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Q&A: Is It Normal To Get Random Erections During The Day?

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Getting unwanted unwanted erections during the day – especially when you’re not doing or thinking about anything sexual at all – can be a burden for many boys in their teenage years. What is normal when it comes to getting frequent erections and what can you do to stop it from happening?

Question: Dear Dan and Jennifer, I was wondering if it is normal to get random erections during the school day, and is there anything I can do to prevent it? Please help. Thanks, and I love your show. 🙂

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASTSXn6mmoA[/youtube]

The Role Teenage Hormones Play

Both teenage girls and boys have an abundance of hormones that are coursing through their body at any given time. The body is going through major changes during this stage and life and teenage hormones can cause lots of strange things to happen to the body. Almost all teenagers notice an increase in sweat, odor and acne, while teenage girls may notice their breasts becoming larger and will be starting their periods. Teenage boys, on the other hand, can experience erections at a variety of different times. Many boys experience “wet dreams” where the penis becomes hard and ejaculates during the night. Boys may also experience erections during the day, even when they’re not doing or thinking about anything sexual at all. This is completely normal and due to the increased hormones that boys experience during their teenage years.

Masturbation Can Reduce The Number Of Unwanted Erections

To reduce the amount of unwanted erections, masturbation can help. By masturbating, a young boy is releasing many of the hormones that are causing his erections in the first place and this will help keep the penis from becoming hard so often. Masturbate in the morning before school to try to prevent erections during the day, or try doing it in the evening. Masturbate at a variety of different times during the day to find out which time will reduce unwanted erections the most. Just be careful not to focus too much on masturbation. If you find that you’re always thinking about masturbation or planning your activities around your masturbation times too much, you may be addicted. Other than a serious masturbation addiction, masturbation is a normal and healthy way for teenage boys to relieve sexual tension and reduce unwanted erections.

Have Patience

Being a teenager is tough. There are so many awkward emotions and body functions that are involved during the teenage years for both boys and girls. It may seem like there’s no end in sight, but these problems won’t last forever. As you grow up, your body will produce less hormones and your emotions and body functions will level out. Don’t worry so much about it, because right now, everyone is going through the same things that you are. Everyone has issues during their teenage years, and lots of teenage boys experience unwanted erections and masturbate daily or almost daily. Avoid making fun of others for something that happens to you too! Have patience and know that this is a common, normal thing that happens to almost every teenage boy. Take comfort in the fact that you know it’s not going to last forever.

Q&A: Help! I Keep Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

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Getting stuck in the friend zone is no fun, especially if you really want more than just a friendship with someone. But are you really looking for a serious relationship, or is it a case of like attracting like? Here’s how to find out if you’re ready for a relationship or you really are getting stuck in the friend zone!

Question: This is my first question to you guys, and i just got wind saying that you guys know your stuff when it comes to relationships. I got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiance, and its been 3 months. I’m talking to women, and it seems like all women want now is casual sex, no commitment. I feel like I keep getting stuck in the “friend zone” and that’s all women look at me as. Any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am9544xXUvw[/youtube]

Are You Really Ready For Committment?

It’s a common belief that “like attracts like” and those looking for serious relationships will actually be attracted to each other. If you’ve just gotten out of a long, committed relationship, you may subconciously just be looking for friendships right now and not know it. If you’re only attracting women who simply want to be friends and have casual sex with no strings attached, take a moment to think about if that’s really what you want too. It’s okay if you’re not ready for a serious relationship and having fun with friends is a great way to get yourself back in the dating game. Sit down and really consider what you want at this time. Are you really looking for another committed relationship or are you attracting the kind of people you subconciously want to date right now?

Don’t Rush It

There’s no rush when it comes to dating after ending a serious relationship with someone. Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, the body, mind and soul still needs to grieve for the loss and take time to adjust to a new lifestyle. Things are very different for you now, and it’s important to give yourself time to absorb it. That doesn’t mean isolate yourself, but you may want to be careful about jumping right into another committed relationship. Give yourself time to think about the relationship, but also allow yourself to think about what you want now before you take the next step.

Attracting The Kind Of Partner You Want

When you’re really ready for a committed relationship, trust that you’ll start attracting people who feel the same way you do and are also looking for a committed relationship. Focus more on having fun now, and let whatever happens happen. Time has a funny way of healing old wounds and paving the way for new and better things in your life if you let it. Constantly trying to attract a partner who wants a serious relationship when you don’t – even subconciously – will only put more stress on you and make you feel like you’re not “dateable” material. Don’t worry about it! Just have fun and build new friendships and nurture old ones. Take this opportunity to make your life what you want it to be right now and in time, the right person will come.

How To Give A Woman Her First Orgasm

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Believe it or not, many women have never had an orgasm, even if they’ve been sexually active with one or more partners before you. If you’re dating a girl who hasn’t had an orgasm, naturally you want to be the one that will give her the first one! Here’s the 3 best tips on how to give your girl her first orgasm and rock her world!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOFJ1AWcysc[/youtube]

Don’t Put Pressure On Her

The more pressure you put on your girlfriend to have an orgasm, the more locked up and tense she’s going to get. This will actually prevent her from not only enjoying what you’re doing to her, but also cause her to not have an orgasm no matter how hard you try. Simply let your girlfriend know that tonight is all about her. Encourage her to tell you what she wants to do, and avoid asking her if she’s close or if she’s about to have an orgasm. Doing so will make her feel pressured to come, and she won’t be able to. Just let her focus on the pleasure you’re giving her and let whatever happens happen.

Make Sure She Is Relaxed

If a woman is thinking about her to-do list or stressing about work or the kids, she’s not going to be able to have an orgasm regardless of what you do to please her. She needs to both physically and mentally relax before having sex, so she can work out what happened during the day and start putting it to rest. Take some time before having sex to make sure she is relaxed and in the right mindset. A glass of wine, a massage or a hot bath are all ways to give your girlfriend a few minutes to melt away the stress from the day and get ready for a night of pleasure. Ask your partner how she likes to relax. She may want to have a conversation with you over a drink or a nice meal, or she may want to watch a movie first. Let her do what she likes to do to de-stress so she’ll be ready to receive pleasure when you start.

Use Oral Sex

Don’t assume that penetration is what is going to get your girlfriend off after years of never having had an orgasm. The likelihood of getting your girlfriend to have her first orgasm with oral sex or fingering is much higher than if you try to give her an orgasm through intercourse alone. When going down on your partner, start slow. Rushing and going to fast at first can actually be painful for a woman because her clitoris and vagina is so sensitive. Go slow and give her some time to warm up and start anticipating your next move. The same goes for fingering. Use lots of lube and start soft and slow, working your way into a rhythm based on your girlfriend’s body language. Don’t be afraid to use both fingering and oral sex, as well as caressing her nipples at the same time. Many times, all a woman needs is a little extra stimulation in another area to send her over the edge of orgasm and into bliss.

How To Introduce Your Girl To Bondage

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Introducing your partner to bondage – if that’s not something she’s already into – is tricky business. If you bring it up in the wrong way, or try the hardcore stuff first, you might just turn her off of bondage and BDSM for good. Here’s how to slowly introduce your partner to bondage so you have the best chance of allowing her to get into it!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX5Ob47Lg_s[/youtube]

When To Bring It Up

Bringing up new things to try in the bedroom is not the best thing to do when you’re already in the bedroom. Never bring up new sex topics during sex, right before sex or right after sex. Also don’t bring it up during a fight or when you and your partner are tired and stressed out. So if you want your girl to get into bondage, when do you bring it up? Try talking to your girlfriend about light bondage during dinner, or after you both have had a couple glasses of wine. Bring the topic of BDSM or bondage up when you and your partner are both relaxed, stress free and are open to new ideas.

How To Bring It Up

If you have a fairly open and honest relationship with your partner, putting it out there as something you’d like to try may work well for you. However, if you’re not sure how your partner will react to your interest in bondage, you may want to be a little more creative on how you introduce the topic to her. Try telling her you read an article about bondage, or you have a friend that tried it with his girl and gauge her reaction to the information. If she seems interested, it’s probably okay to move forward with the conversation. If your girlfriend seems nervous, upset or even disgusted with the idea of BDSM or bondage, you can take that as your cue to zip it. Don’t get too hung up on your partner not wanting to try bondage, because there are lots of other fun ways you and your partner can connect in the bedroom!

What You Need

Assuming you and your partner have both agreed to try bondage, it’s best to start with light bondage rather than going straight for the hardcore handcuffs. There are a variety of products available online and at your nearest adult toy store that make bondage much more fun for both you and your partner. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on adult toys to start out with, but definitely get a few things such as a beginner’s fetish kit or japanese bondage rope. Don’t try to use regular rope you bought from the store – talk about ouch! You’ll have more success with getting your girlfriend to actually enjoy being tied up and tying you up if you have a few things that were actually made for what you want to do. If you and your partner really like the lighter stuff, you can consider graduating to some more hardcore bondage and BDSM. Remember to always have a safe word, and always stop whatever you’re doing immediately if your partner uses the safeword.

Unique Date Ideas

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Going out on dates with your partner is important to keeping your relationship interesting and fresh. However, you can only do dinner and a movie—or watching television at home—so many times before you start asking yourself if there’s something (or someone!) better out there for you. Nevertheless, with an open mind and a little advance planning, there are plenty of unique ways to spend quality-time with your significant other.

Go People-Watching

Grab a mug of coffee or a bag of trail-mix and head to a busy public place, like a park or sidewalk bench. Set up somewhere comfortable and just watch passersby for a while. You’ll get a chance to notice things about the world around you which often go unnoticed. Plus, you will have your partner there to talk about the situations you observe or people who catch your eye. You can dream aloud about how you want to be like the old couple, still holding hands after being married for fifty years. You can exchange knowing glances about the downright absurd fashion statements the teenagers are sporting. You can even share a comfortable silence together.

Take A Class Together

Whether it’s painting pottery, learning a new language, or gun-range shooting, find something that you both want to learn more about and sign up. Having someone with you while you learn new things can make the situation less intimidating and sometimes even more fun. A date idea, such as taking a class together, gives you a look into how your partner’s wheels turn when they’re faced with a challenge. Also, you can learn a lot about a person when he or she is out of their comfort zone.

Spend The Night At Home

Spend the night at home, or a night in a hotel if that’s more up your alley. Turn off the phone, the television, the computers…and climb into bed. Arm yourself with a sexy nightie, toys, videos, plenty of water, and some snacks to feed to one another. Take turns giving and receiving massages, have a tickle fight, act out a scene from one of your videos, or tell naughty bedtime stories. Sex is the best part of a date anyway! Why not cut out the middlemen otherwise known as Chili’s and the latest “rom-com”?

Go Old-School

Head to a rink and pull on some roller-skates. Find a diner and split a chocolate shake. Drive up to “the Point,” the beach—wherever the local make-out spot is—and make out. (Leave your clothes on, though. An indecent exposure ticket kind of kills the mood.)

Take A Drive Or Bus Ride

No destination, no expectations. Set out in one direction and see where you end up. You can play slug-bug, try to spot out-of-state license plates, or find a new restaurant. When you start an adventure without knowing how it will end, you never know what you’ll discover.

It could be anything, really. Look at the date as time to have fun and get to know your partner, even if you think you know them well enough already. Some of the greatest memories in a couple’s shared life are made at the most unexpected times.