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Q&A: Sex Toys For Virgins

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Sex toys aren’t just for advanced users. Virgins who choose not to have sex yet still want satisfaction! Whether you’re a teen looking into exploring your body before choosing to become sexually active, or you’re abstaining from sex but still want to have great orgasms, you definitely want to have a great sex toy in your nightstand! However, a huge dildo probably isn’t the best choice. What are good sex toy choices for virgins or women who are abstaining from intercourse?

Question: I’m a young virgin, and I want an inexpensive sex toy that won’t stretch me out. Any suggestions?

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Clitoral Vibrators

First off, if you don’t want to deal with insertion at all, your best option is a vibrator designed specifically for the clitoris. All it does is sit on top of the clitoris and vibrate – no insertion required! This is also the perfect choice if you’re a virgin and don’t want to stretch yourself out or damage your hymen in any way. In fact, many women prefer clitoral vibrators over other styles of sex toys simply because they can provide some of the best orgasms! The clitoris was designed for sexual pleasure – and that’s it! It has no other function at all except to provide pleasure. Many women – even very sexually experienced ones – choose clitoral vibrators again and again simply because it’s one of the easiest and best ways to reach climax!

Small, Slender And Discreet Vibrators

There are many small and slender vibrators out there that are designed for insertion, but they are so slender, they’re not going to stretch you out at all. In fact, many slender vibrators are thinner than a tampon! While you definitely want to stay away from Rabbit style sex toys (those can be quite large and are better suited to advanced sex toy users) and large dildos, small and slender vibrators might just be right up your alley. Most of these types of sex toys are designed to be discreet, and can fit in your purse or may look like a tube of lipstick. These make excellent starter sex toys, especially if you’ve never had sex before and are just starting to experiment with sex toys!

Bullet And Torpedo Style Vibrators

A bullet style vibrator is a must have for every woman, simply because it is so small and versatile. A simple bullet vibe can be placed on the clitoris or in the vagina, and some of them can be inserted into cock rings and used for couples pleasure (when you get there). Torpedo style vibes are also popular – they’re generally just a longer version of the bullet vibe. Jimmy Jane makes excellent torpedo style vibrators – they’re extremely classy and barely even an inch in width. G-spot vibrators are also popular, because they typically have a larger bulb on the top, followed by very slender handle.

Remember That Your Vagina Is Made To Stretch

While you certainly don’t want to purchase any sex toys that make you feel uncomfortable or feel too big for you, keep in mind that your vagina is designed to stretch and return to it’s normal shape. It’s not as though you’re going to put a vibrator in there and your vagina is going to stretch out and never return to it’s normal size. It will! The vagina will even return to it’s normal size and shape after giving birth – and that is definitely stretching. The only thing that won’t return to normal after using an insertable sex toy if you’re a virgin is your hymen – once you break that, it’s done and over with. But also know that the hymen can be broken during a variety of non-sexual activities, such as horseback riding, gymnastics, or even inserting a tampon.

Inexpensive Sex Toys

While there are lots of inexpensive sex toys out there that are great, there are many that aren’t so great. While price is a good thing to keep in mind when shopping for sex toys, you really don’t want to compromise on quality. Make sure whatever toy you choose is manufactured with body safe, phthalate free materials (or slip a condom over it if you’re not sure) and is made by a reputable company. Buying cheap sex toys may make your wallet feel better now, but you won’t be pleased when you open the package and find that it stinks like chemicals or the vibrations are weak. If you can find actual user reviews on the sex toys you’re considering purchasing, read through them! They can really help you decide whether or not a particular toy is right for you.

Penis Extensions – Can They Spice Up Your Sex Life?

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Penis extensions are for guys who can’t please a woman with their penis, right? Wrong! They can actually make great sex with your lover even better. You might think, “Why would a guy want to put a fake one on?” Truth is, they do make it a little more difficult to feel sex with your lover – but wouldn’t that make it ideal for men with premature ejaculation? Also, lots of couples enjoy how different intercourse feels when the male partner is wearing a penis extension – he feels bigger going in and it certainly feels bigger to her. Experimenting with penis extensions can be a lot of fun, even if you have average or larger sized genitals!

What Are Penis Extensions?

Think of penis extensions as dildos that fit over the head of your member. They are generally made of similar material (such as jelly, silicone or realistic skin-like material) and look very realistic. They extend the length of the penis considerably, allowing a shorter man to penetrate further into his partner’s vagina.

Average sized men can also use penis extensions if their partners desire a very deep, intense penetration. Some penis extensions require straps to keep them in place, while others simply slip over the head and stay there due to the soft, stretchy material that hugs the shaft.

Don’t They Reduce Pleasure? Why Would A Guy Want To Wear One?

It is true that penis extensions reduce some of the pleasurable sensations experienced during intercourse. However, many men and couples feel as though the benefits outweigh this. And of course, many men choose to wear a penis extension some of the time – while still having intimate, pleasurable sex with their partners without wearing one.

  • Men who suffer from premature ejaculation may find penis extensions incredibly useful. They reduce the amount of sensation that the nerves in the shaft feel, so he may be able to last longer.
  • Men who have smaller penises or simply just want more than what they already have will find that they can reach farther and stimulate more of their partner’s hot spots than with their own.
  • Many guys enjoy the feeling of being able to penetrate their lovers so deeply. And many women enjoy being penetrated exceptionally deep. This is one of the key reasons that guys with average or larger sized genitals would want a penis extension. It can be totally erotic to go as deep as possible!

During Role Play

Sexual role play is another fun thing you can do with penis extensions. This works well if you and your lover have agreed on monogamy, but want to spice things up and experience something a little different every once in a while. A penis extension will make the male partner feel like he’s a different man to both lovers! Incorporate this into a sexy role play scenario. Use costumes if you like, and definitely up the ante with some dirty talk.

Care & Safety

Care for penis extensions is much like the care of any sex toy. You want to be aware of the material it is made from, because latex can be broken down by using petroleum jelly or oil based lubes, while silicone can be broken down by using other silicone lubes. If you use a water based lube, you’re pretty much safe all around. Most penis extensions can be cleaned with simple soap and water, but if you purchase one made of life-like skin material, you’ll need to dust it with plain cornstarch to keep it soft and supple.

Although a penis extension covers the top of the penis, it does not completely prevent semen from spilling into the vagina. It is not designed for safe sex – so it won’t protect you or your partner from pregnancy or any kind of sexually transmitted diseases. If you are in a monogamous relationship with someone and you are both STD free, a condom may not be necessary for you when wearing a penis extension if you are either using birth control methods or are planning a pregnancy. However, if you wish to practice safe sex, you’ll want to wear a condom underneath the penis extension to be sure you’re protecting against unwanted pregnancies and STD’s.

A penis extension can be a lot of fun to experiment with if you’re looking for something a little different in the bedroom. It’s not a replacement for intimate, natural sex with your lover, but it can definitely add some spice in situations that are lacking it!

Sex Machines – Do Women Even Need Men Anymore?

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Sex machines have clitoral vibrators, dildos and even anal attachments – way more than any guy has in his “tool box.” Even if a guy has a huge penis, he still doesn’t vibrate, does he? So do girls even need guys for sex?

What Are Sex Machines?

Sex machines are often seen in porn – especially fetish porn or other types of specialized porn. They are machines designed to simulate intercourse, penetration, oral sex and more, often at much higher speeds than can be achieved through traditional sexual intercourse or oral sex. The most popular speed is about 160 strokes per minute, but many models can do up to 300 strokes per minute without ever breaking a sweat.

There are many different varieties of sex machine, ranging from those simple in design to ones that have an attachment that stimulates almost every hot spot imaginable. Some of the more unique sex machines are:

  • A custom designed model that simulates the licking of a clitoris with molded silicone tongues that are attached to a chainsaw
  • Models for double penetration
  • Models with attachments that spray water on the clitoris and penetrates the vagina at the same time
  • A vacuum powered clitoris pump or nipple stimulator
  • A spanking machine
  • Models that are designed to penetrate two women at once

What Can Sex Machines Do?

The majority of sex machines are going to be seen in porn, used by women who are alone and masturbating. They have a variety of uses, however. They can be used by a woman for female masturbation, or by men with a male masturbator attachment. They can be used for anal sex, clitoral orgasms, nipple play and even spanking and restraining. There are many different models of sex machines out there, so whatever you like, you’ll probably be able to find a machine that does it for you.

Sex machines can also be used by couples that desire more in their sex life than just what trying different sex positions and other things to spice up sex can offer. Men who entertain a cuckold fantasy will definitely love watching their wives get banged by a mechanical dildo, while women may enjoy watching their partners be slowly pleased with a soft and squishy masturbator.

Are They Really Better Than Sex?

Orgasms with sex machines are often harder and much more intense than an orgasm that is experienced during sex with a partner. Women who have never experienced an orgasm can have one with a sex machine, and women who have never experienced female ejaculation will often squirt during sex with a machine without even knowing they can. This is because:

  • Sex machines offer intense speeds that no human could possibly replicate
  • They offer steady stimulation at the same speed, which for a woman, is necessary for orgasm
  • They are designed specifically for firm g-spot stimulation, which can cause squirting
  • They never get tired and they’re always around when you want them
  • They offer just about any type of stimulation that you want
  • Creative folks, mechanics and those good with their hands can often create their own sex machines that are designed specifically for their pleasure

Nothing Can Replace A Partner’s Intimacy

While sex machines can really deliver when it comes to the physical stimulation department, that’s not always what guys and gals are looking for when it comes to sex and lovemaking. Women who enjoy a fast and hard orgasm during masturbation with a sex machine are still going to need that emotional intimacy that only a partner can give.

Sex machines can’t give hugs, tell a woman she’s beautiful or take her out to dinner. They can’t look into the eyes of their man while they give them a slow, deep blowjob and they can’t touch and kiss softly during foreplay. While sex machines do have a lot to offer, they lack the critical emotional and physical intimacy that comes from real sex with a real, live partner.

Should You Get A Sex Machine?

They are fairly expensive, especially if you choose to get the kind of high quality models that you see in porn films. However, if you have the space and privacy at home for one, they can be a fun investment for masturbation and erotic play with your lover.

Safety Tip

Never try to turn a nail gun, a drill, a saw or a chainsaw into a homemade sex toy. If something goes wrong – like the saw cuts through the dildo you shoved on it – you can really hurt yourself or someone else. Only use sex machines you’ve purchased from a reputable company and follow all recommended safety guidelines.

Fingers vs. Sex Toys – Which Is Better?

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Female masturbation can be done with almost anything – hands, sex toys or even a shower head. All women are different and prefer their own style of masturbation – no two women will ever do it exactly the same. But which is better – a vibrator or your hands?

Pros Of Fingering

While some women just enjoy the buzz that a good vibrator can give them, there are certain things that fingers can do that sex toys can’t. While sex toys offer stronger, faster and harder orgasms than  hands can give you in most cases, there are definitely some benefits to “clicking your own mouse” the old fashioned way.

They’re Readily Available Whenever You Want Them

Your hands are attached to you, so if you want to masturbate in the bathroom on a plane or even in your car while stuck in traffic, you can without having to bring any extra tools with you.

Easy To Clean

No special cleansers required here – all it takes to get your hands clean before and after female masturbation is to wash them with good old old fashioned soap and water. In fact, if you’re doing it in the bathroom, you can wash your hands as you come out with no one being the wiser! If you’re not in a place where washing your hands is an option, a good dollop of hand sanitizer will do in a pinch.

Easier To Hide What You’re Doing If You Get Caught Masturbating

If you get caught going for the gold with a huge dildo, it’s going to be pretty difficult to try to hide what you’re doing or explain yourself – unless you want to just come out there and admit you’ve been getting it on with yourself. If you’re fingering yourself and you get caught, it is much, much easier to hide it or pretend that you weren’t masturbating. Not like getting caught with a sex toy!

A Man Is Less Intimidated By Fingers If He’s Intimidated By Sex Toys

If you’re with a guy who has a vendetta against sex toys (and some of them do), he’s going to be less intimidated if he knows you masturbate with your hands instead of a vibrator. While there’s nothing wrong with masturbating either way, some men just feel like they can’t compete with something that runs off of batteries.

Cons Of Using Your Fingers

While there are many benefits to using your hands during female masturbation, there are definitely some cons as well. Ignoring the downfalls of using your hands to get yourself off boils down to the personal preference of each woman.

They May Be Too Short To Reach Your G-Spot

If you have very short arms, hands or fingers, they may not reach your g-spot. While this is fine for women who enjoy fingering their clitoris during female masturbation, women who really enjoy intense g-spot orgasms are going to be disappointed.

It May Take Longer To Reach Orgasm

Vibrators allow women to achieve orgasms faster than ever before, and often the climax is much more intense. Not so with fingers – while you can reach orgasm and it can be just as good, it may take a lot longer to push yourself over the edge. This is especially true if you’re used to masturbating with a vibrator and switch to doing it with your hands.

It May Be Very Uncomfortable To Bend Your Arm And Wrist Enough To Reach Your G-Spot

The angle required to reach the g-spot properly is intense – reaching your own hand down there and angling your fingers in the right way may be uncomfortable or painful. You may be able to do it for a short period of time, but coupled with the movement of your fingers to stimulate your g-spot, you may not be able to keep it up for very long.

Bacteria From Under Your Nails Can Cause Infections

If you’re not good about washing your hands before you masturbate, bacteria under your nails can be introduced into your vagina and cause bacterial or yeast infections. This is why proper hygiene is so important!

Long Nails Can Scratch And Cut

Many women enjoy having long nails or wear acrylic nails. If you do, your long nails can scratch or cut the inside of your vagina. Ouch! If you prefer to masturbate with your hands, try to keep your nails trimmed or file the edges so they are not sharp.

Pros Of Using Sex Toys For Female Masturbation

While many of the benefits of using sex toys during female masturbation are obvious – vibrations, hello? – there are also a number of other benefits of choosing a toy instead of your hands when getting busy by yourself.

Many Sex Toys Are Made Specifically For G-Spot Stimulation

While fingering will do the job most of the time, many sex toys are created specifically for g-spot stimulation. This means that they’re much better at reaching the right spot than you are, and can often provide stronger and faster stimulation.

Some Of Them Vibrate

Sex toys can vibrate. Enough said!

Sex Toys Don’t Get Cramped Up During Use

While ignoring pain or discomfort in your hands is easier to do when you’re almost there, you don’t have to do that with a sex toy. They never get tired or cramped up during use – if your hands get cramped up right before you reach orgasm and you’re unable to finish, it’s all over and you’re going to be an unhappy camper for the rest of the day!

They Come In Different Sizes, Shapes And Materials

Women like different things during female masturbation, and there are as many different kinds of sex toys out there as there are women (almost). They come in a variety of different sizes and shapes, so each woman can find the one she likes best and is most comfortable with.

Most Sex Toys Will Provide More Than One Kind Of Stimulation At A Time

Yes, you can stimulate your clitoris and your g-spot at the same time with your hands, but do you have a third appendage for your anus as well? Also, can you vibrate your clitoris, rub your g-spot, stimulate your anus and just inside your vaginal canal with rotating beads all at the same time? Nope! But a sex toy can. Sex toys are an excellent way to achieve a blended orgasm!

Cons Of Sex Toys

While a vibrator may be the holy grail of female masturbation for many women, believe it or not there are some downfalls to using a sex toy when you’re pleasuring yourself.

They’re More Conspicuous And Harder To Hide

If you get caught fingering yourself, it’s super easy to yank your hands out of your pants and pretend you really weren’t doing anything at all – and you may very well get away with it. Getting caught with a sex toy? Not so much. They’re harder to hide (especially if yours is a vibrating rabbit or a large dildo) and can be very loud if they vibrate. Many of them can’t be taken with you places and can’t be explained away if you get caught using them.

If you want a vibrator that is quiet and easy to tuck away, try smaller, portable ones that don’t require batteries. These tend to be quieter and can easily be stashed in your pocket or purse.

Toys Do Wear Out

Eventually, even your most loved sex toy will bite the dust. It may last you years if it’s produced by a trusted manufacturer and made with quality materials, but eventually, you’ll have to say goodbye to it. Your hands are with you forever.

Many Need Batteries Replaced Or Recharging

Sex toys that require batteries or recharging can be inconvenient. Rechargeable vibrators are less inconvenient than battery operated ones (it’s a pain to continually have to buy batteries every time you’re at the store), but if you’ve ever had a vibrator die on you when you’re thisclose to climax, you may swear by your hands from then on.

Some Of Them Aren’t As Easy To Clean

Some sex toys have lots of crevices and crannies that can get bodily fluids stuck in them – and require intense cleaning if you don’t want your toy to get funky. In some cases, they require special cleaners and can’t be cleaned with traditional soap and water. Other toys aren’t waterproof, so they can’t be wiped down. Nothing can be cleaner than your hands after a good old fashioned wash!

Sex Toys: Man Vs. Vibrator

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Sex toys are great, but REAL sex is better, right?

In very recent human history, discussion of women’s sexuality has become increasingly acceptable, and her gratification is becoming just as important as a man’s. We are studying the female body more closely, unlocking the secrets to pleasure centers of which we had little previous knowledge. You can practically get a vibrator on every street corner (it’s true, they sell them at American Apparel). And vibrators are vastly superior to men at producing orgasms.

Vibrators Are Not Obsessed With Their Own Penises

The vibrator’s sole function is to get a woman off. It is not frantically poking away at her most sensitive bits muttering, “Come one, come on,” under its breath because it wants to get through her stupid orgasm as quickly as possible so it can get onto its own climax. Instead, a vibrator is very giving. It doesn’t care about it’s own pleasure, and it won’t rush a woman through sex just to get off. It is there for her and her alone.

They Never Complain About Her Smell

No vibrator has ever complained about the way she smells. Just as men are always obsessing about their size, women are worried about their vaginal odor. The fact that it doesn’t naturally taste like passion fruit doesn’t help the insecurity.  Many women have had men comment on their vaginal odor, even when they’re clean and fresh. Sex toys, on the other hand, won’t say a single word.

Let’s face it – your testicles don’t always smell like a bed of roses, now do they? Genitals – male or female – are usually trapped in a pair of pants all day and by the time you get home, you’re probably ready for a shower. Even after a shower, you’re genitals are going to smell like…well, genitals. If you’re uncomfortable with cunnilingus, that is fine. Just don’t make a big deal about how much you hate the taste or smell, or she’ll never be able to get wet with you again.

Vibrators Maintain A Rhythm

They don’t gently stroke her for a minute or two, then audibly sigh, and increase speed and pressure for another minute or two, and then again audibly sigh and repeat until her clit feels so attacked it’s running in fear. Contrary to general male practices, this is not the proper method of stimulation. The rhythm and pressure need to be consistent. It needs to start out slow and then increase as she gets more and more aroused, and many vibrators are programmed to do just this.

However fast or hard you do it depends on the woman and the day, but whatever it is, keep it going. Once you find something she really seems to like, make sure you stick to that move and only that move.  If you get too jerky she’ll be thinking, “What the hell is he doing?” and not, “Oh, this feels so good.” If you change it up, she’ll never reach orgasm. Worse, if you change it up just as she’s ready to climax, you’ll ruin everything.

You want relax her and allow her to appreciate the sensation. If you’re not creating a soothing rhythm, it interrupts her concentration. However, if she’s screaming, “Faster! Faster!” go ahead and speed up. If she’s giving you directions, make sure you follow them! Some men aren’t so lucky – so whatever she tells you to do, do it without complaint.

Her Vibrator Doesn’t Beg For Sex

It just shows up and does its job when she needs it. If she’s had a long day, or if she’s in the middle of something, or if she’s just plain tired, her vibrator will not whine or complain or try to guilt her into using it. Her vibrator patiently waits for HER to be ready. When she is feeling horny, her vibrator has not irritated her to the point of being inutile in relation to her pleasure. And her vibrator has probably lasted longer than most of her relationships.

A Sex Toy Can’t Replace Intimacy

No matter how great sex toys are, they’re not going to replace the much needed intimacy between a man and a woman. This is where YOU come out ahead! So don’t be more concerned with your own orgasm than hers and don’t complain about how she smells or tastes. Maintain a steady rhythm and don’t pressure her to get busy when she doesn’t want to. If you do all of these things AND give her a great emotional connection, she may never go back to her vibrator again.