sex tips – Page 220

Too Tired for Sex? Try This…

Sometimes we all get caught up in careers, kids and parenthood, life and stress.

Often that affects our relationships with our significant other, especially the sexual side of things.

What happens when you just can’t find the time and the energy?

The Secret to Creating Sexual Energy

Here is something you can try, something fun and exciting and all you have to do is open up and figure out how to use it best to create the most exciting sexual energy available on the planet. It is without a doubt the most important sexual element that you can get.

What is it?

Is it a toy, a tool, a strategy?

Can anybody get it?

Where can you buy it?

Can you show me online?

Is it something that shows up in my spam folder everyday?

The answer is “none of the above”. No, you can’t buy it, you can’t find it out in the world, it’s not available online.

The great thing about it is that everybody has access to it. Everybody can use it. It is just a matter of being open-minded and learning to use it to your advantage.

The most important sexual element available in the world is your own mind. You can create more excitement and fun, anticipation and pleasure by using the power of your own mind than any other thing you could ever come across.

Here is a Fun Strategy Proven to Work Wonders

Start in the morning, set a time for a “date” in the evening with your loved one. Both of you plan a time when you can get together and spend some quality time. And then go on with your day.

During the day, spend some time visualizing and anticipating your date. It is really nice when you can include the other person. If you are around your loved one, you can do little things to include them in your fantasy, a kiss on the neck, a loving touch in the right places, some passionate kisses can all increase your level of anticipation. And that is what you are trying to do, get your mind going with an excited level of anticipation for your “date”.

If you are not with your partner during the day, you can still participate in this type of foreplay, you will just have to be more creative.

How do you normally communicate with your loved one?

Text messages are great for sending just a little note to tell your partner how much you are looking forward to being with them and spending some quality time on loving. You can also use some of the more old-fashioned modes, sending a sweet love letter, or calling on the phone to say how much you love them and how excited you are for your date.

The point is to spend the entire day in anticipation and building up the excitement for your time together in the evening. Imagine and visualize the loving time together and appreciate and be grateful for the love and excitement you feel for this person that you love.

Some may say that this takes away from the spontaneity and excitement and of course there is always a place and a time for that kind of lovemaking. But for those couples who may feel that life is getting ahead of them and they are finding it difficult to get into that mode, your minds can work wonders for your sex-life.

Because like many things in life, The Joy is in the Journey.

Featured Author, Karen Lynch is a Law of Attraction and Personal Development Expert and founder of the empowering and inspiring website www.livethepower.com. You can read more of her inspirational and motivational writings at the Live the Power blog at http://www.livethepower.com/blog

Why Condoms are the Latest Trend in Women’s Personal Care Products

By loveandsex

Ahhhh the condom…

Mention it and you can clear a room faster than yelling “FIRE!”

So what do we all have against this poor little piece of latex?

Well, it can be an awkward addition to a passionate event… sort of the third party of a love triangle you don’t want to deal with.

But practically speaking, you should always have a condom with you.

Women should listen intently to this…

The Condom is a WOMAN’S Product

The condom is a very effective means of contraception, and helps to protect against Sexually Transmitted Diseases, including HIV. Women are at higher risk for most of these infections than men, simply because of the way we are designed. Some 300,000 American women have HIV or AIDS alone, and there is a new diagnosis about every 30 minutes. By age 50 at least 80% of women will have acquired genital HPV infection.

If the condom is there for contraception and to alleviate some of the spread of these viruses why aren’t more women carrying them?

It’s ironic that women can take birth control without much social consequence. Yet somehow if a woman carries a condom it places a stigma on her and conjures so many questions. Why does she need to carry condoms? Is she looking for sex? Is she easy? A woman’s answers to these questions are her own, and no one else’s business unless she invites someone into her business.

So while we all do our part to shift the stigma away from a woman taking care of herself, we can make carrying condoms a bit more discreet and a lot less embarrassing. There are so many products out there to alleviate this issue.

New Trends in Feminine Condom Accessories

You can carry them in a luxurious condom compact, like the one called Just In Case, that looks like a make up compact, but has a secret compartment for two condoms. You can even open the compact and use the mirror without giving away your secret stash! Check it out at www.JustInCaseInc.com.

If you want to keep condoms near your bedside, take a look at the Devine Condom Cube. A cute little leather cube with a magnetic closure that will hold your condoms with a little more design flair than the box they originally came in. Check this one out at www.RomanticGifts.com.

Hate the packaging of the condom itself? Check out ONE brand condoms; a new brand with a designer flair. At first glance you may not even know what it is with it’s new round packaging and avant-garde graphics. You can find these little gems at www.JIC2compact.com.

It’s Time to Shift the Paradigm for Women Carrying Condoms

The new reason to carry a condom is self respect. The new reaction to women carrying condoms must be positive. There is nothing sexier and more attractive than a woman who takes care of herself in every aspect of life. A woman who gives herself the gift of self-respect and self-love, will require that from her partner, and that woman’s partner will return the gift by honoring her request for protection. It’s a dance, when we’re unsure, we step on each others toes. When we know the steps, and follow the music, it can be the most beautiful time in your life. Keep it beautiful, keep yourself protected.

This article is brought to you by JustInCaseInc.com. To sponsor an article on AskDanAndJennifer.com, Click Here.

Finding A Rhythm That Works When She’s “On Top”

By speaksexy

Being in the “on top” position during sex can be a nerve-wracking experience for both women and men.

The expectation to please and to make the person “on bottom” orgasm can easily turn a playful sexual experience into an emotional disaster. Although it’s commonly assumed that the person in the dominant position has more control over the situation, and is therefore less vulnerable, this is not often the case from an emotional perspective.

Sure, they may be controlling the movements, but they are also putting their physical selves and their sexual prowess on display. If these attributes are commented upon or criticized by their partners, it could lead to feelings of shame – an emotion that rarely, if ever, makes sex better.

Women Can Be Particularly Vulnerable to “On Top” Criticisms

Because women are still “supposed” to be the sexually submissive sex, when a woman does work up enough courage to take a controlling position in bed she’s likely to be even more nervous than her male counterparts ever were. Most women feel rather out of place and very hesitant the first few times they try to be on top.

(Guys, remember how you felt the first time you had sex and were expected to “take control” of things?! Now multiply that by five and you’ll have an idea of how she’s feeling.) This nervousness often leads to jerky movements, sudden stops, and a general lack of sexual “flow.” The results can be an “on bottom” partner who not only doesn’t reach orgasm, but may start wondering where his usually submissive and confident sex kitten has gone.

Everyone Has to Find Their Own Sexual “Groove”

Just like everyone has their own special way of boogy-ing down on the dance floor, everyone has their own internal sexual rhythms they need to discover, usually via trial and error. Often by the time men are in their thirties they’ve practically forgotten what it was like to not have a defined sexual pattern. Women, on the other hand, often aren’t comfortable enough to explore their sexuality fully until they are in their thirties, which makes finding their natural rhythms (the ones that really come from their own bodies – not the ones that come from following someone else’s) that much harder.

Tips to Calm Her Down and Help Find Her Own Rhythm

Use Background Music – One of the easiest ways to relax into a sexual situation is to play your favorite sensual tunes in the background. Not only will music give her a little “mind escape” since she can close her eyes and let her imagination drift – very helpful is she is really nervous – but it will provide her with a rhythm. She can further play with this idea by picking music of varying tempos to see which ones “feel” the best to her, and to her partner.

Stop Thinking Up and Down and Start Thinking Front and Back – Many women who first get on top have an image of a woman “bouncing” up and down on her partner. The up and down motion does, of course, work for some women in some situations, but don’t forget to try rocking her hips back and forth as well! This kind of serpentine motion tends to feel more natural for women and is perfect for either the woman-sitting-man-lying-down positions or the woman-and-man-sitting positions. By rocking her hips front and back she not only stimulates her g-spot (and often her clitoris against his pubis), but gives the man intense stimulation without ever having to “pull out.” Start off slowly, varying the speed and the depth of penetration (it can be too intense if she fully sits down and he is completely inside). This is a great technique that can bring most men to orgasm in a way they never expected.

Let Him Lead in the Beginning – For women who are very unsure of how they should proceed, why not let him lead with his hands on her hips in the beginning? This can make her feel more emotionally secure since he is still somewhat in control, and will give her a chance to get used to the new vantage point. Once she is ready, let her go slowly, let her try out different things, and be supportive. Tell her what feels good, what angles you enjoy. And never hesitate to let her know how great she looks “up there!”

Final Things to Consider

Faster is not always better! It’s very common for women to find and enjoy slower rhythms than men. However, this doesn’t mean the woman on top sex position can’t make men orgasm just as easily. In fact many men find a medium paced rhythm to be both effective and excruciatingly pleasurable since it tends to draw out the excitement phase that much longer.

And Guys, if your partner isn’t the smoothest of lovers right away, please try to hide any confusion you may have and remember to be encouraging. She’ll find her “groove” eventually. And when she does, don’t be surprised if you have to wrestle her to the bottom just to get some of your own “on top” time back again!

Satisfaction or Frustration – How Would You Describe Your Sex Life?

By melody

A while back I sat with a beautiful older woman who had been struggling with depression for most of her life. She and her husband have been married close to 40 years, and their relationship has become distant, though they still report to love each other.

I was shocked to learn that in 40 years she had never experienced a climax with her husband. She didn’t even know what it was until her body did it spontaneously during a dream.

My grandmother was 65 before she had ever experienced one either. She had been married to my grandfather for 50 years. After he died a man she had known in high school contacted her and eventually they married. Only then, at 65 did she discover what sex was all about. That was 20 years ago.

I foolishly have thought that women today are not in that same boat; that with all the sexual education there is out there today, women couldn’t possibly not know about climaxing. Obviously, I was wrong. As I sat looking at my client who had opened up about this for the first time in her life I realized that there must be other women out there like her. I am sure she is not the only one.

It would be easy to blame the husbands for not being sensitive to their wives needs, but that would be wrong. The reality is that these men know as little about sex as their wives. I cannot imagine that men who love their wives would knowingly not want their wives to enjoy their sexual relationship. But they are obviously unaware of what is happening with their wives and have never really enjoyed true physical intimacy with their partner. How terribly sad this is for both partners.

Society teaches men that they are supposed to somehow innately know how to please their wives, and that if they don’t, they are not real men. How many men out there don’t even know that they don’t know? Men, believing that they should know, are forced to act as if they know. Women without any awareness of sexuality or their own bodies don’t know what or how to tell their man any different.

Talking about sex, whether you are a man or a woman is touchy. How do you tell your husband, “Honey I love you but the sex is terrible.”

How do you tell your wife, “I don’t know if I am pleasing you.”

Both situations leave us feeling inadequate and fearful. But if we don’t find a way to breach the subject we run the risk of living 40 or 50 years without the joy of true sexual intimacy.

If you are a husband and haven’t talked with your wife about her sexual satisfaction, you are limiting not only her joy, but also yours. Having a sexually satisfied wife will make your life better; trust me. Her overall sense of well being will increase, her satisfaction with you as a mate will increase, her mood will be more stable and she will be more attentive to your needs. No matter how anxious you are about it, just asking will help her know that you love her and care for her.

Likewise women, ask your husband about how you can make love in a way that is more pleasing to him, and this will open the door to talking about what he can do to make lovemaking more fun for you. Then, take a breath and tell him what feels good to you. Our bodies were designed to give us pleasure and the act of making love is designed increase our sense of intimacy with our partners.

One important caveat: Start this discussion during a quiet afternoon or morning with your partner outside of the bedroom. Bring it up when you are not in the process or about to be in the process of making love. That time is too sacred, too fueled with insecurities and vulnerabilities to be optimum.

When we can allow ourselves to take the risk of asking for what we want, we have the potential for having not only a more satisfying sexual relationship, but a deeper intimate connection with our loved one.

5 Wicked Ways to Get Kinky in the Kitchen

By speaksexy

It’s no surprise to learn one of the sexiest places in a house is the kitchen; the delicious smells, the beautiful colors, the way everything simmers together, tempting our senses into complete and utter abandon…

Unfortunately most of us never get the opportunity to fully explore all of the hidden erotic treasures patiently awaiting us in our kitchen drawers because we’re too busy reheating yesterday’s pizza to actually spend three savory hours indulging in our sensual creativity.

So here’s my suggestion – make a little cooking date with your lover on a Saturday, or a Sunday, or whenever. Treat it just as you would any other date, give the children to their grandparents, get a babysitter, etc. Make sure the two of you have plenty of time to relax and to really “get into” whatever happens to come up.

Go through your cupboards, your refrigerator, and your pantry with kinky eyes.

Ask yourself questions like “how would that feel running up my spine?” or “how else could this fork be used?”

Before you know it everything will seem wonderfully tempting, and you’ll be well on your way to making steamy memories that will no doubt have you blushing the next time you stick that boring old pizza into the oven.

If, however, you still need a bit of inspiration to get your naughty juices flowing, keep reading.

Five Very Wicked Ways To Turn Your Ordinary Kitchen Accoutrements Into Brazenly Devilish Sex Toys

1. The Spanking Wooden Spoon – Near and dear to my own playful heart, I get a fluttery feeling every time I use one of these classic, extra-large wooden stirring spoons. For the edgy players among you, using a spoon for spanking purposes is not a very shocking idea.

After all, whenever a paddle’s not handy, a wooden spoon will always do the trick! It’s sturdy, fairly wide, and gives that yummy mix of sting and thud. Oh come on, be daring and give your partner a soft teasing whack – their reaction might surprise you!

2. Chip Clip Nipple Clamps – Warning, not for the faint of heart. I’m a little hesitant to make this suggestion because it has to be the right kind of chip clip – you should only use ones that are flat on the inside, NOT the kind with little teeth or jagged edges meant to hold the bag closed tighter! Although impromptu nipple (or other body part) clamps are a fun idea, remember how easily this skin can be damaged and use your common sense. Smaller clips have less power so are better suited for this pain/pleasure toy. And don’t forget to sooth those fire-hot nipples afterward with a little melting ice from the freezer…

3. Really Hot Chocolate – Find a great recipe for homemade hot fudge and make it together. The aroma of melting chocolate alone should get your mind wandering into happy land. Once it’s finished and cooled enough that you can touch it without burning yourself, begin to finger-feed it to your lover. Remember, the point is to be sensual and indulgent. Do it slowly, deliberately.

Watch as your lover takes your finger into their mouth, let yourself feel the roughness of their tongue, pay attention! Don’t be afraid to get sticky and very messy. You know this activity has gone well when all of his, um, “fingers” and all of her “lips” have been completely covered in chocolate – preferably over and over again!

4. Rolling Pin Massage – Grant it, this suggestion is more fun and light-hearted than the others, but we all need a little relaxing warm-up don’t we? I know it’s a funny image, but using a rolling pin to massage the sides of your back, butt, thighs and calves actually feels great! The big handles make it really easy to use and you can get wonderfully long strokes out of it.

Feel free to laugh along the way, but eventually your partner will appreciate the real massage he or she is getting – even if it is from a rolling pin!

5. Guessing Game – Cover your lover’s eyes with a blindfold, or if you think they won’t cheat just tell them to close their eyes. Pick about twenty-five different cooking utensils (tongs, forks, basters, etc.) and use them of various parts of your lover’s (naked) body. Pinch them with the tongs, blow air in their face with the baster – you get the gist. Have your lover try to guess what you are using on them.

For every correct guess, offer them a sexual favor of their choice, and for every wrong guess they have to do something for you. Clearly this simple game can go in many different directions, so you can take it as far as you’d both like.

Of course, these ideas are just the beginning. Your kitchen’s sexuality completely depends on your own unique imagination and preferences, so please don’t ever feel limited to what you’ve heard or what other people have done!

Give yourself and your lover the freedom to be silly, kinky, weird. Something memorable is bound to come out of all that loving energy!