing around your genitals you’re much more prone to early orgasm.

So one way to vary this position is to get on your knees and place her legs over your knees or legs. Everything will be the same as before, you’re still lying on top of her, with the one difference that you are on your knees and her legs are lying on top of yours.

Once you’re in this position spread your knees as wide apart as possible until you can feel your groin muscles stretching (Note: stretch only to the point where you feel the stretch, don’t stretch so far it causes pain). This is how the special version of the missionary position should be performed.

Although this change here is subtle, it makes a big difference. And this is because by stretching your groin you’re putting pressure and demands on your groin. Like I explained earlier, when you put pressure and demands elsewhere energy and blood will flow there and away from your genitals and penis, making lasting longer much easier. On top of that it’s a simple variation of one of the most popular sex positions and no woman will have a problem with you using it.

Her On Top

A lot of men have problems with premature ejaculation when the woman is on top, but most of the time it’s because they don’t know what to do in this situation. Getting her on top can actually be very effective for lasting longer. This is because when she’s on top you can fully relax all your muscles.

You may in the past have noticed that when you get close to orgasm your muscles tighten and tense up. In most cases for an orgasm to happen there has to be a release of physical tension. This is why your muscles tighten before orgasm.

So if you realize and become conscious of this muscle tightening you can in fact last longer in bed just by simply relaxing your muscles. And her on top is a great position in which to do this.

Go Get Started

Above I’ve outlined two important characteristics needed in a position for it to help you last longer in bed; the position should either draw blood away from the penis because of pressure and demands in other parts of the body or it should allow you to fully relax your body. Any position with one of these two characteristics should take you a long way in helping you last longer in bed.

If you’re struggling with premature ejaculation and don’t find a way of stopping it, soon you’re going to have to deal with the ugly situation of a frustrated partner.

Luckily you don’t need pills, herbs, gadgets or special creams to last longer in bed.

All you need to do is change some of the things you do before and during sex.

Now since most men don’t know this a lot of them will look for a pill to cure the problem. Or maybe they’ll check out some special herbal treatment. Before I ended my premature ejaculation, I tried a bunch of different things like “special condoms” that were supposed to help me last longer, But all they did was numb the end of my penis slightly, take away from the pleasure of sex and not even help me last any longer.

But eventually I had a breakthrough!

What Premature Ejaculation Really Is

Premature ejaculation isn’t just some uncontrollable “thing” experienced by unlucky men. Premature ejaculation happens for a reason. It happens when you trigger yourself to orgasm earlier than you want to. And an orgasm doesn’t just happen out of nowhere. There are very specific things you do to trigger yourself to orgasm. And often you’ll end up doing things to trigger orgasms without even realizing it.

So when it comes to sex, if you can be more aware of exactly what triggers you to orgasm, and then change those things, you can last longer in bed.

For example, one hugely common trigger of orgasm is fast thrusting. As men, it’s instinctive for us when having sex to thrust as quickly as possible. We see it in all the porn movies (if you watch porn that is) and for whatever reason it just seems to come naturally.

But the funny thing is that when you ask a woman what things she really likes in bed, rarely will “hard and fast thrusting” be at the top of her list.

So the reality is, is that there’s a disconnect here.

Women tend to value other things much more than fast thrusting. For example, women tend to value the emotion you bring during sex. How much attention are you paying to them? How present are you? Are you leading with passion? Are you taking control in a fun enjoyable way? These are the kind of things she’s much more concerned about.

So what does all this mean when it comes to premature ejaculation?

How To Avoid Premature Ejaculation Triggers

Well it means that if a huge trigger for premature ejaculation is fast thrusting in only a few sex positions, then you need to avoid it! There are many things besides fast thrusting that you can do to please the woman you’re with, then fast thrusting probably isn’t a great place to start when it comes to sex.

The next time you have sex start by thrusting a lot slower. By thrusting slower at the start it’s much easier for you to last longer because you’re stimulating yourself less. At the same time, by thrusting slower you’re still giving her lots of pleasure, because she’s likely to interpret it as you being caring, passionate and taking control of the situation.

Of course you can always speed up your thrusting later, because some women do enjoy that, but at least by starting out slow you’ll give yourself a chance to last longer than usual.

So there’s one example of how by becoming aware of what triggers you to orgasm you can learn to last longer in bed.

Why Relaxation During Sex Is Key

Another thing that commonly triggers a man to orgasm is a build up of physical tension. Increasing physical tension is something that happens naturally and subconsciously when we have sex. You may have noticed that while having sex your muscles become more and more tense. In particular you’ll probably notice that you’re leg and butt muscles become very tense and tight. Just before orgasm is when they reach their maximum tightness. And just as you orgasm all your energy is released and all that tension melts away.

Most of the time tension is actually required for an orgasm to happen. If it weren’t for tension then there would be no pressure to release through orgasm.

And being someone who wants to last longer in bed you can take advantage of this.

High levels of physical tension and tight muscles are a trigger for orgasm. If you can lower your physical tension and reduce muscle tightness then you can avoid your orgasm trigger.

And doing this is very simple.

Like I said, most of the time this happens subconsciously. You don’t say to yourself “right, I want to orgasm now, so I’m going to tense my muscles.” It just happens. So all it takes to relax your muscles is to become conscious of them. Start noticing when your muscles are tightening and getting tense, and when they do, just relax them. Focus on keeping your muscles relaxed throughout sex, until you want to orgasm. You may also want to take some slow deep breaths, because this will help to relax your muscles as well.

By fully relaxing your muscles you’re eliminating tension in your body, which is a powerful trigger for orgasm. And by removing your orgasm trigger, you can last longer in bed.

If you now remove both the orgasm triggers I’ve just talked about and any other orgasm trigger you can think of, lasting longer in bed naturally should be no problem. And like I promised, no pills, herbs or special creams needed.