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Q&A: Sexual Virgin – I’m Not Sure I’m Ready

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Losing your virginity is a big step, and it’s one that you have to be emotionally and physically ready for. If you’re being pressured to have sex with someone and you’re a virgin, you may be tempted to lose your virginity just to get it “over with.” Fortunately, you don’t have to take that approach to losing your virginity. If you’re not ready, here’s how to be true to yourself and let your partner know what you’re comfortable with – and what you’re not comfortable with.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn,I am 14 years old and I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Recently he said he wanted to have sex and I am not sure if I do, but I am worried if I tell him that I don’t want to lose my virginity to him, he will think I am not into him anymore. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qcsDyZS9Zo[/youtube]

Staying True To Yourself

Being honest with yourself and staying true to yourself is the most important thing in this type of situation. If you’re not emotionally ready or physically ready for sex, there is absolutely no reason you should have to do it. Don’t try to convince yourself that having sex with your partner will make your relationship better or that your partner won’t think you like them if you don’t have sex with them. The only thing that matters here is what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with having sex, don’t do it! There are no external factors here. It’s only about you and what you do or don’t want to do. If your partner pressures you to have sex when you’re not ready, or doesn’t respect your decision to wait, it’s definitely time to move on so you can be with someone who really loves you and respects your decisions.

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex – And The Consequences

Sex can bring great pleasure, but if you’re not emotionally ready for sex, it can bring a lot of trouble too. If you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend after losing your virginity to them (especially when you’re very young), it will most likely be more painful for you than if the breakup happened without you and your partner having had sex. You never forget your first time, so before you lose your virginity, make sure you’re having sex for the first time with the person you really want your first time to be with. Sex can also bring other consequences that make the situation more complicated, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Take some time to think it through and consider all the possible outcomes of having sex before you actually do it. You can’t go back after you’ve done it and do it differently or take more time. Once you do it, it can’t be undone, so really think it through first.

Educate Yourself About Sex

You may think you know what you need to know about sex, but you’d really be surprised at what you haven’t learned yet. Take some time to educate yourself about safe sex, condoms, the morning after pill, pregnancy and various types of sexually transmitted diseases and the different ways you can get them or pass them on. Don’t rely on someone else to tell yo what’s up when it comes to sex, and don’t wait until after you’ve had sex for the first time to find these things out. If you do decide to have sex with your partner and have decided you’re emotionally ready for it, make sure you know how to keep yourself safe too.

Q&A: Safe Sex – Using The Withdrawal Method

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There are a number of different birth control methods that work well to drastically reduce the risk of pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted diseases, but many guys insist on trying birth control methods that don’t really work at all! A lot of guys want to pull out, simply because it feels better than wearing a condom. Here’s why you shouldn’t pull out and how you can have safe sex that still feels great.

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 23. He wants to use the withdrawal method, but it’s not always effective! How do I tell him?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X9_aAjAZZM[/youtube]

Why Pulling Out Doesn’t Work

Simply put, if a penis touches a vagina without protection, there is a risk of pregnancy involved. Even if there is no penetration, if there is genital to genital touching, the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant goes up. This risk, of course, goes up the more contact there is. Consider the penis a loaded gun. There are most likely sperm present before ejaculation, whether it is because ejaculation took place not long before, or because pre-semen or pre-ejaculate can contain sperm as well. It takes only one sperm to get a woman pregnant, although millions are present in very small amounts of semen. Not only are you taking a risk of becoming pregnant or getting an STD simply by allowing a penis to touch your vagina without some sort of protection, you are also taking a greater risk by trusting your partner to pull out at just the right time when he’s on the brink of orgasm. This usually ends in disaster! Statistically speaking, the withdrawal method has a pregnancy rate similar to having completely unprotected sex.

Other Methods Of Birth Control

Condoms, of course, are the number one form of birth control. They are easy to purchase, easy to use and protect against both pregnancy and STD’s. No other form of birth control does all those things. However, if you’d like to forgo using condoms, there are many different kinds of birth control you can use so you can still have great sex safely. First, you and your partner need to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Make a committment to each other that you will be monogamous, so once you and your partner are given the green light, you can continue to stay disease free without a condom. Do not have sex without a condom until both of your test results come back! To protect against pregnancy, talk to your doctor about different forms of birth control. Hormonal birth control, such as the pill, the patch or the shot are popular, while barrier methods such as spermicide and diaphragms are also still being used. You can also consider doubling up with a hormonal and barrier birth control method. Talk to your doctor and talk to your partner about which options are right for you.

No Glove, No Love

If you want your partner to wear a condom, he needs to wear a condom. If he doesn’t, simply put your foot down and state that there isn’t going to be any sex without a condom. If you’re not comfortable with the withdrawal method or other forms of birth control, your partner needs to respect that. There are tons of great condom styles out there, including large and small condoms, non-latex condoms for men who are allergic to latex, flavored and scented condoms, colored condoms, glow in the dark condoms and much, much more! There’s no reason that using a condom during sex can’t make it safe and fun!

Q&A: How Do I Ask My Girlfriend For Naked Pictures?

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If you’d rather look at a naked picture of your girlfriend rather than look at porn, you’re not alone. But how can you get her to take a naked picture and most of all, how can you get her to give it to you? Can you just ask her for a naked picture of herself, or is there more to it than that? Here’s what you need to know before asking your lady love for a photo of her lady parts.

Question: Can you tell me how can I ask my girlfriend for a naked picture? We have been together almost a year but I’ve never seen her naked! So how can I ask her for naked picture? Is there any special way I should ask her?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-lKl9nb7M[/youtube]

Have You Been Intimate Together Yet?

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex together yet, it’s understandable why you would want to see a naked picture of her. You’ve probably fantasized about what she would look like naked, and depending on how long you have been dating, you might be tired of waiting! However, there are many reasons why you shouldn’t ask your girlfriend for a naked picture of herself, especially if you haven’t been intimate with her yet!

When Asking For A Naked Picture Can Get Creepy

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex with each other yet, asking for a naked picture of her can be downright creepy and somewhat stalker-ish! For people to be comfortable enough with each other to pass naked pictures of each other back and forth, they usually have to had sex first. That doesn’t mean hurry up and have sex with your girlfriend just so you can get a naked picture of her though! Enjoy your relationship now, and intimacy will happen in its own time. There are many ways that having her take a picture of herself in the nude with her bare breasts can backfire, especially if you and her are under the age of eighteen. If you and her (or just her) are under the age of eighteen, having her take a nude photo is actually illegal and could get you in a lot of trouble. Plus, naked pictures always seem to get into the hands of people who shouldn’t have them, no matter how hard you try to keep them to yourself. Her parents may find them on her phone, or someone could put them up on the Internet without her or your knowledge! It’s better to steer clear of the potential mess that naked pictures can make entirely.

When To Ask

If you and your girlfriend are over the age of eighteen and have been intimate together for quite some time or are even possibly living together, she may be comfortable enough to provide you with a naked picture of yourself for your viewing pleasure. If this is the case, suggest a sexy photo shoot with your partner. Try clothes on at first and see what happens. Don’t push your girlfriend into doing anything she’s uncomfortable with, no matter how silly you may think it is that she doesn’t want to take a picture of herself nude. If she’s uncomfortable with it, drop it.

Q&A: I Feel Guilty If My Girlfriend Doesn’t Climax

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Getting your girl to climax can be a huge turn on for you. But you don’t want her to orgasm just sometimes, you want her to have an orgasm every single time you have sex with her! Is this a realistic expectation? Do women have orgasms as often as men? Here’s how to increase your chances of giving your girl the big O – and whether you can expect her to be able to do it every time.

Question: My girlfriend and I are both 20 and my question to you two GURU’s are if feeling bad is natural after having sex IF my girlfriend does not orgasm? About 65 % of the time she does climax, but when she doesn’t, I feel as if I HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR IT. Is it normal for girls not to climax as much as guys?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY5cp0ElCLc[/youtube]

It Might Not Happen Every Time

Men generally climax every time they have sex, but not always. Women, however, take longer to reach climax than guys and therefore may not have an orgasm every time. It may take her even longer to climax when she’s tired or stressed out, making it even more difficult for her to reach climax in a reasonable period of time. This is normal! A woman doesn’t have to have an orgasm each time she has sex to actually enjoy it – nor does a man. Don’t pressure to have an orgasm or hold out for a long time to wait for her to come. This will make it even harder for her to reach climax!

Communicate With Her

Talk to your partner and ask her what she’s in the mood for. She may want a quickie, or may be too tired to do anything at all! She may want to have sex but she may not feel up to having an orgasm. Let’s face it – having an orgasm is tiring! Don’t stress out about it if she doesn’t want to have an orgasm or even finds that she is unable to orgasm. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you or love you, and it certainly doesn’t mean she’s not enjoying sex with you. There are a lot of external reasons why a woman might not be able to climax at any given time. Communicate with her about how she’s feeling so you’re not left in the dark when she doesn’t have an orgasm.

The Best Ways To Give Her An Orgasm

Don’t assume that your penis is all she needs to reach the big “O.” In fact, many women find that vaginal penetration is the most difficult way to reach climax! Study up on some different ways to please your partner and put them into practice. Learn how to give her an orgasm using your mouth and your hands, and practice turning her on that way before you even start having sex! Some women will actually have multiple orgasms during sex if they’ve had one before sex through oral sex. If stress is her problem, try relaxing with her first and allowing her to de-stress from the day with a beer or a glass of wine. If being exhausted is her issue, try having sex in the morning before she goes to work for the day!

Q&A: Is It Normal To Get Random Erections During The Day?

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Getting unwanted unwanted erections during the day – especially when you’re not doing or thinking about anything sexual at all – can be a burden for many boys in their teenage years. What is normal when it comes to getting frequent erections and what can you do to stop it from happening?

Question: Dear Dan and Jennifer, I was wondering if it is normal to get random erections during the school day, and is there anything I can do to prevent it? Please help. Thanks, and I love your show. 🙂

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASTSXn6mmoA[/youtube]

The Role Teenage Hormones Play

Both teenage girls and boys have an abundance of hormones that are coursing through their body at any given time. The body is going through major changes during this stage and life and teenage hormones can cause lots of strange things to happen to the body. Almost all teenagers notice an increase in sweat, odor and acne, while teenage girls may notice their breasts becoming larger and will be starting their periods. Teenage boys, on the other hand, can experience erections at a variety of different times. Many boys experience “wet dreams” where the penis becomes hard and ejaculates during the night. Boys may also experience erections during the day, even when they’re not doing or thinking about anything sexual at all. This is completely normal and due to the increased hormones that boys experience during their teenage years.

Masturbation Can Reduce The Number Of Unwanted Erections

To reduce the amount of unwanted erections, masturbation can help. By masturbating, a young boy is releasing many of the hormones that are causing his erections in the first place and this will help keep the penis from becoming hard so often. Masturbate in the morning before school to try to prevent erections during the day, or try doing it in the evening. Masturbate at a variety of different times during the day to find out which time will reduce unwanted erections the most. Just be careful not to focus too much on masturbation. If you find that you’re always thinking about masturbation or planning your activities around your masturbation times too much, you may be addicted. Other than a serious masturbation addiction, masturbation is a normal and healthy way for teenage boys to relieve sexual tension and reduce unwanted erections.

Have Patience

Being a teenager is tough. There are so many awkward emotions and body functions that are involved during the teenage years for both boys and girls. It may seem like there’s no end in sight, but these problems won’t last forever. As you grow up, your body will produce less hormones and your emotions and body functions will level out. Don’t worry so much about it, because right now, everyone is going through the same things that you are. Everyone has issues during their teenage years, and lots of teenage boys experience unwanted erections and masturbate daily or almost daily. Avoid making fun of others for something that happens to you too! Have patience and know that this is a common, normal thing that happens to almost every teenage boy. Take comfort in the fact that you know it’s not going to last forever.