I have had many people ask me if it really is possible to know when a woman is faking an orgasm. My answer to that question is yes, if you are extremely alert.

However, why spend so much time trying to find out if she’s faking an orgasm when you can rather spend that time learning different techniques in cunnilingus, fingering and intercourse. 

More importantly, why not spend that time to learn what your woman’s sexual wants and needs are in the bedroom. By doing that, you won’t ever have to wonder if she is faking it or not.

Why Is She Faking Her Orgasm?

If your woman truly is faking an orgasm, it is because she does not want to hurt your feelings. So, the only way to make sure that she never does this again, is by allowing her to be open with you in the bedroom.

Take the initiative to be the first to open the communication channels between yourself and your partner. Make her feel totally relaxed and comfortable when she is with you. The way to do this is by showing her that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

For example, if you make a small yet embarrassing mistake during a lovemaking session, don’t just keep it quiet. Instead, acknowledge it in front of her, and then laugh it off.

By doing this, you will show your partner that if things don’t go the way they should when making love, you won’t get all upset and act like you have just lost your manhood.

Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

By not taking yourself too seriously, you will show your woman that you are open to criticism, and that if all still fails in the end, it doesn’t matter, because you are both just having fun. Once she has opened up, take the opportunity to ask her what really gets her going.

Let her know that you are open and ready to do whatever it takes to please her, and that you lay no judgment on her for showing you. Do it in a fun way so that it does not look like a science project, and never feel frustrated or anxious if you do not get it right the first time.

By applying this type of mindset, you will make it easier for your woman to be open with you. This will then allow her to openly tell you what her deepest and darkest desires are.

Think About What Faking An Orgasm Really Means

Faking an orgasm spells "miscommunication between two lovers". Both are afraid to open up to each other, because both feel the other might get upset or judge them incorrectly.

So really, if you read between the lines, you will realize that each partner has a common goal, and that goal is to please the other, even if it means not hurting the other’s feelings. Unfortunately, the outcome is disastrous, because both shoot themselves in the foot. Someone needs to break the ice, so why not take the lead and let it be you?

By spending your valuable time on being open, and learning to accept your other half for who they are, you will be paving the way for a much healthier, passionate sex life between the two of you.

So ask yourself seriously, what sounds more productive; Finding out if she is faking an orgasm in the hopes that one day you can catch her out and embarrass her, which in the end will make your woman close up even more in the hopes that you never catch her out again, or rather spending the time to learn how to prevent your woman from faking an orgasm by learning how to communicate openly and not take yourself  so seriously, so that both parties can actually learn to enjoy a night of passionate sex.

You decide.

It’s every sexually active man’s fear, that his partner or partners have or are faking their orgasms. So is there a way to tell if a girl’s only acting like she’s in pleasure heaven? And what can a guy do to turn her amateur dramatics into fully blown, sexual satisfaction?

The female orgasm has always been shrouded in mystery for men (and many women!). Unlike a guy’s guaranteed sexual pay-off, a female orgasm is never a certainty; for it to occur at all requires a whole host of special requirements to be met.

Things like the male’s sexual technique, the woman’s knowledge of how her body works and responds to different things, and the female’s mood at the time of sex all play a part in either preventing or allowing an orgasm to take place.

So let’s tackle the first issue: what signs should you look for to tell if a girl’s putting it on in the sack and not really reaching her ultimate climax?

1st Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

BLOOD FLOW SIGNALS. When a woman is sexually aroused, the blood flow to specific parts of her body change. These changes are most notable (and useful to us guys!) when a woman climaxes by reaching an orgasm. Here are the Blood Flow Signals you should watch out for:

A. Watch her cheeks as you have sex and take note of how red or blushed they are. When a girl climaxes, the blood flow to her face typically increases, you’ll often notice her cheeks suddenly become more pink and flushed.

B. Another part of the body that receives an increased flow of blood when a woman reaches orgasm is the nipples – again, try to watch out for how they change as you have sex and especially when she appears to be having an orgasm. If she IS truly cumming, her nipples may very well become harder and more “erect”.

C. Her chest is another GREAT place to notice the after-effects of an orgasm. A massive percentage of women, right after they climax, have a red flush on their chests that almost looks like a light rash. If your girl has this, it’s a strong sign she’s just achieved the magic “O.”

D. Lastly, her vagina’s lips (labia). Look for a slight swelling and reddening as another indication that she’s not play-acting her ultimate pleasure.

2nd Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

The above blood flow signals are usually noticed just after a woman’s climaxed. This sign is noticeable only when she’s actually experiencing an orgasm. Try to feel or sense tiny contractions in her vagina. These twitches often happen as a natural result of what a woman is psychically going through and feeling and serve as a really good, accurate indicator of whether or not she’s actually cumming.

3rd Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

When they reach orgasm, most women sort of zone out for a moment and then, over the 15-20 seconds that follow their climax, slowly come “back around.” Look for this zoning out effect by watching her eyes after she supposedly cums. Do they look sort of glazed or glassy, even for just a few seconds?

The good thing about this sign is that women rarely ever try to or even know how to fake it, so when you DO notice it, it actually tends to mean something significant (and positive!).

4th Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

Lastly, consider the way she acts and behaves. When she ‘climaxes’, is it usually from the same kind of stimulation. For example, does she tend to cum most of the time from oral sex or penetrative sex? Is it usually towards the end of your lovemaking or does it seem to happen randomly.

If her orgasms ARE wild and inconsistent and brought about seemingly by completely different kinds of stimulus, there may be something…amiss. Also, does she talk about having an orgasm a lot? Say, after you finish sex, does she often confirm, even without you asking, that she had a great time and came lots? A lot of women do this when they think the man hasn’t believed their orgasmic reactions, so consider what she says and the way she says it carefully.

Overall, your goal is never to be a private investigator in bed. You simply want to know if she’s being satisfied or not, right? To help you ascertain whether or not you’re regularly bringing her to orgasm, look for the 4 signs and signals you’ve just read.

If you DO think she’s faking it, I recommend first talking to her about it. But then, as the real answer to the problem, you should pick up your game and learn exactly how to physically satisfy her, or for that matter, any woman. There are dozens of techniques and strategies for doing this, all ready to be learned and applied to your sex life…so don’t wait any longer to revolutionize your performance and ability in bed.

So you’re not able to orgasm with your partner – you’re not alone.  That said, it can be more than frustrating and enough to make you swear off sexual activity all together.

Some women are unable to have an orgasm at all, but the vast majority are women that can have an orgasm – by themselves.  What can you do if you’re only able to reach the big “O” when you’re flying solo?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve only been  able to orgasm through masturbation while I visualize my private fantasies and feel comfortably alone. My boyfriend and I have been trying to get me to orgasm with oral sex or anything without sex.

Do you have any advice on how to relax and orgasm in the presence of my boyfriend?  Or with my boyfriend doing it to me without having sex?

–Carmen,Arizona

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKOIHfhLODg[/youtube]

Realize there’s an emotional factor

For women, sexual activity – of any kind – is an extremely emotional and private matter.  For you to be able to share your orgasm with your partner, you need to trust your partner and feel completely comfortable in their presence.

Sure, you may feel comfortable naked in their presence, but what about being emotionally naked?  If you trust your partner, you’ll be able to lay out your deepest fantasies and desires without the fear of rejection or shame.  If your foundation of trust isn’t at its strongest, work on that before you worry about having an orgasm with your partner.

Go slow.

You’ve established a trusting, emotional connection with your partner and now you’re ready for more.  It’s time to lay it all out there – what turns you on?  How do you like to be touched?  What feels good to you?  Sharing these things with your partner can help them know what will bring you to orgasm.

Don’t be afraid to guide your partner in the right direction – you know what you want but it’s not going to do anyone any good if you keep it all to yourself.  If you feel ready to take the next step, start slow.  You don’t have to take the plunge all at once.  Go step by step until you’re comfortable with a little more and a little more.

Try mutual masturbation.

Sure, it sounds embarrassing.  Really embarrassing.  It doesn’t have to be, especially if you and your partner are completely comfortable around each other.  Mutual masturbation can help “break the ice” before experiencing an orgasm with your partner.  You’re not on completely foreign territory here – you’re pleasuring yourself with tried and true methods but you can experience an orgasm in the presence of your partner.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised to find out that it’s not as bad as it sounds!  If you’re still a little nervous about masturbating with your partner, try it with the lights completely out.  It may make you feel more comfortable releasing your inhibitions.

Above all, sharing an orgasm with your partner is all about trust.  If you find that you simply cannot experience an orgasm with your partner – even during mutual masturbation – but reaching orgasm by masturbation alone is not a problem, you may have deeper seated trust issues with your partner that you need to work through.

More often than not, however, you’ll find that letting go of your fears and letting your partner in is more emotionally rewarding than frightening.  You and your partner will have a level of intimacy that you never thought possible when you begin experiencing orgasms together.

Ever seen a porno film? Of course you have! And did you really think that all those ‘climaxes’ were for REAL? Of course not. Many of them were for REEL.

So how can YOU tell the difference if your woman starts to fake her orgasms with you too?

How to Spot a Fake Orgasm

Many men don’t want to admit it, but just because she ‘screams’ doesn’t mean she’s reached her sexual climax. According to studies, 70% to 75% of women don’t reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse. This means if you’re woman has been shouting, kicking and screaming all the time, there’s a 70% to 75% chance she’ been faking an orgasm with you!

Here are some tips to tell if she is ‘faking it’.

She’s too loud

Is she too ‘loud’? Thanks to adult or x-rated movies, we now have this image that if a woman is ‘cumming’ she should be shouting from the top of her lungs (can’t contain the sexual pleasure you know).

Again, this is really just all for ‘show’. Most women who DO experience orgasms say that they are actually not noisy at all. They would rather ‘feel’ the intenseness of cumming rather than to drown it with their own loud voices.

Body language

How is her body reacting? Your woman may be shouting till your neighbors hear her, but is her body displaying the same intense emotions? Her body is not THAT different from yours when YOU reach your climax. As such, her body should also be ‘contracting’ like yours.

For instance, her anus and vagina should be clenching or contracting when she reaches an orgasm. If you’re having sexual intercourse and she’s indicating that she’s cumming, check if you feel a certain ‘tightness’ around your penis.

Why? Because during a real orgasm, a woman’s vagina should be clenching strongly at around 1 contraction every 0.8 seconds. And ‘faking’ this pace is quite difficult to master.

Also, check her skin, is she flushed from all that release of sexual tension? If not, she may be faking it.

How about her eyes? Are her pupils a bit dilated and have that certain glassy sheen? If not and her face registers a ‘blank’, then she’ probably just faked an orgasm.

Do I really want to know?

You may be wondering why you would want to know if she’s faking her orgasms anyway, right? Well, let’s put it this way. Would YOU be interested in sex if you never reached an orgasm? Probably not! What does that spell for your relationship in the future?

So knowing if she’s faking it will enable you to take the necessary steps to make making love better for her. And as you know a sexually satisfied woman, can be verrrrry grateful in bed.

It’s a win-win situation!