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How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual?

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In sex ed, they don’t tell you how to figure out your sexual orientation. And when you’re a teenager, there are tons of sexual hormones that are taking over your body – one minute you can be feeling one way and the next minute you can be feeling the exact opposite. It can be hard to tell what your true sexual orientation is when so many emotions are going through you. How do you know if you’re really and truly gay, straight, bisexual or anything in between?

For about two years, I’ve contimplated weather or not I’m bi-sexual, and I’ve been feeling like I am a lot more now than I have in the past. I’m sort of freaked out by all this and I was wondering if you could explain some of this stuff. I’m fifteen and living with two old school catholics – so let’s just say I can’t go to the parents on this one, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RvJdlQyS6A&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

What Is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is simply the recognition that one can be physically and emotionally to more than one gender. Many people assume that if you have sex with a member of the same gender that it automatically makes you gay or bisexual, but this isn’t true. You don’t have to have had sex at all – with anyone – or you can have had sex with both genders.

You can also be gay but have only had sex with members of the opposite sex, and vice versa. On the other hand, having a sexual encounter with someone of the same gender doesn’t make you gay or bisexual. Your sexual orientation doesn’t depend at all on who you’ve been to bed with!

What Do You Really Fantasize About?

What does determine your sexual orientation is what governs your sexual fantasies. Are you a guy who is sleeping with with women but keeps dreaming about giving a great blowjob to a guy? Are you a girl who is having sex with guys but secretly wish you were with a girl instead? If this is the case, you might want to consider that possibility that you are gay or bisexual.

Leaning One Way Or The Other

If you’re bisexual, it doesn’t mean that you have to be attracted physically and emotionally to men and women equally. Lots of people lean one way or the other – a man who is bisexual may prefer women but sometimes enjoy men, or a woman may really enjoy being with another women but think being with a man sexually is okay too.

Questions To Ask Yourself

If you’re unsure about what your sexual orientation really is, you can ask yourself some questions to dig deeper within yourself and find out what really defines your sexuality.

  • Do you feel attracted to both genders?
  • Are you attracted to men and to women sexually and emotionally?
  • Do you think about having sex with a woman when you’re with a man or vice versa?
  • Do you enjoy looking at both men and women sexually?
  • Do you believe that either gender could fulfill you emotionally in a relationship?

All In All, It’s Just A Label

What sex ed definitely won’t teach you is that bisexuality, gay, straight, transgender, etc. are all just labels that people put on themselves or put on others. Humans have to label everything – it comes naturally to them to place a label on people, things, ideas, and pretty much everything else they come into contact with.

You don’t have to label yourself at all if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to consider yourself bisexual or gay or straight, then don’t! There are lots of people out there that don’t meet the criteria for gay, straight or even bisexual and are somewhere in the middle – but that’s okay because when it comes to sexuality and sexual orientation, it’s all shades of gray anyways. By labeling everything, we try to make our world black and white, but it just doesn’t happen that way.

You are who you are and you don’t need a label to give yourself permission to be a certain way or enjoy certain things. You don’t have to consider yourself into BDSM just because you like the occasional spanking, or think of yourself as having a urine fetish if you enjoy a golden shower every now and again. When it comes to sex – and anything else – you don’t have to define yourself unless you want to, and it’s not up to anyone else to define you either. The most important thing is to be honest and true to yourself, and live the way you want to live.

When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?

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Sex ed programs in schools and all over the country can leave a lot to be desired when it comes to learning about sex and when the right time to do it is. How do you know your body is prepared to have sex for the first time? How do you know your body is primed? How do you know that you’re emotionally prepared for it and are prepared to deal with the consequences that having sex (even protected) can sometimes bring? Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you really are prepared – or if you should wait.

Question: I feel ready to have sex. I know it and I have no doubts about it. So emotionally, I’m more than OK. But physically, when is the right age for a woman to have sex? I got my period 2 years ago and I am WELL informed on birth control and STD’s. I even know how to put on a condom.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pii3A2BNYZI&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex

It’s easy to think you’re emotionally prepared for it because this is something that pretty much every sex ed program in the country doesn’t discuss. In fact, with the far majority of sex ed programs discussing how to say “no” and the benefits of abstinence, very few of them actually do approach the topic of when the right time actually is.

There are many consequences that having sex can bring, and thinking through the consequences before actually doing it is an important part of becoming emotionally prepared to do it for the first time.

Thinking Through The Consequences

Before you make the decision to have sex, take some time to imagine the different consequences that could arise from having sex right now. Think about what you might do in a given situation, and don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and get on the same page with them about what actions you both would take if one of these situations would arise.

What Will You Do If You Get Pregnant?

Even if you take steps to protect yourself during intercourse (such as using condoms), the risk of an unwanted pregnancy still exists. In fact, even with condoms, spermicide, birth control and pulling out, there still is a tiny, tiny chance that an egg could become fertilized. Having safer sex is all about reducing your risks, however, you must realize that the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain from it completely.

That said, take some time to think about what would happen if you actually did become pregnant after having sex. What options are available to you? Would you consider abortion, or adoption? Would you consider rearranging your life to raise a baby? Think about the steps you would take if you were to get pregnant so you have a plan of action if the situation would actually come up.

What Will You Do If You Get A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

Any sex ed program will tell you – even if you use condoms during sex, it is possible to contract an STD from a partner that is infected. Before committing to have sex, think about what protection you’re going to put into place to reduce your risk of getting an STD. Will you use condoms? Will you get regular STD and HIV testing done? Will you require your partner to have an STD test?

You may also want to do some research on how different STD’s are transmitted and how they are treated. HIV is a very scary disease, but with modern technology and medical treatments, the life expectancy of an HIV positive person is almost that of a healthy person. Some STD’s are treated with antibiotics, while others cannot be “cured.”

What Will You Do If You Break Up With The Person You Lost Your Virginity To?

Condoms and birth control can reduce your risk of unwanted pregnancy and STD’s, however, they can’t reduce the risk you take of not being with the person you lost your virginity to forever. Before committing to taking this step with someone, take some time to think out how you might feel if you end up breaking up with the person you lost your virginity to. Are you going to be emotionally or mentally scarred? Will you be able to move on with your life and still have healthy relationships with others?

When Your Body Lets You Know You’re Ready For Reproduction

This is basic sex ed – a girl’s body is prepared for reproduction when she begins having her period. This simply means that the ovaries are dropping eggs and because they’re unfertilized, a girl has her period and sheds the lining of the uterus. It actually has nothing to do with whether a girl is really prepared for it or not, because just because your body is saying that it is primed to make a baby, doesn’t mean that it’s time for you to go there.

More and more girls are starting to get their periods at a younger age, sometimes even as young as ten or eleven (and in rare cases, even younger than that). This solidifies the fact that just because a girl has started her period, it does not mean she is ready to have sex with a man.

No One Can Decide For You

Remember that deciding to have sex (or not to have sex) is something that only you can decide for yourself. Your parents may not want you to do it yet and your friends may be urging you to do it, but only you and your partner can decide when the right time to have intercourse really is. And even if your partner decides that he’s prepared, the ultimate decision is really up to you and you alone. Don’t let anyone try to take your decision away from you.

Make Sure You’re With The Right Person

While you may feel emotionally and physically ready to have intercourse for the first time, stop and think about if you’re really with the right person. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to lose my virginity to this person?” Make sure your partner is someone that you care deeply about (and who also cares deeply about you) and that they’re someone you can truly trust and depend on. Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it, because you could be making a huge mistake.

If you wait until you’re really prepared to have intercourse and you wait until you’re in the right relationship, it is going to be much better and much more rewarding than if you had simply given in to someone you really didn’t care about just to get it over with.

Keep The Laws In Mind

While the last thing you’re probably thinking about is when you’re legally okay to have sex, if you’re younger than eighteen, it’s important to think about the legal aspect of things. Statutory rape is not something your partner wants on his record (if he’s older than you). It’s also something that you don’t want on your record if you’re older than eighteen and your partner is younger. Keep in mind that the legal age to give sexual consent is usually eighteen and is actually seventeen in some states. Play it safe and make sure you’re keeping everything legal.

Get Informed

Don’t assume that your local sex ed program is going to give you all the information you need to know on having intercourse and how to do it safely, especially if the only sex ed program offered in your area is an abstinence only course. Take some time to research the different aspects of sex, how to enjoy it, how to make your partner enjoy it and how to keep it safe, fun and clean. Think about oral and anal sex too, and how to stay safe during those activities too. Remember that knowledge is power.

What Are The Side Effects Of Oral Birth Control?

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Oral birth control is a very popular form of birth control and is often used alone or with other methods (such as condoms) to prevent unwanted pregnancy. However, oral birth control isn’t for everyone. There are a number of side effects that go along with taking it, ranging from a little weight gain to more serious side effects such as stroke and decreased libido. Here’s what you want to know about oral birth control and its associated side effects.
Question: I was wondering if you could do a video on the side effects of oral birth control. By this, I don’t mean what we normally hear like weight gain and possibility of a stroke (if you smoke while on the pill), but I mean the stranger side effects like loss of sex drive, insomnia, and depression! I know it didn’t even strike me that the pill could cause these things, so I’m betting other people don’t know either. So if you could make a video to help inform woman of some of these strange side effects, I think that would be really great! Thanks!
–YouTube Viewer
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LZWM6KXuDk[/youtube]
Quick Birth Control Facts
  • Oral birth control is 99.9% effective against pregnancy when used correctly – that means, taking it at about the same time every single day.
  • It does not prevent STD’s of any kind, including HIV, AIDS, chlamydia, herpes, etc.
  • Antibiotics and other medicines will reduce the effectiveness of birth control.
  • Women on birth control should not smoke due to increase in rare but very serious side effects.

Common Birth Control Side Effects

There are many side effects that are caused by oral birth control, ranging from very mild side effects to more serious ones. Some women who take birth control won’t experience any side effects at all, others may experience some side effects that aren’t bothersome, and others may experience very serious and uncomfortable side effects that may mean they need to discontinue using the medication.

  • Nausea
  • Weight gain
  • Sore or swollen breasts
  • Spotting between periods or lighter periods
  • Mood changes
  • Decreased sexual libido

More Serious Birth Control Related Side Effects

While most of the side effects that are related to birth control aren’t serious, some of them are and require immediate medical attention. These side effects are more rare, but they can happen. Every woman who takes birth control should be aware of the more rare but serious side effects of the medication so they can contact their doctor as soon as possible if they experience any of these more serious side effects.

  • Abdominal pain
  • Chest pain
  • Visual disturbances such as blurred vision or spots or flashes in your vision
  • Mild headaches or severe migraines
  • Swelling and aching in the legs and thighs

Other Forms Of Hormonal Birth Control

You may think that the “pill” is the only form of birth control that has side effects, but quite the opposite is true. Many popular forms of birth control contain the very same mix of hormones that the pill does! Other forms of hormonal birth control can be even stronger than some pills and can produce similar but stronger side effects than the those associated with the pill.

  • The Ortho Evra patch
  • The Nuva ring
  • Mirena – the hormonal IUD (intra-uterine device)
  • Depo-Provera injection and other birth control injections
  • Hormonal implants
  • Plan B – the “morning after” pill

Barrier Methods

While oral birth control is among the most popular ways to practice safe sex, it is not the only way. Oral birth control doesn’t protect against sexually transmitted diseases, but some other methods of safe sex (called “barrier” methods) do.

  • Condoms – protects against STD’s
  • Female condoms – protects against STD’s
  • Copper IUD
  • Diaphragm
  • Cervical Cap
  • Spermicidal sponge, foam, cream or film

Talk To Your Doctor To Find Out If Birth Control Is Right For You

Always talk to your doctor to find out whether or not oral birth control or other forms of birth control is right for you. Your doctor can help explain to you why you should or should not take birth control, and will tell you how to use it correctly so it is most effective. Some women should not take birth control at all, because the risk of side effects are too great. Your doctor will look at your entire health history to determine whether or not hormonal birth control is the right choice for your health and lifestyle.

Who should not take birth control:

  • Women over 35
  • Women with a history of blood clots
  • Women with a history of heart or liver disease
  • Women with a history of breast or uterine cancer
  • Women who have experienced undesirable side effects from birth control previously

Q&A: Having A Baby – Will Her Vagina And Breasts Be Bigger?

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Many changes happen to a woman’s body during pregnancy. It’s definitely an eye opening process for a woman, however, it can be downright scary for their partners. Many guys want to know what happens to his lady’s special parts when she gets pregnant and has a baby, and if the sex will feel different for him after it’s all said and done. Here’s the downlow on how a woman’s body might change during the next 9 months.

Question: I heard from a friend that if a girl has a baby that her vagina will be wider than before and her breasts will be bigger is this true?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9DblUgPEgk[/youtube]

What Happens To Her Body During Pregnancy

A woman’s breasts usually do get bigger during pregnancy and especially after she has the baby. During pregnancy, a woman’s blood volume actually increases by up to 40%, and much of this blood is used to simply nourish the body’s growing reproductive organs. It also goes to the breasts and vagina and can make both look much bigger and even swollen. After the baby is born, her breasts will become even bigger as her milk comes in. They will stay large if she chooses to breastfeed, or they will reduce in size several days after discontinuing breastfeeding. If she decides to breastfeed, you will even notice that her breasts change sizes several times throughout the day as the milk comes in and the baby nurses. Your partner may also have hair and skin changes, where her hair becomes fuller and her skin becomes darker or blotchier. After the baby is born, her vagina may look and feel different. It may feel more loose or stretched out, or it may look larger and darker in color.

When Everything Goes Back To Normal

Usually, after a baby is born, a woman’s body goes back to it’s normal, pre-pregnancy state. After breastfeeding is stopped, the breasts should return to their original size. The body absorbs the extra fluid and blood that was created during pregnancy and skin discolorations generally start to subside a few days or weeks after the birth. The vagina is made to be elastic and resilient and even the vaginal canal and surrounding vulva will begin returning to normal at this point as well.

When Everything Doesn’t Go Back To Normal

While a woman’s body is designed to “bounce back” after pregnancy (even though this process can take some time), there are changes that take place that may be permanent. After breastfeeding, a woman may notice that her breasts are larger or smaller than they were before, and they may be droopier or less perky than they were before the pregnancy as well. She may lose the extra pounds she gained during pregnancy and return to her pre-pregnancy weight, however, the weight may be distributed in different places. She may now carry more weight on her hips and lower stomach, even if her “trouble spots” were always her thighs or buttocks before. The vagina may retain some of the changes that took place during pregnancy and birth, especially if her vagina tore at all and required stitches. Sometimes, doctors will perform a procedure called an episiotomy, where the skin is cut to make room for the baby and then stitched back up. This can make sex feel very different for both her and her partner.

Even though the body goes through monumental changes during pregnancy and birth, sex can still be very pleasurable – and sometimes even better than before!

Q&A: Long Distance Relationship – Alternatives To Phone Sex

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One of the hardest things to do in a long distance relationship is achieve any real level of physical intimacy. Even arranging meeting face to face as often as possible isn’t going to cut it if you’re going long distance for any significant period of time. Phone sex can definitely get boring, so here’s how you can keep the fire alive in other fun ways.

Question: HELP! I’m in a long distance relationship, any tips on keeping the loving feeling going? My boyfriend isn’t really into phone sex. PLEASE HELP with any other suggestions!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2v3flDbxBM[/youtube]

Sexting

Send your partner racy texts or picture sexts throughout the day to remind him how hot he is for you. Encourage your partner to send you a few titillating texts of his own! Tell your partner what you want to do to him next time you see him, or what you’d like him to do to you. You and your partner will love getting unexpected, sexy texts at random times and you’ll always be on each other’s mind. If you and your partner see each other often, such as every weekend or every couple of weeks, sexting can definitely be a primary way of building up the tension leading up to the next face to face meeting.

Emails & Pictures

Emails are a great way to quickly send your partner a sexy little saying, and it’s also a good way to send him pictures of you (and vice versa) without having to get them developed. Read: as racy as you want. A word of caution when it comes to sending naked pictures of yourself over the internet: don’t send anything out that you wouldn’t mind being out there. The Internet is definitely not safe and a number of people may end up with their hands on your naked picture, even if all you did was email it to your boyfriend. However, this may not be a big issue for you.

Webcam Sex

Webcams really upped the game for couples in long distance relationships. Live webcam conversations are as close as you’re going to get to a real face to face conversation with your partner, and the same goes for sex too. Many couples have webcam “sex dates” and meet each other regularly for webcam sex. This is an excellent way for you and your partner both get relief from your sexual frustrations, as well as allowing you to feel sexually close to your partner and not allowing those loving feelings to subside too much.

Teledildonics

Teledildonics is the next big thing in long distance sex. Take remote control dildos and computerize them. Now you have a dildo that hooks up to your computer that your partner can control from their own computer. This is an excellent way to help your partner participate in your pleasure from far away. The downside to teledildonics is that they can be very expensive. Combine teledildonics with webcam sex for a long distance sex experience that is almost like the real thing! A cheaper way for your partner to become involved in your pleasure is to have a dildo made from a mold of your partner’s actual penis!