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Questions To Ask Before Sex

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Before doing the deed with a total stranger, it is recommended to have an open discussion about sexuality, safe sex and STD’s. Ideally, coupledom should start this way, with both parties opening up and talking about the people they had sex with, the last time they had an HIV test, and whether or not they’ve always used protection during sex in the past.

But we all know that a conversation like that will kill romance and will make the date feel more like an interrogation than a prelude to sex.

So, should you just let the burning questions in your mind go unanswered? Of course not! There are ways to ask without being a “mood killer.” Tactful perseverance and the ability to read between the lines are the skills you need to make your new partner open up without feeling affronted.

For instance, you want to ask about condom use. You can start with a discussion on which condom brands are the best, which ones you have tried, and whether the condoms he brought with him are thin enough. From there, you can progress to questions on safe sex and number of sex partners.

Here is a list of questions to ask before sex…

Sexual Preference 

Is he bisexual? If you ask about gender preference, you should also be ready to talk about your own preference.

You must also be prepared to hear something you do not want to hear. For instance, your partner might have been a woman in the past, or he was gay before he met you.

Safety

Was there a time when he did not use condoms? If your partner was in a long-term relationship (or he is in a long-term relationship with someone else), ask about his reasons for not using protection.

Maybe he wanted to have kids? Maybe he felt safe in a monogamous relationship? You can also mention something about latex allergy and how you are wondering if he is allergic to latex. Again, you must also be prepared to share your safe sex stories with your new lover if you open this topic.

Kinky Preference

Any S&M tendencies? What is kinky to you might be commonplace to your new partner. If your fetishes jive, you may have found your soul mate.

Ask about favorite sex positions, fetishes and the like. In addition, ask whether he engages in anal sex. You wouldn’t want your partner to surprise you with anal sex when you’re not ready for it, would you?

When you ask questions before you have sex, you have no choice but to take the answers as they are. You do not really know whether or not your new partner is lying. After all, he might assume that telling the naked truth may just turn you off completely.

Nevertheless, it’s still best to lay your cards on the table when you are about to get naked with a guy you just met. Be alert and watch out for inconsistencies. He may be saying one thing and doing another, so watch out.

First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style

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First time sex is field with anticipation (the good kind) and excitement. But I bet you are also tense and apprehensive about losing your virginity. If you’re like most girls, you probably want to be a sex bombshell as early as your first time. Is it possible to be good in bed if you have had zero experience in the past?

To answer that question, yes. You are capable of turning your man on and being great in bed even without prior experience in the erotic arts. How? Here are some tips on how you can lose your virginity in style.

Choose a Fabulous Outfit

Your first time is an event worth celebrating, even if you’re the only one who thinks it’s a big deal. When you’re alone, imagine yourself with the man you love and think of what would make you feel sexy at that moment. Imagine the scene from undressing to going under the covers.

It’s impossible for you to be dressed in your usual clothes one minute and be completely naked the next. The transition from dressed to undressed is a crucial part of sex. You’ll be in your underwear, so you’d better look great.

Go out to the shopping mall and look for the most stunning, sexy lingerie you can find. When you see a lacy pair, ask yourself if you want to lose your virginity in that outfit. If you’re hesitant about splurging money for your first time, just remind yourself that this is a once in a lifetime experience and you’d rather spend it in lace than in your usual cotton bloomers.

Feel Sexy

There are some things that women do to feel sexy. Some girls wear their hair a certain way. Some love putting on sheer lip gloss (the ultra-wet variety), and some use dark mascara and eyeliner to emphasize their eyes. Some spend time in the spa or the beauty parlor with girlfriends to moisturize their skin and feel refreshed.

Whatever will make you feel sexy, do it. The more sexy you feel, the more you will lose the awkwardness of knowing it’s your first, while it may be his twentieth time in the bedroom with a girl. At the very least, knowing that you look your best will help you feel more comfortable about baring your whole body in front of a guy.

Connect With Your Man Romantically

Sex with love involved feels a lot better than “just sex”. If you’re feeling so much distance in your relationship, don’t have sex. Do it when the right time comes, and usually, this means you need to be more than a bit in love with the guy before you give up your virginity.

Romance will get you in the right mood. Have something prepared to make him feel more romantic towards you. Put on some music, light some scented candles and go for whispered conversation rather than a normal one. Make sure you feed your man dessert with your hands so that you can transition from the dining room to the bedroom easily.

Getting To The Climax Sooner

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Is it unfair when a man has his orgasm and you don’t? Some women would say reaching orgasm does not matter, as long as emotional fulfilment is there. Some never admit that they have never had an orgasm during sex with their partner because they think faking is like lying. A woman’s reasons for faking orgasm is her own, but one thing’s for sure… not reaching orgasm during sex is an issue for most women, whether they admit it or not.

Experts from different scientific fields could probably cite several psychological and physiological reasons why women don’t reach orgasm during sex. Research works on female libido are many and extensive, but they almost always point to the fact that a woman who cannot climax is either psychologically disturbed or hormonally challenged.

Here’s what I think. It’s not that a woman cannot reach an orgasm during sex; it’s just that a woman cannot climax as fast as her man can. Moreover, a woman’s orgasm momentum might “reset” whenever a man changes the sex position while the woman is building her orgasm rhythm, or when she’s distracted by actual noise or psychological noise (discomfort, boredom etc).

If a woman can find a way to climax faster, she can enjoy sex more and eventually crave sex all the time.

Fondle Your Clitoris

Your man could be busy keeping his balance, fondling your breasts or lifting your legs. When he isn’t in the best position to fondle you down there where you’re most sensitive, you must do it yourself. In the end, your participation in the bedroom matters.

Your clitoris is the small nub at the lower part of your pubic mound. When you shower, you can try exploring that part of your anatomy just to try the sensations associated with clitoral touching. By doing this, you will become more familiar with the way your body works when fondled intimately.

Fantasize

Here’s a good way to block the psychological noise that we mentioned above. If your man’s technique is boring and you feel your libido crashing to nothingness, it’s time to fire up your imagination. Think of an erotic scene and act like you’re the girl in that scenario.

Acting like the heroine in your own porn video isn’t just for his benefit. You’re thinking of ways to feel sexy and that matters a lot when it comes to lovemaking.

Get Him Involved

A man thinks he’s doing quite well when you’re in the bedroom, even if you know he isn’t. While your goal is not to embarrass him by pointing out that “he’s doing it wrong”, it doesn’t hurt to suggest ways to make sex better. For instance, you can take his hand and place it on your nipples while your hand is busy with your clitoris, or vice versa.

Tell him what you want. Show him how you masturbate when you’re alone. Your man isn’t a mind reader and he can’t be expected to be extra-perceptive about your pleasure when his own orgasm is likely to occur at any moment.

5 Most Popular Places To Have Sex

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Have you ever felt the urge to have sex with your man but you’re not quite sure you have the patience to drive a few kilometres to get to his place together? Have you ever been too broke to rent a room but you feel that you’re going to burst in the next hour if you don’t do it with him at that moment? There are so many couples that have felt the same way and somehow survived by not being too fussy about their choice of where to have sex.

Being frugal and having no other choice are not the only reasons to go out and look for other love nest venues. If your sex life has stalled, and you’re looking for ways to spice things up, it’s time to have sex in other, more exciting places.

5 Most Popular Places To Have Sex

  1. In The Car – It’s exciting when you do it in the parking lot, where other cars and people are moving around. Doing it in a car will only allow the most basic sex positions, but the thrill of having sex in a public place is worth it!
  2. In A Motel – If you can’t afford a room in a 5-star hotel, renting a motel room is a good alternative. Motel room walls are thin so you can’t make too much noise. Choose one that’s near his place or your place so that you feel like you’re sneaking out to have illicit sex. As long as there’s a bed and a heater, a motel room is good enough for a playful 3-hour romp.
  3. In A Tent – On your anniversary, why not pitch a tent in your backyard and do it there. Again, you can’t make too much noise because you might wake the neighbors. The cramped interior of the tent will force you and your boyfriend to stick to the more traditional sex positions like spooning and missionary.
  4. In A Hammock On The Beach At Sunset – For a more exciting and romantic intimate moment, on the beach (or your backyard), you can try doing it while you’re lying together in a hammock. The risk of falling off is one of the things that make this sex venue exciting. You can try woman-on-top so that her legs are hanging on both sides of the hammock. Alternatively, you can try the spoon position, even if the risk of falling off is greater.
  5. While Swimming In The Pool Or At The Beach – Sex underwater is uncomfortable, but if you are suitably lubricated during penetration, you only have to move slightly to feel the friction. If you can’t do the standing position normally because your man cannot carry you, this is a great way to try this sex position without much effort on his part.

Doing it in places other than your bedroom will prove that you’re still fun, playful and adventurous as a couple. Changing venues is a great way to bring back the excitement in your relationship and to improve intimacy.

Can A Guy Fake An Orgasm?

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Everyone knows that women fake orgasms and get away with it because there’s no evidence that she did not climax. Women lubricate a lot during sex, and more often than not men rely on verbal assurance and female body language to know whether a girl reached orgasm or not. Most men have no idea that a girl is faking.

But what about men? Can men fake orgasm as well?

You would be surprised to know that a lot of men fake orgasm without getting caught. Blame it on the condom. A lubricated condom can make it seem like a man blew a suitable amount of semi-clear liquid, but the truth is that it’s mostly pre-ejaculate. Women often don’t notice that a man is faking because he consciously tries to simulate the facial expression of a man on the brink of climax; much like the way we do it.

If you’re wondering why men bother, here are some of the main reasons why men fake.

He Can’t Go For A Second Round

If a man has already reached climax during the first round of sex, there’s a chance that he can’t have multiple orgasms. However, his pride won’t let him quit so he tries to get it up. But what if during the second round, his exhaustion keeps him from performing? Should he wave the white flag and admit that he can’t perform or should he fake?

Premature ejaculation is a cop out when a man just can’t perform. He can apologize to the woman, and flatter her by saying that she’s really sexy so he couldn’t contain himself. And, she will digest all that without ever realizing that the orgasm wasn’t real.

He’s Too Drunk To Continue

Some men don’t have to climax to become as limp as soggy noodles. When drunk, some guys can only maintain an erection for about five minutes. To save face, he fakes an orgasm when he feels that he’s losing his erection so that he doesn’t have to admit that he just cannot maintain an erection.

He’s Distracted

The sad truth is that men fake orgasm for the same reason that women do. Men deal with the stress of being the aggressor in the bedroom, and some guys cannot handle that kind of pressure. He might be struggling with a problem, or he could be feeling distant.

He Wants To Avoid Drama

The thing is, men fake because they don’t want to deal with a sullen partner. A woman’s pride plummets when she feels unattractive; and there’s no faster way to make her feel that she’s ugly than not getting turned on when she’s naked and willing in front of a man. Men would rather be thought of as premature ejaculators than deal with all that drama.

If you suspect your man’s faking, you can discuss his problems. Maybe you don’t know about his drinking habit and he’s trying to hide it. Maybe you don’t know that he’s frequently off-peak because of work-related stress.

Whatever you do, don’t force him to admit that he has faked his orgasm more than a few times. Men’s reasons for faking are more profound than ours, so it’s better to focus on much more constructive things than trying to make him admit the truth.