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How To Put On A Condom

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Whether it’s your first time or your three hundredth time, putting on a condom the correct way might still prove elusive to you. How do you put on a condom safely, how do you make sure the condom is still good and how do you take it off correctly to avoid spillage? Here’s answers to your questions, and more!

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

I’m a first time condom wearer – I want to be safe, but how do I put one on the right way? It seems harder than it should be! Do you have any tips?

–Terry, Washington

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izVeeG5nBp8&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Checking Your Condom

First, keep your condoms in a cool, dry place. Condoms that are kept in glove compartments, wallets and back pockets can break down more easily than condoms that are kept in a drawer or another safe place. Before opening your condom, make sure the condom hasn’t passed its expiration date – yes, condoms can expire! Open your condom gently to make sure you’re tearing only the package (not the condom) and check it for consistency. Make sure if it’s a lubricated condom that the lube is still moist, and make sure your condom is still in good, working condition. If it seems like your condom might not be ready to go, throw it out and get a new one!

Putting Your Condom On

You might want to put your condom on in a lighted situation – putting on a condom in complete darkness can lead you to possibly put it on the wrong way. Grab the built in reservoir on the top and roll the condom slowly down the penis, making sure that all of the air bubbles are worked out of the condom before you start. To avoid fluid contamination, be sure that both your hands and penis are clean before putting on a condom. Be very careful that no fluid from the penis gets on the outside of the condom before you begin intercourse, as this may lead to sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Removing Your Condom

When you’re ready to remove your condom, pull your penis out slowly while gripping the base of the condom to avoid spilling any seminal fluid that is inside the condom. Turn completely away from your partner before removing it, and slowly roll the condom back up the penis while making sure that the seminal fluid stays in the built in reservoir. Take your used condom, wrap it in tissue and throw it away properly – they don’t flush! Wash your hands and penis thoroughly with soap and water before touching your partner again.

Tips And Pointers

If a condom breaks, pull out immediately and remove the condom, washing thoroughly before putting on another one. Make sure your condom fits properly – if it’s not snug, or there are air bubbles or it seems too loose, your condom might be too big and you may need to choose a smaller size. It can also be dangerous if your condom is too small or too tight – if the ring around the base of the condom doesn’t go all the way to the base of your penis, the condom isn’t the right size for you. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different types of condoms until you find the right one for you!

Condoms 101: How To Buy A Condom

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If you’ve made the decision to have safe sex with your partner – and good for you – it can still be intimidating to purchase a condom. There are so many options available when it comes to condoms, with different sizes, flavors and textures to suit almost anyone’s needs. So where do you start?

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

I want to have safe sex with my partner, but what kind of condom do I get? There are so many different types, how do I know which one is for me?

–Terrence, New Jersey

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7B2DFBlpaQ&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Fun And Flavored

If you’re looking to have great sex while still being safe at the same time, you don’t have to purchase the traditional, latex-smelling condoms. Many different condom manufacturers make flavored and colored condoms that both taste and smell good, so you can have both fun and safety. Great flavors include vanilla, chocolate and mint and some condoms are even glow in the dark if you want to bring a little something extra to the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different colors and flavors to find the one you like best.

Different Materials

Condoms don’t come in latex only versions. There are actually quite a few people that are allergic to latex, so condom manufacturers had to create condoms that would be safe and effective without causing allergic reactions in some individuals. Polyurethane – a type of plastic – is a good option if you’re allergic to latex, with the exception that it doesn’t have as much “stretchy” give as a traditional latex condom. Lambskin condoms are also a choice for people allergic to latex, but they’re only effective at preventing pregnancy – they’re too porous to protect against sexually transmitted diseases.

What’s Your Size?

Condoms also come in a variety of sizes, and it can be difficult for a man to find out what size he needs. Many men feel they need a bigger condom than they really do, because almost 90% of the male population can wear a regular sized condom well. If you feel that a regular sized condom is too tight or too small, you can purchase larger sizes that might be more comfortable.

Texture, Texture, Texture

Many condoms are available in ribbed and studded varieties, helping to increase the friction between the man and the woman during intercourse, and can help increase pleasure for both partners.

Female Condoms

Ladies can also protect themselves with the female variety of condoms, although they’re not as effective as traditional male latex condoms. Unfortunately, although a female condom is a safer choice than nothing at all, it can feel a bit like having intercourse with a grocery bag inside of you.

Choosing condoms can be challenging, but it’s important to have fun with it and not be embarrassed about it! Try different types and varieties of condoms until you find the one that works best for you and your partner, and don’t be afraid to try new ones now and again. There are lots of places online to purchase a variety of condoms, or you can always stop by your local convenience store if you’re in a hurry. It’s always better to be safe than sorry!

Do I Really Need To Wear A Condom?

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Whether you’re new to sex or not, you might wonder if you really need a condom. You’ve heard they protect you and protect your partner, but do you really need a condom when you’re having intercourse, or is it all just hype? Are the condom companies raking in millions for no reason or is wearing a condom really the smartest way to go? 

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about condoms and some people say you don’t need them and that you can just pull out. What’s the truth – should I really wear a condom or is it all just rumor?

–Ted, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev5wZV68D5Y&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Do I Need A Condom?

Yes! Condoms can help prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. While animal skin condoms are too porous to prevent STD’s, they’re still effective at preventing pregnancy and traditional latex and plastic condoms are even better. What if your partner is on birth control? Do you still need to wear a condom? Yes! Birth control is effective, but can be made less effective by taking it incorrectly, taking antibiotics or being ill. When coupling condoms with birth control, you are doubly protecting you and your partner against pregnancy as well as preventing the spread and contraction of sexually transmitted diseases.

But I Don’t Like The Way It Feels

Just because a condom might decrease the sensitivity experienced during intercourse a little is no reason not to protect you and your partner. You can still have a lot of fun with condoms – especially flavored ones and those with warming lubricant – and still have a satisfying sex life while staying safe. For some men, condoms are an excellent way to help prevent premature ejaculation. If you tend to “go” too quickly, wearing a condom might help you last longer and some are even available with desensitizing gel or cream that will help you to keep from ejaculating too quickly.

But I’m Embarrassed To Buy Them

Don’t be! If you’re buying condoms, it means you’re having sex. That’s a good thing, right? You can buy condoms at any drug store, supermarket or convenience store and they’re incredibly inexpensive. If you’d like more privacy while purchasing your condoms or would like a wider variety of condoms to choose from, there are many online stores that offer flavored, glow in the dark, colored and other types of condoms that you and your partner can really have a lot of fun with! If you purchase your condoms online, they’ll come to you in discreet packaging and no one will know but you! In reality though, there’s nothing wrong with purchasing condoms from your grocery store, a gas station or even online – it means that you’re being safe and you’re getting ready to have a great time.

All in all, it’s important to be safe – it’s always better being safe than sorry, right? Don’t have sex without a condom – you might be in your doctor’s office getting a positive result on an STD test or finding out that your partner is pregnant, wishing you would have simply put one on in the first place. Have fun with condoms and be safe, and don’t be afraid to experiment with condoms and make them a part of your sexual routine instead of a nuisance!

I Think I Moved In With Him Too Soon. What Should I Do?

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It happens to a lot of people. You take that big plunge and move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend only to find out later that you might have moved in with them too soon, before really letting your relationship grow.

What do you do? How do you turn back time?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi. I haven’t been with my boyfriend for very long (less than 1 year) and I moved in with him at the beginning of this year. I feel I moved in way too soon. I think it’s just not right for me and I would like to break up with him. It’s harder to do though because I live in his house. Any ideas on how to break up with him and how I should do it and what to do about my living situation?

–Jessica, Maryland

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8af1VRFEg4[/youtube]

Moving Out Or Breaking Up?

Okay, so you’re ready to move out. That much is clear. But are you ready to break up? You might have thought the two go hand in hand since you made this big step forward, but that is not necessarily true. Sit down and think about what you really want.

Do you want to continue to have a romantic relationship with your partner, or would you like to part as friends? Do you simply want to go back to the way it was before you moved in with them? Those are all very valid wants and you should definitely try to express those to your partner. Be honest with them about what you want to see happen and why.

Give them a chance to vent their feelings as well. The most important thing is to take a deep breath and relax. Sometimes you have to try something to figure out it won’t work!

Being Financially Sound

Before you talk to your partner about your living arrangements, it’s important that you get an alternative living arrangement set up for yourself on the off chance that your partner becomes angry or hostile and asks that you leave immediately.

You might need to go apartment hunting on your own, however, if you and your partner are both living in an apartment or house that you would not be able to afford were it not for the other’s contribution, it’s important that you are up front and honest with them from the beginning so they have the opportunity to find alternative living arrangements as well.

Taking these steps might seem scary, especially if you’re financially dependent on your partner, but think about what you were doing before you moved in with them.

Going Back to the Beginning

Whether you were living on your own or living with a friend or family member, that might be your easiest option.

Going back to the way things were before you moved in with your partner might be something you do quite literally! If that is not an option, it’s time to get yourself on your feet and financially sound enough that you can get your own place and have your own transportation.

Take whatever steps you need to so you can ensure you’re able to live on your own when you move out from your partner.

You might be having some emotional issues as well, especially considering that you just moved in with your partner and you’re regretting your decision. Take a moment to really think about what led you to that decision.

You’ll probably find that you still wouldn’t do things differently! Not everything works out the way you think it will and often you have to find that out after you try it. It’s not a fun situation to be in, but if you are open and honest with your partner about your feelings, you might end up being able to continue dating or stay friends.

Do Online, Virtual Relationships Really Work?

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In the world of online dating, it’s easy to build relationships with people that you’ve never met.

You get all the benefits of having a relationship with someone, but without the negatives that inherently come with a real-life relationship, for example, your online boyfriend will never leave the toilet seat up and your online girlfriend will never decorate your bachelor pad with floral prints.

But are online relationships really all they’re cracked up to be?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I’ve seen some of your videos and you guys seem to give some good advice. Maybe you can help me. I’ve been in an online relationship with a girl for around 3 years. We are planning to meet this summer… But for last couple weeks we’ve been having some problems. She’s been talking to this other guy a lot online and I’ve asked her about it and she says that he’s only a “good” friend. (She has cheated on me in the past). I love her, and she says she loves me but I don’t know what to do. She never wants to talk about it. If you can give me some advice I’d really appreciate it.

–Tom, Illinois

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y_45fH72qU[/youtube]

The Positives

Online dating definitely has it’s pluses. You can meet tons of great people who really share the same interests you do, and you can find them quickly and easily with just a few clicks of your computer mouse. Online dating is a great way to safely meet people and get to know them a little bit without some of the awkwardness that often follows a real life introduction.

In reality, however, online dating is better served as simply “online introductions.” You can use an online dating website to your advantage to meet like minded people who you would enjoy spending time with, but often times virtual dating won’t get you very far.

The Negatives

Sure, online dating websites have their perks, there’s no doubt about that. But having an online, virtual relationship? That’s definitely harder than it sounds. People were designed to be social creatures.

Humans crave being around other humans, and we all crave another human’s touch. Unfortunately, that’s the one thing that online dating websites can’t provide – physical contact and a real life relationship with another human being.

While many people spend months or even years developing these long distance, virtual relationships with people, these relationships are often lacking a lot. First off, you definitely don’t get the physical intimacy that you need, and we’re not just talking about sex here. Second, it’s really impossible to get to know everything about someone online.

Filling in the Blanks

While you think you might know your online boyfriend or girlfriend pretty well, chances are, your mind has filled in a lot of the gaps. This actually happens a lot!

When your mind fills in the gaps when getting to know someone online, you actually end up having a relationship with someone who you really don’t know; someone you’ve really helped to shape in your mind. This usually leads to disappointments later on in the relationship.

What You Can Do

Use online dating websites to your advantage; as online introductions. Get to know someone a little bit, and then take that next step to meet them in real life. Look for people who you could possibly develop a real relationship with, such as people that share the same interests as you and who live in your general area.

That way, you can really immerse yourself in the dating world and find the person who is right for you. As tempting as it can be to keep emailing someone, or even talking to them on the phone, realizing that an actual, physical, real life relationship is necessary for it to last is a crucial step in making online dating really work for you.