Perhaps as a sign of the times, many people like to joke and tease about sex toys , but few have actually seen – or Gasp! – actually USED any sex toys for fun and pleasure… to add some spice to their sex lives.
Which begs the question…
Do normal people actually use sex toys?
Of course they do! Let’s get this out there once and for all.
Sex toys are often used by regular people just like you and me. Your friends and neighbors probably have a vibrator or something similar, they just don’t talk with you about it.
In previous decades and altogether darker times in our history, the idea of using sex toys was driven largely underground and ridiculed. It was labeled as something exclusive to weirdos, perverts, and people who couldn’t have “normal” sex. This was largely done by individuals or groups of religious extremists within various governments worldwide, trying to convert others and enforce their moral and religious ideals on others (think back to what you’ve read about The Crusades and all the good those efforts brought the world).
As always, ignorance breeds contempt. And there’s very little useful information out there today on sex toys; and on any sexuality topics that deviate from the ultra conservative main stream views of sex.
So keep an open mind and let’s delve into the wonders of sex with toys.
Obviously there’s no such thing as “normal” sex (a very common myth); there is only what you (and your partner) choose and prefer sexually. That kind of open mindedness is absolutely crucial to a happy and fulfilling sex life.
So what specifically are all these sex toys that everyone’s talking about, and are they really as much fun as you’ve heard?
Some of our favorite sex toys
Sex toys come in many, many different shapes and sizes, colors, and even fragrances. Here’s a breakdown…
When most people speak of sex toys they’re generally referring to basic vibrators – a simple, mostly straight, phallic shaped object, that happens to also have a built-in vibrating mechanism.
Perhaps the most popular type of vibrator is the rabbit, a combination vibrator that is able to stimulate both the vagina (as a regular vibrator) and also the clitoris – at the same time. This fact has made the rabbit a favorite overnight.
Another popular type of vibrator is the egg. These vibrators are egg / oval shaped (as the name suggest) usually just under two inches in length, and can be used both internally and externally. As you can guess by their size, they are designed for internal use.
Then of course there are the more exotic remote controlled vibrators, for discrete fun between lovers when in public and on special hot date evenings. Use with caution, and be sure to enjoy discretely.
Dildos basically look like most people’s idea of a “vibrator”, but are not motorized. They’re entirely hand activated, and are intended for clitoral or vaginal stimulation – although as is the case with most sex toys, intended use and actual creative use in practice are not always the same. They of course also come in many shapes and sizes.
Homemade Sex Toys
Homemade sex toys? Absolutely! You’ll be surprised to discover how many potential sex toys you have floating around your own home.
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb just released “Sex All Around The House – Using Everyday Household Items To Spice Up Your Sex Life,” where he exposes the surprising number and variety of sex toys hiding in plain sight around your very own home. Yes, YOUR very own home.
Of course, think twice before you start using your various household objects for sexual play. Think safety, cleanliness, and whether you still plan to use that spatula for cooking tomorrow.
Restraints and Other Bondage Toys for BDSM Play
Sex play of the dominant and submissive variety (BDSM) also involves various “props” which could fall into the toy category. From satin restraints, to leather wear, nipple clamps (ouch), blindfolds, cuffs, mouth gags, and whatever else does it for you.
Here’s a handy BDSM, fetish, and kink checklist to get you started thinking in the right direction.
More Sex Toys
There are many other types of sex toys, including anal sex toys, penis pumps, penis rings, and more. For a complete list of the many different types of sex toys see Cory Silverberg’s guide to sex toys on About.com.
Playing Well With Others OR By Yourself
One of the great things about sex toys is that you can have fun with your lover OR by yourself. For example, many straight women use vibrators to “meet their needs” when their man isn’t around, or instead of having regular sex with a man. That of course is not all that different from a man taking that “extra long shower”.
Where can you get your hands on some of those sex toys?
This being a new and more enlightened time, sex toys are more easily found on the nicer part of town, and in regular stores where even single women can feel completely safe shopping.
Some common varieties of sex toys can be found at your local drug store.
You can even order them online and have them shipped discretely to your home or post office box.
But those aren’t the only places. Again, it’s truly surprising is how many potential sex toys are hiding in plain sight in your very own home! See Michael Webb’s excellent guide “Sex All Around The House” for some very surprising and enlightening fun facts about the sex toys you may already own and use every day.
Wait, aren’t sex toys illegal in some areas?
Why yes, they are. Absolutely astounding in today’s day and age, isn’t it? And downright absurd that one person’s religious ideals are enforced through government sanctioned laws that everyone must follow. uhhh… Remember separation of Church and State?
Throughout the U.S., most sex toy stores – also known as “adult book stores” or “sex shops” – tend to be located in more seedy neighborhoods and industrial areas. This is largely due to the incredible (and deeply sad) amount of overlap still existing between church (whatever religion happens to be in power at the time) and government. Sure, government mandated religious preferences sound absurd in today’s day and age, but religious zealots will push their “morals” on others in the form of laws as for as long as they can possibly get away with it.
These are the same people who try to control by criminalizing many other personal activities between consenting adults, like prostitution, and even certain types of sex. Yes, it’s true… anal sex continues to be a criminal offense in some areas, though rarely prosecuted.
But, aren’t laws supposed to be in place to protect people?
What business do they have telling people what they can and can’t do in their very own bedrooms, between consenting adults? Excellent question! It’s about time every intelligent adult asked themselves that same question and we could put an end to this nonsense once and for all.
Seems The Crusades and the untold joy they’ve brought so many aren’t over just yet, but hopefully they’ll be abolished soon, along with other similarly enlightened concepts from our recent history, like witch burnings.
But as we continue to evolve and become more enlightened (and less judgmental and more accepting of our differences) as a society, we’ll see more and more sex toy and erotic lingerie stores appear in upscale residential areas.
Safety and Sex Toys
Safety is very, very important when you’re talking about sex toys, whether they’re packaged as “sex toys” or objects from around your home.
Of course it’ll be refreshing to get the Chruch and state business properly separated as advertised, so that companies like CVS and Walgreens can legally offer sex toys for their true intended purpose with proper warning and instruction labels. Is that really too much to ask?
But until then, it’s entirely up to you to read up, be extra cautions, be smart, and stay safe.
Be aware of exactly WHAT you’re putting in or on your body!
As most things that go without saying, it’s probably well worth mentioning… open your eyes and be aware of what you’re putting on or inserting into your own body. Yes, you need to know where it came from, who handled it, how safe it is, and so on.
Keep your toys to yourself
We’re taught early on to share our toys, but that doesn’t always apply to sex toys. Sure various toys can be great fun and can add some spice to your love making with your sex partner(s), but that’s where it stops. Don’t lend or otherwise share your sex toys.
This is mostly an issue of hygiene and safety. As long as you control your toys, you know where they’ve been and whether or not they’re still safe to use.
Don’t borrow other people’s toys
For the same basic reasons, don’t borrow your friend’s cool new sex toys. You don’t know where it’s been! Actually, you probably have a pretty good ideas of EXACTLY where it has been. So hold on to that thought and get your own. Seriously.
Keep your toys clean
Yes, again. It’s hard to say this one enough. Be aware of exactly what you’re doing with your toy, and wash it after every use. Even during the same play session, if you’re exploring one “area” and have an urge to introduce your Rabbit to another “area”, take the time to give him a quick bath with a good toy cleaner that is designed specifically for your toy. You’ll be glad you did.
Above all, remember to play safe and keep and open mind. Your sex life will thank you.