Okay, so you’ve agreed to give talking dirty a go with your partner. You may be a little nervous, but you love them so much and only want to make them happy. Besides, your sex life could really use a boost. However, many people make grave mistakes when learning how to dirty talk and these mistakes will end up causing more problems than you originally bargained for. Like you, many people have the potential to fall into the trap of these 5 mistakes. Avoid these mistakes at all costs to save yourself the embarrassment of a dirty talk attempt gone horribly wrong!
Mistake 1: Emulating The Dirty Talk In Porn Films
A good deal of women are turned off by porn, so try not to emulate what you’ve seen during some of those movies. Lots of them have cheesy lines and actors that aren’t up for academy awards for a very good reason. Many of these lines are not only cheesy, but they can be crass and derogatory towards women and sometimes even men. Also remember that these lines are scripted, and very, very fake. Your partner will definitely be able to tell that you’re not sincere at all in your dirty talk if you use lines from a porn movie. Avoid copying what you hear the porn stars say in the bedroom and you’ll be on your way to successful dirty talk.
Mistake 2: Making The Dirty Talk Unbelievable
Be aware that sometimes talking dirty can come across as very insincere. Telling your man, “Your cock is so huge,” when in reality is only about 3 inches isn’t going to make him suddenly feel like a stud. It’s actually going to make him feel much more self conscious about his smaller size. Likewise, telling her that that you love her massive tits when she is more “grape” than “grapefruit” in size will more than likely backfire. Sure, indulge a little but don’t go completely overboard with your exaggeration. In fact, when your lover is overly conscious of his or her size, dirty talk can do amazing things to boost their confidence. Tell the guy with the tiny penis that his cock rubs your clit so perfectly it makes you cum or whisper to your wife that you love being able to put her whole breast in your mouth. Dirty talk gives you the avenue to banish their insecurities and make them eager for more hot sex with you. Instead of exaggerating what they’re insecure about, talk about how much you love it. They’ll feel great about their body if they know it makes you really, really hot.
Mistake 3: Putting False Expectations In Their Heads
When you’re using dirty talk, don’t tell your partner about things you honestly have NO intentions of doing (ie. a threesome, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, midgets, bondage, etc.) You may find that it triggers some new fantasies or embeds some new images in his or her mind that he or she could continue to ask you to talk about and then want to act them out in real life. Reserve your dirty talk for things that you and your partner can actually make happen. Tell her that you want to bend her over the washing machine and do her from behind or tell him that you want to give him road head the next time you guys have a long drive in the car.
Mistake 4: Using Dirty Talk As The Sizzle Rather Than The Spice
Talking dirty can also become redundant, just like the same sex positions day after day after day. Make sure that you don’t use the same phrases over and over, or trust me, it will have the exact opposite effect and your partner might end up thinking, “Ok, I’ve heard that so many times. Please shut up already!” Instead, try your best to find new and different ways of telling your partner that they turn you on or what you want to do to them when you get them alone. If you’re having trouble thinking of something new to say, try using your surroundings as an inspiration. Going grocery shopping? Tell her how hot it would make you if you bought a very smooth, large cucumber and used it at home! Dirty talk won’t get boring if you use your imagination.
Mistake 5: Giving Up When It’s Not Turning Them On
Sometimes dirty talk can be more comical than erotic, depending on what is said and how it is said. It’s okay to laugh! But don’t give up. There’s actually a lot to learn! It’s not just the words you say, it’s how you say them. If your dirty talk isn’t appearing to turn your partner on, ask them why. Keep open communication about what they like and what they don’t like. If they’re not into something in particular, it doesn’t mean they’re turned off by dirty talk all together. It just means that that particular phrase didn’t do that much for them. Find something else to say instead!