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Q&A: Losing My Erection – Am I Gay?

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Losing your erection can be frightening, especially if you’re not sure why. There are lots of reasons that men lose their erections, whether they’re young, old, gay or straight. If you find yourself unexpectedly losing your erection, you’re probably wondering what it’s all about – and how to fix it. Here’s what to do when you start going soft.

Question: I have a problem with sex. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 months now. We’ve had sex for couple times. If we make out I get an erection, but if i want to have sex with her, my erection just goes away. If I masturbate with my friends together, I will get a really hard and long-lasting erection. Do you think I am gay?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfmIUPBrLsg&feature=channel[/youtube]

Pressure To Perform

Very few men are able to get it on when they’re under intense pressure to perform. If you’re in a new relationship and you feel like your partner is really scrutinizing your every move and sizing you up (literally and figuratively) you’ll probably be a bit nervous when it’s time for the lights to go out. It is not at all uncommon for this type of sexual pressure to cause men to lose their erection or to make it difficult to achieve an erection at all.

What Do You Fantasize About?

If you’re wondering if losing your erection around a woman makes you gay, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Going soft when you’re with a woman doesn’t make you gay and it’s not at all an indicator of whether you might be gay or bisexual at all. What you fantasize about when you’re masturbating or having sex is the best way to tell if you’re truly gay or not. If you’re with a woman and wish you were with a man or fantasize about having sex with a man, you might be gay or bisexual. Otherwise, don’t stress if you’re just having some erection issues. It doesn’t have anything to do with your sexual orientation.

Sexual Comfort

Many men experience erectile problems when they’re not in their comfort zone. If you’re with a new partner and in a new relationship, you’re not going to be as comfortable sexually than if you’re with your friends or with someone you’ve been with before and are comfortable with. Even if you’re masturbating with your friends and your friends are guys, it doesn’t mean you’re gay if you consistently achieve a long lasting erection when you’re with them. It may be solely that you’re in a comfortable situation where you’re not feeling pressured to perform and you can relax enough to focus on your own pleasure. Try getting to know your partner outside of sex. Get to know them as a person and as a friend. When you do have sex with your partner, find a place that is comfortable for you, such as your home or your bed. Going to her home or even having sex in the car may make you uncomfortable enough to lose your erection. Give your relationship time. You may find that your problem resolves itself when you get to know your partner and your relationship becomes more solid.

Q&A: Losing Erection When Masturbating: Is That Normal?

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Many men have experienced the loss of their erection at one time or another, whether it was just once or twice or is a regular occurence. If you lose your erection during masturbation, does it mean you have erectile dysfunction? Here’s what to do if you find yourself going soft just when you want it to be hard.

Question: Is it normal for an erection to go down quickly if you stop masturbating?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLE1rsn456M[/youtube]

Losing Your Arousal

Whether you’re having sex or masturbating, if you get distracted in some way or lose your arousal at all, it’s perfectly normal for your penis to lose its erection and become flaccid and soft. You might have just had a random picture of your mother in law pop into your head or the phone rang or someone came to the door and interrupted you. If you’ve stopped masturbating all of a sudden for some reason, you will most likely lose your erection if you don’t get back to it quick enough. The same goes for having sex. If you stop out of nowhere and stop giving your penis adequate stimulation, you will definitely go soft. You may go soft right away or it may take just a few minutes. Annoying, yes. Something you should be worried about? Absolutely not.

After Ejaculation

After you ejaculate, whether you’re having sex or masturbating, it’s normal for the penis to go soft pretty quickly. After ejaculation, your penis senses that its work is done and it doesn’t need to be at the ready anymore. Some men go soft pretty much right after having an orgasm, while others stay hard for just a little longer. Longer erections can occur with certain medications, including Viagra, even after you’ve ejaculated. If you experience a persistent erection for longer than 4 hours, call your doctor or go to the emergency room immediately.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is something that is more common among older men, but it can happen at any age. If you find your penis losing its erection during sex or masturbation, regardless of how much you stimulate it, you might have erectile dysfunction. Having ED doesn’t mean that your sex life is over – in fact, many men who have erectile dysfunction lead normal, healthy and satisfying sex lives. If you routinely have problems with your erection, it’s time for you to see your doctor. They can lead you in the right direction. Don’t worry about being embarassed – you won’t be their first case of erectile issues and you certainly won’t be their last. No question is silly or stupid and if you’re uncomfortable with your current doctor, see another one that you’re more comfortable talking about your erectile issues with. It’s important to find the root of the problem here, because erectile dysfunction can be caused by either physical or emotional problems or a mixture of both. Your doctor may refer you to a sex therapist or a more specialized doctor, or they may decide to treat you themselves. Either way, you don’t have to live with erectile problems. There are people out there who can help!

Premature Ejaculation: What To Do When IT Happens

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Premature ejaculation: it’s every guy’s fear to ejaculate prematurely, especially before the fun even starts! Unfortunately, it happens more often than we’d like to think about and most of the time, it’s not handled well. Society breeds men to think that premature ejaculation is embarassing and shameful but nobody bothers to tell anyone else what to do about it or how to fix it. Here’s what you can do when premature ejaculation happens to you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6xy3rW8OaQ[/youtube]

The First Time

When you’re with a new woman and things are heating up, you may orgasm too soon, especially if you haven’t had any sexual stimulation for awhile. If this happens to you, be honest with your partner. Don’t freak out, don’t panic and definitely don’t be embarrassed. You can actually turn this situation into a compliment for her. Let her know that she is so hot and she turns you on so much that you couldn’t help yourself. Although the situation may not have turned out the way either of you expected, if you handle the situation with class and confidence, she will be flattered that you are so turned on by her.

The Second Time…And Third Time…And So On

What do you do if you ejaculate prematurely a lot when you have sex or worse, every time you have sex? Is there anything you can do to help improve your stamina or to stop premature ejaculation before it happens?

  • See your doctor. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor about premature ejaculation – you’re not the first person to ejaculate prematurely and you certainly won’t be the last. Your doctor can rule out any medical or physical problems that would cause frequent premature ejaculation.
  • Eat nutritious food and exercise. If you’re fueling your body with empty carbs or greasy food and living a sedentary lifestyle, your body isn’t going to respond to things the way you want it to. Treat your body well and your body will treat you well.
  • Masturbate. Practice lasting longer with yourself. You don’t have to worry about embarassement or rejection when you masturbate. You can practice improving your sexual stamina and find out which things make you ejaculate quickly and which things can make you hold out longer.
  • Wear a condom. Condoms are safe and a great way to protect yourself, but they can also decrease sensitivity enough that you can last longer in bed. It won’t take away all sensation, but you will find that you have to go a little longer to achieve an orgasm. This may not be a bad thing if you find yourself ejaculating prematurely often.
  • Try less stimulating sex positions. If you find a position that really turns you on and makes you orgasm quickly, avoid that position. Try new ones to help yourself last longer.
  • Slow down. Sex doesn’t have to be fast. In fact, slower sex can be more pleasurable for both partners. If you find yourself going too fast, slow it down a little to avoid a premature orgasm.
  • Try Tantra. Tantra teaches you how to control your body and how to control your pleasure during sex.
  • Practice with your partner. When you have open and honest communication with your partner, you can work on improving your stamina together.

Sex Tips For Older Men

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While many men reach their sexual prime in their late 20’s and 30’s, some men are still have an exceptional sex drive when they get older. Unfortunately, society as a whole suggests that the only thing men can do when they get older to have great sex is to take Viagra or an herbal supplement, use penis pumps, etc. Surely, older men have a better sex outlook than that! Here are some great sex tips for the older man.

More Foreplay

As men grow older, they may need more and more stimulation to acheive orgasm or to even become aroused. This is something that simply happens physically, when a man’s body starts to lose testosterone as he ages. Before you go out and buy a bottle of pills, try having more foreplay before sex, or even before masturbation. Women love foreplay, and this can be key to helping you acheive and maintain a healthy erection.

Maintain Good Health

Men with health problems, such as heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and other chronic health conditions, find that their sex life is also affected. Men taking certain medications may experience a decrease in their sex drive or the inability to get or maintain an erection, and men with some health conditions may also experience similar sexual side effects. It is important to see your doctor regularly for checkups and blood tests, and never be afraid to tell your doctor about your sex life and any sexual problems you have been having. Your doctor can help, and some sexual symptoms can indicate health problems your doctor wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Older men in good health report having a better sex life when they feel better, as opposed to men who aren’t physically healthy.

Try New Things

 If intercourse with your partner just doesn’t do it for you anymore, don’t automatically give up. Sex isn’t defined simply by intercourse, there are many varieties of sex that can still be fun at an older age. Try using toys, trying tantra or having anal play, and incorporate oral sex into your foreplay routine for both you and your partner. Remember that sex itself is only part of the intimacy that you share with your partner and that much of it comes from simply having skin to skin contact as well as kissing and hugging.

Don’t Get Stuck In A Rut

Many couples, both young and old, find themselves getting stuck in a sexual rut or routine. This can wreak havoc on an older man’s sex life because with his changing physical status, a sexual routine can quickly fail to keep him aroused. Constantly change your sex life around by trying new things, having sex at different times of the day or in different places. Make a definite effort to keep sex from ever being the same for too long to experience a more satisfying sex life.

Exercise And Eat Healthy

In addition to improving your physical health, exercise and healthy eating can also improve your sexual health as well as your emotional health. It is easy for a man with a changing sex life to become depressed or get down on himself, and staying positive and feeling good about yourself plays a big part in having a satisfying sex life.

3 Proven Tips For Improving Your Sexual Stamina

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Believe it or not, a lot of men have problems with sexual stamina – most of them just don’t last long enough in bed before a girl can get warmed up enough to start to have an orgasm. This can lead to very unsatisfied women! What can you do to improve your sexual stamina so you can spend the kind of time in bed you want – pleasuring your partner and enjoying yourself at the same time?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmV_Vd_QRM4[/youtube]

Rushing Into Penetration

Penetration feels so great to guys that that’s what they’re angling for every time – and often, they rush into it! They’re so ready to get their groove on that they often forget that for a woman to have an orgasm, she needs to be warmed up properly. Most of the time, rushing into vaginal penetration is a huge turn off to women. They often don’t have enough lubrication down there if they’re not turned on, and this can even make for uncomfortable or painful sex. If a guy wants to try to last longer in bed, one popular method to try is using your brain to think of something else – for example, dead puppies or your grandmother naked. This is not the way to go guys! You know that joke about how a man only has enough blood to run either his brain or his penis, but not both at the same time? There’s some truth to that – if you’re thinking about your grandmother naked to try to get yourself to last longer in bed, you’re going to become turned off enough that your penis grows soft. Even if it doesn’t, your partner WILL notice that you’re not paying attention to her and she’ll get even more turned off. So what do you do?

Control Your Breathing

A man’s natural instinct is to start breathing hard and panting when he becomes turned on and engages in sexual activity. To help yourself to last longer, try breathing in and out normally, focusing on taking deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Kind of like when you exercise – there’s a reason they have you breathe that way, you know. To help you last through your workout! You can apply the same concept to sex and help yourself to last longer before you have an orgasm.

Focus On Relaxation

Some men don’t give credit to mental relaxation or meditation, but it can help delay your climax during sex. When you’re penetrating your partner, focus on how it feels instead of focusing on the end result. Center yourself, and be aware of everything around you. Focus on control of the situation and the acceptance of what you’re feeling, but don’t get too deeply involved in any thought you’re having or you’ll end up in situation #1.

Relaxing Your Muscles

Our natural instincts are to tense up our muscles when we’re close to having an orgasm – it’s one of the things that actually helps us to have an orgasm. However, if you’re trying to last longer in bed, tensing up your muscles can actually be counterproductive. If you want to really relax while having sex, try using a different position, such as your woman on top, so you can lay back and enjoy the sex, rather than thrust and be in control of it.