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Q&A: How Is A Vibrator Different From A Dildo?

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There are so many different sex toys on the market today that it can be difficult to not only tell the difference between them and what they can be used for, but also which one you’ll like the best. Is there a difference between a vibrator and a dildo, or are they actually the same thing? Here’s how you can tell.

Question: How is a vibrator different than a dildo? Some of my friends say it is the same thing.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRZ3XPmevpg[/youtube]

What Is A Dildo?

Typically, a dildo is used for insertion only. The most common type of dildos are the ones that are molded to look like real penises, but any sex toy that is used for insertion in either the vagina or the anus is a considered a dildo. Dildos can come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors and textures and range from the very small and discreet to the very large and kinky. Anal dildos have a wide, flared base at the bottom to prevent the toy from going too far inside the anal cavity, and some dildos have attachments for both anal and vaginal insertion at the same time. There are double dildos for use by two people, or dildos with strap on attachments that can be worn hands free.

What Is A Vibrator?

Dildos can also be vibrators, but not all vibrators are considered dildos. Vibrating dildos are used for insertion, but other types of vibrators exist as well. Clitoral vibrators are among the most popular type of vibrators for women, and are made to simply be placed on the clitoris. These types of vibrators are typically small, but some of them can be quite large, especially wand vibrators that are also sold as back and shoulder massagers. Other vibrators include anal vibrators and vibrating beads, bullets and ben-wa balls. G-spot vibrators are also popular for women, as they’re made for insertion into the vagina but include a special curve that allows them to reach and stimulate the g-spot.

How To Choose The Best Toy For You

There are so many different sex toys to choose from, it is sometimes hard to figure out which one you’ll like best. First, decide whether you want a toy that vibrates or not. If you don’t want anything that vibrates, you’re going to be looking mostly at dildos and can simply decide which size and texture you’d like to try. If you do want some type of vibrating toy, decide whether you want one for clitoral stimulation, vaginal insertion or both. Many vibrators come with clitoral vibrating attachements, giving you both types of pleasure at once. If you’re looking for clitoral stimulation only, try a small vibrating bullet or even a strap-on vibrator that you can wear both during sex and under your clothes that can give you hands free vibration. If you’re looking for both clitoral vibration and vaginal vibration or simply vaginal vibration, look for a Rabbit vibrator or a slim and sleek, easy to use vibrator. You may want to have more than one sex toy in your dresser drawer, because you may be in the mood for something a little different now and then!

Q&A: Losing My Erection – Am I Gay?

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Losing your erection can be frightening, especially if you’re not sure why. There are lots of reasons that men lose their erections, whether they’re young, old, gay or straight. If you find yourself unexpectedly losing your erection, you’re probably wondering what it’s all about – and how to fix it. Here’s what to do when you start going soft.

Question: I have a problem with sex. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 months now. We’ve had sex for couple times. If we make out I get an erection, but if i want to have sex with her, my erection just goes away. If I masturbate with my friends together, I will get a really hard and long-lasting erection. Do you think I am gay?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfmIUPBrLsg&feature=channel[/youtube]

Pressure To Perform

Very few men are able to get it on when they’re under intense pressure to perform. If you’re in a new relationship and you feel like your partner is really scrutinizing your every move and sizing you up (literally and figuratively) you’ll probably be a bit nervous when it’s time for the lights to go out. It is not at all uncommon for this type of sexual pressure to cause men to lose their erection or to make it difficult to achieve an erection at all.

What Do You Fantasize About?

If you’re wondering if losing your erection around a woman makes you gay, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Going soft when you’re with a woman doesn’t make you gay and it’s not at all an indicator of whether you might be gay or bisexual at all. What you fantasize about when you’re masturbating or having sex is the best way to tell if you’re truly gay or not. If you’re with a woman and wish you were with a man or fantasize about having sex with a man, you might be gay or bisexual. Otherwise, don’t stress if you’re just having some erection issues. It doesn’t have anything to do with your sexual orientation.

Sexual Comfort

Many men experience erectile problems when they’re not in their comfort zone. If you’re with a new partner and in a new relationship, you’re not going to be as comfortable sexually than if you’re with your friends or with someone you’ve been with before and are comfortable with. Even if you’re masturbating with your friends and your friends are guys, it doesn’t mean you’re gay if you consistently achieve a long lasting erection when you’re with them. It may be solely that you’re in a comfortable situation where you’re not feeling pressured to perform and you can relax enough to focus on your own pleasure. Try getting to know your partner outside of sex. Get to know them as a person and as a friend. When you do have sex with your partner, find a place that is comfortable for you, such as your home or your bed. Going to her home or even having sex in the car may make you uncomfortable enough to lose your erection. Give your relationship time. You may find that your problem resolves itself when you get to know your partner and your relationship becomes more solid.

Q&A: What’s The Best Sex Position For First Time Sex?

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The best sex positions are often a matter of personal preference, but is it normal to be concerned about what position to use if both partners are having sex for the first time? Yes, but choosing the best sex position for first time sex isn’t difficult at all. Here’s how you can relax, find the position that works for you and your partner and have fun!

Question: What’s the best position the man should be in if they are both having sex for the first time?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0uqOoCbtQo[/youtube]

Missionary Position

It may be cliché, but it’s a classic. The missionary position is considered the most natural, easiest position to get into. With the man on top, he can be in control of the thrusting and the woman can be in control of the angle of her pelvis to help prevent his penis from going in too deep and causing discomfort for the first time. Typically, most people use the missionary position when having sex for the first time, simply because it’s a position that is comfortable for just about everyone. You can go slow or fast with the missionary position, or start slow and build up speed as you and your partner get closer to orgasm.

Other Positions

While there are hundreds of other sex positions you can choose from for your first time having sex, it may not be the best idea. Sex positions like doggy style or woman on top will allow your penis to penetrate her vagina too deeply at first, causing extreme discomfort and pain for her. As you and your partner continue to have sex and her vagina becomes accommodated to your penis, she will be able to relax more and start to feel more comfortable with other sex positions. Some positions, however, aren’t focused so much on deep penetration, such as spooning. Talk to your partner about sex positions that she might be interested in for her first time, and ask her to be honest about her concerns. Is she afraid that some sex positions will hurt, or is she more interested in trying an advanced sex position? There’s nothing wrong with using any sex position you want to for your first time, as long as you and your partner are both comfortable with it and it feels good.

Remember To Have Fun

Great sex isn’t about the perfect position. You certainly don’t have to pick the “best” sex position to have fun, and you don’t have to have the best sex position to make your first time sex special. Relax a little and remember to have fun. Sometimes, things don’t go perfectly the first time and that’s okay. Your first time, as well as hers, will be special no matter what if you have a good attitude about it and aren’t stressed about having a flawless first time. If you try a certain position and it’s not working out for either your or your partner, don’t be afraid to try something else or get creative. There’s no certain way your first time has to be. Just make sure you and your partner are having a good time!

Q&A: I Feel Guilty Being Naked. Please Help!

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Sexual guilt comes in many forms. Some people feel guilty about having sex if they’re not married, and others feel guilty about being naked with their partners after sex. Being naked is natural, and something beautiful you can share with your partner and only with your partner. Here’s how you can get over your post-nookie nervousness.

Question: I’m in a relationship with a boy that I’m completely crazy about. We were both each other’s first and our sex life is great. What I do have a problem with is post-sex guilt about him seeing me naked. I know that he thinks I’m beautiful and loves me, and we’re both having fun while we’re having sex, but I can’t help but feel guilty afterwards because no one else has ever seen me completely naked before. Can you give me some advice? Thanks (and I love your videos).

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGLZWKjbLs0[/youtube]

You’re Perfect The Way You Are

No two people are created alike. Everyone is created differently, with different features and body types. Everyone is perfect and special just the way they are because there is absolutely no one that is exactly like them. Unfortunately, when it comes to being comfortable with your own body, saying is easier than believing. Many people are afraid of being naked and feel that they aren’t good enough, beautiful enough or thin enough. They are constantly comparing themselves to models and celebrities, because unfortunately society suggests that this is what is considered “beautiful.” You may not look like a celebrity or model, but you’re absolutely beautiful because you’re you.

Religious And Moral Suppression

Many religions shun nudity, or believe that being naked is “dirty.” Even though nudity with your partner is obviously allowed after marriage, a person may still carry guilt about being naked from when they were younger. Many parents will yell and get upset if their children see them naked or happen to walk in on them having sex. Many parents don’t teach their children about the beauty of the naked body or won’t allow their children and teens to view nudity at all in any form, and end up teaching their child that being naked is something that is shameful. This will often affect a relationship negatively, because it’s difficult to truly get close to your partner when you’ve been subjected to that kind of sexual repression.

Learn To Be Comfortable With Yourself

It’s time to learn to be comfortable with your own body and learn to love yourself and feel beautiful in your own skin every day. Practice standing in the mirror naked every day and find something about your body that you really like. Even if it’s something small, such as the color of your skin in the sunlight or the shape of your breasts. Find something different to like every day. You can also start a gratitude journal, where every day you write five things you love about your body. You can also write about why it’s okay to be naked, or what you like about being naked. Try spending time with your partner in the nude without having sex, such as watching a movie naked or just lying next to each other and talking without your clothes on. All of these activities will help you to become more comfortable with your own body and being naked.

Q&A: How Can I Make My Girlfriend Want To Kiss Me?

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Your first kiss in a new relationship is an important milestone, whether you’ve had dozens of kisses before or have never kissed anyone at all. If you’re going for your first kiss in a new relationship, rushing your partner into it before she wants to can actually backfire on you. Here’s what to do if you’re ready – and she’s not.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I recently got a girlfriend and I really want to kiss her, but she says she doesn’t want to kiss because  this is her first relationship and she doesn’t want to kiss until we are older. But I REALLY like her and I was wondering what I can do to make her want to kiss?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXI_N2cyE1k[/youtube]

Respect Her Boundaries

Whenever someone says “no” to something, you absolutely have to respect that. Regardless of whether they’re a guy or a girl or what stage your relationship is in, you simply can’t ignore someone if they’re telling you they’re uncomfortable doing something that you want them to do. This applies to kissing, as well as sex. If your partner isn’t ready to kiss you yet, you can’t try to push her past her boundaries. Instead, learn to respect these boundaries because if you were the one who wasn’t comfortable with something, you wouldn’t want her to pressure you about it.

Practice Patience

In any situation where your partner lets you know that they’re not ready to do something or aren’t comfortable with something, it’s important that you learn to practice patience. Having patience when your partner says “no” isn’t always easy, especially if she says “no” to something you want very badly, but it’s the right thing to do. Even if you’re convinced that kissing her will take your relationship to a new and exciting level and she’ll really like it once she tries it, if she’s not ready that’s it. It’s over. Try to fill your time with your partner with other fun things, like playing baseball together or hanging out with friends. If you find yourself tempted to kiss your partner often, plan things to do with her that don’t create quiet, awkward moments alone together. Avoid going to the movies where other people are making out and try to stay busy doing fun activities together so you don’t think so much about kissing her and instead you’re focusing on just being with her and having fun with her.

Could It Harm Your Relationship?

Pressuring your partner to kiss you before she is ready can actually do harm to your relationship. At first she will be annoyed, and then she will become frustrated with you and come to resent you for not respecting her wants and needs. Trying to talk her into doing something she’s made clear she’s uncomfortable with doesn’t win you any brownie points. Even if she gives in and gives you what you want in the end, chances are she’ll remember the hurt for a long time. This definitely has the potential to damage your relationship, so if you value what you have with your partner at all, you won’t pressure her to do something she’s just not ready for.