Singles & Dating

Online Dating – Can I Really Fall In Love Online?

With the invention of the Internet and dating websites, the world of dating has opened up doors for millions of people to meet like-minded others.

You might meet someone who you fall really hard for and are convinced that it was meant to be, but is it?

Can you really fall in love online?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been chatting with this guy online line and we’ve really hit it off. Is it possible to fall in love with someone without meeting them in person?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDaPuv1yrwY[/youtube]

The Power Of Imagination

Meeting someone online with whom you get alone is a wonderful, beautiful thing. It’s amazing to be able to introduce yourself to someone online and get to know them a little bit without the awkwardness that traditional dating can sometimes bring. However, keeping a relationship confined to a dating website or to email or webcams can severely limit the growth of the relationship.

How can you be sure that you truly love this person when you know so little about them? It’s impossible to learn everything about someone through an online dating site or through email or even phone conversations. You may feel like you love this person, but what really happens is that your imagination “fills in the gaps.”

Whatever you don’t know about them is something your imagination comes up with and you end up being in love with a semi-fictional but realistic person. Sadly, even if you do meet up with this person after dating online for awhile, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. It would be impossible for them to live up to what you’ve dreamed up about them.

Online Introductions

That doesn’t mean you have to swear off online dating websites entirely. They’re a great way to meet people in your area that have similar interests and enjoy doing the same things as you. If you meet someone online, however, it’s important to keep the online part strictly an introduction.

Meet in Person

Arrange to meet them during the day in a public place, such as a nice café for lunch, and start getting to know them in person. You’ll learn all sorts of things about them that you never could online. What do they smell like? What is their body language like? These are truly the things that can make or break the deal. If you and your new match hit it off, you can spend time growing and cultivating a real life relationship – something that can last!

Dealing With Disappointment

If you’ve fallen in love with someone online only to watch it fizzle out over a few months, you’re not alone. Human beings need intimate human contact. It’s actually something we need to survive. An online relationship does not fulfill that need but sadly, most people who enter the world of online dating don’t find this out until they’ve had their heart broken or end up disappointed in a lackluster relationship.

If you’ve been disappointed with an online relationship, don’t let it get the best of you. Open your heart and be ready to receive love again, even if it is online.

You can set yourself up for dating success by keeping the online part to an “introduction” and moving the relationship into real life where you can truly get to know someone. You may end up finding the love of your life and experiencing the most fulfilling relationship you’ve ever had. Just give it a real chance instead of keeping it on screen.

Find Out If Your New Partner Has Ever Been Married

By publicrecordssearch

Did you just meet a “perfect 10” on your favorite dating site and want to know whether or not they have a past that wasn’t disclosed on their glowing online profile? You’re not alone.

Guide to Searching for Marriage and Divorce Records

There are plenty of reasons to search for marriage and divorce records, especially when it pertains to someone who you are dating or may potentially date. In the age of online matchmaking, dating has taken on more of an anonymous face. Luckily, even though online dating is evolving quickly, there are resources available to someone who wants to do a little background research on their potential partner.

Marriage records generally give basic information: who got married and when and where it happened. Divorce records, on the other hand, can provide juicy and useful information about the stated cause of the divorce, alimony agreements, and child custody just to name a few.

The rules regarding marriage and divorce documents differ from state to state. In some states, only certain people (like parents, siblings, or adult children) can access marriage and divorce records. However, in other states marriage and divorce documents are considered public records. Being public record means that anyone can access them for free.

This explains why celebrities and politicians often have scandalous details publicized during their divorces; anyone can read the divorce decree. But even though the information is available in theory, you still have to find the records, and that can be tricky.

Action Steps:

Here are the steps to take to locate and (if you want, obtain) a marriage certificate or divorce decree.

Search Offline

Marriage and divorce records can be obtained through low-tech means. If the records you are looking are local (or if you have a hankering for a road trip) you can attempt to find the records in person. Another option is to write to the appropriate place, requesting the records.

Whether you go in person or write, the tricky part of this low-tech option is finding where the records are held. Most of the time, marriage and divorce records are handled by individual states. (Sometimes, like in the case of New York City, they are handled by individual municipalities.) The correct institution to go or write to depends on the state where the marriage or divorce took place. To find out the name and address of where the records you seek are held, you can check out the CDC’s website on vital records.

Be Prepared to Pay a Fee

Writing or visiting the appropriate state agency will provide you with an official copy of the marriage certificate or divorce decree that you are interested in. However, the state governments will charge you a copying fee of around fifteen dollars (not to mention the hours of time & effort you’ve spent trying to track down one record in the vast sea of public records bureaucracy).

Searching Online

If hands-on search isn’t working, if you prefer something quicker and easier, or if you don’t know what state to search in, you can try online searching. Several websites offer marriage certificate and divorce decree searches, for a convenience fee.

Our recommended resource for marriage and divorce record searches is Public Records Search, which will let you search in any state or search the nationwide for a variety of public records.

So if you aren’t sure where a marriage or divorce happened, this is your option. Public Records Pro charges $30 for a year of unlimited searching. Public Records Pro will also give you the information on how to obtain an official copy of the marriage or divorce records, but generally speaking, if you’re just trying to check up on John Smith, aka HotStudMan69 from Match.com, you’re probably not all that interested in getting an official notarized copy of his 1998 divorce record from his 3^rd failed marriage. You just need to know that everything’s finalized and he’s ready to move on with his life. With you, of course.

So, go ahead, make sure that your date is being truthful with you by running a marriage or divorce records search.

However you choose to pursue your marriage or divorce record search, good luck and happy hunting!

Find out quickly and discreetly what your newfound online (or offline) love is hiding with a 100% confidential Public Records Search. Try it for yourself, you may be surprised what you find out…

Dating Tips – Does No ALWAYS Mean No?

By loveandsex

The dating field can sometimes be hard to play.

How do you ask someone out, is sex after three dates okay, what do you wear on a date?

It definitely takes some courage and some patience to get used to the dating scene.

When showing interest in someone, it’s common to get rejected. If you’re rejected, does no always mean no?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been told that sometimes persistence is a good thing? Do you believe that sometimes one should be persistent after receive the first no, or do you think persistence is a bad thing?

— Budz

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94UHXaAQwNk[/youtube]

Why A Woman Says No

A woman may reject your dating advances for a variety of reasons. Perhaps she just got fired or quit her job. Perhaps someone passed away or she’s having a fight with a friend or family member. Perhaps she’s dating someone or perhaps she just got out of a relationship.

There is a much greater chance of there being some external factor to her rejection than the fact that she just doesn’t like you. So if you get rejected when asking her out, take heart. It may mean no today, but it might not mean no in the future. Sometimes it does pay to be persistent if you’re really interested in someone.

For the record, however, there is a big difference between persistence and stalking. If you repeatedly make advances towards the same person and she says no every time, or she’s started avoiding you or has even called the cops on you, chances are you’ve stopped being persistent and have walked right into stalking.

One time that no always means no is during sex. If someone says no to a sexual advance or makes themselves clear that they don’t want to have sex, no always means no.

Getting A Yes

There are several things you can do to set yourself up for a yes even before you ask someone out. The trick is, stop asking people out! It’s difficult for someone to say yes when they’re put on the spot like that.

Instead, have conversations with them. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Just have a conversation with them as though they were a real person or a friend because they are! This often gets the person you’re interested in relaxed enough to figure out if she really is interested in you or not, and you have a better chance of getting a yes this way than just asking her out point blank.

While you can never really say that no doesn’t always mean no, you can say that no might mean no for right now. Don’t be afraid to try again later.

Of course, when it comes to sex, no always means no but if you’re just asking a girl out and she rejects you, just remember that it might be a multitude of things causing her to be uninterested in you at that point in time rather than her just being uninterested in you. Approach her again in due time and spark up a conversation. It really doesn’t even have to go anywhere. If you approach her with talking to her being your only goal in mind, you are setting yourself up for dating success.

While you might not always be successful, as long as you’re not bordering on stalking, take a no with a grain of salt and re-approach her at a later date. You can also ask her to be honest with you. If she continues to say no, just ask her if she’s just not interested in you. If she’s really not, she’ll let you know. Then you can move on and focus your efforts on another fish in the sea!

How To Ask A Shy Girl Out On A Date…

By loveandsex

Nothing can be more intimidating than asking out a girl you’ve had a crush on or have known since forever. The thought of telling this amazing woman that you really like her and having her snub you sends shivers down the spine, especially if she’s shy.

It doesn’t matter how popular or confident you are, when it comes to that special girl it’s hard to find the right words. You don’t want to put her off, but what is the right thing to do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m a good looking, popular guy and have no trouble asking girls out – except for this one girl I’ve had a crush on since the eight grade… I walk away from a conversation with her thinking “What the heck did I just say” – I sound like a dumb jock! My Question: How do you ask out a shy girl, that you are desperately head over heals in love with? Ask her friends? Just walk up to her?

–YouTube)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqoiiELpIJI[/youtube]

There is no right way

The honest answer is there is no right thing to do. No one knows what another person will say or do. What you can’t do though, is simply let your fear hold you back from taking the leap of faith and opening yourself up to her. Sure, she might say no, which is her discretion. It’s pretty much guaranteed though, that if you just stand back and do nothing you will regret it for the rest of your life.

To start, you shouldn’t just go up and lay it on her that you’ve been in love with her forever and you desperately want to be with her. That is a bit much to lay on someone and might even scare her a little bit. The most important thing is to just be honest with her. Start small, like asking her out on a date not as friends but as a couple. Try flirting more and don’t hide away from her by pretending you don’t like her.

You have to let her know you like her or you’ll be forever stuck in the friend zone, the terrible place where relationships never grow and nothing ever changes. You should have the courage to tell her directly because it’s going to mean a whole lot more if it comes straight from you.

You can make it happen

If you want anything to happen, you have to make it happen. You can’t sit around and make excuses and hope that one day she just falls in your lap. The world seldom works that way outside of Hollywood.

If you get up the courage to ask her and she says no, then at least you can take pride in the fact that you owned up to how you felt and actually made that first step. Keep in mind though, that a “no” now may not be forever. As time passes, she might actually change her mind and decide you’re not such a bad guy to go out with after all.

Hearing a “no” is better than hearing nothing at all because you never made that first step. Don’t let your fear control you, work past it and change that dream into reality. As scary as hearing a “no” might be, just think of how amazingly fantastic hearing a “yes” would be! Don’t focus on the negative, work towards the positive.

Just think that if you’re friends, you probably know her better than most of the guys she has or will date. You have an edge in knowing many of the things she likes and dislikes already which is valuable knowledge when it comes to dating. There will never be the perfect time to ask, so just go for the gusto and make it happen. When all is said and done, you’ll look back and be glad you went for it no matter the outcome.

How You Can Turn Hesitation and Fear Into Positive Dating Experiences

By mattsavage

You are sitting next to the phone, staring a small scrap of paper in your hand. There is the name of the beautiful woman you met last night and scrawled just below it are ten digits, her phone number.

You’re sweating. Your throat is tightening. Your heart beats faster and faster. You pick up the phone and begin dialing. This is it. It’s make or break time.

You finger grazes over the last number on the dial pad and suddenly, in a fit of nervousness, you hang up. A wave of guilt rushes through your head. You begin to rationalize your cowardice.

"Tomorrow…yea, I’ll wait to call tomorrow. She’s probably busy and it’s too soon to call anyways," you say to yourself.

Ten days later…

You are walking out the door and happen to glance at a small scrap of paper sitting on the top of your burrow. It’s sitting there collecting dust.

"I should have called her sooner," you think, "She probably won’t even remember who I am. Well, it’s too late now."

You let out a heavy sigh, pick up the scrap of paper and toss it in the trash can.

Procrastinating in your dating life?

Has this situation ever happened to you? Have you ever been in a moment where you procrastinated in your dating life? Have you ever lost the person of your dreams because you were too nervous to make a move? Unfortunately, this hesitation is all too common, particularly for those of us that are still new to the dating scene.

Despite what Hollywood has taught us, there is never going to be that perfect magical moment. You will never have that special love scene, where you swoop into each others arms and ride off into the sunset. Life isn’t like that and you shouldn’t wait for it.

Less than perfect dating experiences

The truth is that your dating experiences will be less than perfect. It’ll be scary. It’ll be clumsy. And it’ll be awkward. That’s the way it is and you can’t think that you can avoid these things. Better yet, you should learn to embrace them. Rather than running away, work with what you have in the moment.

So how do you avoid the hesitation and take matters into your own hands? Easy. You just keep pushing through the fear barrier and use whatever is at your disposal.

If all you have is a squeaky voice and a stomach full of butterflies, then go with it. Even if it means failure. Because if you don’t at least try, you’ll never know what would’ve happened.

You are not James Bond, with all kinds of fancy gadgets and perfect timing at your disposal. No, you are MacGyver. All you have is this little crappy Swiss Army knife and a roll of Duct tape. The clock is ticking and you either use the materials you have with you or you fail. That’s just the way it is, accept it and live it.

"Hi, this is MacGyver. We all know how these things work, so when you hear the beep, go for it." – MacGyver’s answering machine

To learn more about Matt Savage, visit www.TheModernSavage.com.