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Q&A: My Girlfriend Wants To Do Me With A Strap On

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The act of penetrating your partner during sex is intense.  It’s a huge turn on for guys – but believe it or not, penetrating their partner (instead of being penetrated) can be a turn on for women too. Some women fantasize about having sex with their man with a strap on. Many men, however, don’t find this idea at all appealing. What do you do if your girl wants to do you with a strap on – and you’re not into it?

Question: I have been having sex with my girlfriend for 3 months now and just recently she keeps bring up the idea of her pleasuring me with a strap on. The idea scares me and I feel as if I were to go through with it I would be less of a man. How do I talk her out of it?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-vjCzzy_HE&feature=PlayList&p=400F0FDDC21B83A0&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32[/youtube]

Open And Honest Communication

When bringing up a fantasy, whether it’s your fantasy or hers, it’s important that both you and your partner be open and honest with each other. Each partner should be able to bring up a fantasy of theirs without the fear of criticism or being laughed at. That doesn’t mean you have to go along with it though. If her fantasy makes you uncomfortable (or vice versa) it’s important that you are honest with your partner and voice your concerns without being condescending or critical. Sex between you and your partner should be enjoyable for both of you, and neither partner should be forced to be uncomfortable just so the other partner can have a pleasurable experience. If your partner wants to try something that makes you uncomfortable, let her know. If she wants to have sex with you using a strap-on, let her know what about that idea causes you discomfort.

How To Say No

Whether you aren’t into the idea of playing in the mud or you’d rather keep your anus a “one way only” street, those are all perfectly sound reasons to bring up to your partner. When you’re talking to your partner about why you don’t want to have her use a strap-on on you, make sure that you use “I” terms instead of “you” terms. This is about you after all, and why the idea of her introducing this type of BDSM makes you uneasy. Be careful not to make her feel as though her fantasies are gross or wrong. She should feel safe enough in the relationship to bring her fantasies up in conversation, whether you actually go through with them or not.

She Should Respect You

If you respect your partner enough to make it safe for her to share her fantasies with you, she should respect you enough to realize that you may not want to participate in all of them. Ultimately, if you’re not comfortable with something, she shouldn’t force you to do it or become angry if you won’t. It’s your body after all. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If she doesn’t respect you enough to dismiss her fantasy and find a form of sex or BDSM that you both can enjoy in the bedroom, it’s time to move on to someone who does respect you and your body.

Q&A: Is It Normal To Masturbate?

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Questions about masturbation, especially for boys that are just beginning to go through puberty, are common. Is masturbation normal? Is masturbation wrong, or can it cause blindness or hairy palms? What is the liquid that comes out of the penis at the end of masturbation? Here’s what you want to know about masturbation, and more.

Question: Is it normal for a 14 year old boy to masturbate, and at the end of masturbation a transparent liquid comes out? What is it? Is it sperm?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2aJpTVwq64[/youtube]

The Safest Safe Sex There Is

Masturbation, for both men and women, is perfectly normal and actually a healthy part of going through puberty and a component of a healthy sex life when you get older. Not long ago, boys were taught to believe that masturbation was wrong and that it would be harmful to them if they did masturbate. Some old wives’ tales suggested that boys could grow hair on their palms or even go blind if they masturbated, and everyone would know they had been masturbating. They were taught that masturbation was something that was shameful. Masturbation, however, is actually the safest sex there is. Masturbating is safer than having sex with a condom and even safer than having sex with a condom and with a partner who is taking birth control. You can’t get pregnant from masturbation and you can’t contract any sexually transmitted diseases. It’s the best way to pleasure yourself without worrying about the consequences of sex with someone else.

Masturbation And Ejaculation

When a man masturbates and reaches climax, a fluid comes out of the end of the penis called semen. Semen is a fluid that contains millions of sperm and when it comes into contact with a woman’s vagina, can get her pregnant. Semen can range in color and consistency based on your age, your health and your diet. A younger boy may have clear, thin semen, while an older man may have  thicker, more white colored semen. A poor diet filled with fatty foods can change the color and texture of your semen, while a diet full of fiber, fruits and vegetables will keep your semen and sperm healthy. Proper exercise can also help keep your semen healthy – if you suspect there’s something up with the color or texture of your semen, make an appointment to see your medical doctor.

Considerations To Take Before Masturbating

While masturbation is extremely safe, there are some considerations you want to take before masturbating just to make sure everything goes smoothly. Wash your hands before and after masturbating to keep things clean, and use a good, water or silicone based lubricant for the least amount of friction.  Find a quiet place to masturbate alone where you won’t be disturbed, and lock the door if you need to. Bring in a magazine or a book that arouses you. Many sex toys for men are available to aid with masturbation and can increase pleasure and the power of climax. Male masturbators, including masturbation sleeves, can be used in conjunction with lube to make masturbation even better. Masturbation is healthy for both men and women, and can be a great way to relieve sexual frustration, especially during puberty.

Q&A: What Is A Normal Penis Size?

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Many boys who are growing up are wondering about penis size. What is a normal penis size? When does a penis start growing? When does it stop? There are a lot of questions out there about what a normal penis is, but not enough answers. Here’s what you want to know about penis size – what is normal and what isn’t.

Question: I’m 14, small for my age(4 foot 8) and I was curious about penis size… I know I’m small for my age but I’m 14. Will my penis grow and is this normal? Should I be worried about it?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIg7Ff_C42U[/youtube]

Penis Growth

A boy’s penis starts growing when he hits puberty, which is earlier for some boys and later for others, and stops growing when he does – generally in late adolescence to early adulthood. There is no average amount of penis growth during this period of time –  some boys will grow more overall than others. If the penis starts out small, it may grow to become very large, or it may only grow a few inches. A penis that starts out large may only grow a little, or it may grow a lot. How much your penis will grow is all up to mother nature.

Penis Averages

The average penis size is about 2-3 inches when it is slack and 5-6 inches when it is erect. There are, however, many men who have much smaller or much larger penises than this, and if you’re bigger or smaller than the “average,” that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Just like the size, shape, color and texture of vaginas differ from person to person, so does penis size, shape and color. A man’s penis may also be very thick or very thin in circumference, regardless of the length. Things you should not experience during penis growth is pain, so if you feel like something is wrong, go see your doctor. An extremely rare complication of circumcision is not having enough skin for the penis to grow into, causing intense feelings of discomfort when you begin having erections. Even if nothing is wrong, it’s better to have a little peace of mind. Don’t worry – your doctor has seen it all before. If you’re not comfortable talking to your doctor about your penis, or any other topic about your body and health, find a doctor who you are comfortable with.

Learn To Be Comfortable With Who You Are

Part of growing up is learning to be comfortable in your own skin. Whether you’re light or dark, tall or short, fat or skinny, we all must come to terms with who we are and learn to be comfortable with ourselves. Accepting your penis size, shape and color falls into this category too. Everyone is different and that’s a good thing! While learning to accept ourselves for who we are and what we look like isn’t always the easiest thing to do, it’s part of becoming an adult. If you’re concerned that your penis is too small, too short, or even too big, don’t worry! Being human means we all look different. That’s the beautiful thing about diversity! Learn to be comfortable with yourself and learn to like being in your own skin.

Q&A: Personal Question For Dan And Jennifer

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 People who have gotten to know us through our website, through YouTube and through Facebook often wonder what we’re all about. Why do we do what we do? Do we have kids? Do we talk to them about sex? Here are some answers to your most personal questions.

Question: I have a question that’s been burning on my mind ever since I started following you on YT. You guys have kids, right and you guys are American, I take it. So, how do you reconcile what you do on YT (and as a job, I think?) and the kids? Do they know, do they mind or… well, what’s the deal? Anyway, great job, I love your channel. Cheers!

–YouTube Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZysGX7PcwI&feature=channel[/youtube]

Our Mission

One of the reasons that we do what we do is because we really believe in it! Our mission on Ask Dan & Jennifer is to educate people about love, sex and relationships in a totally non-judgemental way. We believe people should have a resource for love and sex, without the judgement that often comes with the territory. We want them to have a safe environment where they can ask questions about sex and get an informative answer without criticism – no matter what. We want to address the topics that everyone else is afraid to talk about, like teen sex and contraception or how to have safe and clean anal sex, because there just isn’t enough good information out there about many of the topics that people want to know about. We want people to be able to make informed decisions about love, relationships and sex instead of making decisions blindly and having to deal with the consequences – not because they were afraid to ask, but because someone was afraid to answer them.

Answering Your Most Asked Questions

Do You Have Kids?

Many people want to know – do we have kids? How do we justify what we do with our children? Yes, we do have kids – two girls, ages 8 and 10. We feel like what we do on YouTube and on Ask Dan & Jennifer is important and we really, really believe in it. Our children get the privilege of growing up with parents who are happy together, love their work, and who are trying to change the world. I can’t think of a better example for our kids.

How Much Do Your Kids Know?

So how much do our kids know? Do we talk about the topics we discuss on YouTube with our kids? Yes, in a way. In a very age appropriate way. They know that we talk about love and sex, that we help people with relationship troubles, and that they will get to read all of it when they get older.

Do You Discuss What You Talk About On YouTube With Your Kids?

We don’t discuss the specific topics, but we freely answer any questions they may have in an age appropriate way. They currently have a basic understanding of what sex is, that it’s something that grown ups share when they are in a loving relationship, they know what a condom is and where it goes, and that we will answer any questions they may have in the future without judgement. We not only believe in educating and informing the world about sex and relationships in a responsible way, we also believe in educating our children about sex and relationships responsibly.

Q&A: Can A Woman Want Sex As Much As A Man?

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One social stigma that has stuck around for years is that men are sexually ravenous, while women don’t really have a sexual appetite at all. Is this true? Are men the only ones who want sex and women just go along with it to make their man happy or to have babies? Or can women want and enjoy sex as much as a man?

Question: Is it normal for a woman to have an insatiable sexual appetite, and to be able to separate sex from emotion like a man?

–Facebook Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft_-VXQm2ds[/youtube]

Yes, Women Have Sex Drives

Women, like men, have sex drives. She may desire different things than a man does sexually, such as more romance or different positions, but it is completely normal and even healthy for a woman to have a substantial sexual appetite. Some people do have a higher libido than others, but this is not related to gender in the least. Those with a low sex drive may be on certain medicines that affect libido, or may have emotional issues relating to sex. A healthy and even insatiable sexual appetite can be found in both men and women of all ages. Many years ago, women were taught that sex was “dirty” and a “wifely duty” – something that had to be done but was not to be enjoyed. Sex was not talked about during that time, because enjoying it was shameful and taboo. Men, however, were taught that women were sexual objects, to be used at their convenience. During that time, a woman’s sexuality was only recognized as existing solely to please a man. Since then, society has evolved into recognizing that women do, in fact, enjoy sex. However, it remains a myth that men have a greater sexual appetite than women.

Humans Are Sexual Beings

Every human being is a sexual being. Regardless of race, gender, sex, religion or sexual orientation, we all crave and enjoy sex. It’s the way our bodies were built. In fact, a woman’s clitoris exists only to provide her with pleasure. A clitoris does absolutely nothing else and it has no other purpose. Women were designed to enjoy sex, it’s as simple as that. Women also face the presumption that they are always emotionally attached to sex, while men have the ability to detach themselves from sexual pleasure to experience the pleasure only. Not all women have an emotional attachement to sex, and many women have sex simply for the physical enjoyment of it. Unfortunately, society still places stigmas on sex, especially on sex education and sexual enjoyment. As society grows and sex becomes less and less taboo, we will be able to express our sexuality freely and shed the social stigmas that have been forced upon both men and women.

Enjoying sex with your partner – and enjoying masturbation – is a normal and healthy part of any person’s sex life, whether you’re a guy or a gal. Having sex without an emotional attachment is also normal, and a great way to find sexual satisfaction without the emotional involvement of a relationship. Don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality to find out what you like and don’t like, and fully flesh out your sexual personality.