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Hand Job Tips – A Few Tid Bits On How To Work Your Man’s “Bits”

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Ask most men and they will admit that YES, they have experienced a bad hand job or a bad blow job and of course – everyone has likely had the odd lack-lustre sexual experience. I remember prior to having any sexual expertise under my belt, I referred to a friend who literally wrote me out her ‘tips’ on a piece of paper. Years and experiences later I know realize how valuable those pointers were. Since I believe in continuous learning, I figured I’d share my ‘style’ and perhaps it will contain some little tips for you to put on paper – or better yet, into practice!

Giving A Hand Job

Let us begin with the hand job. Simple as it may sound, being good at this technique means paying a LOT of attention to the reactions he gives you. Of course, every man is different and may like things done in certain ways. My input here carries the weight of having had some experience and some excellent feedback!!

First off, do NOT assume it’s a pull toy – the preferred motion is stroking ‘towards’ his body. From what I know most guys want to experience the same sort of movement from your hands or mouth as they would as if you were having intercourse. Of course there is the standard back and forth jerking that most people know. Now, learn to master that with JUST the right amount of grip (I say imagine holding a peeled banana – lightly enough so you don’t smush it at all but firm enough that you’ll have some banana residue on your hands afterwards).

Once that step has been established it’s time to add the ‘twist’. Imagine grasping your forearm and massaging in a twisting motion, this should be a good indication of the tension you are looking for. If your delivery of the twist contains too much grip it could cause your man to wince in pain instead of pleasure. So, if this is your first attempt at the twist then gradually work your grip – pay CLOSE attention to his response – when he looks to be in ecstasy – THAT’S your sweet spot – this is the grip you want – make a mental note.

Taking It To The Next Level

To take this step to the next level work the back and forth motion with a slight twist and you’ve got a move that will make men drool. Advanced hand jobbers can apply the second hand to this motion – starting in the middle of the shaft and working the hands in a twisting motion base to tip and back to the middle again..(imagine every so lightly wringing out a wet cloth, similar idea here). If he’s not in love, he will be lol! All of these moves are enhanced with the use of lube or saliva as well!

With all of these ‘moves’ I suggest starting slow and gradually building up speed – keep in mind this is not a race though, nor do most people desire these motions to be delivered with super speed. In other words, guys and girls tend to like a ramp up to speed when it comes to being digitally pleasured. Ask for feedback ‘is that good?’ ‘do you want it faster or slower?’ – knowing what your partner enjoys is vital!! Plus, say it in a sexy voice and that just adds to the allure.

What About Blow Jobs?

Regarding blow jobs, from what I’ve heard one of the biggest complaints that men have about receiving a bad blow job (sounds like an oxymoron but it does exist lol!) is that some women suck too hard. When giving a blow job use finesse, keep it wet and loose and ALWAYS bring in the tongue play. Never get into Hoover mode – save that for the hickeys alone! Always remember, soft and wet, take it in, continue to work your hands at the base creating continuous motion.

To drive him over the edge, work your tongue just under the tip, this is one of the most sensitive areas for men guaranteed to drive him wild! One of my signature moves is slow slippery circles of my tongue just under the tip. Most guys love the idea of a woman being able to take him into her mouth deeply. Relax your mouth and once in a while go as far down as you can. Whether you reach the baseline or not, the attempt will be greatly appreciated!! Another no-no would be the use of teeth when giving a blow job. It takes a skilled woman to know how to successfully and ‘ever-so-feather-lightly’ use her teeth when giving a blow job. If you do cross that line be on guard for any and every flinch!

Most guys also LOVE a good lick job. Incorporate this with your blow job skills and you’re away to the races! Lick his shaft and tip as if you were licking an ice cream cone. Up and down, all around the sides – he will be quivering with excitement!

Getting Into The “Nether” Regions

Anyone giving tips regarding how to give a good hand job or blow job would be remiss if they left out the added bonus of working your man’s testicles, or ‘boys’ as I like to call them.. Now, if there is one thing you need to know about the ‘boys’ it’s that they are extremely sensitive so whatever attention you give to them needs to be done with that in mind. A feather light touch goes a long way when it comes to the ‘boys’. I have yet to meet a guy who doesn’t love to have some attention paid to them though.

Be it a caress or a slippery lick, if it’s gentle, it’s good! I do however, have a move – that when executed correctly can be very intense for your fella. When giving a blow job or hand job I use my other hand to gently pull my thumb down the middle of the scrotum between the testicles and hold it there. This causes the skin on the shaft to pull down creating even more intensity at the tip while tightening up the skin around the ‘boys’ thus making them even more sensitized. A little side note here, if your guy ‘manscapes’ (a.k.a. shaves) his ‘boys’ then you know he likely desires you to venture down there for some extended play.

Hopefully this gives you some ideas on how to work your man. It’s a good place to start anyway.. never forget though, pay attention to the reactions you get, ask what they like and be attentive. Communication is key to the best sex life you can have!

Can Masturbation Help Prevent Getting Erections At The Wrong Time?

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It’s every guy’s worst nightmare – having an erection at the wrong time, whether you’re in class, at the office or on a casual date with a girl you really like.

Having an erection at the wrong time can be embarrassing and it can be even more embarrassing and frustrating trying to hide it.  Can masturbating often or at the right times help prevent unwanted erections?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do you know if it is a common occurrence for a guy to masturbate not so much for the direct pleasure (although it is nice) but to not have any “urges”? I often masturbate so I won’t get them at the “wrong” times. Is that a common occurrence?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN1mTyTuqlc[/youtube]

Erections are a natural thing!

An erection for a man is his body’s way of letting him know that there’s tension there,sexual or not, that needs to be relieved. It signals arousal but there are times where a man can get an erection and he’s not thinking about sex nor is he aroused at all.

An erection is simply when extra blood flows to the penis, making it stiffer instead of more relaxed. This can happen often and it is known for happening at some of the most inopportune times.

Masturbating to relieve tension.

Almost every man (if not every man) masturbates at some time or another. Many men masturbate often, especially if they’re not sexually active, while some masturbate less.

However often a man needs to masturbate is generally considered healthy, with the exception of often forgoing sexual intercourse with your partner in lieu of masturbation or masturbating to the point of physical harm.

Masturbating helps to relieve tension and yes, it can help to prevent erections at the wrong time.

When to masturbate?

Many men masturbate in the mornings before a day at the office so they can put the focus on their work, while others prefer to masturbate less often. If you want to use masturbation as a means to prevent unwanted erections, try going without masturbation for a few days and note when your erections seem to happen.

Do they happen at a certain time or when you see a certain person? Learn your triggers. There may be more than a few and sometimes it can be hard to figure out what the triggers are, but it’s helpful to have at least a little background knowledge on when you seem to get unwanted erections before you use masturbation as a tool to prevent them.

Use your triggers to prevent unwanted erections.

Once you figure out roughly when and why you’re having these erections, you can use masturbation to help prevent them.

If you find that the majority of your erections happen in the afternoon, perhaps you can go home on your lunch break and relieve some of the tension.

If you find that your unwanted erections seem to happen before a big date or in the evenings, try masturbating right when you get home from work or before the date to help keep your penis from becoming erect when you’re trying to focus on other things.

Regular masturbation for men, and women, is healthy and helps keep the body and sexual organs healthy. Masturbation and the resulting orgasms can be a source of stress relief for both men and women and can help men from becoming erect when they least expect it or want to be erect.

If you have a sexual partner, you can also use regular sexual intercourse or other types of sex to relieve tension in the same way.

eXtreme Sex Ed: Help! I Feel Like A Spectator During Sex!

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If you’re new at sex or are just new to your partner, it might be difficult for you to get “into” your partner.

Things might seem awkward at first and it can be frustration to experience sexual intimacy with your partner without being really “into” it. How can you get more into your partner and more into sex with them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I want to tell my bf what I like in bed, but I don’t know how, because I don’t masturbate? (That’s right! – remember from before Scarlett is a pastor’s kid…) I feel like a spectator during sex. I find it hard to relax and I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. Please help.

–Scarlett, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLfJe1NKw-0[/youtube]

Finding Out What You Want

For you to get “into” sex, it’s important for you to experiment with what turns you on. If you don’t know what turns you on and what gets you excited, it’s hard not to feel like a spectator when you’re actually doing the deed. How do you do that? One of the greatest ways to experiment with what you like is to masturbate.

Use your hands, a detachable shower head or even toys to find out what feels the best. You can masturbate with your partner if you prefer, or you can masturbate alone to really try new things and find out what really gets you going.

It’s difficult to get into sex and share with your partner what you like without first knowing yourself.

Get Into The Game

One of the best ways to find out what you like during sex and really get into it is to just dive in and do it! Spend time experimenting with different techniques, including genital massage, oral sex and sexual intercourse.

You might like simultaneous oral sex or you might really enjoy your partner using their hands on you.

You’ll never know though if you don’t try! Have sex with your partner and make mental notes of what you don’t like and what you really don’t want to try again. Next time, try something new.

Continue to do this until you find a few things that you really enjoy doing with your partner. Make a mental note of these and when you’re feeling turned on, you and your partner can use these things to get you really excited and into it.

Make sure both partners get equal satisfaction. It’s easy for a woman to feel like a spectator during sex if the focus is on the man. Share each other equally and take turns pleasuring each other until you build up to an amazing climax!

Talk With Your Partner

While you want to be careful about how you approach this subject, it’s important to talk with your partner and be open and honest with them about what you like and don’t like.

Don’t criticize your partner for moves that you don’t like, instead suggest new ones that you’d like to try.

If you close the lines of communication and never let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t, you’ll never be “into” your partner or even “into” sex with them.

Use Trial and Error

Similarly, your partner can share with you what they like so together you can experiment with what works and forget about what doesn’t.

With a little trial and error, you and your partner will learn what you like and what you don’t like, making it easier for you to have successful intimate encounters. Take it slow if you need to and stay open and honest with your partner. Don’t get discouraged and keep trying. You’ll never find out what turns you on and gets you into it if you don’t try!

How To Make Love Making a Real Love Making Experience With Touch

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People have forgotten the simplest lovemaking ‘technique’ of all: the incredible power of human touch. Even when the opportunity arises in lovemaking sessions for us to give and receive the pleasure of the caress, we tend to get caught up in the drive to ejaculatory orgasms.

Making Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience

Admittedly, ejaculatory orgasms produce intense pleasure, but without the slow build up of conscious touch, it is more like a sneeze in the groin, just a release of tension, than a deeply satisfying experience that “makes love grow” (love making).

Unfortunately for many people, sex encounters become more mutual masturbation than real love building experiences.

Tantra invites us to take time to thoroughly touch each other to increase arousal across the entire body. Our skin is our biggest organ and needs caring love and attention. But the Tantric touch, the conscious touch, goes deeper than the skin.

Using Conscious Touch

“Conscious touch” means that you are not thinking of something else. Your attention is fully on your lover, how they breathe and how they take in your touch. Your conscious touch stirs up energy, opening up both the heart and the flow of sexual energy in the form of weak electronic waves that continue to build up until they become larger waves that encompass the entire body.

Sometimes we touch how we want to be touched instead of tuning in to see how our lover likes it. If you notice your lover caught up in their own thoughts, notice how you are touching them. Ask if they would like a softer or stronger, slower or faster touch. This will get their attention back, and you will get a chance to give them the touch they desire.

Touch is both sensuous and healing. The most obvious emissaries of love are our arms, and the focal points from which love flows are the palms. When we touch our loved ones, we help them heal from any pain or disappointment they experience during the day, and they feel that life is worth living just to be touched by you.

Connecting Your Intention With Your Breath

When you connect your intention to your breath, you will feel their muscles sucking in that attention, all the way down to the bones. Yes, bones need love and attention, too, and your intention connected with your breath is powerful enough to penetrate deeply.

Tantric people know that touching a lover does not have to end in ejaculation. Some women cringe when their men start touching them because they know it will end up in intercourse and they might not be in the mood.

I invite men to set up a “just touching time” with your beloved. Then, even when she gets excited you keep your agreement of “just touching” during that time. Doing this often, you build up trust in your word, and she will be touched with joy anytime you do so.

And I promise you that both of you will have an incredibly great time touching and making love.  

To learn more about Carla Tara, visit www.1Tantra.com.

Can I Get STDs From Masturbation?

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Masturbation is a great pleasure for both men and women. It can relieve stress and satisfy sexual desires without having intercourse with someone else.

You might be curious, however, if masturbation falls in the same category as sex, oral sex and erotic massage when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases.

While you can’t transmit or contract STD’s from masturbation or toys, unless you share your toys with someone else, does that mean you’re safe from everything?

If I masturbate without toys (just with my hands) can I get and STDs or other sicknesses?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmYMBgOoyT8[/youtube]

The Skinny On STD’s

Sexually transmitted diseases are spread when an infected person shares bodily secretions or blood with another person. This usually happens during sex, but it can be transmitted in other ways as well, as long as secretions are shared. While you can contract a sexually transmitted disease from another person if they’re infected, it’s very difficult to contract a sexually transmitted disease if you’re simply masturbating.

This would only happen if your hands happened to come into contact with an infected person’s bodily secretions and these secretions made their way into your genitals by being passed on from your hands. This can actually be prevented with simple hand washing. In light of this, however, masturbation is the second safest sex next to no sex at all. If you’ve never had any sexual partners, you can’t transmit STD’s to yourself through masturbation, as well as if you’ve recently been tested for STD’s and haven’t had a sexual partner since.

Simply put, if your hands come into contact with any bodily fluids of another person, such as blood, semen or vaginal secretions, and then you masturbate, there is a very small possibility that you can contract STD’s through masturbation. How can you make absolutely sure you’re safe?

Simply Safe

Being a safe masturbator is actually fairly simple. Always keep your hands clean and make sure they’re washed before masturbation. Even if you don’t have any sexual partners, bacteria on hands that haven’t been washed can cause an infection.

Easy As Soap and Water

If you use toys during masturbation, make sure your toys are clean before each and every use as well. Soap and warm water will do the trick, although there are special cleaners for sex toys available at many stores and online.

It’s safer not to share your sex toys with other people, but if you do, make sure they’re washed in between each use and in between each partner. By washing your hands and your sex toys regularly and keeping them clean, you can keep any bacteria or other infectious organisms at bay.

While there is a very small, almost non-existent chance of contracting an STD from masturbation if you’ve been sexually active with other partners and have gotten blood or bodily fluids on your hands, regular hand washing and hand washing before masturbation will pretty much eliminate any risk involved.

Unless you’re abstaining from any sexual contact with yourself and others, masturbation is the safest form of sex around. Make sure you’re masturbation habits include good hygiene and you can enjoy relieving stress and satisfying your sexual desires without worry.