Singles & Dating

Online Dating Profile: Anatomy Of A Great Opening Paragraph

Wouldn’t it be great if people read your entire profile simply out of respect for the effort you put into it?

The sad truth about profiles

Sadly, this is the opposite of reality. The truth is, people rarely read all the way through your profile before deciding to move on. The second they get bored, they close it and skip to the next person… usually before the end of the first paragraph!

So, is not reading the whole profile the fault of the reader for not having a great attention span? No. It is the fault of the writer for not hooking them in the first paragraph!

The opening hook

Most online daters fail to appreciate the importance of the “opening paragraph hook.” This is a critical tool in any writing, but especially in online dating profiles, where you must get your reader, man or woman, to become involved in your profile enough to want to see it all the way through.

Your first paragraph is absolutely the most critical in your profile. It sets the tone for your entire piece. It hooks the reader. It gets them curious, and makes them want to read more.

Consider this… when you pick up a magazine or newspaper and start reading an article, if you get bored during the first paragraph, how much more do you usually read? NONE OF IT. And that’s exactly what’s happening with the people reading your profile, they aren’t getting hooked and are wandering off.

How to lose their attention

Want to know one of the best things you can write to lose their attention immediately?

Try this:

“I hate writing these. It’s so hard to describe everything about yourself in words. Each time I do I feel I never come close enough to who I really am. Oh well, I guess I have to put something, so here it goes.”

In this common and pessimistic paragraph, you are telling the reader that you are uncreative, lacking personal insight, and just as average as every other online dater out there who starts their profile the same way. This is a bad way to kick off your profile!

How about this one…

“I’m smart, funny, confident and outgoing. I’m looking for someone who likes to have a good time, laugh, hang out, and travel. Most of the sports I enjoy are outdoors. I like to hike, ski, go camping and rollerblade in the park.”

Why is this bad? Because there are at least 100,000 profiles on every dating site that start almost exactly the same way. They all turn into a blur and vanish from the reader’s memory as soon as they move on. Besides being a list of adjectives and hobbies (which is boring) there is no spark, no connection, no uniqueness to this paragraph at all.

What makes a good opener?

So, what makes a good opening paragraph? Here’s one of my favorites.

Headline:

“I used to play guitar for KISS”

Profile:

“Yes, I used to play guitar for KISS… Sure, it was in my parent’s back yard, my guitar was a broom and my best friend played some upturned trash cans for a drum set… but man did we rock the neighborhood. I never did make it into KISS or any other band, but I’m still in love with the guitar… and my best friend became a garbage man!
Now a little more about me…”

This WILL get someone to keep reading your profile! It’s unique, funny, filled with images, and is something a lot of people can relate to from their childhood. Unfortunately, you can’t just copy this one, as you have to create something congruent with who you are, in order to portray an accurate version of yourself.

While it is important to open your paragraph with something that is absolutely unique to you, but displays strong value to the reader, the real key is to make a CONNECTION. Combine both uniqueness of your topic and a healthy dose of your personality, and make the reader feel like they aren’t just skimming a profile, but having a face to face conversation about your life!

The profile itself

Now go look at your online dating profile. Ask yourself… is there anything really exciting and unusual about my opening paragraph? Is this something someone would get really excited about reading? If in doubt, ask some friends of the opposite sex. If the answer isn’t an enthusiastic 100% two thumbs up… it’s time to hit the keyboard for a rewrite.

Happy dating!

Online Dating: 10 Ways To Avoid Stalkers and Assorted Nutcases

By publicrecordssearch

With the fast pace of daily life, many people are looking for a more efficient way of doing everything—including dating. More and more people are turning to the internet as a way of meeting prospective partners.

Though online dating may be helpful, it also comes with its own set of risks. Follow these tips to protect yourself while seeking out love online.

1. Avoid Free Dating Sites

While free sites may save you money, they’ll probably cost you time and can even jeopardize your safety. These sites don’t run background checks on individuals to weed out would-be fakers and scammers.

This means you’ll have to sift through endless profiles while trying to use your best judgment as to whether Roger or Michael look like people more interested in stealing your money than stealing your heart.

Also, people who pay for dating services are more likely to be seriously interested in building a relationship, rather than looking for a minimally committed, casual relationship, so if true love is your goal, isn’t that worth a few bucks?

2. Limit the Amount of Information You Provide

Resist the urge to tell your life story, listing everything from your occupation to your first dog named Cuddles. This is not only annoying – it’s also dangerous.

With today’s technology, all anyone needs is something as simple as your home phone number or last name to figure out things like your address and income information. Now’s the chance to play the role you’ve always wanted to: the mysterious temptress.

3. Use an Anonymous E-mail Address

Your best bet is to set up an email account you use solely for internet dating and make sure not to include specific identifying information in the address itself. SoccerFan123 works better than JaneDoefromChicago. For regular mail, set up a P.O. Box.

4. Be Honest

While you don’t want to provide too much information about yourself, you also shouldn’t lie. Don’t set up false expectations by concealing the truth. This will only lead to resentment later. For dating both online and off, honesty is your best policy.

5. Do Your Own Research

Though the paid dating sites run background checks on users, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do one of your own, if not just for peace of mind. See what you can learn about your date from Google.

Many sites also offer an online background check for a fee. These services can search for things like an individual’s marriage records, providing you with even more information about your date before you even meet them.

Obtaining a marriage record could be the key difference between respectfully walking away and becoming the Other Woman. Don’t think this could happen to you?

It has been reported that nearly 1/3 of men found on online dating sites are already married.

6. Scrutinize Dating Profiles

When dating online, the first thing you learn about someone is what they provide on their personal dating profile. Start here to look for obvious signs of fraud. If the profile is too generic or shares little to no information, it’s possible that it’s just an avatar for a scam artist.

7. Meet in a Public Place

When meeting someone for the first time, stick to public places and use your own transportation. This way, you can leave when you want to and the person you’re meeting won’t know your home address. And it’s always good to have an escape plan.

This will come in handy even if your date’s offense is just his insistence on describing his stamp collection. Since this is a no-brainer for safe online dating, you can rest assured that anyone wishing to meet in private for the first time does not have your love and affection as their first priority.

8. Ask for a Recent Photo

Getting a picture of your potential date will help you figure out if you’d like to meet with them. It will also help you figure out whether or not they’re hiding something. Do some research and make sure that the pictures they do provide are not stolen copyrighted material.

It helps to ask for more than one picture to make sure that they are not posing as someone else. Do they refuse to send a picture or repeatedly make excuses not to? Move on.

9. Be Wary of Someone Who Falls Too Quickly

While having someone fall head over heels in love with you may be flattering, remember that you still barely know this person. They may try to gain your trust through flattery, only to abuse it by asking for money or complaining about their dire financial situation.

This is not to say you must live a cynical and loveless existence; you don’t need to practice avoiding anyone who smiles in your direction or says that you look nice for fear that they’re after your wallet. Just be careful and keep your eyes open, no matter how amorous your date appears.

10. Trust Your Gut

If someone makes you uncomfortable or sends up too many red flags, stop communicating with this person. Like in all aspects of life, online dating requires listening to your instincts.

These safety tips are essential for anyone who decides to embark on an online dating journey. For every success, there are multiple failures.

But, if you enter with a safety conscious attitude, your honesty and diligence just might pay off because, hey, it only takes one prince to make weeding through all of those frogs worth the effort.

Find out quickly and discreetly what your newfound online (or offline) love is hiding with a 100% confidential Public Records Search. Try it for yourself, you may be surprised what you find out…

Are You Dating Mr. Or Mrs. Maybe? Stop It Already!

By scotemilymckay

I’m not sure where exactly it happened.

But somewhere along the way our culture decided that “dating” was synonymous with “having sex”. At the very least it’s viewed as such in the narrow minds of enough of the general population to keep tons of self-conscious people all over the fruited plain from dating more than one person at a time.

Why we’re dating one person at a time

And if that’s the prevailing mindset, the way most of us operate is understandable.

After all, most women are more than just a little protective of their reputations.

Meanwhile, on the guys’ side, there’s a deep-seated fear of being branded a “player”…often easily rooted out by a few well-placed questions from a woman on a first date.

What does all this fear lead to? You guessed it. People tend to date one person at a time—sometimes for months or even years—only to ultimately decide that the person they’re with isn’t The One.

Why it doesn’t work

So my question is a simple one.

How in the world is someone—man or woman—supposed to effectively figure out what he or she even really wants from “Mr. or Mrs. Right” when he or she is burning so many cycles hanging out with “Mr. or Mrs. Maybe”?

And can we change our collective mindset to one where “dating” several people at once isn’t only acceptable, but preferable?

For starters, I think it’s time to broaden our perspective. I think it’s time for a real, live re-evaluation of exactly what “dating” should be for.

What dating shouldn’t be

First of all, let’s clarify what dating shouldn’t be.

For starters, it shouldn’t necessarily be “practice marriage”, especially not on the first date (!) or shortly thereafter. If you are still looking at every date as a “marriage interview”, I wouldn’t be surprised if you ran into beaucoup frustrating, if not flat-out awkward moments out there.

Second of all, dating doesn’t have to be placed in a box with a particular label on it. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Dating in the 21st century

If you’re into high-pressure, formal mood-killers like Ye Olde Dinner And A Movie, welcome to the 21^st century. First dates should be more interactive and fun…with plenty of opportunity to actually get to know each other.

After all, let’s face it. Unless you’re trying to intentionally limit your dating pool to people you work with and/or those whom your mother sets you up with, the “get to know you” part is going to be paramount.

And with literally everyone jumping on the online dating bandwagon these days, who in their right mind is still hell-bent on “dipping their pen in the company ink”? There are 3 billion MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) out there…most of them single!

How to date online

So what about online dating? When you meet someone you’ve been talking to online, that first meeting can’t even really be considered a “date” if you think about it.

After all, you should only be meeting casually at that stage to figure out if there’s any basic chemistry going on there at all.

That’s it. No stress, no strain. And certainly such meetings are without the necessity that any sex is going to be taking place…right there in Starbucks.

Now if the sparks fly, so be it. But my point is that this isn’t even really “dating”.

So what if there ARE sparks? Should there be wedding plans after the first date?

It sounds silly to even contemplate, doesn’t it?

Why you should date more than one person

Ultimately, I’d recommend LOTS of dates with lots of people before entering into an exclusive relationship with someone.

There are two great reasons for this.

First, life is too short to evaluate potential partners one at a time. Meeting and interacting with numerous people gives you a chance to find out what your real preferences are when it comes to MOTOs, as opposed to your pre-conceived ones.

And amazingly, it’s uncanny how having several options when it comes to your mixed-company social life begets amazing confidence. You don’t cling so desperately to each individual “opportunity”, and therefore you magically become more attractive to MOTOS in general.

Nothing succeeds like success, right?

Second, exclusive relationships should be meaningful. Why cheapen the experience by giving it away so quickly? Take time to get to know someone fully before selecting that person to the exclusion of all others.

Make it count

Make exclusivity count. If you fall in love, be sure about it and LOVE BIG.

Explain your philosophy to anyone you are “dating” who appears to be pressuring you into exclusivity too quickly. Be honest with MOTOS, and rest assured that it will typically result in real respect and even heightened attraction.

Now that sounds to me like the path of someone with real depth. And I don’t see any downside to that.

The 10 Worst Online Dating Headlines And Why They Suck

By dylanalexander

Don’t underestimate the power of your headline. Next to your photo, it is one of the most powerful marketing tools of your online dating profile.

A good headline can draw crowds of people, even if you don’t have a photo. A bad headline however… can make you all but invisible.

In no particular order, here are the 10 worst headlines out there… so common and boring that people don’t even see them as they skim through ads. Use these and fail.

Number 10

HEADLINE: “Insert funny headline here.”
WE THINK: “Wow, people are still using this tired old line?”
This wasn’t funny years ago, and everyone has seen it dozens of times since. Be creative. If you’ve seen it somewhere before, it’s old news.

Number 9

HEADLINE: “Clever headline #28492”
WE THINK: “Ugh, at least it isn’t ‘Insert funny headline here!’”
This lame old headline just won’t die. Do you really want something this boring and unoriginal to be the first thing people read about you?

Number 8

HEADLINE: “how abot diner and drniks”
WE THINK: “You can’t even spell properly in your headline? Is our first date going to be at Chuck E Cheese?”
There is NO excuse for spelling errors in your headline, and yet it is so common. First impressions are everything, and your headline counts. The “dinner and drinks” headline itself is also overused.

Number 7

HEADLINE: “Love to laugh.“
WE THINK: “So? Who doesn’t?”
People write this as if it makes them unique… but have you ever known anyone who didn’t enjoy laughing? Although this headline intends to display value by making you look special, it actually reduces your value by showing that you are average.

Number 6

HEADLINE: “I’m looking for someone special.”
WE THINK: “Wow, I’ve just been hanging out here waiting to show myself to someone who was LOOKING for someone special! Now that you’re here, I’m saved!”
Because you are looking for someone special, does it mean that the truly special people should come check you out? Nope. No one cares what you are looking for, they only care what they are looking for. Use your headline to build your own value.

Number 5

HEADLINE: “Hmm, I don’t know what to write here.”
WE THINK: “Stumped already? Our first date is going to suck.”
If you can’t think of your own headline, you’re either heavily medicated and should not be out dating or you lack any thought processes at all. There is no excuse. None. Steal something off the front page of Yahoo if you have to.

Number 4

HEADLINE: “I’ll fill this in later.”
WE THINK: “Too lazy to even write a headline? I can’t imagine how much fun our relationship will be…”
If you can’t be bothered, why should anyone else bother with you? Seriously, laziness is one of the biggest turn offs there is.

Number 3

HEADLINE: “One last try…”
WE THINK: “One last try… because you’ve struck out so many times already?”
Showing weakness or failures is never a great way to get anyone attracted to you.

Number 2

HEADLINE: “Single and looking.”
WE THINK: “Really? On an online dating site? Shocking.”
This redefines redundant, and tells the reader nothing more than that you are exactly the same as the other 50,000 people reading the site that day.

Number 1

HEADLINE: “Hello,” or “Hi.”
WE THINK: “Nice to meet you, I’ll be going to read some INTERESTING headlines now. Bye!”
This is definitely one of the most common and boring headlines out there. It is completely uncreative and lacking any effort. People won’t even see it listed amongst the other interesting and funny headlines out there.

And there you have the top 10 most useless online dating headlines. These also fail as subject lines for first emails. The rule is, always be interesting, exciting, funny, or fascinating. Never, ever be average.

Happy dating!

How To Meet Women? Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone!

By bradhoward

Are you finding it to be tough to get started in a new venture? Are you working out enough or have you put it off completely?

Are you afraid to walk up to a beautiful woman and start a conversation with her because you’re afraid of being rejected?

Are you alone?

As I’ve discussed time and time again, the mind only truly reacts to either intense pleasure or intense pain. Feeling one of these two emotions will get you to make a change in your life instantly.

Are you in a comfort zone?

Think about it. Are you in a “comfort zone”?

Have you thought about making some changes but life is too comfortable right now?

Are you one of those people that would rather look back and say, “I KNOW I could have done it… but I just didn’t…”?

I see this phenomenon in many instances but the most prevalent revolve around relationships and personal growth. How many people do you know that are in stale relationships but won’t move on because of the comfort level? How many have talked about new business ventures or making more money only to stave off because of the comfortable life they have at the moment.

Remember, growth only occurs when our mental boundaries expand.

Get uncomfortable!

If something you haven’t done makes you a little uncomfortable (not scares the heck out of you), just think about the positive impact on life the new thing brings to you. Try to push yourself each day.

Try to conquer, yes conquer, something new everyday.

Visualize it!

The easiest way to accomplish this is through visualization (and that’s a whole other article in itself)

What are some of your personal hot buttons? What is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you?

Let’s suppose that being “a loser” is high on your totem pole of worst possible things. If you want to lose weight, just say to yourself when you need an extra push, “Only LOSERS are overweight. I am not a loser; therefore, I’ll go to the gym today.”

Or… “Only LOSERS are afraid of talking to women… I’m not a loser; therefore, I’m gonna go talk to her.”

Of course, this represents a generic example. Other examples could be instances where you’ve seen something very disturbing (like a ruined heart on TV). You can then use that to “influence” you. You obviously don’t want your heart to look like that, do you?

Using positive experiences

You can also use positive experiences to help.

Suppose you were in the best shape of your life in college and there was one particular spring break trip that you remember vividly. Let’s just say you had a “great time.” If you are looking to get back into that type of shape, just continually reflect on that particular time of your life whenever your motivation subsides.

Or… maybe you “got lucky” and hooked up with a beautiful woman ONCE before. If you want to get to a point of that happening more… just picture and reflect on that instance when you are afraid to talk to another beautiful woman.

(or just picture the time you had a one night stand with the ugliest person that you can think of, ha, ha)

These examples are completely fabricated but you can definitely understand where I’m coming from.

Don’t get stuck in the comfort zone!

The “Comfort Zone” may be the worst place to be. Some may argue, in the case of personal growth, that rock bottom may be a better place. The pain that a person can feel when they are this low will push many people to go places they’ve never dreamed, simply because now they feel like they have NOTHING TO LOSE.

In order to break out of your “Comfort Zone” and see some meaningful changes, employ the pleasure-pain technique. If the pleasure or pain you associate with the situation is great enough – the results are only a thought away.

Getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men… The Adonis Index. To find out how to use the Adonis Index to generate subconscious physical attraction, visit the Adonis Effect website.