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Q&A: Blind Date Tips

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Blind dates can be nerve wracking from the get go. You know your blind date will be scrutinizing everything about you from what you’re wearing to what you look like. Beauty, of course, is only skin deep. How can you get your partner to open up and get to know you instead of just paying attention to what is on the outside?

Question: I am going on a blind date and from what I know she is incredibly beautiful. I am not the best looking guy around, but I know she is almost a perfect match for me interest wise. But girls are shallow now-a-days and never look past the skin. I think if all goes right, it could be great. What do I do to get her to want to get to know me?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlG8O0NqeFg[/youtube]

Not All People Are Shallow

While a lot of people may appear shallow at first glance, or even may seem shallow when you first start getting to know them, they might not be shallow at all. Not everyone is shallow and while feeling attracted to someone is important on a first date, many people do look past the surface and try to get to know someone for who they are on the inside. Some people really are shallow though, and it wil be impossible to know whether your date is judging you based on what you look like or if she’s actually paying attention to you. As important as it is for two people not to judge each other on looks alone, it’s just as important not to assume your date is shallow from the get go. Give her the benefit of a doubt.

Be Yourself

The best way to show your blind date who you really are inside is to be yourself. Making a good first impression is important, but don’t do it in a way that goes against who you really are. Keep an open mind and stay relaxed, remembering to just let her get to know you without having to pretend to be someone or something you’re not. If you end up going on more than one date with this person or develop a relationship with them, eventually the truth will come out. It makes no sense to try to fake it, because when she does get to know the real you, she will be upset for you having pretended from the get go.

Don’t Force It

While you may feel like you and your date have everything in common and more and will hit it off really great, sometimes that just doesn’t happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. Just focus on having a good time and being yourself, without trying to force the date to become something. If you and your blind date don’t hit it off, don’t stress and don’t automatically attribute it to your looks. Some people click and some people don’t. There are plenty of people out there that you will click with, so it’s important to keep a good attitude about it and keep dating!

Q&A: How To Stay JUST Friends

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One of the most awkward times in a friendship is when one friend has feelings for the other that the other friend just doesn’t return. If your friend wants to be “more than friends,” it might seem impossible to let them know you don’t feel the same way without hurting their feelings, but you can and you should. Here’s how.

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn, last night my best friend of 8 years just admitted to wanting to be “more than just friends” with me however, we are both guys so I’m not really interested. He’s asked me to do stuff with him but I can’t seem to give him a straight no, I guess I just don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anyway I can permanently turn him down whilst keeping the friendship we had? Any help will be great, thanks.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVy1_B1Gs4o[/youtube]

Being Afraid Of Hurting Their Feelings

If your friend likes you and wants to be more than friends and have a romantic relationship with you, it can make the friendship very awkward if you want to stay just friends. You may be afraid to hurt them because they’re you’re friend, so you may have avoided telling them the truth about how you really feel. You may be afraid that they’ll think you don’t want to be friends at all, or they may be so hurt or embarassed that they just can’t bear to be friends with you anymore. Either way, if you haven’t told your friend the truth, you’re probably afraid that it hurt them and that it will end the friendship.

Be Honest

Regardless of how afraid you are to tell your friend the truth about not returning their romantic feelings, it’s important that you be honest with them and honest with yourself. Leading them on, even by not saying anything at all, will make it worse when you do finally tell them that you don’t like them that way or when they figure it out on their own. The best thing to do in this situation is to be completely honest, without being critical, and just let them know in a nice way that you don’t want to be romantic with them. Be sure to let them know that you really do value the friendship and want to continue to be friends, but that moving beyond that just isn’t something you are interested in.

If It Affects The Friendship 

No matter how hard you try not to hurt your friend’s feelings, you might end up doing just that. Hopefully if you’ve been honest with them and weren’t critical, they’ll understand and still want to continue the friendship. But no matter how nice or understanding you are about it, you do run the slight chance that they won’t want to stay friends with you. This is usually on account of embarassment on their part, especially if they really thought you felt romantic about them. If this happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, except let your friend know that you really don’t want to see the friendship end. Even if they choose to end the friendship, it’s important that you were honest about your feelings and didn’t lead them on. They’ll appreciate that in the long run.

Dating And Mating Like A Rich Person – Without Spending A Penny!

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There are so many expenses tied to relationships and dating. Pretty much everything you do when you’re dating someone costs money. Meals, movie tickets, concert tickets, gas, new clothes, even hotels and plane tickets – it all adds up. And of course there’s the gifts to think about… lots and lots of expensive gifts.

And as you stay with someone longer and longer, their financial obligations seem to become as much your issue as theirs. You pay off your lover’s credit card so that they can relax and be happy. You help them with their rent, or child support payments, or even paying their taxes. And yet, so very few of us invest time in the one place that would probably help us salvage our souls – the therapist’s office!

Find Out Who Your Partner Really Is

Believe it or not, most relationships hit their high point after only six weeks. Once you’ve played your hand, slowly laying down your cards via texting, sex chat, perhaps even some real contact, and lots of insecurity, this person will eventually learn that you are only human, not the fantasy being they had imagined you to be, and the downward spiral begins. That is, if you don’t find out who they really are first and make the first move toward the door.

I was thinking that what would be ideal is if we formed our fantasies (and thus our search for reality) not based on bank balances or dress sizes, but on who people really are on the inside. That in itself may seem like a fantasy, but this is the millennium where things are really starting to turn around for us. More and more people are waking up and becoming self-aware, letting that higher consciousness override the biological drive to go all the way with the first mate that seems halfway reasonable. Our advantage over primates is that we have this inner ability to examine and contemplate our actions, to think about consequences before heading down the road that leads to disaster, and to have the freedom to choose not to take that road.

Stop Playing The Blame Game

This means we have the opportunity to turn humanity into something more evolved. Life is a gift, but it’s also a responsibility. For the first time, I’m really starting to be able to imagine a world in which we embrace this personal responsibility and let go of our blame game. We can choose to do the things that serve us well, and more importantly, choose not to do the things that damage us and damage others. We can stop looking outward for the answers, and turn within to find the contentment and bliss we are looking for. Gone will be the days when penises were said to rule men, and women were said to be slaves to PMS. We will no longer blame Mother Nature for our indiscretions – we will follow in the footsteps of those who dedicated their lives to following their true selves!

Love Doesn’t Cost A Thing

So, what does any of this have to do with the rituals of dating like a rich person? When you finally see the answer, you’ll wonder how you never noticed it before, even though it’s always been there before your eyes. The secret to dating and mating like you’re rich is to accept the truth that you are a unique expression of the divine, and you are the most valuable possession you will ever have. Your true affection is neither bought nor sold with money or desperate acts. You do not have anything to prove in order to deserve love, or to give love. The only person you need to love is yourself, and then send yourself out there to collide with the person who is the right match for your gift of love! And best of all, this happy ending comes at no cost to you whatsoever. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Great relationships begin within! If you want a guide on how to start this wonderful, loving relationship with yourself, and how to start down the road to ultimate awareness and higher consciousness, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today!

The Pitfalls of Suddenly Single Friends

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When both you and your best friend are coupled up, it can be the greatest thing in the world. You can double-date, your boyfriends can become friends and you have someone who understands issues you face. However, when that friend is suddenly single, your own relationship can suffer. Here’s how it happens and how you can prevent it.

You Go Out With Her More

It only makes sense that she will want to go out and have fun, maybe meet new men (especially if she was dumped and feeling particularly vulnerable). It only makes more sense that she will want you to come with her. She needs a wingman to help her, to cheer her up, to just be around her. However, this can be detrimental to your own relationship since you will be spending less time with your boyfriend, and more time in the company of different men, which can lead to problems. We all know relationships are fabulous. But sometimes single-hood seems more fun when you have been with the same person for a long time. To watch your friend flirt (and be flirted) with good-looking or charming strangers, you may start to wonder if you shouldn’t also be single again.

She Wants You To Be Single

You know what makes being single much better? When your friend is single too. Living it up at the bar and sharing sexy stories about strangers is only fun if you have someone by your side. However, if you cannot relate with or participate in her single life, it stops being quite so exciting for her. She may subconsciously (or maybe not…) start saying things or putting ideas into your head to make you second-guess your relationship. It is understandable that the newly single friend doesn’t want your boyfriend hanging around. Firstly, he may remind her of the relationship she just left (or of relationships altogether). Secondly, his presence may prevent other men from approaching her. Thirdly, she may just want some girl-time. However, this unintentional ultimatum, once again, may take more time away from your boyfriend, which can potentially hurt your relationship.

You Start Analyzing Your Own Relationship Problems

You may not think things are so bad with your own relationship until your friend talks about how similar issues ruined hers. Maybe she grew tired of her boyfriend working too much or maybe she just decided she could find someone better. Having those relationship problems highlighted may make you think, “Wait, I think my boyfriend works too much, also!” or “Maybe I can do better too…” The best thing you can do for your relationship during this time is to stay positive. Think about the things you appreciate or enjoy about your boyfriend. Focus on the reasons you like being in a relationship. Also, talk with your boyfriend about what went wrong with your friend’s relationship. Together, brainstorm ways to ensure this won’t happen to you two, as well.

Q&A: Help! I Like This Girl But She Has A Boyfriend

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When you like someone and they’re already involved with someone else, your first instinct may be to simply let it go. But what if they’re giving you signals that they like you too, and you really would like to date them? Can you “steal” them away from their current relationship or should you still let it be and move on?

Question: I know this girl who I really like and I think she likes me too. She gives me these signs like laughing at everything I say, complementing me on my clothes, and smiling charmingly at me – but she only does it with me. Here’s the problem – she has a boyfriend and he treats her like shit. She’s like a pet to him, but I’m not the kind of guy who steals a girlfriend. I really like this girl though. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxTym3O4SGc[/youtube]

Make Sure You’re Reading The Signals Correctly

One of the biggest misunderstandings between men and women is interpreting flirting and friendliness the wrong way. If you like someone, you may be all too eager to assume their polite smiles and friendly conversation means that they like you as more than friends. If someone who is already in a relationship is giving you these signals, make sure you’re interpreting them correctly before you make any kind of move. Make sure you’re not stuck in the “friend zone” and she’s not just using you to vent about her current relationship.

Relationships Aren’t Ownership

When we’re involved with someone, whether we’re dating or married, we tend to put these labels on our significant others as though we “own” them. Human beings can’t be “owned” by anyone though – we are free to spend our time with who we choose. If someone is in a relationship but wants to hang out with someone else and have a good time, they are perfectly within their right to do so. You are also free to spend time with them as well, regardless of their current relationship attachments. Although we are free to spend time with who we want at our own discretion, there can be consequences to those actions. Their partner may choose to end the relationship if they’re uncomfortable with the situation and they are, of course, free to do so as well. But remember that no one can “own” or “control” anyone else and force them not to spend time with someone or to stay in a relationship.

Follow Your Heart

When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s important that you follow your heart and you allow the person you’re interested in to do so as well. All may end well with a new, happier relationship but there is also the possibility that the other person’s heart leads them to stay in their current relationship for one reason or another. The most important thing here is to be true to yourself, and communicate your feelings honestly with the other person without being critical of them or their current relationship. What happens after that is anyone’s guess, but being true to yourself is an incredible feeling regardless of what happens later.