date ideas – Page 6

Mirroring – Discover This Little Known 1st Date Secret

Going on a first date can be intimidating, no matter how long you’ve been on the dating scene. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can ensure first date success.

One of the most successful ways to hit it off with someone on a first date is using a technique called “mirroring.”

Mirroring is a technique that you can use to help your date feel comfortable with you almost instantly so you can focus on getting to know them.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwvWvGgV_iE[/youtube]

What is mirroring?

Mirroring is actually something that good friends and couples do naturally. For example, if you’re at dinner with a friend and they lean further towards the table, you might unconsciously do the same.

If you’re sitting in a theater watching a movie and you cross your legs, your boyfriend or husband might cross his legs too. When you’re comfortable with someone, you will naturally mirror their body language and movements and they’ll naturally mirror yours.

How can you use mirroring to your advantage on a first date?

Naturally, you’re not going to instantly and unconsciously mirror someone on a first date and it’s unlikely that they’ll mirror you. This could be a reason why first dates are often so awkward! However, you can use your understanding of the mirroring technique to make the first date jitters a little easier to handle and help make your date feel more comfortable with you.

When you’re on a first date, pay special attention to your date’s body language. You want to try to mirror them in a way that looks unconscious by you, like natural mirroring, without looking strange or suspicious.

This might take a few tries to really get down pat, so it’s helpful if you try to practice your mirroring technique with friends first. They can give you input on how your mirroring looks to someone besides yourself.

Using mirroring from now on

Once you feel comfortable consciously using mirroring as a technique, you can utilize it on your first date and even second or third dates if you need to. Eventually, if you and your new date become close, mirroring will become second nature to you, as it is with your current friends and family.

When on a date, try mirroring your date’s body language. If they rest their hand in their chin while listening to you, try resting your hand in your chin while listening to them.

How can mirroring help make a first date more comfortable?

The subconscious mind picks up mirroring and sees it as a sign of comfort and connectedness. When you mirror your date’s body language and their subconscious mind picks it up, they’ll automatically feel connected to you.

They’ll instantly want to get to know you better and will feel like they’ve “hit it off” with you. This gives you a chance to really evaluate if you’ve hit it off with them, and can make your entire dating experience better in the long run.

If you learn to use mirroring as a way to help ease some of the tension on first dates and help your date to feel connected to you, you’ll have more positive relationships. Even if the dating doesn’t work out, it’s likely that you’ll develop lots of friends in the process and avoid building up your arsenal of dreaded first date horror stories!

How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends?

By loveandsex

If you find that you’re interested in asking out your best friend, you’re not the first person to have ever experienced this.

Nonetheless, it can still be frustrating and intimidating to want to ask out your best friend and not know how or where to start.

Before you go gung-ho and start wooing your friend with wine and dinner, there are a few things you need to ask yourself first.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I like my best friend (there’s trouble there already) and I want to ask her out but I don’t know how. Many other guys like her too.

How do I make my self seem like the one she should go out with? And how would I do that?

But please hurry! Were going to the movies tomorrow and I’m thinking of asking her out tomorrow.

– Kevin, Texas

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpsRUQJeZdk[/youtube]

Is there true chemistry there that goes above and beyond a friendship?

When you’re best friends with someone, there is a lot of chemistry there already. You both get along together great and you enjoy each other’s company. Basically, you can do anything and everything together. However, if you’re thinking about asking out your best friend, you need to really figure out if there’s more than just friendship there.

Do you feel a chemistry between you and your friend that goes above and beyond the friendship? Do you feel a sexual chemistry? If not, then you are probably better off staying friends. If you do, however, feel that there is something more between you and your friend, you have yet another question to ask yourself. Do you feel like your friend may return your feelings? This may not be something you get the answer to right away, but it’s important to consider before you ask them out.

Do you want to take the initiative and possibly get rejected?

Another thing to take into consideration is the fact that you might end up getting rejected and you might end up losing a friend too. If you suspect that this might be something that happens, consider leaving the friendship where it is at. If you simply can’t live with not telling your friend how you really feel, you need to realize that this may be something that changes the relationship forever, or possibly ends it. Make certain this is something you’re willing to risk before you take the plunge!

Avoid Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

It generally is never a good idea to become friends with a person with the intent of becoming more than friends. Rarely does this work! Usually, you just get stuck in the friend zone. You end up being a great friend, one who they can share intimate talks with and confide in but realistically, you’re on the same level as their gay friends – someone who they care about deeply but would never consider a romantic relationship an option. If you like someone, be upfront and honest with them about your intentions rather than trying to sneak in the back door.

Telling Your Friend How You Feel

Okay, you’ve decided this is something you want to do and you’re willing to take the risk. Take your friend aside to somewhere you’re alone together and make sure there is plenty of time to tell them how you feel. Avoid cliché’s such as, “I’ve felt this way about you forever” or “I’ve always been in love with you.” These will most likely do little more than overwhelm and possibly frighten your friend!

Take it slow and be casual about it. Let them know that you’re interested in being more than friends and you’d like to spend more time together in a romantic way to see where it leads – and then leave it at that! Hopefully, a relaxed attitude will get you what you’re looking for and you never know – they could feel the same about you!

4 Ways Nerves Can Wreck A First Date

By bethanysmith

First dates can be excruciating to your nerves. You want to make a good impression – no, a great impression, so that this person will see everything that is fabulous about you and call you the next day for a second date.

This could be “the one” after all, and too many times our nerves get to us and cause us to do some, well, less than attractive things.

I’ve listed the top 4, in no particular order, and some solutions that can help you overcome the nerves and just be you… calm & confident.

Nervous Habit #1: Eating.

Believe it or not, this is one of the most common signs of nervousness. Picture it: you’re sitting there with a fantastic person across from you… it gets quiet for a moment… nothing brilliant comes to mind to break the silence with, so you reach for a roll and comment on the restaurant’s atmosphere.

Reaching for a roll isn’t the problem… but if you’re not careful, you’ll find that your mouth is constantly full of food.

Just take a deep breath, and be okay with silence. Look at what’s on the table in front of you and make a quick decision to eat only what is appropriate. Then pace yourself. The key is to not allow yourself to get so uncomfortable that you reach out for food.

Some people tend to eat because they are uncomfortable with attention, and they focus on the food in an attempt to draw attention away from themselves. In this case, just relax and enjoy the attention. If it’s creepy, just end the date earlier than normal and you won’t have to see that person again. There’s no sense going home with a disappointing date AND a few extra pounds of food!

Nervous Habit #2: Talking – or NOT talking.

This is perhaps the most damaging sign of nervousness, because it can really affect the way a new person thinks about your personality.

If you are someone who seems to go quiet and blank when you are nervous, then you might want to rehearse your date. You might feel silly doing it, but if you visualize over and over again asking specific and interesting questions, or bringing up unique conversations that fit your personality and interests, it won’t be very difficult at all to get those conversations started. And soon enough, you’ll be comfortable with this person and will not have to visualize the conversations in advance.

If you’re someone who seems to talk fast and incessantly when you’re nervous, you’re going to have to also do some prep work. Wear a piece of jewelry that will remind you to listen to yourself speak. Anything that is slightly intrusive on your awareness level will work great.

Throughout the evening, as you notice that piece of jewelry, notice how long you’ve been talking. If you’ve been rambling for a while, smoothly close your thought out before asking a question.

So, for example, if you are going on and on about your friends and how you met them, you might catch yourself and then say something like, “so as you can see, my friends are a big part of my life. Tell me a little about your friends.”

This gives your date the opportunity to speak, and once they begin speaking, remind yourself to just listen. When you hear a phrase that triggers a response, force yourself to only smile and nod for a little while, to give them a chance to speak.

And laugh. A lot! Laughter is key to easing nerves.

Nervous Habit #3: Fidgeting and body movements.

We’ve all done it, and we’ve definitely all seen it. You know, that whole bopping of the leg thing, or drumming of fingers on the table top, or my personal favorite, the knee shake.

There is nothing more distracting than a body part moving compulsively when you’re trying to have a good conversation to get to know someone better. And this one is perhaps the most difficult to avoid, usually because we do these body movements so subconsciously.

So my best advice here is just to be aware of your body. Be aware of your legs, your feet, your hands, your face. If you feel yourself starting to compensate for nerves by moving or fidgeting, just force yourself to stop and focus on the conversation.

Nervous Habit #4: Drinking.

Do you hear that? It’s an obnoxious laugh from across the room – probably someone who had a few too many drinks. Do NOT let yourself become that person on the first date. Please, I beg you.

Have a drink or two, and enjoy them. But the worst thing you can do to calm yourself down when you’re nervous is to drink too much too fast. The next thing you know, you’ll be laughing at every statement the other person makes, bragging about your past love life, getting topless or vomiting. Yikes.

If you’re going to get topless on the first date, you want to do so with a controlled mind and a true desire to connect physically… not because you had five tequila shots and are now dancing on the bar.

The bottom line throughout this list has been confidence. Know who you are, love who you are, and don’t get hung up on whether or not the person you’re sitting across from approves of you or wants to see you again.

If it’s right, it’s going to be amazing and you’ll love to see each other again. If it’s not a good fit, it’s okay. You’re fabulous, and the more you reinforce that to yourself the less you’ll have to deal with nerves on a first date.

5 Ways to Say “I Love You” Without Actually Saying it

By stephanyalexander

Here are 5 ways to show your partner that you love them without saying a word…

1. Touch Them

Give your partner a hug, kiss, hold hands, snuggle or massage them. Just be close. Nothing is more powerful than the power of touch.

2. Leave Love Notes and Poems

Write love messages and leave them throughout the house. Send an email or text message to let your partner know you are thinking about them. Leave a note on their car, in their pocket, under their pillow. Buy a card or send a letter to them in the mail. A little note or poem expressing your love will show your partner how much you care about them.

3. Food

They say "the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach," however this works equally well for women. Express your love by cooking a surprise dinner and set the atmosphere with music, candlelight, and flowers. Cook your partner’s favorite recipe. You may also give your partner the night off by making reservations at their favorite restaurant.

4. Plan a Date

Prepare a picnic, go for a walk, or plan an activity your partner loves. Plan something special rather than just the standard dinner and movie.

5. Hold eye contact with your partner’s eyes.

Gaze at your partner lovingly. By maintaining eye contact with your partner, you show them that they are the most important thing on your mind at that moment. Holding eye contact can increase your heart rate and creates a sense of unity and bonding.

To learn more about Stephany Alexander, visit www.WomanSavers.com.

The 12 Commandments Of First Dates

By nml

Thou shalt not speak of your ex or theirs

The golden rule of the first three dates is NEVER discuss your ex. I could write a whole post on this but as a guideline, if exes come up, keep it vague and move on. You should both have way more to talk about than each other’s pasts loves. Find out about each other before you even think of venturing into the shark infested ex waters.

Talking about your ex may give the impression that you’re not over them and it also may cause your date to draw, rightly or wrongly, conclusions about you. Even worse, sometimes people adjust their behavior and true character on the basis of the information that you reveal. Just don’t go there!

Thou shalt manage your expectations

Expectations, whether you have too little or too much tend to be behind a lot of problems with dating and relationships. You need to go on a first date with eyes open and with your feet firmly in reality.

If you go with too little or with too high expectations, this will not only skew your perception of the person and the date, but it is likely to cause you to ignore important signals about whether this is someone you should pursue further dates with.

Thou shalt leave your jaded, cynical, self at home

I’ve had more bad dates than hot dinners (OK slight exaggeration) but I still kept on going on dates. It’s best not to tar everyone with the same brush and if you can’t stop being negative, you shouldn’t be dating. Positive mental attitude!

Thou shalt make an effort with your appearance

It’s not all about the surface stuff but unfortunately it is the first thing that’s noticed. Hair combed, teeth brushed, breath smelling good (or at least of nothing), not too much perfume or after shave, no B.O., and avoid fashion faux-pas.

Thou shalt be a decent conversationalist

Conversation and communication is all about the exchange hence you must have a good balance of listening and talking. If all you can hear is your voice or theirs, the balance isn’t right. Be careful of spending your brain power thinking about what you’ll say next instead of listening. Ask questions but don’t interrogate, and steer clear of danger topics like religion or politics.

Oh and yes, it goes without saying that you should actually talk and make an effort to overcome your shyness as nobody wants to feel like they’re talking to themselves…

Thou shalt use your manners

There are few things worse than sitting at a table with someone who has hideous table manners or is rude to staff at the place you’re having your date. Don’t talk with your mouth full, do use the cutlery, and don’t even think of being rude to the waiter/waitress who is serving you.

Do open doors, say thank-you and just be generally polite. You don’t need to roll out the red carpet but don’t let your date end up believing that they went out with an ill-mannered person! And for God’s sake don’t burp or fart!

Thou shalt steer clear of anything overtly sexual

I beg you please, unless the sole purpose of the date is to get a shag (I have to wonder why you bothered with the date though…) you will create the wrong impression if you make the focus of the date getting into each other’s pants.

Don’t stare at their breasts/crotch all the time, don’t crowd their personal space, don’t leer, don’t touch inappropriately, and don’t talk dirty. If you kiss, don’t grope them like a randy teenager and it’s probably best not to badger them to have sex.

Thou shalt not get wasted!

I’m not trying to ruin your fun but getting really drunk where it actually impacts on your basic abilities such as walking, talking, or your judgment, is not a very good idea. I prefer to get drunk with people I know and that I’m really comfortable with.

Do you really want to wake up the following morning and be cringing over your slurring, silly behavior, or even worse, puking?

Thou shalt not display aggressiveness….or cry…

Getting angry on a first date or blubbering is a major, major no-no. Both actions show that you’re not really in control of yourself or an ideal date candidate. Being unable to control your temper or just being generally aggressive is actually a red flag and as for the crying, it is likely to make the other party feel highly uncomfortable, especially if you’re crying over someone else… It’s best to keep your emotions…balanced….

Thou shalt not eye up other people

So you’ve spotted a bit of totty – Is it a good idea to be staring at them or keeping tabs on other hot prospects in the room whilst you’re date is sitting there? Oh hell no!

Thou shalt not use your mobile phone

This is especially the case if you own a Blackberry. Put your phone on silent/vibrate and only respond to ‘urgent’ calls, preferably when you go to the toilet. Obviously don’t spend all night checking your messages! Short of actually looking bored, there is no better way to convey your disinterest if you spend the date emailing, texting, or taking calls…

Thou shalt not pretend that you’ll pay or go halves

If you have no intention of paying or splitting the bill, don’t do ‘the reach’ if you can’t follow through. Guy’s in particular find it very annoying when women do ‘the reach’ and then mark the guy down for accepting their offer!