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Sperm, Semen and Safe Sex – What You Need To Know

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Sex education, unfortunately, is at a low nowadays. Although our society has evolved exponentially since sex was considered completely taboo – sex education is still primitive. Television shows, movies, music and even the Internet has taken sex to a completely new level, with songs about “booty calls” and nudity on prime time, but adults in this nation can’t bear to discuss more than the scant basics of sex with their youth. It’s about time somebody steps up and gives solid, useful information about every aspect of sex in an educational way so that our youth can make informed decisions about sex, oral sex and foreplay.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

My girlfriend gives me blow jobs, hand jobs, etc. Every time we play, this white sticky stuff come out, and then after a few minutes cum comes out – what is all this stuff coming out of me?

 

–Jason, TX

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9zEsXQluHY[/youtube]

Sperm, Semen and Precum

Lots of girls want to know – what’s the skinny on sperm, semen and precum? What are they?

Precum – The clear, thinnish and somewhat sticky liquid that comes out of the head of the penis in small amounts during penile stimulation before he actually ejaculates. Precum can and does contain live sperm, although in significantly smaller amounts than actual semen.

Semen – The whitish, thicker fluid that comes out of the head of the penis during ejaculation that contains millions of sperm.

 Sperm – Organisms carried within semen and precum that join with a woman’s egg to conceive a child.

 Which Of These Can Get A Girl Pregnant?

In short – all of them! Precum and semen both contain sperm. Having unprotected sex without a condom, even before the man ejaculates, can get a woman pregnant. It is better to treat a penis like a loaded gun. Many women believe that allowing a man to have intercourse with her without a condom is safe, as long as the guy pulls his penis out of her vagina before he ejaculates, and ejaculates away from her vagina. While this is safer than allowing your partner to actually ejaculate inside you, it is not a way to protect against pregnancy. Sperm can travel out of the penis pretty much at any time – allowing a condomless penis to get within the vicinity of your vagina puts you at a definite risk of getting pregnant.

Don’t chance it! Even allowing your partner to rub his penis on the outside of your vagina without a condom can transmit sperm from the penis to the vagina and there’s a reason that sperm are called “little swimmers.” They travel! For the safest type of sex, use a condom to prevent pregnancy. You can also discuss with your doctor other methods of birth control that can be used in conjunction with a condom for added protection, or in lieu of a condom if your with an STD free partner and in a completely faithful, monogamous relationship.

Which Of These Can Transmit A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

In short – all of them! Again, treat a condomless penis like a loaded gun, even more so if you’re unsure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease. To clarify, unless you have a piece of paper in your hand that says your partner has tested negative for STD’s and you’re 110% positive your partner has not had any type of sexual contact with anyone else since the test was taken, you’re unsure of whether your partner has an STD. Protect yourself. Both precum and semen can carry the HIV and AIDS virus, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases. It is important to be even more vigilant if you’re concerned about STD’s, however, because you don’t just have to worry about any fluids from your partner’s penis coming into contact with your vagina, you also have to worry about these fluids possibly coming into contact with your mouth or any open sores or cuts on your body.

For example, if you knicked yourself shaving and your partner rubs his penis up your leg without a condom, you can possibly contract an STD that way. It’s rare – yes. But possible. Be safe and get STD tested, suggest that your partner get STD tested, stay in a monogamous, faithful relationship whenever possible, and use condoms during anal sex, oral sex and vaginal intercourse any time you’re unsure. Always treat your partner’s penis as though it can get you pregnant or give you an STD because in truth – it can! That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Just be safe and smart about it!

Painful Sex – Should It Still Hurt?

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Some women experience painful sex, especially if they’re having sex for the first time. Is painful sex normal? Sometimes sex can hurt, especially if your partner is too rough, but what if sex is painful all the time? What if it never gets better? Here’s what you need to do if sex still hurts for you.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I lost my virginity over a year ago, but every time we have sex it feels like losing my virginity all over again. Should it still be hurting? Is this normal?

 

–Danielle, PA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1cIXV1hyNA&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Why Does It Hurt?

Sex can hurt for a variety of reasons. Some of them are medical, others are not. Let’s take a quick look at the medical issues that can cause sex to become painful and stay that way with no relief. There are many sexually transmitted diseases and vaginal infections that can cause sex to be painful. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are among the many STD’s that can cause vaginal discharge, odor and painful sex for a woman.

Untreated STD’s will continue causing these symptoms and they may become worse or even unbearable. Common vaginal infections, such as yeast or bacterial infections, can cause discomfort during sex with or without other symptoms. If sex has become painful for you, it is important to see your medical doctor for an exam to rule out any medical issues or infections that could be causing your discomfort. Find a doctor you are comfortable with, and don’t worry – doctors see it all! You should feel comfortable enough with your doctor to discuss your sexual habits and the reasons you might be feeling sexual discomfort – if you’re not, it’s time to find a new doctor.

Common Issues

Common issues for uncomfortable or painful sex go beyond medical issues. There are a few reasons beyond your control – and some that are within your control – that could be responsible for sex becoming and staying painful. First, your partner may be too large for you. Whether your partner is exceptionally large or not, he may be too large for your anatomy. Everyone is made differently and although vaginas are extremely accomodating, your partner’s hardware may just not match yours in a way that is comfortable for you. You also may be prone to vaginal dryness. This isn’t necessarily a medical issue, however, it can cause plenty of discomfort during sex.

What To Do

Other than seeing a medical doctor to rule out any physical issues for painful sex, you can make sure you have lots of foreplay before sex and are very, very relaxed and aroused. This will help you to make soothing vaginal secretions that will aid any vaginal dryness, as well as help your vagina to better accommodate a larger penis, if that is the case. You can also use a good, water based lubricant during sex, and try different positions that allow for less penetration if you feel that your partner may be too large for you.

No matter what, sex shouldn’t be painful, or especially continue to be painful. It should be pleasurable! Talk to your doctor to see what you can do to make sex more enjoyable for both you and your partner. Your doctor may recommend a sex therapist, after ruling out any medical conditions responsible, to better help you and your partner to find ways to make sex more enjoyable and comfortable for you.

Is Cross Dressing A Turn Off To Women?

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Cross dressing isn’t something that’s a totally foreign concept to women, but not many of them have dated a guy that likes to cross dress. Does that mean cross dressing is a turn off to women, or do some women enjoy cross dressing? Or do still other women just not mind it? Here’s what you want to know about how women feel about cross dressing dudes.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have a fetish for cross dressing. I like dressing up in sexy lingerie, but I don’t go out in public or anything. Are the any women out there who are open enough to consider this a normal part of a healthy sex life? I also like the idea of dressing up as a French maid and submitting myself to the lady of the manner….

–Jonathan, FL

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3iNZWUP9cg&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Some Like It, Some Don’t

Many women aren’t going to be turned on by men who enjoy cross dressing – it’s just fact. While some women don’t mind it, some are going to be turned off by it. That doesn’t mean you have to give up what you enjoy though! There are women who enjoy cross dressing themselves, and who enjoy being with men who like to cross dress. There’s someone for everyone, no matter what your fetish or fantasy is. You just have to find them!

Where To Look

Okay, so popping over to the bookstore might help you meet a nice girl, it’s not likely to be the best place to meet someone who either won’t mind your cross dressing or someone who might even share your fetish with you. There are, however, lots of good places online to meet people who share your interests or similar interests to yours! Browse through online dating websites or online fetish websites where you can specify your interest in cross dressing before you even meet someone. It’s refreshing to know right off the bat that someone who shows interest in you through these websites know that you enjoy cross dressing and either like it or don’t have a problem with it.

How To Tell Someone Who Doesn’t Know

What if you’re already involved with someone or are dating someone who doesn’t know that you like to cross dress but you would like to share this fetish with them? This can be a tricky situation, but it’s definitely not an impossible one. Don’t have a “sit down” talk with them. This can be uncomfortable and will put your partner on the spot, and it can be especially awkward if they don’t react to your cross dressing in the way you expected. Try introducing it slowly. Buy a silky robe and see if your partner likes the feel of it on you. Try wearing her panties to bed and see what she thinks – if she doesn’t like it, you can always play it off as having fun. If she does, visit a lingerie shop with her, and pick out fun, sexy lingerie for both of you. Sharing your cross dressing with her slowly can help warm her up to the idea, and then you can begin to share your fantasies with her!

No matter what your fetish or fantasy is, it’s important to have someone you can share it with. Don’t judge other people and don’t let them judge you – to each his own and there’s always someone out there for everybody!

Help! I Fantasize About Being A Prostitute!

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Everyone has a fantasy – some, more than others. Many people choose not to act out their fantasies, afraid that their fantasies will offend someone, or embarrass them. You can, however, act out your fantasy in a safe, fun way with your partner, making your sex life that much sweeter. How can you act out your fantasy with your partner, especially if you’re not sure that they share your fantasy?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I fantasize about being a prostitute, having sex with strangers and being naughty – having to do what the other person wants and even getting paid for it. I want to experience this fantasy with my husband, but he’s not comfortable being the ‘dominant’ one. How can we pull this off so that everyone has fun?

–Lisa, WA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0t4ZFqoLd8&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Consenting Adults Get The Green Light

When it comes to acting out a fantasy, as long as your fantasy is safe (as in, doesn’t cause anyone harm) and is between consenting adults, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to act out your fantasy and have fun! No matter what your fantasy is, if you’re not hurting anyone and everyone involved is okay with it, there’s nothing that should stop you from satisfying your deepest sexual desires and fantasies.

Sexual Compatibility

That said, many people don’t share the same fantasies and might be uncomfortable with another person’s fantasy. How can you tell if your partner is sexually compatible with you and your fantasy without putting yourself out there and risking embarrassment? The trick is not to have a “sit down” talk with your partner. Often, this can be overwhelming for a partner, especially if your fantasy is something they’ve never had any experience with before. Try introducing your partner to your fantasy slowly, by dressing in some lingerie or a costume that suits your fantasy, or even simply playing with dominant and submissive roles. If your partner shows that he or she is interested in your fantasy, or turned on by what you’re doing, try introducing a little more each time until you’re really ready to tell them about what you want to act out and what your fantasy is.

Fantasy Box

Many couples and partners use something called a “fantasy box” where they can submit their fantasies on paper in a safe and fun environment. With a fantasy box, you can write your fantasies down on a piece of paper, and slip it into the box. Every week (or however often you would like), you can pull a piece of paper out of the box and act out the fantasy. It’s fun to be spontaneous, and both you and your partner already know you’ll be acting out a fantasy, so you’ll be in a great mindset to have a good time! Some fantasies take a bit of preparation, so, it can also be fun to pull a fantasy out of the box a few weeks ahead of time and go shopping together for toys, lubes or costumes – whatever your fantasy requires!

The bottom line is, as long as your fantasy – whether it be acting out the fantasy of being a prostitute or something else – is between consenting adults, and you introduce your fantasy slowly to your partner or use a fantasy box, you can have fun indulging in your sexual desires and grow closer to your partner.

Will Daily Masturbation Affect Puberty?

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Many teenagers have this very question – is masturbation wrong? Does it affect puberty? Will masturbating daily – or masturbating at all – cause health problems? What is the truth when it comes to masturbation?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Is daily masturbation going to halt, alter or harm my progress through puberty? If so, how drastic is it and how long would I have had to been masturbating daily for it to have an effect?

–Anonymous

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdfwo1jHYlk&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Old Wives Tales

You might have heard that masturbation can make you go blind. Or it might give you hairy palms, or even make you need glasses. There’s not one bit of truth to any of these claims – in fact, there are no medical problems that are caused by masturbation, even daily masturbation. In fact, masturbation is healthy for both men and women of all ages, especially those going through puberty. The extra hormones produced by your body during puberty cause you to want to satisfy your new sexual needs and urges, and it’s completely natural to do so. Masturbation is a healthy and not to mention safe way to satisfy those desires without worrying about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Unfortunately, sex ed in this country is at a low – many adults are afraid to talk to their children about sex and masturbation, so children and teenagers growing up thinking masturbation is wrong and they’re “dirty” for doing it. Grow up people! Masturbation is healthy, safe and a natural way to satisfy those new desires that come with puberty.

How Much Is Too Much?

That said, it is possible that a person – teenager, adult, man or woman – can masturbate too much. Medically speaking, not so much. But what about when it starts interfering with your daily life? What happens if you’re making time in your day for masturbation (instead of just letting it happen naturally and satisfying the desire when it comes along and is convenient) or you’re masturbating 3 or 4 times a day? That’s when it starts crossing the line – and it’s not just masturbation. It can be anything, including television, books, video games or chat rooms. If you find that your daily life is being interrupted by these things – masturbation included – it might be a borderline obsession or addiction that you need to keep in check. Don’t be afraid to talk to a doctor or counselor if you find that you’re masturbating too much – with therapy, they can help you to find other outlets for your stress and extra sexual desires so you don’t feel the need to masturbate so much that it interferes with your daily life.

All in all, masturbation has no bearing on personal growth, puberty or your body at all medically and can, in fact, be healthy for you. We live in the era of the Internet, so don’t be afraid to Google masturbation and find out some good facts for yourself. Look them up on credible websites and keep an eye out for anything that sounds fishy – such as masturbation causing you to have leprosy. Even though the sex ed in this country is lacking, that doesn’t mean you can’t take the initiative to educate yourself! Be safe, smart and informed!