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Q&A: Frustrated Girl Unable To Orgasm

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Many women have trouble reaching orgasm during sex. While some women are able to give themselves multiple orgasms or different kinds of orgasms, other women struggle to reach climax. If you’re having a hard time having an orgasm – through sex or masturbation – you’re not alone. Here’s how to overcome it.

Question: I am a healthy female & I love sex. However, I cannot pleasure myself! How can I tell my boyfriend what to do when I don’t know for myself? I have a vibrator which feels good but I can’t seem to give myself an orgasm with that, or without. I get to a point where I am right there, but then I suddenly get too sensitive to the point where it uncomfortable and I get turned off.

I have had about 5 orgasms in my life, two being with my boyfriend because he can reach my G-spot where as I can’t. The other three were long ago. How can I get my body to stop being dumb and let me have an orgasm? Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bldbrev9_nI[/youtube]

Experiment With Pleasure

There are lots of different ways to stimulate yourself and lots of different ways for your partner to stimulate you. Experiment with different rhythms, pressures and positions to find what you like best. If your vibrator isn’t doing it for you, try looking for another one. Try a vibrator that allows for both clitoral, vaginal and g-spot stimulation or try one that you can use with your partner. Try different sex positions with your partner, including doggy style and woman on top. The important thing when you’re experimenting with pleasure is not to get obsessed with not being able to have an orgasm. Just relax and have fun. Enjoy yourself and let whatever happens happen.

Physical Simulation vs. Emotional Stimulation

For many women who can’t have an orgasm, it’s not purely about the type of physical stimulation that she’s receiving. For a great orgasm, a woman needs emotional stimulation as well. While this is not always the case – because many women are able to have great casual sex and reach orgasm that way successfully – a lot of women in relationships have a hard time reaching orgasm because they’re just not as emotionally connected to their partner as they need to be. Try talking to your partner. Have a good, open conversation about anything. Share opinions with each other and work towards being emotionally closer together. You’ll be surprised at how much better sex can be when you’re on the same mental and emotional page as your partner!

Don’t Give Up!

Women who struggle with reaching orgasm through sex or masturbation don’t have to suffer alone. Many women go through this and there’s help out there! Grab a few books or a DVD that teaches women the best tips for masturbation, or watch a few sex instruction videos with your partner to get a few new ideas. If you continue to have difficulty with sexual pleasure, visit your doctor. He or she can rule out any medical reasons why you aren’t able to reach orgasm during sex. You can also visit a sex therapist, who will dig a little deeper and try to discover the root of the problem to help you reach a solution. Just don’t give up! Every women is able to have an orgasm – her body was built for it.

Q&A: Losing Erection When Masturbating: Is That Normal?

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Many men have experienced the loss of their erection at one time or another, whether it was just once or twice or is a regular occurence. If you lose your erection during masturbation, does it mean you have erectile dysfunction? Here’s what to do if you find yourself going soft just when you want it to be hard.

Question: Is it normal for an erection to go down quickly if you stop masturbating?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLE1rsn456M[/youtube]

Losing Your Arousal

Whether you’re having sex or masturbating, if you get distracted in some way or lose your arousal at all, it’s perfectly normal for your penis to lose its erection and become flaccid and soft. You might have just had a random picture of your mother in law pop into your head or the phone rang or someone came to the door and interrupted you. If you’ve stopped masturbating all of a sudden for some reason, you will most likely lose your erection if you don’t get back to it quick enough. The same goes for having sex. If you stop out of nowhere and stop giving your penis adequate stimulation, you will definitely go soft. You may go soft right away or it may take just a few minutes. Annoying, yes. Something you should be worried about? Absolutely not.

After Ejaculation

After you ejaculate, whether you’re having sex or masturbating, it’s normal for the penis to go soft pretty quickly. After ejaculation, your penis senses that its work is done and it doesn’t need to be at the ready anymore. Some men go soft pretty much right after having an orgasm, while others stay hard for just a little longer. Longer erections can occur with certain medications, including Viagra, even after you’ve ejaculated. If you experience a persistent erection for longer than 4 hours, call your doctor or go to the emergency room immediately.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is something that is more common among older men, but it can happen at any age. If you find your penis losing its erection during sex or masturbation, regardless of how much you stimulate it, you might have erectile dysfunction. Having ED doesn’t mean that your sex life is over – in fact, many men who have erectile dysfunction lead normal, healthy and satisfying sex lives. If you routinely have problems with your erection, it’s time for you to see your doctor. They can lead you in the right direction. Don’t worry about being embarassed – you won’t be their first case of erectile issues and you certainly won’t be their last. No question is silly or stupid and if you’re uncomfortable with your current doctor, see another one that you’re more comfortable talking about your erectile issues with. It’s important to find the root of the problem here, because erectile dysfunction can be caused by either physical or emotional problems or a mixture of both. Your doctor may refer you to a sex therapist or a more specialized doctor, or they may decide to treat you themselves. Either way, you don’t have to live with erectile problems. There are people out there who can help!

Q&A: Long Distance Sex Toys – a.k.a. Teledildonics

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With long distance relationships, one of the toughest obstacles is feeling physically intimate with your partner. Fortunately, with the advance of webcams and voice chat, you can feel like you’re in the same room as your partner! Here’s the newest technology for long distance sex toys, also known as teledildonics.

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn! Firstly, thanks for answering my last question. I’m in a long distance relationship at the moment – I’m in Denmark and my boyfriend is in Turkey. Our relationship is great and we fulfill our needs over webcam often, but I was wondering if there was any remote control sex toys that could work over that distance? I could send it to him and give him control over my sexual pleasure! I love your show and you both have always been very helpful to me, so thanks and have a wonderful day!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m60V-Kgir5o[/youtube]

Advances In Sex Toy Technology

While remote control vibrators have been around for awhile, teledildonics hasn’t. Remote control vibrators are usually battery powered, and the remote has a very short receiving distance. These types of vibrators are great for spicing up sex play in the bedroom (or another room) with your partner but have no real application for long distance relationships. Teledildonics, on the other hand, allow partners over long distances to control each other’s sex toys over the Internet. Imagine being able to give your partner an orgasm from thousands of miles away!

Teledildonic Sex Toys For Her

In the future, we will see more options available for teledildonic sex toys, but right now the best toy out there for her is an Internet enabled rabbit vibrator. The rabbit vibrator is one of the most popular vibrators available for women, allowing for penetration, g-spot stimulation and clitoral tickling all in one. The Internet enabled rabbit allows your partner to control your vibrator from wherever he is. He can choose when to tickle your clit, when to stimulate your g-spot and how hard or fast he wants it to go. With this teledildonic sex toy, your orgasm is completely in the hands of your partner! This is an excellent option for couples in long distance relationships or those where one or both partners are away on business often.

Teledildonic Sex Toys For Him

The Real Touch teledildonic masturbator is one of the most revolutionary male masturbators available on the market. This device is designed to be used in conjunction with adult videos, and uses USB technology to sync the motions of the Real Touch with what the adult video star is doing onscreen. The Real Touch offers gentle heat to simulate natural body heat and a lubricant dispenser to mimic the way a woman’s vagina will lubricate itself during sex. While the Real Touch device can be somewhat difficult to clean as it cannot be submerged in water or placed in your dishwasher, many men will enjoy the ability to masturbate completely hands free. This is an excellent teledildonic sex toy for long distance relationships, but it can also be used by any man who wants a revolutionary masturbatory experience.

Q&A: What To Do When Masturbation Gets Boring

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While masturbation is a great way to satisfy your desire for sexual pleasure whether you’re a man or a woman, sometimes it can get boring if you’re doing it the same way every time. Here’s what you can do if you want to spice up masturbation and make it more pleasurable, whether you’re single or are waiting to have sex until you’re married.

Question: My problem is with masturbation and I like to do so every so often but it’s gotten boring to me. What would you suggest I do to spice it up? Twist? Bend? Masturbate harder? I need help so that I can stay a virgin until I marry my girlfriend!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yLGv5h-JmQ[/youtube]

Focusing On Different Fantasies

Having mental involvement with masturbation is one of the best ways to make masturbation better and more pleasurable. Try thinking about different fantasies while masturbating, or even try adding some visual stimulation like pornography or erotic novels if they work with your fantasies. Think of different things that really turn you on and incorporate them during masturbation. You may not be changing your physical masturbation techniques at all, but you’ll notice a big difference in the pleasure factor if you’re fantasizing about something that really gets you hot. There are a thousands and thousands of different magazines, videos and books out there, so there is definitely something for everyone no matter what your favorite flavor is.

Masturbation Toys

There are hundreds of masturbation toys available for both men and women. Women can experiment with different types of vibrators and dildos, experimenting with different sizes, shapes and textures to mix things up during masturbation. For different masturbation sensations, men can try a variety of male masturbation toys. Soft silicone masturbation sleeves with different textures can give you lots of different feelings during masturbation and make masturbation even more satisfying. Try going online and taking a look at the variety of male masturbation toys that you can buy, and look at ones that have different shapes and textures like studded or ribbed. You can even get a masturbation sleeve that was molded from an adult movie star’s genitals to go with your favorite movie if that turns you on. There are lots of ways to incorporate toys into masturbation, you just have to be a little creative and see what’s out there!

Are You Reaching Orgasm With Masturbation?

Most men do reach orgasm during masturbation, but many women do not, leaving them unsatisfied and always wanting more. If masturbation is getting boring for you or doesn’t seem to be satisfying you sexually, make sure you’re actually reaching the finish line. If you masturbate without actually reaching orgasm, you won’t get the sexual satisfaction your body needs and will pretty much be in a perpetual state of sexual desire. Make sure you’re having an orgasm at the end of each masturbation session. If you do reach orgasm after masturbating and still don’t feel satisfied afterwards, your body may actually be desiring multiple orgasms. Don’t short yourself! Give yourself plenty of time to masturbate without being interrupted so that you have the freedom to have as many orgasms as you need while masturbating to feel satisfied afterwards.

Q&A: Are There Side Effects To Masturbation – Good Or Bad?

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Masturbation is an absolutely normal, healthy part of your sex life whether you’re a guy or a girl. But pretty much everything has side effects, right? Does masturbation have any potential side effects, both good and bad? What can you expect from masturbation and what is the best way to handle it?

Question: Are there any side effects to masturbation? Is it true that if you masturbate on a daily basis, when you have sex with your girlfriend you won’t be as aroused or you won’t crave the sex as much? Can it affect penis size or growth?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uio4226XLe8[/youtube]

Penis Size And Growth

Masturbation – even frequent masturbation – won’t affect your penis size or penis growth. Masturbation won’t affect puberty at all, so you don’t have to worry about masturbation stunting your growth or causing weight gain. If you masturbate often without proper lubricant, you might end up a little raw or sore, but there are no growth side effects from masturbation at all. Masturbation definitely won’t give you hairy palms or make you go blind either. Masturbation, if not in excess, is normal and healthy for both men and women.

Using Masturbation To Decrease Need For Sex

Many men, both teenagers and adults, have a very prominent sex drive. They enjoy sex and want it often. If they are sexually active, they’re usually very excited and it can cause a man to climax very quickly or even prematurely before sex. Masturbation can be used to “calm” a man down before sex, allowing him to slow down and enjoy it more. His body won’t be in such an extreme state of desire that he is completely focused on sex. Men who have very active sex drives may find that masturbation helps them to lead a more normal, satisfying life. Other men, however, may have the opposite effect from masturbation. They may find that masturbation satisfies their need for sexual pleasure so thoroughly that they aren’t able to climax or even become erect when having sex with their partners. Experiment with masturbation before sex and see how it affects you. You may find that you don’t need to masturbate at all if you’re with someone with whom you have sex with regularly, or you may find that you need to masturbate often in addition to having sex to truly satisfy your needs and make your sex life more enjoyable.

Are You Addicted To Masturbation?

Masturbation – just like sex, drugs, cigarettes, food and alcohol – can be addicting. If you find yourself masturbating very often, daily or even more than once a day, you may be addicted to masturbation. Ask yourself a few questions. Do you find that you’re masturbating out of habit, without even thinking about it? Do you find that masturbating is interfering with your life? Are you turning down dates or going home after school or work instead of hanging out with your friends so you can masturbate? Masturbation can be addicting and it is possible to break the addiction and have good, healthy masturbation instead. Consider talking to a sex therapist or a counselor if you find that you may be addicted to masturbation.