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Q&A: It’s My First Time With Another Female

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First time sex with a new partner is always nerve wracking. You don’t know what they like, they don’t know what you like and being nervous is just the icing on the cake. It can be especially nerve wracking if you’re having sex with another person of the same sex for the first time! Here’s how you can handle it and end up having a great time.

Question: Hey you two, my question would be me and my fiancé (who is also female) plans to come visit me in a few months and were planning on you know, doing adult things. Neither one of us has ever been with another female, so both of us are a little nervous about it. How do you get past the first time jitters?

–YouTube Viewer

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Build An Intimate Bond

While you may be really nervous about having sex with your partner for the first time, take some time to focus on building an intimate bond when you first meet your partner. Go out to dinner, have a few glasses of wine and talk, just getting to know each other. Share stories with each other and allow yourself to get comfortable with your partner and vice versa. When you take the conversation home, play a fun sex game like 20 questions or Truth or Dare. Loosen up with your partner and allow yourself to laugh and have a good time before focusing so much on “doing it.” These kinds of sexy games are great at putting you and your partner at ease while setting the mood for a sexy evening with each other.

Remember To Have Fun

A lot of people in this situation end up taking themselves too seriously at first and that can make it even more awkward than it already is. Remember to have fun and relax, and let whatever happens happen. Take it slow, and don’t worry about putting pressure on your partner or yourself to perform. It’s not about getting it right or getting it perfect. Enjoy yourself with your partner and focus on having a good time, even if there are a few bumps along the way. Even if you don’t end up having sex right away or even the first night together, it’s ok. You’re in it for the long haul, so it’s ok to take your time and allow yourself to become comfortable with your partner and comfortable with the situation.

How To Please Another Woman

Learning how to please another woman isn’t difficult, it’s just intimidating. You already have a leg up on the competition, so to speak, because you’re a woman and you know how you like to be touched. Chances are, your partner will like something very similar. If you’re still not sure about how to please another woman, gather some resources on female orgasm and take the orgasm quiz. Read up on how exactly to please your partner move for move. Learning the specific techniques you can use in the bedroom with your partner will give you more confidence when the time comes.

Should I Tell My Parents I’m Gay?

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Discovering that you’re gay and learning to accept who you are is difficult. It’s not an easy road to take.

However, once you’ve accepted yourself, there comes a time that you want your friends and family to accept you as well. Should you tell your parents that you’re gay?

Unfortunately, it’s not necessarily and easy “yes” or “no” answer.

I’m gay! Should I tell my parents? If so, how? When?

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Take A Look At Your Family’s Background

Were you raised in a very strict, religious family? Were your parents raised in a very strict, religious family? What kind of values does your family hold? Take a look at other things that society has accepted and really look at how your family has reacted to that.

Do you have parents or grandparents that are still prejudiced against races other than their own? Do any of your family members still hold outdated beliefs about women and their place in society?

Do you have any friends that are gay or do your parents come into contact with gay people in their daily lives? How do they react to these people?

Really examine your family and feel out how they’ve judged similar situations that have caused society to change its beliefs as a whole. Have your parents changed with the times or do they still hold old fashioned beliefs? Do they hold strict religious beliefs?

Taking a hard look at how they’ve judged similar situations will help you determine whether or not its best to tell you’re parents that you’re gay at this time in your life.

When To Tell

Telling your parents that you’re gay might not be best when you’re young.

Your parents may react very strongly to the news, whether they’ve suspected it or not, and you need to make sure you have a solid support system of friends, a home, a job and anything else you might need to get you through a tough time should your parents decide this is not news they’re willing to accept.

It can be incredibly painful when parents decide they’re not ready to accept a child being gay, and its important that you take steps to make sure you’ll be okay should that happen. Waiting until you’re older may be a wise decision.

Other Things To Consider

It’s also important to take into account how you feel about the situation. Is it very important that you tell your parents how you feel about your sexual orientation? If telling your parents is a very big deal to you, it may be worth it to go ahead and tell them regardless of how they might react to the news.

Remember that if your family members should decide that they’re not able to accept the fact that you’re gay right now, they most likely will warm up to it in the future. They may never be in favor of you being gay, but they will most likely come to a point where they accept you for who you are because they love you.

Keep in mind that your parents raised you. They may already suspect that you’re gay whether you’ve said anything or not.

If they’ve been asking whether you’re gay or not, it may mean that they are already suspicious of it or that they’re ready to know. Take some time to decide if telling them is the right thing for you, and if you decide not to tell them now, you can certainly do it later when the timing feels right to you.