Does true love and romance seem to run away from you?

Could you be unknowingly be pushing love away?

If you’ve been single any amount of time at all someone, somewhere has told you that the key to finding love is to stop looking. And I don’t know about you, but hearing that always completely frustrated me.  How will I ever find someone if I stop looking?  It just made no sense in my head.

That is until I realized that what I needed to do was not physically stop looking.  I should still put myself out there. I should still follow inspired action.  What I do need to do is follow the steps the law of attraction gives us focusing especially on the the last step–receiving.

Ask. Believe. Receive.

First, I ask the Universe for the relationship I want. Next, I believe that the Universe will deliver it.  Finally, and maybe most importantly, I become ready to receive it.

Becoming ready to receive actually involves a couple of sub-steps.  First, you must turn your request over to the Universe truly believing you will get what you asked for. Then, you need to detach yourself from the emotions involved in really wanting it.

Asking.

The trick to asking is this. Know what it is you want in a relationship.  Be specific and be positive.  Don’t put in negative terms.  Don’t say, for example, “I want a man who won’t treat me badly.” The negativity is there and, simply put, if you ask for negativity that is exactly what you will get. Instead ask for a man who will value and nurture you.

If you have trouble doing this, first make a list of what you don’t want.  Then rewrite it in positive language.

Once you ask, follow inspired action to work toward getting it.  This may include joining an online dating site, expanding your social circle or checking out that new coffee shop in town.

Believing.

Believe with everything that you are that the Universe will grant your request.  Being skeptical will interfere with the process and end up attracting everything you don’t want. If you catch yourself in the middle of a negative thought, immediately reroute your thinking.

Receiving.

This is the part where you have to turn it over to the Universe and let it go. But turning it over to the Universe can be difficult.  For this we need to listen to the law of detachment.  This is where that stop looking for love thing comes in. We get too attached to what it is we are looking forward which leads to negative thoughts and emotions.  We end up focusing on that attachment and that negativity and we never receive the relationship we asked for.

But How Will I Ever Find it if I Let it Go?

Here’s the thing.  When we really want something, we become very emotionally attached to it.  Many times that attachment is based in fear.  Fear that there’s no one out there for you, fear that you’re not good enough to be loved, fear that you will grow old alone.  Letting go of that attachment, that fear, does not mean you are letting go of the desire or of the intention.  You are just letting go of the negative attachment to the outcome.

Besides when you look and look for that relationship, you become frustrated.  Negative emotions are born out of that frustration.  You find yourself thinking that there are no good men left, that all men are pigs, that there are only jerks on dating sites, and on and on.  Those negative emotions go straight to the ears of the Universe and that is what you find.

Applying the Law of Detachment

The first thing to do is to identify the fear and negative emotions you are carrying around not only about men or relationships but also about yourself.  If you think you don’t deserve love, that fear will permeate every other thing.  It’s like a virus.  Fear feeds the virus and it grows and grows.  Your attachment will grow and detaching from it will become even more difficult.

Once you have identified and cleared the fear and negative emotions, you are ready to detach.  Commit to detachment. Allow yourself to enjoy the freedom of anticipating the joy of what will come.

Realize that uncertainty is the foundation of creativity.  Out of uncertainty comes solutions and freedom. Revel in the fabulousness of anticipating the wonderful things that uncertainty will bring.

Be open to all of the possibilities.  They are endless and exciting!  Experience the joy of life, have fun, broaden your horizons and soon love will find you. You won’t have to look for it any longer.