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Q&A: How To Stay JUST Friends

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One of the most awkward times in a friendship is when one friend has feelings for the other that the other friend just doesn’t return. If your friend wants to be “more than friends,” it might seem impossible to let them know you don’t feel the same way without hurting their feelings, but you can and you should. Here’s how.

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn, last night my best friend of 8 years just admitted to wanting to be “more than just friends” with me however, we are both guys so I’m not really interested. He’s asked me to do stuff with him but I can’t seem to give him a straight no, I guess I just don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anyway I can permanently turn him down whilst keeping the friendship we had? Any help will be great, thanks.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVy1_B1Gs4o[/youtube]

Being Afraid Of Hurting Their Feelings

If your friend likes you and wants to be more than friends and have a romantic relationship with you, it can make the friendship very awkward if you want to stay just friends. You may be afraid to hurt them because they’re you’re friend, so you may have avoided telling them the truth about how you really feel. You may be afraid that they’ll think you don’t want to be friends at all, or they may be so hurt or embarassed that they just can’t bear to be friends with you anymore. Either way, if you haven’t told your friend the truth, you’re probably afraid that it hurt them and that it will end the friendship.

Be Honest

Regardless of how afraid you are to tell your friend the truth about not returning their romantic feelings, it’s important that you be honest with them and honest with yourself. Leading them on, even by not saying anything at all, will make it worse when you do finally tell them that you don’t like them that way or when they figure it out on their own. The best thing to do in this situation is to be completely honest, without being critical, and just let them know in a nice way that you don’t want to be romantic with them. Be sure to let them know that you really do value the friendship and want to continue to be friends, but that moving beyond that just isn’t something you are interested in.

If It Affects The Friendship 

No matter how hard you try not to hurt your friend’s feelings, you might end up doing just that. Hopefully if you’ve been honest with them and weren’t critical, they’ll understand and still want to continue the friendship. But no matter how nice or understanding you are about it, you do run the slight chance that they won’t want to stay friends with you. This is usually on account of embarassment on their part, especially if they really thought you felt romantic about them. If this happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, except let your friend know that you really don’t want to see the friendship end. Even if they choose to end the friendship, it’s important that you were honest about your feelings and didn’t lead them on. They’ll appreciate that in the long run.

Q&A: Help! My Penis Is Too Big!

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While many guys may worry that their penis is too small to please their partner, others worry that their penis is too big to fit and if it will hurt their partner. Some women can be intimidated by a very large penis, because they’re not sure it’s actually going to fit in there. It will, but here’s how you can make it easier on her.

Question: My girlfriend isn’t a virgin, but she is scared of having sex with me because my penis is too thick for her, or so she says. I’m 7 inches long and 7.5 inches around. What should I do to convince her and help her to loose her fear? We are both 18.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncG-zm6bPyg[/youtube]

Help Her To Relax First

Getting your partner to relax is the first step to making sure her vaginal muscles are pliable enough to accomodate your big penis. Give your partner a massage, or take a hot bath with her in the candlelight. Let her know that you’re going to go slow and be gentle and that if it hurts her, you’ll stop. The less anxious she is about the whole process, the easier she’ll be able to accomodate your penis length and thickness.

Get Her Warmed Up

Use your fingers with lots of lube to help get her warmed up. First, insert one finger only. Massage slowly and try going down on her at the same time to get her turned on. The more turned on she is, the more her vaginal muscles will relax and loosen up to get ready for insertion. Slowly insert another finger at a time until you’re up to three. Once you’re up to three fingers, ask her how it feels. Is it too tight? Does it hurt? If it feels too tight to you, it probably feels to tight or painful to her. If so, don’t try to use your penis just yet. Wait until she’s relaxed and turned on enough to feel comfortable inserting your penis. You can also use different sized toys to help introduce your partner to your large penis.

Use Lots Of Lube, Go Slow And Stop If It Hurts

Whether you’re using a large dildo or you have a large penis, using lots and lots of lube is the most important thing you can do to make taking extra length and girth easier for her. Use a good, water based lube and don’t be shy about using it. You never can have enough lube! When you begin inserting your penis into her vagina after you’ve warmed her up and gotten her relaxed, make sure you are gentle and go slow. Don’t push it in there too fast (although you might be pretty anxious to get started by now) or she could tear. Remember, women are built to give birth to babies – which are a lot larger than your penis – so don’t worry about not being able to fit it in there. You just have to make sure your partner is comfortable and enjoying it! If it starts to hurt your partner, stop immediately. It may take a few tries before your partner can really accomodate your penis size comfortably.

When Orgasms Are Dangerous… What Is Erotic Asphyxiation?

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You may have heard of erotic asphyxiation, or autoerotic asphyxiation, in the news, on television or in movies. Some crime shows and even crime fiction novels have used erotic asphyxiation themes in their storylines. But what exactly is erotic asphyxiation and why is it dangerous? Can you practice erotic asphyxiation safely?

What Is Erotic Asphyxiation?

Erotic asphyxiation is the practice of using various suffocation or choking methods to cut off blood supply to the brain, to attempt to induce feelings of dizziness, giddiness and lightheadedness. This can be done with a scarf or a rope around the neck and less commonly, with suffocation applied over the mouth and nose. These sensations are said to intensify an orgasm greatly for both men and women. Some people simply enjoy the feeling of being completely helpless during an orgasm and for others, self-endangerment is actually a turn on. Erotic asphyxiation is sometimes practiced with two people, where one partner applies suffocation to the other just before orgasm, however, autoerotic asphyxiation is more common. During autoerotic asphyxition, suffocation is applied during masturbation when a person is alone. Usually some form of slack noose is used, where a person can lean into it to create suffocation but is slack when a person is standing or sitting upright.

Why Is Erotic Asphyxiation Dangerous?

Erotic asphyxiation and autoerotic asphyxiation is extremely dangerous. Cutting off blood supply to the brain in any way, shape or form can cause brain damage at best or even death. When erotic asphyxiation is practiced with two people, you run the risk that your partner may choke you too hard or wait too long after orgasm to release you from suffocation. Your partner doesn’t know how hard to press or how long to suffocate you for, and can easily overdo it. With autoerotic asphyxiation, the risk is even greater. When you begin having an orgasm during masturbation, your body and mind lose control. You could pass out and not be able to lift yourself away from the noose or scarf you’re using, causing you to continue to suffocate and die. It is estimated that up to 1000 deaths a year occur from erotic asphyxiation in the United States alone.

Is There A Safe Way To Practice Erotic Asphyxiation?

There is absolutely no safe way to practice erotic asphyxiation or autoerotic asphyxiation. When the brain goes without oxygen for any period of time – even if it’s simply a few seconds or a minute – your brain begins the process of shutting down. If starved from oxygen long enough, the brain will shut down completely and cause brain damage and death. Regardless of whether you and your partner have a “safe” word or you think you’ll be able to stop suffocating yourself during masturbation in time, an intensified orgasm simply isn’t worth the risk of living the rest of your life as a vegetable or dying right then and there. There is no guarantee that you will come out of an erotic asphyxiation session alive or all there, no matter what you feel you’re doing to the contrary. There are a number of ways to create incredible, mind blowing orgasms without risking your life.

Q&A: BDSM and Fetishes – When Your Fantasies Don’t Line Up

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Everyone’s sexual fetishes are unique, and it’s not uncommon for two people who like very different things to be in a relationship together. Can you and your partner find sexual satisfaction together and bond sexually when you both like completely different things in the bedroom? Here’s how.

Question: I am currently going out with someone that likes BDSM and cross-dressing, some humiliation as well. The problem is as much as I love him and would like to please his every desire, I just dont seem to be able to understand the deal with BDSM or humiliation. I’m not into it. He doesn’t want me to do these things if I’m not into them. He says he loves me and doesn’t mind being with me, even if I cant seem to get into his fetishes.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS0ATAuipZo[/youtube]

Have You Tried It? You Might Like It!

If you partner has a fantasy or fetish that you don’t seem to be interested in, such as BDSM, bondage or humiliation, steering clear of these in the bedroom is going to make you more comfortable sexually. However, if you haven’t tried it with your partner, you might consider some light bondage next time you and your partner have sex. Your partner will really enjoy anything that relates to their fantasy and you might find that you like it! Don’t try anything you’re super uncomfortable with, but trying new things in the bedroom isn’t a bad idea.

Be True To Who You Are

If you’ve tried to share your partner’s fantasies and fetishes and just can’t seem to get into them, don’t force yourself to do things that you don’t like. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it and it’s important that you be true to who you are. It’s also important that your partner is true to who they are and if they like something, it’s essential not to criticize them about it. While you don’t have to be a part of it if you’re not comfortable with it, it’s important to allow your partner to be themselves. Being unable to find sexual satisfaction together because you both like different things in the bedroom may cause issues later on in your relationship but if they’re not bothering you or your partner now, relax and let it go. You can cross that bridge when (or if) you get there.

Find Fantasies That You Do Share

Try to find some fantasies that you and your partner both like. If you and your partner think you’re totally sexually incompatible together, you might be surprised that there are a few things that you both actually have in common. But you won’t know unless you try! Talk to your partner and be open and honest with them about what turns you on and what doesn’t. Listen to them openly about what they like or don’t like. Browse adult toys online, or even adult videos that might interest you both. Just because you aren’t into his fantasies doesn’t mean you can’t find something that you both really enjoy!

Q&A: How to Fix A Cheating Partner

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If you’ve ever been cheated on, you know the pain and anguish that accompanies it. The feelings of rejection and helplessness are almost unbearable, but rest assured there is something you can do to help the situation. Here’s how you can help change a cheating partner – if they’re willing to change too.

Question: How can one change a lady (or man) who cheats a lot?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHAhSSvRN3g[/youtube]

Cheating Is A Result Of A Need Not Being Met

When a partner cheats on another, it is usually because some physical or emotional need isn’t being met. Many partners have affairs because they don’t feel appreciated or feel confident and seek the approval of someone else to satisfy that need. They may not be getting enough sex or having satisfying sex, or they may want to feel in control or have repressed anger towards their partner that they’re not letting out. Either way, the one thing that is common between almost all cheaters is that they have some kind of need that they aren’t getting from their current partners. Once you begin to understand the reasons behind cheating, you can begin to move foward.

Help Make Your Relationship Better

If you want your partner to stop cheating, talk to them about it. Ask them what they need to have in your current relationship to feel satisfied and let them know you’re going to do your best to meet those needs. If it’s purely sex, ask them what you can do to make sex hotter and more satisfying for your partner. If your partner is seeking the approval of someone else, stop and think about how you’re treating your partner in the relationship. Are you putting them down? Do you criticise them often? If so, your partner may be seeking time with someone who simply dotes on them and enjoys spending time with them without the criticism. Take the time to analyze exactly what is behind your partner’s cheating, because it may not be what you think. Make the initiative to change the relationship and try to meet those needs at home, so your partner doesn’t have to look elsewhere.

Is Your Partner Willing To Change?

That said, you can only do so much to change the relationship to try to meet your partner’s needs. Your partner must have the desire to stop cheating and work on being more involved in the relationship too. They must be willing to not only change themselves, but they have to be open and honest enough to let you know what is truly causing them to cheat. If your partner simply shuts down when you try to talk to them about how to change the situation, flat out denies cheating (with substantial proof otherwise) or doesn’t desire to change their ways at all, it might be time to think about moving on. You deserve to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship with someone who is faithful to you and that takes two people to accomplish. When a partner cheats, it takes two people to fix it. Both partners have to be willing to make changes.