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You are here: Home / Archives for orgasm

Finally! The Truth About Female Ejaculation…

By carlatara

Can a woman ejaculate? The answer is a definite, yes. With proper stimulation of the Gspot, women can ejaculate a fluid from ducts located around the urethra. It is located in the front wall of the vagina under the pubic bone.

This is a spongy area two inches or more inside the yoni (vagina)  depending on the size of the yoni and the location of the clitoris. It is actually South Pole of the clitoris.

The First Documentation of Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation was documented in ancient China and India where the Goddess-spot massage was a common Tantric-sex technique. Tantric texts call the liquid produced amrita, or “sweet nectar.” It is a protein-based fluid, found to be chemically different from urine. It is believed to have great healing properties.

This knowledge is slowly coming to the awareness of non-Tantric people like Dr. Mitchell Levine, a gynecologist/obstetrician at the Women Care clinic, in Arlington, who declares that women do ejaculate. He believes that the hush-hush aura around the subject does not help women or men. He believes that is should become common knowledge.

Medicine Ignores Women’s Sexuality

Sexuality, and especially women’s sexuality, does not receive much attention in medical school. In fact, one female gynecologist approached for this story declined comment, admitting not to know enough about the subject.

Our in so many other ways advanced western culture is badly informed about human sensuality. Medical encyclopedias still do not mention female ejaculation. There is some information, however, on The Complete Guide to Women’s Health.

Don’t Make Something Out of Nothing

The quantity of amrita is not indicative of how much the woman enjoys her release. Therefore, please men don’t make it an issue. Some woman I’ve been working with say they experience intense pleasurable feeling of release and often ejaculate three to nine times or more during one session of sex, each ejaculatory orgasm giving them more pleasure than the previous one.

However, the experience of female ejaculation varies from woman to woman. Some dribble a small amount of fluid; others soak the sheets.

Some women get concerned that they’re urinating, and they need to be reassured that this is not the case. It is amrita they secrete, not urine. In fact amrita does not smell or taste like urine.

The G-Spot Itself

The G-spot itself has been a subject of controversy since its “discovery” in 1944 by gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg. The “G” in the gspot stands for Granfenberg. In the ’60s, sexologists Masters and Johnson announced that female orgasms occurred primarily through stimulation of the clitoris, not the vagina, where the Gspot is found.

The G Spot (Holt, Rinehart, and Winston), a 1982 book by Beverly Whipple, Alice Ladas, and John Perry, refuted this claim and provides ample evidence that the g spot exists. My colleague, Dr. Gary Schubach, wrote a very enlightening thesis on the g spot. You can find it at http://www.doctorg.com.

Some feminists fear that widespread knowledge about female ejaculation will burden women with one more “trick” they must master in bed to feel fully orgasmic. While this is a true concern, I think that withholding knowledge is not the right approach. Educating women about their birthright to full enjoyment of their bodies is a positive approach.

Tantric approaches do not put any pressure on performance neither for males nor for females. In Tantra what is most important is the deep heart to heart connection and caring between the lovers while they experience the pleasure in lovemaking. The goal is connection and deepening intimacy, not performance.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: ejaculation, female ejaculation, female orgasm, g spot, orgasm, sex tips, tantric sex

Why Men Fail Miserably at Giving Their Women Orgasms – Even After Applying the Right Techniques

By paultony

As men, we are put under a lot of pressure in terms of how we perform as lovers. The media ensure’s this by battering us with statistics on the huge percentages of women that find it difficult to achieve orgasms.

In addition to that, men also have to measure up against porn and main stream movie stars that always seem to effortlessly give their lovers mind blowing orgasms.

Lastly, to complicate this stressed out situation even more, you are also obliged to give your partner multiple orgasms, g-spot orgasms, a-spot orgasms, clitoral orgasms and blended orgasms.

Techniques Don’t Always Work

Though there are many great guides that teach us powerful techniques in cunnilingus, fingering and intercourse, many men are rudely surprised that these techniques don’t always work out like they are supposed to.

This stresses them out even more, and soon the whole episode turns into a nightmare.

Okay, before you give up on the cause of becoming a masterful lover, take a deep breath, relax, and clear your mind. You are about to learn that being a great lover is not just about technique.

Yes, technique does play an important part in helping your partner achieve powerful orgasms, but only if it is applied with the right approach and mindset.

So, what is the Right Approach and Mindset?

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself in the bedroom. Have fun. After all, who ever wanted something as enjoyable as sex to turn into a chore, or worse yet, a science project?

You are not the only one that gets affected with the stress that is induced by this type of pressure. Your partner will notice how stressed you are, and ultimately, it will affect her overall performance in bed as well.

The last thing you want is for your lover to be worried that she might let you down by not reaching an orgasm. She will feel obliged to do anything she can in order to make you happy, even if it means having to lie by faking an orgasm. Ultimately, you will learn nothing, and she will gain nothing.

Approach your love making sessions with a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at yourself and the situation if things don’t go as planned. This will keep the environment between you and your lover relaxed and fun. Most importantly, it will help to keep the doors of communication wide open.

Communicate Openly

Once you are able to communicate openly and in a relaxed manner with your partner, everything will start to make sense.

Having the right approach and mindset will also make the task of learning new techniques in cunnilingus, fingering and intercourse easier. You will have a better understanding of how to apply these techniques because of the relaxed manner in which you and your partner are able to communicate.

You will realize that every woman will have different wants and needs when it comes to sex. You will also realize that it takes time to truly learn your lover. Most importantly, you will realize that there really is no hurry, because both of you are having fun. 

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

What is Tantra and Tantric Sex?

By carlatara

Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student.

Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress. It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine.

What Tantra Is and Isn’t

However, Tantra is not a religion. Tantra does not require anyone to follow any dogmas. Rather, it encourages us to discover through our own experience our true creative potential for pleasure, and our ability to connect with all the elements that surround us, and the spirit that we all share.

To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body. This helps us clear blocks interfering with the movement of energy, and guides us into altered states of consciousness.

There we can transcend our everyday self-identification, and we can get a glimpse of our true larger reality. This includes the body, and goes beyond to include “all that is.” It’s a state of great expansion and orgasmic pleasure that surpasses by far the short-lived ejaculatory orgasm that many are accustomed to.

Engaging in the Tantric Journey

There are many wonderful book on Tantra, and reading can open your mind up to Tantra, but in order to actually engage in the journey, I think the best way to start is with a good guide. Why do many people need a guide?

Some books can be confusing and no matter how well written they can never express the warmth and guidance of a real knowledgeable professional who can transmit her energy and knowledge to the seekers who are open to receive it.

Connect With and Clear Emotional Issues

If you want to prepare for a really high Tantric experience with each other, it is also essential to start by taking time to connect and catch up with emotional issues that might linger unexpressed. People often leave these issues unsaid because of some common rationalizations, such as “I don’t want to start a fight with her” or “he’s not ready to hear me.”

But when we leave these emotions hidden, they become a hindrance to the moving of erotic energy, and end up suppressing our passion for each other. Paying attention to each other and really listening to each other’s concerns is essential. Learning how to “make love grow” becomes especially imperative if you did not see good models for this process while growing up.

Making Love Tantrically

Over time, most of us fall into a sex routine that becomes boring and depleting instead of nurturing, and does not deserve the name of love making. Making love tantrically allows you to achieve high pleasure for the body, and great satisfaction for your emotions and spirit. It is deeply nourishing and bonding and always new, because it is taking place in each moment, as you respond to each other with honesty and support.

Making love this way becomes a priority in a relationship. Great lovemaking restores and/or adds harmony, peace and joy to everyone else you interact with too.

It is worth the time and the investment you make in learning how to achieve this hot and relaxing Tantric space, a door through which you can enter into a new, higher, more expanded you on your way to Enlightenment.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: erotic massage, love, making love, orgasm, tantra, tantric sex

eXtreme Sex Ed: Help! I Feel Like A Spectator During Sex!

By loveandsex

If you’re new at sex or are just new to your partner, it might be difficult for you to get “into” your partner.

Things might seem awkward at first and it can be frustration to experience sexual intimacy with your partner without being really “into” it. How can you get more into your partner and more into sex with them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I want to tell my bf what I like in bed, but I don’t know how, because I don’t masturbate? (That’s right! – remember from before Scarlett is a pastor’s kid…) I feel like a spectator during sex. I find it hard to relax and I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. Please help.

–Scarlett, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLfJe1NKw-0[/youtube]

Finding Out What You Want

For you to get “into” sex, it’s important for you to experiment with what turns you on. If you don’t know what turns you on and what gets you excited, it’s hard not to feel like a spectator when you’re actually doing the deed. How do you do that? One of the greatest ways to experiment with what you like is to masturbate.

Use your hands, a detachable shower head or even toys to find out what feels the best. You can masturbate with your partner if you prefer, or you can masturbate alone to really try new things and find out what really gets you going.

It’s difficult to get into sex and share with your partner what you like without first knowing yourself.

Get Into The Game

One of the best ways to find out what you like during sex and really get into it is to just dive in and do it! Spend time experimenting with different techniques, including genital massage, oral sex and sexual intercourse.

You might like simultaneous oral sex or you might really enjoy your partner using their hands on you.

You’ll never know though if you don’t try! Have sex with your partner and make mental notes of what you don’t like and what you really don’t want to try again. Next time, try something new.

Continue to do this until you find a few things that you really enjoy doing with your partner. Make a mental note of these and when you’re feeling turned on, you and your partner can use these things to get you really excited and into it.

Make sure both partners get equal satisfaction. It’s easy for a woman to feel like a spectator during sex if the focus is on the man. Share each other equally and take turns pleasuring each other until you build up to an amazing climax!

Talk With Your Partner

While you want to be careful about how you approach this subject, it’s important to talk with your partner and be open and honest with them about what you like and don’t like.

Don’t criticize your partner for moves that you don’t like, instead suggest new ones that you’d like to try.

If you close the lines of communication and never let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t, you’ll never be “into” your partner or even “into” sex with them.

Use Trial and Error

Similarly, your partner can share with you what they like so together you can experiment with what works and forget about what doesn’t.

With a little trial and error, you and your partner will learn what you like and what you don’t like, making it easier for you to have successful intimate encounters. Take it slow if you need to and stay open and honest with your partner. Don’t get discouraged and keep trying. You’ll never find out what turns you on and gets you into it if you don’t try!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: masturbation, orgasm, sex education, sex tips, virgin

For Women Only! How to Make Sex More Pleasurable for YOU…

By leejenkins

Many women find it hard to convey to men what they really want in bed. This is due to many reasons from lack of self-confidence to lack of self-awareness.

Another reason is what makes many relationships, sexual and otherwise, fail: the expectation that men can read a woman’s mind and automatically know what she wants in bed!

It is possible for men to discover what works best for you.  But this takes a special kind of man who have dedicated himself to becoming a fantastic lover.

However, not all women have the luxury of being with a man who is skilled in bed.

To experience better sex, you should know what turns you on and love yourself enough to take compliments as they are provided. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Clear Your Mind

If you’re self-conscious about something, your mind will be consumed by this and so you can’t focus on sexual pleasure. So better get rid of what’s bothering you even before you engage in sex.

For example, if you’re always insecure of how you smell ‘down there’ then make sure you always shower before engaging in sex. If you’re afraid you might accidentally pee while your G-spot is being stimulated, then go have a bathroom break before making love.

Know What Turns You ON

How can you guide him into what brings you pleasure if you yourself don’t know what does?

Some women have a hard time figuring out what turns them on.  Compare this to men; for the most part, it’s very easy to figure what what turns a man on.

This can actually be a fun time for you.  To know what turns you on, try renting some porn videos and see how you react to what you see. Buy some dirty magazines, romance novels and maybe even some sex toys.

You’ll have to do a bit of self exploration on this one because unlike men, what turns women on is a bit less ‘clear cut’. Once you know what turns you on, experiment with him in bed!

Understand That Men Are Not Mind Readers

Get this straight: Men are NOT mind readers. They cannot instinctively know what brings you the most pleasure. Communicating what is working for you (and making sure that he keeps on doing it) can speed things up towards your female orgasm.

So if you already know what turns you on, don’t be afraid to tell him how best to pleasure you.

Be Specific

For example, if he’s eating you out, tell him exactly how you like to be licked and where.

Communication is key to maximizing your pleasure in bed.  The more you know about yourself, and the more you communicate with him, the more pleasure you’ll have.  The best part is, you’ll enhance the bond you already have with him by making intimate communication a regular activity in bed.

If You Can Orgasm By Yourself, You Can Orgasm During Sex

Take control of your own orgasm and don’t be so dependant on him to “give” it to you.  You can guide him to help you climax during sex, but the quickest way to reach an orgasm (if he’s not sexually skilled) is to help yourself.  There’s nothing wrong with it, and trust me, both parties will be happier in the end.

You can apply clitoral stimulation during intercourse, however, not all sex positions are great for self-stimulation.  There are a few good positions, like the woman-on-top position that lends itself well to clitoral stimulation.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: clitoral stimulation, female orgasm, orgasm

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