dating – Page 57

How To Celebrate Your New Beginning With A Divorce Party

It’s sad when people fall out of love. But dissolving an unhealthy, unhappy marriage is a good thing, and it takes a lot of courage to stand up and say, “We deserve better.”

Divorce parties not only let us close the door on that misery, these rites of passage provide the ritual we need to help us heal. They offer us a way to celebrate a new independence, to thank those who have stood by us through the muck, and to announce to the world that we are ready to move on in life. Finally, it’s official.

Save the Date

It’s tempting to set a date for your party as soon as divorce proceedings get under way. But muster up all your patience and wait until things are just short of being finalized. Like any social gathering, your party will require some preparation ahead of time, and you don’t want to be thinking about guest lists and napkin rings in the throes of legal negotiations. You’ll be in much better spirits if you show up at your divorce party with decree in hand.

The Guesting Game

Divorce party guest lists come in all shapes and sizes, and the only factor that determines who you invite is personal comfort level. Would you feel better surrounded by guests of the same sex, or does a co-ed event feel more like a celebration? Do you want to just hang with other divorcees? Does it feel right to bring together only the people who have stood by you through this many-monthed mammoth of a nightmare or are you hoping for something more inclusive that brings even your coworkers and neighbors into the fold? Are you on really (really, really) good terms with your ex and feel that they should be there? The only right answers to these questions can come from you, so put some thought into it and — if it helps — start with a long list and whittle it down.

Deck the Halls

The intensely organized go so far as to print up invitations, arrange a gift registry (ideal for those who lost it all in settlement) and announcements for their party. Some get a kick out of decorating the party space (rented-out restaurant, bar, friend’s house, etc.) with streamers, obscenely decorated cakes, voodoo dolls, piñatas, balloons and bowls of snack food.

Get some ideas from Christine Gallagher, a writer from L.A., who published a book in 2003 called The Divorce Party Planner: How to Throw a Divorce or Breakup Party and has sold thousands on her website, RevengeLady.com. One word to the wise: decorations, catered food and other props can ring up a hefty tally, so be realistic in what you can afford with your new single-income earning status and stay within that budget.

Pieces of the Action

Besides the usual telling of (hopefully by now) funny stories and making plans for the future, the activities at your divorce party can be as uneventful or as coordinated as you like. I’ve read of some recently divorced who have hired officiants or asked a close friend to perform a short, meaningful sermon about healing and the joy of change, and about a woman who asked her mother to lead a renaming ceremony in which she symbolically gave her daughter back her maiden name.

Others still have projected First Wives Club or War of Roses in one area of the gathering and had a ceremonial burning of the marriage license in another area. Don’t feel pressured to include any of these aspects if they don’t feel right to you. A low-key gathering of a few close friends can be just as momentous as one that takes months to organize. The details of your party should reflect your mood and own personal style.

And Just Don’t…

Even if your divorce party is lush with hot and horny singles, it’s probably best not to fool around with one of them at or just after the gathering. After all, this is an event intended to celebrate your newly reclaimed independence, and bringing a sexual interest into the picture now complicates your newfound simplicity of lifestyle.

Other experiences to avoid at your fete include getting totally trashed (you don’t want to want to get all weepy or confrontational), destroying any tangible memories of your marriage’s happy times (your wedding album and keepsakes from your courting days might mean the world to your kids), and making plans to do anything of importance the next day.

And remember that this event is not about hurting the person you’ve fallen out of love with through badmouthing or trash talking. This is an occasion to commemorate your personal path of healing and newfound independence.

8 Signs Your Date is Married

By lavalife3

Ever wondered if you’re dating a married man or woman?

Maybe it’s the fact that you know nothing about their personal life or you’ve never met their friends.

Something just doesn’t jive when you’re together.

Luckily, there are some telltale signs that your lover has another!

Below are eight easy-to-spot signs that your date is probably married…

1. What’s Your Home Number?

Getting a hold of your partner is about as easy as contacting a government employee at 4:35 pm. You have a cellular number but it always seems to be turned off or out of range when you aren’t together.

Well, you can’t expect them to take your call at their son’s soccer game, can you?

2. Are You Dating A Homeless Person?

If you didn’t know better you’d think your lover lived on the street.

You know he must have a house — he has to store that extensive wardrobe somewhere — but, much like the Sasquatch, you’ve never actually seen it.

The reason all the sleepovers happen at your house? His wife would be an inconvenience at his.

3. Tell Me About Your Family…

Speaking of mysterious, how much do you know about her personal life?

Does she ever talk about her family, where she went to school, her hometown or hobbies?

If she’s keeping you in the dark, it’s because she doesn’t want to give you the information you need to discover she’s married.

4. I’d Never Find This On My Own

And that’s exactly the point. All of your public dates take place in very inconspicuous out-of-the-way places, but those happening in the privacy of your living room likely outweigh them.

If you find yourself watching movies at your place more often than eating dinner in a restaurant, you may be getting it on with a married man.

5. What A Strange Time To Call

Consistently calling at odd hours is a definite sign of something amiss.

She may call early in the morning on the way to work or in the wee hours of the night while walking the dog, but it never seems to be at a normal time or from a normal location. Also watch for lot of (untraceable) calls from public phone booths or leaving the room to take calls on his mobile when you are together.

6. Come On, Let Me See Them

Most people keep photos of their wife and kids close to their heart. If you spy some snaps in his wallet or her purse but they won’t let you have a look, it’s a safe bet they’re not of a best bud or beloved pet.

7. PDAs Are MIA

She always finds a way to wiggle her hand from yours when you walk down the street. She nervously looks around her before offering you a peck on the lips and hugs are quick and perfunctory.

If public displays of affection are rarer than black pearls, she’s probably worried about hubby seeing her locked onto your lips.

8. Why Don’t We Do Anything With Your Friends?

The two of you always go out alone.

There’s never another couple or friends along for the ride. He says his friends are all boring or they’re married and can’t go out.

The reality is that he’s all married and just trying to keep worlds from colliding and crashing into his elaborate lie!

Do Blondes Really Have More Fun?

By lavalife4

I have been a redhead, a brunette and a blonde.

The red and the brunette came naturally, but my six months spent as a blonde was due to a series of unfortunate accidents at a salon in Florida where the words “just a few auburn highlights, please” was inadvertently translated into “make me look like Anna Nicole” thanks to some glitch in the local dialect.

I never wanted to be a blonde. Everyone is Florida is some variation of blonde, and I like to stand out. Plus, I quickly grew tired of people talking to me as though my IQ had dropped 30 points at the shampoo sink.

I know a lot of smart blondes. But I never would have imagined that in 2007, in an age of blonde, female CEOs, politicians and doctors, that the color of your hair could affect how people perceive you. Boy, was I in for a shock.

There’s a new survey out from hair products company Sunsilk and website Askmen.com claiming to “get to the root of the age-old debate.”

Have men’s views on blondes and brunettes changed since the days of Marilyn Monroe? Or are we all still stuck in some sort of foil-wrapped time warp? Here’s what more than 4,000 men ages 18-34 said about blondes and brunettes:

One Night Stand

“More men are having one night stands with brunettes (59 per cent) than blondes (41 per cent) and more men would make a move on a brunette in a bar if he were given a choice between the two,” according to the survey. As one dater, Nick, says, “There are more brunettes in a bar. You have better odds.”

Shrimp-to-Sex ROI

According to the survey, “More than 65 per cent of men would rather spend their money on a romantic dinner for a brunette than a blonde.” Why? Well, 63 per cent claimed they have a better ROI or “return on their investment” with a brunette.

Brunette Brides

According to the survey, “More than 87 per cent of men said they have more intelligent conversations with brunettes than blondes, and nearly 75 per cent plan to marry a brunette, if they haven’t already. Almost 80 per cent of men would prefer to bring a brunette home to meet mom.”

Between the Sheets

Some good news for ladies of both hair colors, nearly 60 per cent of the respondents said that they have “an equally good time in bed with both blondes and brunettes.” One dater, Daniel, says, “I have to pick, huh.”

Blondes v Brunettes: Celebrity Favorites

Most guys have fantasized about a celebrity or two on occasion (hey, he’s not reading People for the articles!) According to the survey, below are the celebs who top the list:

Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Simpson tied for the blonde fantasy with 31 per cent each. Christina Aguilera came in third with 11 per cent.
Angelina Jolie was queen of the brunette fantasy at 30 per cent, followed by Carmen Electra at 27 per cent and Vanessa Minnillo at 18 per cent.

Stereotypes Live On

No bombshells here. Blondes have the lead in the following categories:

Life of the party (48 vs. 9 per cent)
Air-head (63 vs. 2 per cent)
Gold-digger (51 vs. 5 per cent)

While brunettes have the advantage in these categories:

Intelligent (58 vs. 3 per cent)
Serious (64 vs. 4 per cent)
Good sense of humor (32 vs. 15 per cent)

Being a brunette myself, I’m pretty happy to take credit for the parts of the survey that I think match my personality (smart, funny) and quick to discard the categories that don’t fit (pass on the one night stand, thankyouverymuch.) But I wonder if changing your hair color can really change how people perceive you? Are blondes with dark roots considered to be smarter? Are brunettes with blonde roots considered to be more fun?

I didn’t like being blonde because it didn’t feel like me. But I have shy brunette friends who blossomed into the life of the party once fortified with golden highlights.

The great thing about hair color is that you can change it in an afternoon. And the great thing about people is that we are all different and fabulous and interesting in our own ways — no matter what the color of our hair.

Speed Dating Grows Up – Meet 5 People In 5 Minutes Without Leaving Home

By loveandsex

When most people think of traditional speed dating, they picture their local pub trying to get 20 sober people together in one room, in hopes they can go a few rounds with one another to find a match.

Well, fast forward to the present. The times have finally caught up with that old idea of speed dating.

WooMe is revolutionizing the way people meet. They’ve developed a way for people to meet online in real time (with just a browser and a webcam), in a fun, fast and free way. Yes, we said free…

No long profiles to fill out. You can meet 30 people on WooMe in less time than it takes to create a profile on traditional online dating sites like eHarmony and Match.com.

Imagine firing up your computer and webcam, and meeting 5 people in 5 minutes in real time, without leaving the comfort of home. So instead of spending your whole evening going cross town to some speed dating event at a bar or restaurant where you MIGHT meet one or two people you MAY like…

WooMe speed sessions are created by you around any topic of interest and you can review member profiles and pictures before the session begins. Think of it as speed dating where you get to pre-screen the people you’ll be meeting.

Is It Safe?

Women will particularly enjoy speed dating on a service like WooMe because it’s safe and anonymous, with none of the traditional concerns of meeting a bunch of strange guys at a bar.

With an online speed dating service, you have an easy and guaranteed out. You control who you see again and just as importantly, who you don’t see again. That creepy guy staring at you the whole evening and trying to follow you home!

WooMe has built specific tools to make people feel as safe as possible, like "report user" for calling out inappropriate behavior while in sessions and "block user" preventing unwanted profiles from participating in any sessions you may join in the future.

When you hit it off with someone and you both want to pursue an off-line relationship, you can get each other’s contact info… This is the only time that information is ever exchanged. The ones you don’t click with will never see YOU in person at all or receive any of your personal information. Now that’s refreshing.

It’s still just about dating, right? NO!

Here’s what’s really cool. It’s not just about dating anymore. Think "Speed Introductions"…

Want to meet a few people who share the same passion as you? You can meet new people in your area, find a roommate, find a travel partner, and so on. And unlike social networking or online dating sites, the idea here is to connect to real people in real time…

At WooMe, you can meet 5 people in 5 minutes who are interested in just about any topic you can imagine, and you both get to decide if you want to talk again. WooMe sessions are created by other users around any topic of interest, so you can check out what sessions are about to start and see where you’d like to get involved.

Check out the upcoming live chat sessions and pick one you’d like to join. But be careful, it can be a little addictive.

Don’t see a session you want to join?

No problem, you can create one for whatever you’re interested in… dating, work, sports, music, anything. Looking for a great hang out spot in your area? Create a session called something like "What are the best hang outs in Los Angeles?". But be creative, make it intriguing so people will notice it. You can even specify how many men or women can join your session. Than sit back and watch people sign up for that session.

It’s that easy.

Are There Any Good Free Dating Sites?

By loveandsex

So you’ve decided to try online dating, but where do you look?

Online dating services are popping up daily on the internet, making the decision of choosing the “right” dating service a bit overwhelming.

More importantly, are there any good FREE dating sites or do you have to pull out your credit card? Here’s a question from Jeff in North Carolina who is very frustrated with the ‘free’ dating site options…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been looking on-line now for two months to find a real woman. All I get is nothing…

Free sites. What the heck do they think free means? I’m not giving anyone money for sex.

My question : Is there a place I can go to get free date or sex sites?

–Jeff, North Carolina

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYCEFG7JWlM[/youtube]

Are There Any Good Free Dating or Sex Sites?

I have one thing to say on this… “You get what you pay for” — You don’t go around bumming beer and food and you wouldn’t expect to get a free lunch when you walk into a restaurant! If you do, I doubt you’ll have much success at it. In our society, you typically get what you pay for. That’s basically what it comes down to.

The sex market, especially, is way too big. Just imagine going into a 7-11 and saying, “Hey I’d like a copy of playboy magazine and I want you to give it to me for free!”. They’ll probably laugh you out of the store. So asking for a good quality, and free, sex dating site is asking a lot.

Having said that, there are some free dating sites out there. Plentyoffish.com is a good example. It’s one of the most popular free dating sites out there. You can find others by going to Google and searching for ‘free online dating site’.

Just remember… These sites have to make there money somehow. What you’ll most likely find are lots and advertisements and promotional offers. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s just the ‘free’ business model. With free sites, you’ll also see more spammers and ‘cam girls’ because they normally don’t have the infrastructure to really check people out and make sure they’re for real – you’ll have to do that yourself. So you see, even with ‘free’ sites, there is a price to pay.

Why not invest $30 and get it over with? You’re eventually going to have to pay for a date, coffee, or something eventually. It’s well worth the extra time to find 2 or 3 dating sites that fit your personality and offer the services that you are looking for. Once you’ve chosen a few, sign up for each of them. It only takes a little extra time and you’re sure to meet different people on each of the different sites.

Tips for Finding an Online Dating Website

Here are some excellent tips for finding a service that will best match your needs (from “Online Dating – Finding Love Online”):

1. Try to choose an online dating service that has been around for a couple of years.

The best way to find out how long a website has been around is to go to the website’s “About Us” page where you will learn not only the date the site was started but also the company’s philosophy. Another good source of information is the “FAQ”, or frequently asked questions page on the website.

2. Look for an online dating service that offers a free trial

Quality sites will allow you to browse profiles and photos before you join, or a service that offers a free trial period so you can talk to people that you are interested in meeting before you have to pay.

3. For safety and convenience, look for online dating services that offer onsite messaging and e-mail services.

This will allow you to communicate with people using a special email provided by the dating service instead of using your personal email or IM (instant message) ID. You should stay anonymous, at least at first. You may want to use a free email account, such as Yahoo! Mail or Hotmail, to reduce the possibility of spam to your regular email box.

4. Make sure the dating service offers secure payment methods.

Also, look at the type of payments accepted (credit card, check, money order, PayPal, etc.) to ensure the options work for you.

To Pay or Not To Pay

Today, almost all dating sites require you to “pay before you play”. What I mean by this is that you can typically create your profile and browse other profiles for free, but if you want to talk to someone, be ready to hand over your credit card.

Here are some of the different types of membership options you’ll find and what you can expect from each:

Free Memberships

Most online dating sites offer free memberships so you can try before you buy with absolutely no obligation to ever become a paid subscriber. This gives you a chance to check out the service, see what it offers and can help you decide whether or not it is the one for you. Most free memberships are limited.

A “free” membership allows you to create a profile, search, and browse other member profiles. This type of membership rarely lets you initiate email contact, respond to email messages or use the instant messaging system. You will have to pay if you want to really communicate with someone.

Trial Memberships

Trial memberships are still free, but you get to use the full service for a limited amount of time, usually anywhere from 3 to 14 days. Once your trial time is up you’ll need to subscribe if you want to continue using the service, or you will be automatically billed at the end of your trial period (this is the most common approach) – make sure to read the terms of the trial membership so that you fully understand what is required of you.

Paid Subscription

To truly get the best out of online dating, I recommend signing up for a trial membership on several sites to get a feel for the ones that best meet your needs. Pick 1 to 3 sites that you really like, join these sites, and cancel your free memberships at the other sites.

Important Note: Most dating sites have a subscription that is auto-renewed like your car insurance or internet service. You will need to cancel your account to prevent further billing.

Once you pay the required fee, you’ll be able to do more detailed searches, make use of any matchmaking tools that the site offers, and you’ll also have unlimited email and instant message privileges, which is very important if you really want to get to know someone better. Some dating sites will even alert you by mail if anyone new signs up matching your criteria or if someone looks at your profile. This alone can save you a lot of time in your search for that perfect partner.

For your own protection, make sure the sites you join have a privacy policy, guaranteeing that they won’t reveal any information about you to anyone without your say-so.

For more great online dating tips, check out “Online Dating – Finding Love Online”.