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Help! My Boyfriend Wants To Be Tied Up!

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If your partner is into BDSM and you’ve never tried it before, it can be kind of intimidating if you don’t know where to start. Don’t be! You don’t have to start with whips and chains – there are lots of fun, light BDSM ideas to get you started and you can have fun with it from there.

 

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

 

My boyfriend wants to be tied up, but I’ve never done it before! What are some tame ideas that I can start with that are comfortable for both of us?

 

–Sheila, Texas

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFHeWPCnvtM&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Tying Him Up

If you want to start by tying your partner up but you’ve never done it before, try using light bondage such as fuzzy handcuffs or silk ties. You can even incorporate a blindfold to make it more exciting! Loosely tie your partner to a chair or to a bedpost and make sure the knot is too tight. A good thing to do before you start tying your partner up – or start doing anything BDSM related at all – is to come up with a code word that either partner can use if something becomes uncomfortable or painful. “Stop” is usually inefficient in the heat of the moment, so come up with something totally unrelated like, “banana” or “fairies.” It may sound silly, but it’s a great way to communicate if something has gone too far.

What To Do Once You’ve Tied Him Up

Chances are, your partner wants to be tied up because he’s wanting to feel a little submissive. So slip into a more dominant role and lightly tease him! You can tease him using props, such as chocolate sauce or even a light feather duster. If you’re really feeling kinky, a light elastic whip might do the trick! Tease him with nibbling, kissing, light biting and possibly light spanking if he’s into it. You can also do a little anal play while he’s tied up, because most guys are unresponsive to anal play ordinarily. Be careful with this, but you might find that your partner enjoys being in a submissive position and would be more receptive to anal play this way. If you want to try anal play, be gentle and go slow! Also, giving him a nice lap dance can be a great finishing touch while he’s completely tied up.

Advanced BDSM

If you and your partner find light BDSM interesting, you might be more willing to venture into something a little more hardcore. You never have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but if it turns you on, why not? There are lots of stores – real and online – that can provide you with costumes, toys, sexy shoes, gags, muzzles, leashes and anything you can imagine to help you get your BDSM groove on. Just make sure you have your safe word handy (or a safe gesture if you’re gagged) and you’re ready to go!

First and foremost, whether you’re engaging in regular sex or BDSM, it’s important that you’re comfortable with everything on the table. Communicate to your partner beforehand what you like and listen to what they like – be open and honest about sharing your fantasies and non-judgmental when it comes to acting them out. If you’re open to it, you and your partner can find lots of ways to enrich your sex life and have a more exciting and satisfying time with each other!

What’s Your Safe Word? How to Get Off Without Getting Hurt

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You’ve seen the stories in the news – a woman dies during a sex play session with her husband.

The articles are vague, but they usually mention the word “kinky,” a kitchen appliance malfunctioning, and the husband being held for questioning. You don’t want this to happen to you.

BDSM is fun and exciting, but you have to invest time in making it a positive experience for everyone involved.

Negotiating scenes, checking play equipment, and doing a little preparation ahead of time will keep things safe and sane. Here’s a little checklist of things to consider when veering from vanilla sex.

Addressing the Physical Side of BDSM

  • Be present. Don’t be drunk or otherwise out of it.
  • Don’t leave a restrained person alone. You don’t want your sex life to turn into a Stephen King novel.
  • If you’re playing with rope, have EMT scissors on hand in case you need to break out of something quickly.
  • Have water nearby to keep your honey hydrated and comfortable as you torment and tease.
  • When “no” doesn’t mean “no”: Part of your play might involve you pretending to resist, and your partner needs to know when you really need a time out. Have a safeword that is two syllables or less you can call out if things get too intense. (Mine is “bluebird,” as in, “the bluebird of happiness.”) It’s also a good idea to have a safetune to hum if the mouth is stuffed with something like a ball gag and you need a break.
  • Use safe props like cold water and ice cubes as punishment. It stings in the moment, but doesn’t cause lasting damage.

Addressing the Emotional Side of BDSM

  • Negotiate a scene. Discuss your turn ons, turn offs, limits, and what you both want out of the experience. Have any ideas for props or role playing? One fun way I discuss my fantasies with my partner is through Instant Messenger. We IM each other from separate rooms, acting out a fantasy virtually, which gets us worked up mentally and physically. Mmm, virtual foreplay!
  • Let’s talk about safewords again. One thing I have noticed in my experience is that I don’t want to use my safeword. I have come to think that uttering it would be weak, and it’ a source of pride for me that I don’t use it. GET OVER THIS MENTALITY. Your dom is depending on you to keep him or her informed of your state of mind. Body language can be read, but not minds. It might be a good idea to employ a play session where the goal is to make the sub use the safeword.
  • Afterwards, baby your sub. Make sure he or she is hydrated, warm, and comfortable.
  • Talk about it afterwards. Share with each other what you liked and didn’t like about the scene. If something freaked you out, that’s not a deal breaker, it’s a learning experience.

Once again I recommend filling out the BDSM fetish checklist, as it has a section on limits, safewords, and signals. Not only does your partner learn more about what turns you on, but in filling it out, YOU learn something about yourself as well. It’s so much fun to explore. Be safe, be well, and flog on!

Is It Normal For a Virgin to Be Into BDSM?

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As a virgin, it’s normal to find yourself turned on and sexually excited by many things, even if you’ve never actually had sexual intercourse.

What turns you on is going to be different from what turns someone else on, and it’s important to embrace diversity and celebrate your uniqueness!

Is there ever a point where something that turns you on would not be considered normal, especially if you’re a virgin?

Well, yes and no.  It’s a complicated situation that needs a hard, honest look.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I found your website on YouTube. I think I am into BDSM or there may be something wrong with me.  I believe I am more Sadistic than Masochistic though and I am still a virgin as is my boyfriend.  He likes to be clawed and chained (yet to let me do that though) and when I scream in pain because I got hurt or something he gets a little excited.  I have clawed him so bad I took chunks of skin out of his hips and when he screamed in pain I laughed at him.

The idea of burning, whipping, tying down, flogging, wrist/handcuffing, caging, and torturing him sounds fun.  Is there something wrong with me?

Is it possible for a virgin to be into BDSM like this?

– Barbara,  Missouri

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OxuDMsf76o[/youtube]

Virgin Into BDSM

BDSM often refers to fetishes in general, although many use it to refer to the old S&M or sadism and masochism.  Some people find themselves turned on by being possessive and powerful or submissive and this is usually completely natural.

Do you enjoy pain?  Many people do. Why else are tattoos, piercings and other body modifications so popular?  Lots of people enjoy receiving pain and even giving it, and it’s nothing new to interpret BDSM sexually, even if you are a virgin.  There is no law that says that if you’ve never had sex that you can’t enjoy giving and receiving pain and being turned on by it sexually.  It’s the same for young men that are turned on by their parent’s Playboy magazines. It is simply what turns you on.

Can you ever go too far?

It’s important to look at what is “too far” for you.  If you’re adamant about staying a virgin, than yes, having sexual intercourse would be “too far.”  You need to examine your beliefs and morals on your own and really look at them to determine what would be too far for you and your partner.

That said, with BDSM, it is possible to go too far with the giving and receiving of pain.  Are you and your partner getting hurt?  Are you engaging in dangerous activity that could cause infections or transmitted diseases?  If so, you may want to look at toning it down a notch, especially if anything that you and your partner are doing is illegal.  If you’re simply looking to put a little kink into your relationship, there’s generally no harm in that.

Are you normal?

Normal, by definition, is something that doesn’t really exist in humanity.  Everyone is different.  If your attraction to BDSM and fetishes feels normal to you, you most likely don’t have anything to worry about, especially if you and your partner’s actions aren’t hurting anyone.

If you find yourself really looking to hurt your partner, hurt yourself or hurt other people and you feel as though something is wrong with you, don’t be afraid to get help.  Seek counseling in an atmosphere where you won’t feel judged.

Overall, most inclinations towards BDSM are normal and perfectly healthy, even if you are a virgin.  If you do find yourself hurting your partner or allowing your partner to hurt you, it is important to stop and perhaps tone it down.  Nobody needs to get hurt to have a some good, old fashioned S&M fun.

Remember play it safe!  Have a code word that you or your partner can use if things get too rough.  Once the code word is said, everything stops.  If what you’re doing is safe and appealing to you, just have a good time and don’t worry about it!

How to Get Your Freak On – The Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

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A few months ago, I was talking to my new sex partner about what I liked in bed. “I like it a little rough,” I said, “You know, some hair pulling and some smacks on my butt while we’re having sex.”

He sat and pondered this and said, “Have you ever been bent over someone’s knee and spanked?”

Shocked, I exclaimed, “No!”

“Do you wanna try?” he offered.

I stared at him in astonishment.

He smiled and gestured at his lap. He wanted me to assume the position – right now!

My first instinct was to say no thanks – it was silly and weird! But then I reminded myself that I’m a self-proclaimed “trysexual,” so I decided to give it a go.

I lowered my pants, eyeballed him, then draped myself across his lap. He went slow, but he spanked me until my cheeks were pink. And they weren’t the only thing glowing. Turns out I liked it.

National Fetish Day

So how do you go about exploring BDSM and fetishes?

Everyone Has a Fetish

First, you have to come to terms with the fact that everyone is a pervert. That’s right – just like how everyone poops, every adult you know is secretly harboring their own brand of kink. Some never utter what truly excites them out loud. Some never share it with their partner. The poor dears are afraid of freaking people out.

It would be nice if there was a national coming out day for fantasies, a day where every person would put it right out there on the table and acknowledge their turn ons, As in, “Hello, my name is Lucy, and I have a thing for werewolves.” (At this point, my list of kinks looks like a dinner party grocery list.)

Believe me, even the most conservative person has something that titillates them. They tend to feel more ashamed and repress the feelings even more, then take it out on other people. This makes them seem mean, but really they’re just scared and frustrated. A nice spanking would probably do them wonders.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, How Does Your Fetish Grow?

I’m a big fan of taking baby steps. If you have a partner, plant a little seed and then back off. Don’t tell them, “I want to host an orgy.” Instead, say something like, “Wouldn’t it be hot if there was someone over there in the corner watching us have sex?” or “I think watching two girls kiss is completely sexy – if you had to pick a female celebrity to make out with, who would you choose, honey?”

Until your partner is more comfortable, always include them in your fantasy scenario. If you don’t, they will feel threatened and alienated. You want them to feel like they’re a part of this intimate thing you are sharing, a partner in crime, if you will. Be patient with them – give them time to digest the idea, and slowly up the ante when the timing seems right.

It’s even better to own up to your kinky fantasy if you’re single, and here’s why – you have the opportunity to put it out on the table from the beginning, which is a lot easier than springing it on someone later.

Yep, I challenge you – on the second or third date, tell her that you like wearing women’s underwear. Tell him you used to play Burglar with your girlfriends during sleepovers. This has worked wonders for me. Oh sure, I’ve scared plenty of people off, but I didn’t fake my way into a relationship, which pretty much dooms its chances of being a happy, open and honest situation.

Are You Ready to Come Out?

Sure you are! You can start by going online and searching for the things that turn you on. The one thing I’ve heard over and over again from loads of people is: “Thank God for the internet. I’m not the only one.” Join an online community – it feels great to be able to let down your guard and talk openly about what you like, even if it is anonymous.

Next, try it out on a trusted friend, the kind of friend who would pick you up at 3am if your car broke down, or bring you a care package of cold syrup and cough drops if you were home sick fighting a monster cold.

Finally, share it with the person you are closest to – you know, the one you live or sleep with. I hear a lot of people claim that they married their best friend, but a best friend in my book is someone you can share EVERYTHING with. As in, no secrets. So just do it already.

A Invaluable Tool

Not able to pinpoint exactly what gets you excited? That’s understandable – you’ve had to keep a lid on it for as long as you can remember. A great way to find out what you like (LOVE!) is to fill out a BDSM checklist. You can find several versions on the internet, but the ones I’ve seen have been limiting or incomplete in my opinion. So I’ve created my own ultimate BDSM fetish checklist. You can easily copy and paste it into a word processing program, or print it out.

Take your time filling it out, chip away at it. Your first pass through it will not be the most accurate. A great next step is to have a friend or your partner fill it out, then compare them. I guarantee when you see someone else’s, you’ll want to go back and add to yours, or change some of the answers to be more honest. (You might also want to fill it out again in a few months and see how the answers have changed.)

How does yours compare to theirs? Are they similar? Are they opposite? If you’re comparing to your partner’s list, how can you incorporate some of these new ideas into your routine? For instance, who knew that you both had a thing for latex? This calls for a trip to the party supply store! Or medical supply store, depending on the kind of latex.

Yes, your journey towards bringing out your inner pervert has begun – congratulations! You’re replacing society’s blindfold and gag with a kind that is much more rewarding and fun.

The Beautiful Kind’s Ultimate BDSM, Fetish, & Kink Checklist

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It’s a Pervert Party, and you’re invited!

Copy this list into a word processing program so you can edit it, or print it out.

For each question assign a number based on this scale:

5 = This is something I REALLY like. Bring it on, baby!
4 = This is fun! Let’s go for it.
3= I’m not sure, kinda freaky, could be fun, let’s try it out.
2 = I’m not really into this, but if it excites my partner I’m GGG (good, giving, and game).
1 = Eh, I don’t think so.
0 = NO FREAKIN’ WAY.
? = I have NO idea what you are talking about. Seriously, I’m clueless.
* = fantasy only, stays in my head

Be as creative as you want – feel free to add, fill in blanks, specify, clarify. No, you don’t need to painstakingly fill out each and every number, you can whiz through if you like, use checks instead. Customize it to suit your needs; use a highlighter or different colors for your answers if it helps. Most of all, have fun!

Types of persona that turn you on

[ ] = I am this character, ( ) = Partner is this character

(  ) Male
(  ) Female
[  ] (  ) Transgender, drag, queer (_______________________)
(  ) Ethnicities (Asian etc: _______________________)
[  ] (  ) People with accents  ________________
[  ] (  ) People with disabilities (Type: _______________________)
[  ] (  ) Teachers, professors, librarians
[  ] (  ) Lawyers, judges _______________
[  ] (  ) Business professionals, managers
[  ] ( ) Interns/assistant/secretary
[  ] ( ) Nurses, doctors, medical professionals
[  ] ( ) Religious figures (rabbi, priest, nun) _____________
[  ] ( ) Nobility, royalty (Princesses or:  _______________)
[  ] ( ) Musicians (Rock stars, violinists, etc: ____________________)
[  ] ( ) Athletes (Football, basketball, baseball, etc: _____________________)
[  ] ( ) Wrestlers, martial arts, ninja etc: ___________________
[  ] ( ) Blue collar workers (Mechanics, maids, other:__________________)
[  ] ( ) Bikers, Hells Angels
[  ] ( ) Cowboys, cowgirls, farmers
[  ] ( ) Soldiers, marines
[  ] ( ) Sailors, coast guard, lifeguard
[  ] ( ) Police officers
[  ] ( ) Firefighters
[  ] ( ) Mail carrier, milkman, FedEx _______________________
[  ] ( ) Airplane pilots, flight attendants
[  ] ( ) Truck drivers
[  ] ( ) Bride, groom
[  ] ( ) Hunters
[  ] ( ) Surfers, extreme sports, skateboarders
[  ] ( ) Tattooed, pierced, body modified (Type: ____________________)
[  ] ( ) Pirates, rogues, guerillas
[  ] ( ) Historical figures (Civil War, Nazi, Abe Lincoln, ancient Egyptian or:__________________)
[  ] ( ) Inexperienced/virgin
[  ] ( ) High school boys/girls/cheerleaders (consenting adults!)
[  ] ( ) Prostitutes, pimps, sex workers, Johns, sluts
[  ] ( ) Fantasy creatures (mermaid, werewolf, vampire, etc.) ___________
[  ] ( ) Furries
[  ] ( ) Droids, robots, machines
[  ] ( ) Daddy, uncle, brother, cousin ___________
[  ] ( ) Mommy, aunt, sister, cousin ____________
[  ] ( ) Babysitter
[  ] ( ) Divorced
[  ] ( ) Widow(er)
[  ] ( ) Older sibling’s friend
[  ] ( ) Older people, elderly ____________________
[  ] ( ) Executioners
Others, please specify: (clowns, sci-fi, superheroes, etc.)  ________________________

Fetish Extra Credit

[  ] ( ) Smoking
[  ] ( ) Alcohol
[  ] ( ) Soft drugs (marijuana or: _______________)
[  ] ( ) Hard drugs (heroin  or: _________________)
[  ] ( ) Exhibitionism (being watched)
[  ] ( ) Voyeurism (watching)
[  ] ( ) Erotic dancing
[  ] ( ) Watching porn
[  ] ( ) Making porn (photographed or videotaped)
[  ] ( ) Oral sex
[  ] ( ) Forced oral
[  ] ( ) Male ejaculation, cum play _____________
[  ] ( ) Female ejaculation, squirting
[  ] ( ) Menstruation
[  ] ( ) Urination, golden showers
[  ] ( ) Defecation, scat
[  ] ( ) Vomit
[  ] ( ) Anal play/sex ___________
[  ] ( ) Double penetration
[  ] ( ) Fisting
[  ] ( ) Hot play (candle wax, etc)
[  ] ( ) Cold play (ice cubes, cold showers)
[  ] ( ) Foot worship
[  ] Group sex _____________
[  ] Bestiality __________________
[  ] ( ) Necro/unconscious/sleeping ____________________
[  ] ( ) Unshowered
[  ] ( ) Infectious (yeast infection, STD’s or:_____________________)

Favorite body parts: Ass back breasts legs hair feet hands eyes pussy cock __________

Turn offs: _________________________________________________________

Clothing or accessories that turn you on

[ ] = on me ( ) = on my partner

[  ] ( ) Leather
[  ] ( ) Rubber, latex
[ ] ( ) Patent leather, PVC
[  ] ( ) Sexy lingerie, panties, bras _________________
[  ] ( ) Corsets
[  ] ( ) Satin, silk
[  ] ( ) Uniforms (UPS, military, servant, schoolgirl  ______________)
[  ] ( ) Clothing style (Gothic, preppy ___________________)
[  ] ( ) Jeans (denim)
[  ] ( ) Legwear (Fishnets, pantyhose, tights  ______________)
[  ] ( ) High heels
[  ] ( ) Boots _____________
[  ] ( ) Wifebeater t-shirt
[  ] ( ) Patterns (Leopard print, polka dots, argyle ________________)
[  ] ( ) Glasses
[  ] ( ) Hair (hairy, hairless, braids, beards, shaved head __________________)
[  ] ( ) Wet suits
[  ] ( ) Diapers
Others, please specify: ___________________________________

More Props

[ ] = on me, ( ) = on my partner

[  ] ( )  Ropes
[  ] ( )  Leather cuffs and belts
[  ] ( )  Steel cuffs and chains
[  ] ( )  Silk to be tied with
[  ] ( )  Dildos
[  ] ( )  Vibrators
[  ] ( )  Butt plugs
[  ] ( )  Needles and pins
[  ] ( )  Bondage table
[  ] ( )  Nipple clamps and clothespins
[  ] ( )  Blindfold
[  ] ( )  Masks __________
[  ] ( )  Gags
[  ] ( )  Whips
[  ] ( )  Riding crops/flogs
[  ] ( )  Paddles
[  ] ( )  Canes
[  ] ( )  Cage
[  ] ( )  Body bag
Any other props (Balloons, cock rings, stuffed animals, vegetables ____________)

Which of the following places turn you on?

Check all that apply

[  ] Your bedroom
[  ] Other place in the house (basement, kitchen, etc. __________)
[  ] Bathroom, hot tub
[  ] Other people’s houses (parents, friends, party ______________)
[  ] Mansions, bed & breakfasts
[  ] Museums, libraries _____________
[  ] Theater, stage
[  ] A school or a classroom
[  ] Camping, cabins
[  ] Woods and forests
[  ] Beaches
[  ] Farms and stables
[  ] Abandoned buildings
[  ] Back alleys
[  ] Junkyards and car dumps
[  ] Cars/vehicles ___________
[  ] Parking garages
[  ] Truck stops
[  ] The red light district
[  ] Strip club
[  ] BDSM club
[  ] Seedy bar/pool hall
[  ] Swanky upscale bar
[  ] Hospital, dentist/doctor office
[  ] Military barracks
[  ] Interrogation room
[  ] The shrink’s couch
[  ] Jail, police station
[  ] Dungeon, castle
[  ] Churches and abbeys
[  ] Cemeteries, morgues
[  ] Geographical location (The South, Ireland, third world country ______________)
Others, please specify: ___________________________________

Which of the following scenes would turn you on?

[ ] = Done to me ( ) = I do to partner

[  ] Vanilla romance (dinner by candlelight, movie dates, cuddling)
[  ] Rough housing, wrestling
[  ] ( ) Massage
[  ] ( ) Making love in a public place
[  ] ( ) In the woods and suddenly a stranger comes from behind and grabs me
[  ] ( ) Stranger walks into the bedroom and finds me playing with myself
[  ] ( )  Rough sex (hair pulling, biting, etc.)
[  ] ( )  Being “raped” __________________________
[  ] ( )  Being in a public place and dominated in a subtle way
[  ] ( )  Being taken out with collar and leash
[  ] ( )  Being used by more than one dominant
[  ] ( )  Playing in combination with other couples
[  ] ( ) Ordered to please others
[  ] ( ) Sitting/kneeling at my Master’s feet
[  ] ( )  Being tied up, caressed and loved
[  ] ( ) Tied up and tickled
[  ] ( ) Tied up and (sexually) teased
[  ] ( ) Tied up in a comfortable position
[  ] ( ) Tied up in discomfort
[  ] ( ) Tied up and (in a sexual way) exposed
[  ] ( ) Tied up and whipped, flogged or caned
[  ] ( ) Restrained and left alone
[  ] ( ) Not being tied up, but verbally commanded to pose in certain positions
[  ] ( ) Tortured without being tied or cuffed
[  ] ( ) Verbally humiliated
[  ] ( ) Breast worship
[  ] ( ) Breast/nipple torture
[  ] ( ) Grabbed by the hair and dragged into the bedroom
[  ] ( ) Spanked because I have been a naughty girl/boy
[  ] ( ) Face slapping
[  ] ( ) Caned, flogged or whipped without being tied or cuffed
[  ] ( ) Used as a slave in public
[  ] ( ) Used as a slave in private
[  ] ( ) Total slave every day of the week
[  ] ( ) Sold on a slave market
[  ] ( ) Used as a dog, pony or pet
[  ] ( ) Physical limits are tested and stretched
[  ] ( ) Mental limits are tested and stretched
[  ] ( ) Sign a contract (i.e. “I am your slave for one week and will do your bidding…”
Others, please specify: ___________________________________ 

I enjoy the following psychodramas

[ ] = for me, ( ) = for my partner

[  ] ( )  Being silent or speaking only when spoken to
[  ] ( )  Dialogue in normal language
[  ] ( )  Dialogue in adapted language (“Master” and “slave”)
[  ] ( )  Swearing and filthy talk
[  ] ( )  Reasonable rules
[  ] ( )  Unreasonable rules
[  ] ( )  Obey rules or else
[  ] ( )  Punishment/rewards
[  ] ( )  Begging
[  ] ( )  Feeding (someone feeding me, me feeding someone else)
[  ] ( )  Persuaded, rather than commanded
[  ] ( )  Military/jail type commands
[  ] ( )  Strict training
[  ] ( )  Subtle role play
[  ] ( )  Obvious and explicit role play
[  ] ( )  Make me feel guilty
[  ] ( )  Make me feel cheap
[  ] ( )  Make me feel used
[  ] ( )  Make me feel owned
[  ] ( )  Make me feel useless
[  ] ( )  Objectify me
[  ] ( )  The dominant must have compassion
[  ] ( )  The dom must have no compassion at all
[  ] ( )  The dom must only have compassion after the scene
Others, please specify: ___________________________________

Check any of the following that applies

[  ] I need to be sexually aroused before I enter into a scene
[  ] I need to be sexually aroused when in a scene
[  ] I like as many orgasms as I can get
[  ] An orgasm must only be allowed as a reward
[  ] An orgasm is a must to end the scene
[  ] Orgasms are not important, but nice
[  ] Orgasms are not important at all
[  ] I want to beg for an orgasm first
[  ] I want no sex during a scene
[  ] I want/need sex during a scene
[  ] I want my sexual abilities to be stretched
[  ] Sex should be used to relieve tension
Others, please specify: ___________________________________

Safe words and signals

Check any of the following that applies

[  ] The submissive discusses what he or she wants ahead of time
[  ] The dominant surprises the sub
[  ] One or more safe words should be established
[  ] All activity should stop immediately when the sub uses a safe word or signal
[  ] When sub uses a safe word or signal the dom should establish if scene can continue
[  ] A scene should go on up to the point where sub uses a safe word or signal
[  ] When the sub cries, the scene should stop
[  ] The dom should be able to read body language
Others, please specify: ___________________________________