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You are here: Home / Archives for kinky sex

Clitoris Pump – What Is The Female Version Of A Penis Pump?

By loveandsex

Sex toys come in every size, shape and color and sex toys for men have become just as popular as they are for women. A penis pump, for example, is one of the best selling male sex toys there is. A clitoris pump – the female version of a penis pump – is made to function the same way. What is a clitoris pump and how is it used? Here’s what you want to know:

What Function It Serves

Any pump – whether it be a penis pump or one for the clitoris and labia – is designed to force more blood into the genital tissue, enhancing the sensitivity of whatever has been pumped. After pumping, the shaft and head of the penis or the clitoris and labia are engorged with blood and can be much more receptive to any kind of stimulation.

Some men who experience erectile dysfunction may use a penis pump to achieve and maintain an erection, while other men simply use a penis pump to enhance sexual sensations during intercourse with a partner or during masturbation. Women who use a clitoris pump do so for many of the same reasons. Some women may have trouble achieving an orgasm, and a clitoris pump may help the genital tissue become more sensitive and make it easier for a woman to reach climax.

A clitoris pump may also be used by couples to increase friction during intercourse, as many men and women have reported after using a clitoris pump that the vagina looks and feels much tighter.

Different Types Of Pumps

Just as there are all kinds of different sex toys, there are also different styles of clitoris pumps as well. A simple pump will basically consist of a wide plastic mouth that is placed over the vulva, with a tube going to a soft hand bulb. Some clitoris pumps will have attachments on the inside designed for clitoral stimulation during use, while others will have a vibrating bullet attached to the mouth of the pump for even more sensations.

Some clitoris pumps are designed to cover the entire vulva (both the clitoris and the labia) while others are much smaller and are designed to be placed over the clitoris only. When the genital tissues have been pumped up, they usually go back to their normal size within a matter of seconds or minutes, depending on how long the pumping lasted in the first place.

Keeping Things Safe

As with any other types of sex toys, it’s important that you learn how to use the toy properly to get the best results – and to avoid doing damage to your delicate genital tissues in the process. Never, ever use an actual vacuum instead of a pump, regardless of whether you’re male or female. The suction on a vacuum is much, much more powerful than a penis pump or a clitoris pump and can actually cause the blood vessels and capillaries inside the genital tissue to break – giving you one nasty looking bruise.

In rare cases, people who have used vacuum hoses during masturbation have had to seek emergency medical assistance due to severe engorgement of the genitals. Choose your clitoris pump wisely and select the size that is right for you. Remember to keep it clean and dry when not in use and follow all directions on the packaging.

“Extreme Pumping”

Clitoris and labia pumping to the extreme is considered a form of BDSM and is featured in many fetish videos and porn. With extreme pumping, the clitoris and labia are suctioned and enlarged a great deal, to the point where the genitals appear very swollen and misshapen. This kind of activity can be dangerous, because it too can cause the blood vessels and capillaries to break and the skin to become stretched or bruised. There are lots of fun sexual activities that are fun and don’t hurt!

Trying A Clitoris Pump

If you’re thinking about trying a clitoris pump for yourself, make sure you get one from a reputable company. Go slow, using the suction for only a few seconds or minutes at a time. Gradually build up your tolerance to stronger and stronger suction, until you achieve the desired effect. Just make sure you’re not using too much suction or doing it for too long. Relax and have fun, but if you become uncomfortable at any time or are in any kind of pain, stop immediately!

Filed Under: Sex Toys Tagged With: bdsm, clitoris, fetishes, kinky sex, Sex Toys

BDSM – What Is Erotic Humiliation?

By loveandsex

“BDSM” stands for “bondage, domination, sadism and masochism.” However, this is just a blanket term for many different styles of kinky sex, including fetishes and roleplay, as well as less common activities such as erotic asphyxiation or erotic humilation.

While erotic humiliation isn’t generally as dangerous as activities like erotic asphyxiation, it can be just as fascinating to see exactly what gets different people off. What is erotic humiliation, what does it involve and how would you introduce it or an alternative in the bedroom?

What Is Erotic Humilation?

Erotic humilation is a form of BDSM defined by Wikipedia as the “consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity.”

Depending on whether someone has a dominant or submissive personality, the act of being humiliated or humiliating another during sex can be very arousing for both partners. Rarely does a person enjoy both humiliating and being humiliated and many sexual partnerships are formed because one partner prefers domination while the other prefers submission.

The Difference Between Humiliation And Domination

Many people may confuse erotic humiliation with domination and other forms of BDSM, because the roles are very similar. There is, however, a simple distinction between the two. Those who enjoy dominating others enjoy “commanding” or “ordering” their submissive partner do do something, and the submissive partner enjoys being “commanded” to do something. With humiliation, the dominant partner enjoys verbally or physically belittling their partner, and the submissive partner enjoys being belittled and humiliated just as much.

Verbal Means Of Erotic Humiliation

Depending on the agreement between the dominant and submissive partners, verbal belittlement may or may not be an accepted part of humiliation. However, it is much more common to see verbal belittlement in a humiliation situation than a great deal of physical humiliation. Verbal belittlement during sex might include:

  • Being a human “pet,” complete with collar and leash. This may include eating or drinking out of a pet bowl or off the floor.
  • Name calling such as “slave” or “whore”
  • Belittling the body, suggesting that it is “dirty” or “ugly”
  • Men who enjoy being humiliated may enjoy their partners belittling their penis size
  • Asking for permission to eat or use the restroom
  • Being verbally mocked or ridiculed

Physical Means Of Erotic Humiliation

When couples desire more than verbal belittlement offers, they may decide to move into more physical means of humiliation. This can be something as mild as spanking or can be very extreme. When combined with sexual activities and verbal belittlement, the humiliation factor can be very powerful. Many dom/sub couples may choose to forgo the physical aspect, or they may participate with a lighter attitude. Physical humiliation might include activities like:

  • Being slapped on the rear or in the face
  • Having the hair pulled
  • Ejaculating in the face or on the body
  • Being required to perform oral sex on the dominant partner without getting anything in return
  • Being forced to worship the body of the dominant partner
  • Physical punishment such as spanking or whipping when the submissive partner is “disobedient”
  • Torture of the nipples or the genitals

How To Approach Erotic Humilation In Your Relationship

If you’re interested in erotic humilation, you may be unsure of how to approach the subject with your partner. Remember that while being open and honest about your sex fantasies is extremely important, going slow and giving your partner time to warm up to the idea is even more so.

The first step is to determine which of you has a dominant personality and which of you has a submissive one. If you and your lover are both dominant or both submissive, erotic humiliation is generally something that won’t work well in your sexual relationship. Ease into it slowly, by introducing one new concept at a time and only when your partner seems ready for it.

If You’re A Sub

  • Offer to be you lover’s sex slave for the day and see what happens
  • Tell your partner you’d love to be spanked during sex
  • Come to bed wearing a collar
  • Experiment with handcuffs and bondage
  • Ask him to call you his “slut” or his “whore”

If You’re A Dom

  • Pinch your partner’s nipples during sex (not too hard without the green light first)
  • Ask your partner if they’ll be your sex slave for the day
  • Go shopping with your partner for sexy accessories, like collars or tiaras
  • Ask your partner to give you a blowjob or go down on you without reciprocation
  • Ask your partner to let you ejaculate on their face

Special Note: Never be derogatory or dominant towards your partner without their knowing and consent first. Not letting your lover in on what’s going on before verbally belittling them or physically humiliating them will only end very, very badly.

Pubic Humiliation

Another aspect of erotic humiliation which may be arousing to both partners is public humiliation. Sometimes, consenting partners will use verbal belittlement in public and very rarely will they humiliate physically in public. However, some couples may be part of groups that also enjoy this activity and may have “sex parties” in where one or more subs are humiliated in front of the crowd.

Alternatives To Extreme Humiliation

If the idea of humiliating your partner or being humiliated turns you on, but you’re not ready to go to the extreme with it, start small and work your way up. Alternatives to more aggressive forms of humiliating might be:

  • Nibbling or biting your partner
  • Spanking or asking to be spanked
  • Light bondage
  • Dirty talk with a dash of humiliation thrown in
  • Online or long distance humiliating

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, domination, fetishes, kinky sex, role play, rough sex, submission

What is Fisting? Is It Safe?

By loveandsex

Rough sex takes on an entirely different meaning when it comes to fisting. Fisting is a sexual activity that is gaining in popularity, but there are still lots of questions that surround it. Is it safe to do, or should it be avoided? Are there ways to make fisting safer? Here is what you want to know about fisting and how you can make it as safe as possible.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNqhONOINag[/youtube]

What Is Fisting?

Fisting is considered to fall within the “BDSM” category of sex acts and simply put, it is the act of putting the hand, all the way up to the wrist or forearm, into the vagina or rectum. This is most easily done by forming the hand into a “duck bill” shape where the thumb and all the fingers meet (resembling a duck bill) for easier insertion. Then, the fingers can be moved into a fist shape or wiggled around once the hand is inside.

Fisting can be done alone during masturbation or during sex with a partner to create unique sensations for both men and women.

Is Fisting Safe?

When done properly, fisting can theoretically be safe and even enjoyable for both the giving and receiving partner. However, doing it properly is the key to making sure fisting doesn’t cause bodily harm or damage. Here’s how to keep fisting safe and fun:

  • Go slow. It’s very important that you go very slow when inserting the hand and wrist into a vagina or up the rectum. Going to fast may cause extreme discomfort or pain for your partner, and it may also cause some of the delicate vaginal or anal tissues to stretch too much and tear.
  • Use lots and lots of lube. Water based lube is best for easy clean up, but silicone based lube can be used as well. Do not attempt to try fisting yourself or your partner without a very generous amount of lube! Without lube, you can pretty much guarantee it won’t be comfortable for your partner and the risk of tearing goes up dramatically without the proper amount of lubrication.
  • Don’t use a “pumping” motion. You want to move your hand around during fisting, without taking it all the way out and pumping air into the vagina or rectum. This can cause air embolisms, which can be very dangerous and even cause death.
  • Allow for lots of warm up time and foreplay. When a woman is fully aroused and excited after foreplay, her vagina will relax more, making it easier to insert larger objects.
  • If it hurts, stop!

Fisting The Anus

Fisting the vagina is much safer than fisting the anus. Vaginas are very elastic and made to stretch and accommodate very large objects, because they are designed to give birth. A baby’s head is much larger than a fist, so you can rest assured that after fisting the vagina in a safe way, everything will go back to its normal size and shape.

That said, the rectum is not designed to accommodate objects as large as a fist. Even if you use lots and lots of lube, fisting the rectum can cause pain, discomfort at best and tearing or bleeding at worst. Repeated fisting of the rectum will change the size and shape of the anus, possibly leading to the need for adult diapers in the future because the anal sphincter has lost enough elasticity that it can no longer keep waste inside.

How To Make Anal Fisting Safer

While anal fisting isn’t considered a “safe” sexual activity, there are some things you can do to make it as safe as it can be.

  • Start small and work your way up. Start with small anal sex toys, such as tiny butt plugs, and work your way up to the bigger stuff.
  • Have a “safe” word. If it hurts too much, your partner will use the safe word so you’ll know to stop immediately.

Other Safety Tips To Consider

While taking the above steps to make fisting safer, here are some additional things to think about before you get started.

  • Trim your fingernails. Scrub underneath them and trim them, so there are no sharp corners, hangnails or dirt underneath.
  • Consider using a latex glove. Keep your hands clean and your partner’s anus or vagina bacteria free by simply slipping on a latex glove before fisting.
  • Never use a “numbing” lube. If it hurts, you need to feel it because that means you’re going too far! If you use numbing lubes, you may tear or bleed without realizing it.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, fetishes, kinky sex, rough sex

Kinky Sex: 6 Sex Fetishes You Didn’t Know Existed

By loveandsex

There’s kinky sex and then there’s kinky sex. You may think that a little bondage and some fuzzy handcuffs in the bedroom is pretty out there, but it’s guaranteed that there are dozens (and maybe even hundreds) of different sex fetishes and fantasies that you didn’t even know about. From diapers to stuffed animals to erotic asphyxiation, check out these sex fetishes that you probably didn’t know existed!

Diaper Fetish

If you’ve never heard of a diaper fetish, now you have. People who enjoy diapers while making love (or just enjoy wearing diapers period) are called “diaper lovers” or “adult babies” and contrary to popular belief, they have no interest whatsoever in pedophilia. People who enjoy using diapers during coitus may like to urinate in the diapers or have their partners urinate in them, or may enjoy pulling the diapers to the side to perform oral sex on their lovers. Some adult babies will go so far as to purchase child like pajamas or even use pacifiers while sleeping or while making love. Now that’s kinky sex!

Erotic Asphyxiation

A truly dangerous form of kinky sex, this is one of the sex fetishes you don’t want to mess with. It is more dangerous than pleasurable and is one of the only sex fetishes that can result in death. Either during intercourse or masturbation, a person who enjoys erotic asphyxiation will tie a cord, scarf or other item around their neck to cut off blood and oxygen to the brain during orgasm. This supposedly makes an orgasm much more intense and satisfying. At best, the person who is participating in erotic asphyxiation will pass out at the point of orgasm and come to a little later after the body resumes normal function on its own. At worst, passing out before the cord is untied will cause the brain to go without blood and oxygen too long – causing brain damage (if the person is discovered in time) or death.

Klismaphilia

Klismaphilia is often one of the sex fetishes that people who enjoy anal sex like, and this is a form of kinky sex indeed. Klismaphilia refers to the sexual pleasure that some people derive from giving or receiving an enema. People who enjoy this activity will often fantasize about getting an enema, and will get aroused and may even reach orgasm while getting an enema or during the elimination process. Klismaphiliacs may go to the doctor or hospital to get an enema under the pretense of being constipated, or they may engage in this activity in secret as many adult toy stores offer devices such as enema tools, latex gloves and vaginal speculums for those into medical fetishes.

Hybristophilia

Hybristophilia is a fetish that is described often as the “Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome” where people (most often women) have a sexual fascination with someone who has committed a violent or gruesome crime. Many prisoners with sensationalized murder cases receive “fan mail” in prison from women who have sex fetishes or fantasies about the perpetrators of the crime and may even fantasize about being a part of the crime or witnessing it happening. Since most hybristophiliacs aren’t able to experience this type of kinky sex in person, their sex fetishes are usually expressed during masturbation. Some women, however, have even been known to marry the objects of their affection while they’re in prison. Passive hybristophiliacs often stick to writing letters to violent criminals, while more active hybristophiliacs may even be an accomplice in a heinous crime.

Plushophilia

Plushophiliacs have sex fetishes with stuffed animals or people who wear animal costumes, such as sports mascots or holiday characters such as the Easter Bunny. Men and women who are plushophiliacs may enjoy having intercourse with their partners dressed up in plush costumes, or they may experience this sex fantasy during masturbation with a small stuffed animal. Both men and women can be plushophiliacs, but not all fans of furry critters enjoy them sexually – called “furry fandom.”

Burusera

Burusera is the Japanese equivalent of a “panty fetish.” Men with Burusera style sex fetishes enjoy smelling, touching, masturbating with and even licking a girl’s used panties. This type of kinky sex was so prevalent in Japan at one time, that many Burusera shops existed to cater to clientele that wanted to purchase used panties and swimwear for sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, many more young girls were targeted as providers of used panties than those over the age of 18, so many Burusera shops were shut down and laws were passed to keep young girls from selling their panties to individuals or shops.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: fetishes, kink, kinky sex, sex tips, sexual fantasies

BDSM Around The House – Things You Can Use For BDSM That You Already Have!

By loveandsex

It’s common to want to try a little BDSM and bondage without a trip to the whips-and-chains store. You don’t want to spend the money on expensive toys but it just doesn’t seem like real BDSM without some props. Here’s what you can use for some fun bondage play that you probably already have at your house – or that you can get easily without spending a lot of money.

In Your Kitchen

Using a spatula for light spanking (or hard spanking if that’s what you prefer) might have already crossed your mind, but you might have dismissed it because it seems so cliche. But what about that naughty fantasy of a nearly naked cook punishing you for trying dinner before it was ready? A simple spatula can be a lot of fun with a little imagination. Smooth fruits and vegetables can be used for homemade sex toys, such as using a very large cucumber as a dildo. Make sure it’s clean and smooth, without rotted places or rough places on the surface. NEVER insert anything into the anus that isn’t a sex toy built with a wide base specifically for anal play – it might get lost in there and warrant you and your partner a trip to the emergency room.

In Your Bathroom

A feather duster can feel divine when your partner tickles you up and down your body, especially if alternated with light or firm spanking. You may not, of course, keep a feather duster in your bathroom (or in your house for that matter) but they’re available at virtually every store and are extremely cost effective. They are definitely less expensive than their red and black sexy feather tickler counterparts. While the sexy feathers might seem more enticing, who doesn’t like a nice “French Maid” sex fantasy? You can even bring “bathroom cleaning supplies” such as soap or lotion and offer to clean up your partner’s genitals.

In Your Bedroom

Your bedroom has lots of fun BDSM toys inside, including scarves and ties that can be used for sexy blindfolds and restraints. Bondage may sound played out, but never underestimate the power of being blindfolded and tied up and not knowing what your partner is going to do to you next. Looking for something a little less blase than bondage? Try experimenting with shoes. Even if you don’t have a strong shoe fetish, experimenting with stilettos can be super fun. You can create both pleasure and pain with a sexy high heel and you’ve probably got a really hot pair of heels or even boots lying around somewhere. Don’t forget that your closet is also a great place for sexy costumes, even if you don’t seem to think so. Pair knee high boots with your normal black bra-and panty set for a hot surprise, or put on one of your partner’s white button up shirts and ties for a sexy just-from-the-office strip tease. There are lots of great roleplaying ideas that will utilize clothes you already have, such as a sexy librarian, a school teacher or a sexy pool boy or handyman. When it comes to BDSM, you just have to use your imagination!

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, kinky sex, role play, sex tips, sexual fantasies

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