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You are here: Home / Archives for kendallashley

How Do I Tell My Girlfriend About My Foot Fetish?

By kendallashley

A foot fetish is one of the most common fetishes in the sexual realm. Foot fetishes are usually the worship or obsession with female feet. If you want to tell your girlfriend about it, you are probably nervous about how she will take it.

It’s important to remember that every guy and girl has a fetish of something to some degree. Whether they have a thing for being dominated, oral sex or a specific body part, a fetish is just an admiration. Some guys are into breasts while others love a nice pair of legs on a girl.

An admiration for feet is not that out there and you shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. If you are still worried about telling your girlfriend about your foot fetish, there are a few things that you can do to make the situation more comfortable.

Don’t Go All In

Chances are you have already had sex with your girlfriend. During sex you have probably abstained from licking or sucking on her feet. If you have licked or sucked on her feet or toes and she has not mentioned it making her uncomfortable then half the battle is already won.

If you have not done anything to her feet then you are starting at square one. Have a healthy respect for your partner and do not try anything that is going to make her uncomfortable before you get a chance to talk to her about it.

This is pretty universal for any fetish, but it’s essential for a foot fetish. Many people find feet disgusting and this could be a huge turn off if implemented without explaining yourself first.

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Consequences

This is easier said than done, but you shouldn’t be afraid of any possible rejection. Sex is an important part of every relationship and if you are with somebody that isn’t going to accommodate you in the bedroom then they are probably not right for you.

When your girlfriend entertains your fetish she shows that she really does care about you. She should not be judgmental about your fetish as she probably has something that she’s into also. You want to be with somebody that you can express yourself openly with.

A girlfriend who is judgmental and doesn’t try to understand your foot fetish will be a lifelong hang up that you will regret. It is not uncommon and you should not feel like you’re going to be excommunicated from society after telling her about it.

Remember Her Needs

Comfort is an essential part of every relationship. When you are telling her about your likes, it’s important to realize her needs also. If she is going to entertain your foot fetish then there is probably something that you can do for her. A trade off in the bedroom is always nice because each partner gets what he or she wants. If she is going to let you worship her feet then you should be just accommodating to something that she needs.

Telling Her

Don’t tell her about it over dinner or just before you’re having sex. Arrange a time when neither of you are busy and sit her down. Just say, there’s something that I want to talk about with you. Once she is comfortable, tell her outright. Don’t beat around the bush.

Come right out and tell her in easy to understand terms. You don’t want to be explicit when you’re telling her about your foot fetish, but you want her to understand that this is an important part of your sexually and you want to implement it into your sex life. Ask her if she is comfortable enough with it and what she will not be comfortable with. The key is to get her talking honestly about the situation.

The Benefits

The benefits of talking to your partner about your foot fetish are immense. Putting that feeling in your stomach to rest and having a healthy relationship with somebody that you love is essential. When you tell her about it, ask her about anything that you can do to make her happier with your sex life.

More than likely there is something that you can do to turn her on in the bedroom. Communication is the key to any relationship. When there is no communication, secrets and resentment can set in. Talk to your girlfriend about your it. A relationship without proper communication cannot be successful so be as upfront and honest with her as possible.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, fetishes, sex tips, sexual fantasies

When Is Your Kink Really A Fetish?

By kendallashley

A kink is something someone really likes during sex – but what is a fetish, and how can you tell if your kink really is that or if it’s something more?

Who Wants A Boring Sex Life?

Nobody enjoys a boring a sex life. Having variety in the bedroom is a natural form of keeping things interesting. Doing missionary every time or knowing that somebody is going to have an orgasm right at five minutes thirty seconds into girl on top is not the most exciting way to go through life. In an effort to keep the monotony out of our sex lives we try new things.

We bring in sex toys, role-playing and other aspects of naughtiness to keep the spark. Kinkiness is essential for this, however, when does the kink turn into something more? The line between kink and fetish is kind of grey, but there are certain keys to finding out if you are just kinky or have an all out fetish. Here are the main differences between the two.

What Is Kinky?

The definition of kinky can vary from person to person depending on whom you talk to. Some people find that simply having a girl on top is kinky while others think of this as a standard sexual position. Some people will find using handcuffs in the bedroom is really kinky while others consider it a requirement. It’s not very easy to define kinky because so many people are beginning to take hold of their sexuality.

Normal loving sex with one woman and one man will usually involve the missionary position, eye contact and kissing. Many people find dirty talk to be extremely kinky. When you start talking about what kinky is it’s really up for personal interpretation. So if we don’t know what kinky is, how do we know what a fetish is? The fact of the matter is that defining this is actually much easier than defining what kinky is.

What Is A Fetish?

Defining this is actually fairly simple. This is basically when you derive sexual arousal from something that is not grouped into sexuality. For instance some people have a fetish for high heels. High heels are not directly attributed to sexuality, however, high heels are commonly referred to as sexy. High heels are a little bit different than a vibrator or a dildo.

Although a vibrator and a dildo can be seen as sexy, they are directly attributed to sexuality because they are used for giving sexual gratification. High heels are simply an accessory used to give a woman more height. While a lot of men find high heels to be an extreme turn on, most men would be able to get aroused without the presence of high heels. This takes us to our next key term in defining what this actually is.

Fixation Makes The Difference

One of the most important aspects of having a fetish is fixation. Fixation is the obsession with a characteristic, action or an inanimate object in a sexual nature. For instance, if we went back to the high heel example, this would involve a guy that could not get sexually aroused without the presence of high heels. This is much different than finding high heels extremely sexy. Wanting your girlfriend or wife to wear high heels in the bedroom once or twice is kinky, while needing your wife or girlfriend to wear high heels every time is considered a fetish.

This doesn’t have to work with objects though. You probably hear men say that they love “blondes.” If you have an affinity for blonds, but you would also date a brunette then you don’t have a fetish. If you your affinity for blondes was something more, you would not find any other color of hair acceptable or sexually desired. This can also be present in different actions.

For instance, to be fixated on voyeurism or exhibition would mean that you could not have an orgasm unless you were watching another couple having sex or unless another couple was watching you. Public sex, certain sexual positions and role-playing can also be a fetish, while doing them every once in a while is just kinky.

Affects It Can Have

A fetish can actually be a lot of fun, but there are certain ones that can be a problem for certain relationships. They can also be draining for the other person. Always having to wear high heels to give you an orgasm or acting out a certain scene cuts down on the spontaneity of the moment. Always remember that your likes and dislikes should be considered just as much as your partner’s needs. Never forget that a relationship works two ways and nobody can get their way all the time.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: fetishes, kink, kinky sex, sexual fantasies

Domination 101 – The Basics

By kendallashley

Domination is something that is enjoyed by millions of people around the world. It is usually associated with whips, chains, leather and latex. Although these can be a part of this sex activity, the concept is more of an emotion than a physical object. Using a black leather whip and beating somebody to death is not the purpose of it. One of the biggest issues with this is safety. Making sure that you and your partner are safe and comfortable is critical to having a good experience in the bedroom. If you have an interest in domination, there are a several things that you should know beforehand. Here is a short guide to help you out.

What Is Domination?

Domination is a very basic term. You have probably already experienced this and didn’t even know it. The dominant partner is the one who is steering the experience. The antithesis of dominance is submission. If you tend to steer the experience or initiate sex more often then you are the dominant one in the bedroom. This is much different than the other aspects of your relationship. One of you could be dominant in the bedroom but submissive with everyday decisions like where to eat. The more dominant person in bed will be the one who changes the positions or sets the pace for the sexual rhythm.

The Appeal

There are a lot of reasons that people are into this. For some people with high paying jobs or social anxiety it’s easier to allow somebody to make all of the decisions for them. Giving away control is one of the biggest turn-ons for people who are into it. When you are making decisions all day, having somebody come in and tell you what to do is a change of pace that takes your mind off the pressures of work, school or other aspects of your life. Domination is an aspect of every part of society. It doesn’t matter who you are, you always answer to somebody. Having someone answer to YOU in the bedroom is an erotic way of letting loose and relieving the pressures of life.

Safety Matters!

When people first start out, they usually don’t take safety as seriously as they should. Safety is an essential part of every sexual experience, but it’s especially important with domination. Sex has a way of escalating. When you are comfortable with one aspect of sex you or your partner might try to implement something that you aren’t ready for simply because you’re caught up in the moment. Take precautions by implementing a safe word. A safe word is something that you would not normally say in the bedroom. “Falcon” is an example that could be used because you would probably never say this in the middle of sex. When you or your partner says the safe word you will know that they are uncomfortable with the situation or that they are in pain.

Trust Is Important

Trust is another issue with this, as you must trust your partner to not take the experience too far. Many people get off on finding a stranger to dominate them, but this isn’t recommended. Having a loving relationship with a little kink in the bedroom is healthy. Meeting somebody on Craigslist to tie you up and spank you incessantly is not a recommendation to endorse. Make sure that your partner are comfortable with everything by talking about it beforehand. Find out what they are not comfortable with so you know before you have sex. This is also a way to find out what really turns them on.

It is a great way to easily add a little spice to your relationship. It’s only natural for one partner to be more dominant than the other in the bedroom. If you or your partner is more dominant and it turns you on, talk to your partner about exploring the possibility of taking the dominance to the next level. There are very simple forms of domination that can be effective without the use of straps or whips. Holding your partners hands down or light spanking in the moment are effective without being too “out there.”

It’s important to remember that we experience domination every day through work and other aspects of our life. Getting off on it doesn’t make you strange. Bringing your fantasies to the forefront of your relationship can improve communication and your sex life. Talk to your partner about implementing more of this into your sex life and you will see a vast improvement in your closeness.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, domination, kinky sex, rough sex

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