Dating Tips – Page 46

Tips for Dating a Cheapskate

Is your guy so cheap he squeaks when he walks? Is your girl so thrifty she uses tea bags thrice? I feel your pain.

I too was a long-suffering companion of a date who felt that a root canal was preferable to spending money.

Allow me to introduce him. We’ll call him Rob. (I’ll call him the most miserly, tightfisted Scrooge to ever walk the face of the planet.) Let’s have a look at some of Rob’s endearingly frugal ways, penny-pinching behavior that bought our relationship to an untimely end.

Restaurant dates were for special occasions only. Lucky me, my birthday counted as special enough to warrant forking out the cash for dinner. But tightwad Rob would insist that we order main courses only — no dessert or starters. And he would hound the wait staff to replenish our bread, which he then wrapped in a napkin and stuffed in his jacket pocket. For breakfast.

On the rare occasion we would stay in a hotel (usually when someone else, such as my work, was paying) he’d load up on all the toiletries from the bathroom and then call housekeeping to replace them. This would go on every day during the stay and we’d depart with a suitcase full of crappy miniature shampoos.

Sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve got your own special brand of skinflint in your life who is forever calculating the cost of things, bemoaning spending money on things that aren’t considered essential or practical and basically ruining the romance by being so damn cheap.

How do you get your stingy date to see that splashing the cash now and then isn’t such a bad thing? Our tips will help your prize open his steel-trap wallet or loosen her purse strings — if only for a moment.

Pay Your Way

The classic cheapskate hates the idea of spending good money on food in restaurants when you can cook for yourself at home. True but not very romantic. Tightwads, particularly guys, are wary of restaurant dates because they feel the onus is on them to pay. Put your Scrooge’s mind at ease by offering to split the cost of eating out and letting them choose a restaurant with prices they are comfortable with — and no, McDonald’s doesn’t count as a date-worthy restaurant.

Discount Vouchers

There’s nothing the money minder loves more than discount coupons. Use these to your advantage by collecting as many offers and two-for-one deals as you can, then when you next want to see a movie or go to an exhibition and your honey whines that it costs too much money, you can whip out one of these babies and show them that you’re actually saving them money. Watch their little eyes light up as they do the math. Then sit back and enjoy your date.

Flower Power

Love having the odd bunch of flowers to brighten your day but your date is too stingy to spring for the occasional bouquet? To be fair, florists can get pretty expensive, with some retailers charging for flowers by the single stem and bouquets costing more than your weekly grocery bill. Instead of fighting a losing battle with your lovable miser, take matters into your own hands and steer them towards a local growers’ markets where garden-fresh blooms can be had for a fraction of the retail price.

Note to Cheapskates: If cut flowers seem like a waste of money to you (they only wither and die, moneygrubbers protest), buy your loved one a potted plant instead. You’ll win big points for your romantic gesture and you get to keep your wallet firmly closed for many months to come since potted plants last well past their cut-flower counterparts.

Speak their Language

Penny-pinchers watch their spending like the proverbial hawk and know exactly how much money is in their wallets at any given time, and you know it’s going to take something pretty special for them to cough up for something they see as an unnecessary purchase or expense. Show your date that you care about saving money.

For example, on Sunday morning, have breakfast at home: Two coffees, orange juices, scrambled eggs on toast, the morning newspaper, some sliced fruit. After your breakfast, lean over and whisper to your cheapskate date, “Honey, we just saved $40 dollars eating breakfast at home this morning.” This is music to their stingy little ears. Follow this up by purring “Now we can afford to see a movie this afternoon, aren’t we clever?” Try it. It’s like feeding candy to a baby.

Now if you can just rustle up some discount vouchers for the cinema, you just might be able to wrench a serving of popcorn out of them, too.

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Would You Date Someone Who’s Been Married Multiple Times? Here’s Why You Should…

By lisaquirke

It finally happened. You met someone you really like. There seems to be a connection, you have a great timetogether, and you think that maybe it’s time to take the relationship to the next level.

And then it happens. She tells you she’s been married four times. Yes, four.

So, what do you do?

Run for hills? Head to the little boy’s room never to return? Make your excuses and then “lose” her phone number?

Or do you grow up and little bit and give her the benefit of the doubt?

The cold, hard truth

The truth is she’s not a serial rapist or a serial killer or even necessarily a serial bride. She’s a woman who made some choices that didn’t quite pan out. Granted they may have been bad ones. I’ll give you that and thenask you this. So what?

There are actually a couple of things to think about here. First of all, haven’t you been in relationships that didn’t work out? How many? Uh huh, that’s what I thought. The only difference is she married them; you didn’t. Maybe she’ll judge you and consider you someone who has commitment issues based on that. Hmmm.

Relationships, and marriages, fail for many reasons. There may have been an abuse issue, an alcohol or drug issue, a control issue, or maybe even a death. Sadly, in today’s world these things happen way too often.

And remember, it takes more courage and heart to leave an abusive or alcoholic relationship than to stay in one.

Secondly, are you the same person you were 20 years ago? 10? Even 5? Do you make decisions the same way now as you did in the past? Have your values and maturity levels changed?

As we grow and mature, we gain experiences, both good and bad, that shape us into the people we are today. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and we move on tomake more decisions.

Think of it this way. When you’re dating in your 30s and 40s, you’ve been through some crap. Unless you’ve been locked in a closet for 30 or 40 years, you’ve done some things and made some choices that were less than stellar.

Do you want to be judged on the basis of just those choices?…

Slow learners

The thing is that some of us are just slow learners. It sometimes takes more than one bad decision for us to learn the lesson.

Life, however, making sure we eventually get it, has a way of giving us the same ones over and over until we finally do learn it.

And so we fall for the same wrong kind of guy again and again. At some point though that proverbial light bulb comes on and we finally get it. It’s at that point that growth occurs. Thatwe figure out not only where we’ve been going wrong, but why.

Very probably we begin to look back over our lives and make some realizations.Maybe growing up we didn’t feel loved and valued by our parents. Maybe we made one huge whopper of a mistake that made us come to the conclusion that we weren’t deserving or worthy of love.

Now, all those failed marriages begin to make sense. We figure out what it was we were looking for in those bad relationships and we realize that we have to find that within ourselves.

Why she’s not a bad risk

Guys, this makes someone a good risk, not a bad one. What you have stumbled onto here is a woman who knows herself inside and out. She knows what she wants in a relationship and, more importantly, what she doesn’t. She is now capable of creating a loving, nurturing, caring relationship.

She comes from a place other women have never been and she has learned things other women never will.

The thing is this. Those things, those decisions made her the person she is today. I know that the person I am would not exist otherwise.

And the person I am today is one helluva catch. The lucky man who discovers and accepts who I am on every level, is in for a lifetime of love like he never imagined.

Chances are she’s one helluva catch too. Are you willing to let her get awaybecause of your preconceived notions of who she ought to be?

5 First Date Mistakes Men Make That End In Heartbreak – And How You Can Avoid Them

By loveandsex

Let’s face it you never get a second chance to make a first impression!

That’s why, if you want to take things further with a woman, you need to show her your best on the very first date.

And in actual fact, there are 5 things that men consistently do on first dates that totally destroy their chances of seeing the woman again, and the worst part is they think they’re doing it right!

Avoid the following 5 mistakes to increase your chances of fun and creative date ideas:

Mistake #1: Buying gifts

Bringing chocolate or flowers on a first date isn’t the best idea – especially if you’ve just met the woman! She’s there to get to know YOU. Women are always asking themselves “what does THAT mean?” And in this case it’s, “He bought me flowers because he likes me, but he doesn’t even know anything about me yet! A little suspicious.

Mistake #2: Being Mr. Serious

When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they won’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously.

Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their only chance with the girl of their dreams, they try and play the safe side, which results in a “Mr. Serious.”

Mistake #3: Conducting an Interview

When men become “Mr. Serious” they often fall into “job interview conversation mode.” Make sure you reserve questions like, “So where do you work?” or “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” for the future, after you’ve already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff.

Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you’ve known each other for years (as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.) Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.

Mistake #4: Being too needy and direct

Without realizing it, many guys turn their dates off by trying a little too hard. For example: Men will lean into a woman’s personal space, and ask, “so do you like me?” or constantly change his opinion to seek her approval and make her like him. Big mistake.

Ironically, it’s leaning back, staying cool and calm, being a little cheeky, interesting, mysterious and comfortable with yourself that actually gets a woman’s attention and keeps her interested.

Mistake #5: Going to boring places

If your date finds the night boring, you’re finished. When it comes to having fun on first dates, nothing is more important than what you do. And while dinners and movies are nice, it’s really hard to leave a great impression in these settings. Why? Because they set a very “proper tone” that’s hard to turn into fun and playful.

And unless you’re a super funny, intelligent and interesting guy, dinner and movie dates just aren’t the best place to take your date. Instead, go to fun places like mini-golf parks, carnivals, parks, or even better, come up with your own unique and fun ideas.

So in essence, while there are many factors to having a successful date, a great date idea really helps you do many of them naturally! Remember, where you take a woman on a first date can be the difference between a great night and a dating disaster! Choose wisely!

Are You Undateable?

By lisaquirke

Recently I met a man online. We exchanged a few emails and I began to think that maybe, just maybe, he had dating potential.

A few emails later, he disclosed that he is currently living with his ex. Not because they are involved, but because he can’t afford to live on his own.

And besides, this way he gets to be with his son, but it does make it hard to date.

Trying hard not to judge, I agreed to a meeting which he canceled due to a work obligation. Okay, no problem. We’ll just do it another time.

Then he invited me to a movie matinee. Hmm….could be fun. The next email said he’d have to let me know. He needed to check his finances. And, big surprise, he canceled.

The next thing he suggested was that I come to meet him. At his home. With his 2-year-old son present. His ex wouldn’t be there, but he was really unable to afford the gas to come to me.

Really? By this time, I was completely turned off.

So, step by step what’s the problem here?

It’s not about money

Before you call me shallow, let me just say this is not at all about how much money the man makes or what kind of car he drives. I’m not a gold digger and I’m not looking for someone to support me. I can do that all by myself thank you very much.

But really if he can’t even afford the gas to drive 30 miles to meet me, there’s more wrong here than just his income.

In one email conversation he went on and on about how he needed to go back to college to finish his education and make some money. Yet, he still hasn’t done so and seems to only want to give the idea lip service.

Can you say lack of motivation? Lack of goals? How is that attractive?

Ummm…he lives with the ex?

How in the world is a man who lives with his ex in a position to become involved with someone else? She gave him a place to stay when he needed one and he gets to be with his son. Well, isn’t that just fabulous? I’d say girlfriend isn’t stupid.

She gets someone to help with the bills and a built in babysitter. She did him a favor? I think not.

I get that it’s important for him to be with his son. In fact, he gets points for that. However, this is really not the place for a man who professes to want to find a long term partner to be in. I mean seriously, what woman wants to date a man who can’t even take her back to his place for a romantic evening? Not this one.

And then there are the children

I don’t know about you but a man who suggests a first meet with his 2-year-old son present, worries me just a bit. Oh and did I mention that he planned to bring his 8-year-old daughter to the matinee date?

Most single parents understand that introducing the children right away is not a good plan. Children of single and divorced parents are often vulnerable. Introducing them to someone you don’t know or who may or may not become a part of their lives is just irresponsible. Not to mention, it’s just bad parenting.

Bottom line

Be in a position to date. Period. The dating pool is full of deadbeats and losers. If you’re going to get the girl, you need to be attractive to the girl.

Have something to offer. Be the guy that every girl wants to be with. Get your priorities in line and learn what attracts women. Then be that!

How to get there from here

Go to school. Yes, college is expensive. Motivation and drive, on the other hand, are girl magnets. I want a guy who knows what he wants in life and knows how to get it. Get a student loan, get a grant, get a move on dude!

Ditch the ex. So you’re working your butt off and now you’re back in college, good for you. Money is tight, apartments are expensive. Uh huh. So what? Get a roommate or rent a studio apartment. To get the girl, you need your own space.

Your night with the kids? Fabulous. Women love men who love their children. So wait for another night for your date. Find someone who wants to trade babysitting. Doesn’t cost you a dime that way. Putting your children’s needs first attracts women like crazy.

And seriously

Dating is hard enough. As the old saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince. Don’t make it more difficult by being the guy no girl in her right mind would go out with.

How to Meet Women in Coffee Shops

By josephmatthews

Going to get coffee is almost as much of a staple of human behavior as going to the grocery store. With a Starbucks on almost every corner (and an independent coffee shop on the corners not occupied by Starbucks), coffee beverages are everywhere.

Gone are the days when people would ask “what’s a cappuccino” These days people argue over what ingredients are supposed to be in a Macchiato and which ingredients are not.

Since you probably spend a good portion of your day waiting in line at your local coffee shop, you have probably spent some time thinking about whether or not it is a place in which you can meet women. Here is the good news: It is possible to meet women in coffee shops!

It is even possible to meet women in coffee shops and get them to meet you again—in someplace that doesn’t smell like Sumatra. Here are some tips to help you meet women in coffee shops.

Be Gracious

If she is having trouble deciding what to order from the menu and turns to apologize, always be gracious. She is probably feeling very embarrassed. If she is truly sorry you can offer to help her decide what to order. Sentences like “I come here all the time, what were you thinking of ordering? I can tell you if it’s good or not,” are good openers.

This can work in the opposite situation. If you can’t make up your mind, you can ask the woman behind you what kind of coffee drinks she likes and then you have the bonus option of buying her coffee “to make up for taking so long to decide.

Be Cautious

If she is alone and reading or writing in a journal, approach with caution. People like to do these things without being interrupted, even if they are in the middle of a busy and noisy coffee shop. This rule can be voided if there aren’t any empty tables to claim for yourself.

If she looks up from her book a lot, a good way to meet her is to ask what she is reading and what she thinks of it. Be honest when she asks if you have read it or have read other books like it. Lying about what you read will come back and bite you later.

Be Polite

When you are standing next to a woman at the sugar stand, you can ask her to pass you something—you can easily play it off as being polite—you didn’t want to get in her way. Politeness goes a long way with women. The same is true for if she is reaching for something closer to your side of the stand. Grab it for her with a simple “here you go.” And the conversation can go from there.

Be Bold

If you are feeling bold, you can always sit down next to her table and if she is having a conversation with someone, you can interject your own opinion and then join in the conversation. This is something with which you should be cautious.

Not all groups of people are going to want to open up their conversation to the person at the next table, and if she is with a group of women, you need to be extra careful.

Be Helpful

If you are walking toward the trash can or the bussing station with your coffee cup, walk past her table and offer to take her empty coffee cup up with yours. Then, when you go back by her table, you can pause for a chat.

Be Complimentary

If the woman you want to talk to is working at the coffee shop as the Barista, always compliment her on the coffee—even if she just poured it from a carafe. This simple compliment when followed by a thank you will go a long way.

If you are shy, you can make a habit of going to that coffee shop while she is working. Eventually you will be familiar enough with each other that a conversation will happen all on its own. Toe this line carefully, though. The line between “fun regular customer” and “creepy stalker guy” is a fine one and easy to cross.

Coffee shops can be intimidating places, even for men who are not trying to meet women there. The good news is it is possible to meet women in a coffee shop. You just have to be a little bit creative and a lot brave and, in many cases, you have to initiate the conversation.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthews’ free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.