Singles & Dating

How To Know If She’s Straight (and interested in you…), Bisexual, or Lesbian?

When you’re in a club, or another place where lots of people get together to hang out and possibly meet dates, you can sometimes find yourself overwhelmed.

If you’re there looking for a date, it can sometimes be hard to figure out if a girl likes you, or is even interested in you. For all you know, she could be gay or bisexual.

If you’re at a strip club, it can be even harder to figure out if the stripper herself is interested in going out with you or not. How can you tell?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m very good when it comes to knowing someone’s strengths and weakness, at work, playing sports, habits, tendencies and what not. But when it comes to meeting women it’s a different story. Like if I went to club.

How do I know which women are straight, bisexual, lesbian? What are some of the signs? Women walking around in a club and you see them pass by several times, is it their way of checking you out?

And what are your thoughts on dating strippers? Is there away I can incorporate scouting into meeting women?

– Brian, Okla.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XElRFLqoIIk[/youtube]

Getting To Know A Girl’s Body Language

If a girl likes you, she will generally have certain body language. She may lean into you when she talks to you, or she may have her eyes totally focused on you when you’re talking. It’s not limited to that though. There are thousands of different ways that a girl can show you that she’s interested in you, without even saying a word!

At first, she may make eye contact with you across the crowded club. Does she hold that eye contact or look away? Is she walking by you a lot on purpose, or is she just going to the restroom? If you open your eyes and take a hard look at a girl’s body language, it’s pretty obvious whether she’s into you or not. If not, move on! There might be another girl around who is trying to make you notice her!

Gay, Straight, Bisexual?

When looking for a date in a club, or another place, how can you tell if a girl is gay, straight or even bisexual? Here’s some news – you really can’t. Nobody really wears a sign on themselves proclaiming their sexual orientation, but in some ways it’s obvious. Take a look at the girl and watch her for a few minutes from afar to get a feel for what she’s like.

You might be able to tell right away. If not, just see if she’s interested in you. Ask her out! If she says no, take heart and move on. It could be because she’s gay, or bisexual. It could be because she just broke up with her boyfriend or lost her job. In dating, there’s no way to instantly tell if someone is available or not. You just have to test the waters and see.

At A Strip Club

Many men visit strip clubs to get a good show, but some visit strip clubs as a replacement for a relationship. If you’ve ever dreamed of getting romantically involved with a stripper – or thought a stripper might want to be romantically involved with you – you are probably one of the latter people. Just a quick note on that.

Strippers generally will show tons of interest in you when you have a few dollar bills in your hand. It’s their job, and it’s how they pay their rent. If a stripper gives you lots of attention while she’s performing and you’re paying, take it with a grain of salt.

However, if she approaches you off the clock or seems interested in you in other ways, feel free to ask her out. There’s nothing wrong with dating a stripper if she really likes you. It might be a good idea, however, not to put all your eggs in one basket. Get out and go to other clubs where you can meet other girls as well.

Online Dating: How To Avoid Being Perceived As An Email Pest!

By nml

If you’ve been dating online for any length of time, you will have come across a few people that are too eager, or too persistent, or even over familiar. It’s not about restraining your eagerness, or not pursuing someone, or avoiding building a rapport.

It is about striving for a balance because the reality is that, if you don’t keep certain things in check, somebody, somewhere, may be describing you as a pest, desperado, or even stalker. Here are three actions that are likely to rub someone up the wrong way or have you marked in the pest category.

1. Sending a flurry of winks and emails based on seeing a profile (no response yet)

I’m delighted for you – you’ve found a profile that excites you and you want to stake your claim before someone else does, so you send a flurry of emails and winks to bring yourself to their attention.

The trouble is that regardless of whatever wonderful qualities you claim to have and the wondrous message that may be contained within those emails, they may never get opened because you seem a little desperate, over eager, and are actually behaving a little disproportionately to what has actually happened.

You have seen a profile! Send an email with a great catchy title or something and do the job of fifteen emails with one!

2. Sending terse emails after not getting a response to an initial email

I know it’s annoying not to get a response but I want to bring you back to reality with a bump. You saw a profile, you liked it, you got in touch. Don’t assume that by sending an email that you are entitled to a response. If you’ve been building sandcastles in the sky and fantasizing about a fairy tale ending with the recipient, you’ve set yourself up for a fall because so far, this whole thing is in your head!

Sometimes people are busy but intend to respond. Sometimes people are so overwhelmed with responses that they don’t even get a chance to reply. In an ideal world, people would respond to every message but it’s a bit like sending rejection emails for job applications, and to be honest, isn’t a rejection email a bit unnecessary?

Slow your roll. If you get a response, great. If you don’t, move on! Unless you’re on a teeny tiny dating site, there are other people! Don’t bank on one horse until you know there is a horse!

3. Making a flurry of communication after exchanging emails

Great, you’ve actually made contact with someone, exchanged email addresses and mobile numbers. The worst thing you could do right now is to send text after text, or emails trying to downplay your eagerness and desperation but actually seeming even MORE desperate! You know the emails I’m talking about:

“I know I’ve sent you several emails already but I’m not being a pest and I don’t want you thinking I’m desperate. It’s just that I sent you a couple of emails but I haven’t heard from you. There’s no pressure for you to respond….”

For a start, just because YOU decide you’re not a pest doesn’t mean you aren’t. Just because YOU decide your actions aren’t desperate does not mean that they aren’t!

Sending several emails and texts, or even leaving voice mail messages when you’ve had no response yet from someone you hardly know is borderline, if not full on pest behavior. What if they are out? What if they are nursing their sick grandmother on their death bed? What if, they see all of these emails, texts, and voice mails and feel a bit scared that they have unleashed a bit of a psycho?

Always remember the 3 P’s of avoiding being an online dating pest:

Patience, Proportion, and Persistence Control.

It doesn’t kill you to wait for a response to your initial contact – whatever you do, don’t send more than one email until you have a had a response.

Don’t get this online dating lark twisted. There are potentially thousands, if not millions of people on these websites and whilst I appreciate that you want to get a date, you need to keep things in perspective and proportion.

Don’t inflate the fact that you got in touch with someone into more than what it is because nobody ‘owes’ you a reply and if you get carried away every time you make contact with someone, you won’t get very far!

And whilst I admire some people’s very thick skin that’s comparable to hide of a rhino, there is persistence in terms of staying the course with online dating even with some negative experiences, and then there is persistence in the form of not knowing when to back off, or refusing to take silence for answer.

Can You Win the Approval of the ‘Dating Board’?

By jason

Dating, divorced or not, can be as nerve wracking as a tough job interview. You never know the questions but at least you know what you should get quizzed on. You’ve fielded all of the queries from your new interest but it’s time to move on to what I like to call “The Board Room.”

What Is The Dating Board Room?

The Board Room isn’t a physical place. It’s the culmination of several different people who are going to interview you and present their findings to your lady. This interview process can take days, weeks or even months, depending on who is part of the board room. It always occurs, even if you don’t know it. This is where you may here “You’re fired!”

Who Is On The Board?

The board can consist of several different men and women who have the interests of your lady in mind. Most women have at least two confidantes; a “best” girlfriend and a close male “GuyFriend.” Other members of the board normally will include at least one or two other friends of either gender and close family, like her mother and dad.

The Girlfriend

You have to sell yourself to this woman. Not only is she the closest person to your lady, your lady is probably her best friend. Early in the relationship The Girlfriend is probably the most important person to not insult, cajole or arouse suspicion in. Her word will be what seals the deal. If she doesn’t like you there’s not much hope for your new relationship.

The “GuyFriend”

The GuyFriend can be a tough sell. Put yourself in his shoes. Here’s a close female friend of his who is dating this new guy (you). You’re competing for part of his turf and she will listen to the GuyFriend to determine if you’re a huge creep. Guys tend to read guys rather well. If you’re obviously a fraud, the GuyFriend will spot you easily.

Mom and Dad

Depending on how close she is to her family, mom and dad’s opinion of you may be what truly closes this deal. They raised her, have her interests in mind, and know now to handle your lady when they want her to listen. Parents also have the job of ALWAYS being the parent and have met her other men. Mom and dad have the experience of dealing with the good and the bad and will understand your situation.

The Posse

The Posse is her other friends. The ones she hangs out with now and then but doesn’t share all of her secrets. One or two may have misgivings about you, it’s bound to happen. You’re in serious trouble if ALL of them do.

How To Get The Job

There’s only one safe bet to get the job. Be real. Be yourself. Unless you’re a Hollywood actor who never steps out of character and comes back to the real world, people can and will see you for who you really are. You can only keep up the act for so long. It’s only a matter of time before your truly colors show. Remember that a tiger can’t change it’s stripes. Maybe it can roll in the mud and cover them, but before long someone will see it for what it truly is.

Does Being Divorced Help?

Divorce, hard as it is, can complicate matters even further, particularly if you have children. Children change the dating landscape and your new lady knows that. Her parents will be more than willing to impart their wisdom about your situation which has the tendency to be more negative if their daughter doesn’t already have children.

As difficult as things may be, divorce can also be a strength. You’ve been through something physically and emotionally difficult and come out with a stronger emotional fortitude.. Use that strength in the board room. Be open about yourself but be true to who you are. Your lady, her friends and her family will appreciate you more for it. Before you know it, you’ve got the job.

6 Simple Ways To Let Your Date Know You’re Interested

By david

Have you ever been out on a date with someone who you really liked, but you weren’t sure exactly how to let them know that you really like them and are interested in them?

It can be hard to know how to express yourself around someone whom you don’t know very well yet.

There are LOTS of ways to let a date know you’re interested in them. You could, for instance, immediately start kissing them and have a long session of “sucking face” . . . but you don’t want to do that. While it will certainly convey your interest, it will also give them the wrong impression of you.

Clearly, then, there are better and worse ways to convey your interest to a date (with the above example being one of the “worst” options). So let’s look at some more realistic (and better!) ways that you can let your date know that you are interested.

Here are 6 great ways you can let your date know you’re interested in them

1. Lean in directly toward your date when they are talking to you.

Body language plays a huge role in what you communicate to others. This is especially true on a date, where the person you’re with will be paying a lot of attention to your body language.

So, when you’re on a date with someone who interests you, you need to let them know it with your body language. One of the best ways is to lean in towards your date. Lean in and smile. When you are leaning in, look at them directly in their eyes, so that they know you are interested in them.

2. Smile or laugh a bit when your date says something funny.

While we all know it is important to listen to what your date is saying during a conversation, it is equally important to react to things that your date says that resonate with you. For instance, when your date is saying something funny, contribute to that part of the conversation. Keep the conversation rolling when it’s on something funny and don’t change the subject.

3. When your date says something that intrigues you, comment on it.

When your date starts talking about a topic that is in an area of interest of yours, respond with questions and get more involved in that topic. Say, for instance you feel really passionate about an upcoming election and your date says “Well, I really don’t think I’m going to bother voting.” You can respond with something like “Wait a second. Why are considering not voting?”

Then let the conversation flow from there. Asking questions when a date says something relating to an area of interest of yours is a great way both to get into deeper conversation with your date while also showing them you are interested in what they’re saying.

4. Challenge them a little bit.

Challenging your date just a little bit will lead to a stimulating conversation. It shows you’re date you’re interested and engaged in the conversation, and that you’re not just a puppet who just nods and agrees with everything they say.

5. Keep your body language open at all times.

Do not fold your arms. Do not pick at your nails when you are telling a story or talking. Look at your date directly in their eyes. Don’t look in other directions. If you don’t keep eye contact, your date will not only think you are not interested in them, but that you are looking at somebody else.

6. Bring your date “into your space.”

When you catch yourself leaning back really far, lean back in towards your date. When you tell a story, be animated. Whenever you talk to your date, use hand gestures and use your body language. Face them and bring them in, holding your hands directly out in front of you. By doing all of this, you’re bringing your date in to your sphere. They will notice this too and know you’re interested.

So many things about a date are subliminal. You can listen, be a good conversationalist, talk all day long, and get along easily with people. Doing all of these things, however, may still not mean that someone with whom you are out on a date will know that you are interested in them. It is necessary to more clearly express your interest (so that a date will know you are not just being friendly).

If you struggle with knowing how to naturally and effectively show a date that you’re interested in them, then following these tips will really help you to break through many of the challenges you’ve had in the past. You will also be pleasantly surprised at how much differently those interesting dates will act towards you!

5 Phone Rules In Dating That Everyone Ought To Know

By david

You know, it’s funny how differently people conduct their dating life from every other aspect of their life.

Do you realize that if you conducted your dating life like your business life, that you would probably be a far more successful dater? Think about it – your follow-ups would be better, your memory would be better . . . and your manners would be better.

Not only that, but how you come across to others would be better because you would not be so emotionally-driven and attached to every single outcome.

One of the most common dating situations in which people always seem to lose their “business skills” is deciding when to return the phone call after someone leaves them a message. A lot of people seem to feel it necessary to create some super-special strategy to decide when to return that phone message. This is the most ridiculous thing in the world!

So let’s go into it so we can settle this issue once and for all. In the area of dating, when do you call someone back after they have left you a phone message?

Here are 5 phone rules that everyone should following when dating

1. Be Prompt When They’re Prompt.

If you gave out your phone number and somebody calls you within 24 hours, then you should call them back within 24 hours. There should be none of this “waiting four or five days to call” business. When someone has called you within 24 hours, that’s called momentum. It’s called momentum for a reason, and so many people in dating lose that momentum very quickly by not promptly returning phone calls.

Even if you’re busy, call the person back promptly to let them know that you’re busy and tell them you will connect with them in a few days when your schedule settles down. To wait four or five days to return a phone message, however, to me is simply rude. You would never do this in your business life, yet that is what so many people do in their dating life.

2. If They Waited, You May Also Wait.

You’ve given your phone number to someone, and that person waits four or five days to call you. As far as I’m concerned, when that happens you are entitled to wait four or five days to return that person’s call. That person did not make you a priority, and they played games.

Although the person decided to call you, what they were likely actually doing during those four or five days was debating whether they wanted to call you. This shows lack of interest. I know that when I get a woman’s phone number and I wait four or five days to call her, that I’m really not that interested in her and I really don’t care whether or not she calls me back.

3. It’s OK To Call Right Back.

If someone calls you promptly after you’ve given them your phone number, then you should call them back within 24 hours – but it is even perfectly fine to call them back the same night they call you. It doesn’t look desperate. It looks like you actually have manners, that you’re someone who pays attention to detail, and that you’re someone who respects other people’s time.

Think about this for a second. When someone calls you, they are taking time out of their day to talk to you. So it is not only “ok,” but really simple courtesy, to acknowledge this with a promptly returned phone call. This is something we do in business every day without ever thinking twice about it, but we don’t do this in our dating life because we conduct it with emotionally-based decisions.

4. You Can’t Manipulate Someone Into Liking You.

So many people think there needs to be some “strategy” in making the decision when to return someone’s phone call. They’ll think things like “Oh, let me think when I should call them back. Should I wait four or five days so I’ll seem busy and not too available? If I call back today will I seem desperate?” It doesn’t work that way!

This is simply a matter of courtesy and being a mature adult. If someone called me in my business and left me a message about wanting me to coach them, I will call them back as quickly as possible NOT because I’m desperate for business but because I respect the fact that the person took the time to contact me.

Playing games and trying to make someone think certain things about you (like that you’re busy or not desperate) by waiting to return a phone call will NOT make someone more interested in you than they would otherwise be. All you will accomplish by doing this is to make the other person think you are rude and uninterested.

5. Being Busy Is No Excuse.

So many of us are busy being busy. As busy people, we get how busy everyone’s life can be. Returning a phone call and leaving a voicemail message, though, takes only about 15 to 30 seconds. Returning a call to let the person know that you’re busy and will call them in a few days takes barely a minute.

It’s better to return the call promptly and let them know you’re busy and will call them in a few days after things settle down (with work, kids, or whatever it might be), then to put the phone call off and to think about it. The longer you wait to call somebody back, the less likely it will be the person will still have the interest in you that they had in the first place.

These are all tips that you should follow in navigating the phone calls you receive from someone you’re newly dating. These tips are equally applicable to men and women, and the rules contained in them apply to both sexes. So remember to follow these rules, and when someone calls you – call them back!