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Multiple Orgasms – Did You Know That It IS Possible For Men Too?

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Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student. Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress.

It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine. To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body.

One of the techniques it teaches allows men to have an orgasm without ejaculating, which makes it possible for him to come again and again.

How is This Possible?

Well, by using tantric principles, such as breathing, visualizing, and squeezing the love muscles to draw sexual energy from the sex organs up the spine to the back of the brain, a man can learn to ride the waves of orgasm and start coasting along the crest of those waves like a skilled surfer.

He can go down in the valley of the wave and enjoy playing more safely in a sweet and intensive romantic/spiritual space, absorbing the benefits resulting from the heightened pleasure he just achieved. He feels as if he’s buzzing with energy, more open and tender toward his partner and himself.

They can look into each other’s eyes, exchange gentle caresses, or simply breathe together to expand the state of bliss. All this can be done without the man losing the precious life-force contained in his semen.

Then the couple can proceed to make love actively, and reach several peaks in one love session. After having reached several peaks and experienced several body orgasms, the man can choose to have an ejaculatory orgasm if desired.

Controlling Ejaculation

How quickly a man can learn to control his ejaculation response depends on how much he practices, and the attitude he practices with. It’s almost a paradox: The more patient and loving you are with yourself, the less in a hurry to achieve quick results, the faster you’ll learn.

That’s because relaxation is the key, and you can’t be relaxed if you’re very goal-oriented. When you’re goal-oriented, you’re tense and usually judgmental. Ideas like, “I don’t know if I’ll ever learn this stuff…..Perhaps it’s not for me….I’m wasting my time….” or similar discouraging thoughts will retard the process of learning.

Be Positive and Loving

Start with self-pleasuring sessions as though you would pleasure the body of a god, or a person you love and admire. In such a case you wouldn’t care how long it takes that person to learn ejaculation control, or anything else. It helps if you set the mood by lighting a candle, burning your favorite incense, and perhaps having some of your favorite flowers or inspiring pictures in view.

The right kind of music can help set the right atmosphere for relaxation as well. Each time you pleasure yourself and feel an ejaculation approaching, try to become more consciously aware of all the signals your body is sending you. With practice, you’ll be better able to anticipate, and then regulate, your reaction.

Regulate Your Reaction

By the way, the more I work with clients concerned about ejaculation control, the more I realize that the word “control” is not really appropriate. It’s rather a redistribution of energy throughout the body. With breathing techniques and the use of your PC (pubo-coccyceal) muscles, you engage your imagination.

Visualize that you’re bringing the very hot energy that has collected around your genitals to the rest of your body, especially to your heart, mixed with a feeling of love for yourself. It’s almost as if you’re opening up a dam and letting the flow of water run along the river. Imagine that it’s a river of warm energy, love and light, spreading throughout your body.

Most men need to try more than one session before they can actually own the techniques that will extend their pleasure by postponing their ejaculation.

While reading about these techniques can point you in the right direction, it really helps when someone knowledgeable can guide you through the experience, and this is one of the areas where an experienced Tantric practitioner can aid you immensely in your practice.

Finally! The Truth About Female Ejaculation…

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Can a woman ejaculate? The answer is a definite, yes. With proper stimulation of the Gspot, women can ejaculate a fluid from ducts located around the urethra. It is located in the front wall of the vagina under the pubic bone.

This is a spongy area two inches or more inside the yoni (vagina)  depending on the size of the yoni and the location of the clitoris. It is actually South Pole of the clitoris.

The First Documentation of Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation was documented in ancient China and India where the Goddess-spot massage was a common Tantric-sex technique. Tantric texts call the liquid produced amrita, or “sweet nectar.” It is a protein-based fluid, found to be chemically different from urine. It is believed to have great healing properties.

This knowledge is slowly coming to the awareness of non-Tantric people like Dr. Mitchell Levine, a gynecologist/obstetrician at the Women Care clinic, in Arlington, who declares that women do ejaculate. He believes that the hush-hush aura around the subject does not help women or men. He believes that is should become common knowledge.

Medicine Ignores Women’s Sexuality

Sexuality, and especially women’s sexuality, does not receive much attention in medical school. In fact, one female gynecologist approached for this story declined comment, admitting not to know enough about the subject.

Our in so many other ways advanced western culture is badly informed about human sensuality. Medical encyclopedias still do not mention female ejaculation. There is some information, however, on The Complete Guide to Women’s Health.

Don’t Make Something Out of Nothing

The quantity of amrita is not indicative of how much the woman enjoys her release. Therefore, please men don’t make it an issue. Some woman I’ve been working with say they experience intense pleasurable feeling of release and often ejaculate three to nine times or more during one session of sex, each ejaculatory orgasm giving them more pleasure than the previous one.

However, the experience of female ejaculation varies from woman to woman. Some dribble a small amount of fluid; others soak the sheets.

Some women get concerned that they’re urinating, and they need to be reassured that this is not the case. It is amrita they secrete, not urine. In fact amrita does not smell or taste like urine.

The G-Spot Itself

The G-spot itself has been a subject of controversy since its “discovery” in 1944 by gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg. The “G” in the gspot stands for Granfenberg. In the ’60s, sexologists Masters and Johnson announced that female orgasms occurred primarily through stimulation of the clitoris, not the vagina, where the Gspot is found.

The G Spot (Holt, Rinehart, and Winston), a 1982 book by Beverly Whipple, Alice Ladas, and John Perry, refuted this claim and provides ample evidence that the g spot exists. My colleague, Dr. Gary Schubach, wrote a very enlightening thesis on the g spot. You can find it at http://www.doctorg.com.

Some feminists fear that widespread knowledge about female ejaculation will burden women with one more “trick” they must master in bed to feel fully orgasmic. While this is a true concern, I think that withholding knowledge is not the right approach. Educating women about their birthright to full enjoyment of their bodies is a positive approach.

Tantric approaches do not put any pressure on performance neither for males nor for females. In Tantra what is most important is the deep heart to heart connection and caring between the lovers while they experience the pleasure in lovemaking. The goal is connection and deepening intimacy, not performance.

Did You Know That Tantra Can Help Sexual Dysfunction?

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There is a certain embarrassment or even shame that is connected with sexual dysfunctions. No one would be ashamed to have, for example, a liver or heart dysfunction.

One would be sad but not embarrassed and one would immediately ask a professional for help.

Common Sexual Dysfunction

The most common sexual dysfunctions that men experience are: loss of desire, erectile dysfunctions, premature ejaculation and impotence. Some women experience: inhibited sexual desire, lack of orgasm, insufficient lubrification and painful intercourse.

According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, in 2005 more than 105 million Americans have reported struggling with chronic sexual dysfunctions and many of them were not aware that there is help available. Diabetes can be one of the causes of sexual dysfunctions.

Also some prescription medications for depression can have a negative effect on sexual desire.

What Causes Sexual Dysfunction

There are many causes: some of them are related to hormone production, to blocks to the flow of energy, to shallow anxious breathing and unhealthy diet, just to mention a few.

The hormonal production tends to diminish with age, and you could consult a good endocrinologist to check your hormonal production status. There is a lot of information available on the internet. It’s worth learning about it.

There are also products available that are natural, organic, that very safely stimulate the body to increase production of the body’s natural growth hormones.

You Are What You Eat

What you eat and drink is also important. There are certain simple recommendations you might want to observe most of the time: eat your biggest meal between 12 and 2 PM; eat fish vegetables often; keep your stomach light at night; drink lots of water during the day. Drinking a little alcohol can help lower inhibitions, while drinking too much can inhibit sexuality.

Breathing Matters

Breathing shallowly and high in the chest is probably the most important single cause of lack of energy and anxiety during lovemaking. Through the years, we became habituated to breathe shallow breaths, often filling only the higher part of our chest where the lungs are narrow and smaller.

The body brings the venous blood to the lungs to be purified and the largest veins are located on the bottom of the lungs. Venous blood contains carbon dioxide and other poisonous gases that need to be exchanged with oxygen and thus transformed into vital arterial blood that nourished and strengthens the body.

To be fully present and energetic lovers, we need to learn to breathe to facilitate this exchange as fully as possible. Tantra teaches different breaths for different purposes. Some of the most used techniques are to increase energy and to retain energy without going over the top.

Sometimes It’s Emotional

However, many of the sexual dysfunctions are due to emotional issues, entrenchment into set habits, undelivered communications and resentments that could build a cold wall between couples and unconscious issues coming to the surface.

A good Tantric Healer can help you look at those issues with increased energy and guide you to use this powerful Tantric tools to open up blocks and take care of unfinished issues that limit the joy of our lovemaking.

Lots of issues have been repressed and feeling rationalized instead of felt. When emotions are not expressed, blocks to the flow of energy form along the pathway where erotic energy would otherwise flow to the whole body.

When blocks are present your vitality is lower and sex becomes more a “squeeze and burst” event, at best a letting go of tension instead of an exchange to deepen your love for each other.

The Connection Between Emotions and Lovemaking

Some men have trained themselves with techniques to “making her come” the fastest way possible so that they can “come” thus missing the opportunity for emotional connection and really fulfilling lovemaking.

This way of having sex gives leaves you with a sense of immediate relief but robs you of the opportunity to use this powerful energy for deep heart connection and nurturing. Thus lovers are depriving themselves of deeper and longer pleasure that could enliven all the cells of the body.

Making love could be the greatest way to “make love” grow and to live a longer, happier life.

Deep breathing helps bring emotions to the surface. “E-motion” means energy in motion. When emotions are felt sexual energy can reach higher levels riding higher and wider waives sending into ecstatic lovemaking that is really fulfilling. Sex without emotions leaves people tired, empty and sometimes sad. We instinctively know there is more to it.

Deep breathing is also a key to avoiding anxiety about performance. When your whole body tingles with aliveness and when you hear our lover breathe equally deeply, perhaps even making a sound on each exhalation, you are less prone to thinking about performance and more about riding the waves of pleasure a little longer.

Tantra offers the view that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience and as such we have infinite potential for expressing love. By adding the spiritual dimension into the lovemaking it elevates it to ecstasy and adds opens doors for infinite creativity.

As spiritual beings we have infinite potential available and therefore boredom is no longer a danger.

What is Tantra and Tantric Sex?

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Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student.

Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress. It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine.

What Tantra Is and Isn’t

However, Tantra is not a religion. Tantra does not require anyone to follow any dogmas. Rather, it encourages us to discover through our own experience our true creative potential for pleasure, and our ability to connect with all the elements that surround us, and the spirit that we all share.

To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body. This helps us clear blocks interfering with the movement of energy, and guides us into altered states of consciousness.

There we can transcend our everyday self-identification, and we can get a glimpse of our true larger reality. This includes the body, and goes beyond to include “all that is.” It’s a state of great expansion and orgasmic pleasure that surpasses by far the short-lived ejaculatory orgasm that many are accustomed to.

Engaging in the Tantric Journey

There are many wonderful book on Tantra, and reading can open your mind up to Tantra, but in order to actually engage in the journey, I think the best way to start is with a good guide. Why do many people need a guide?

Some books can be confusing and no matter how well written they can never express the warmth and guidance of a real knowledgeable professional who can transmit her energy and knowledge to the seekers who are open to receive it.

Connect With and Clear Emotional Issues

If you want to prepare for a really high Tantric experience with each other, it is also essential to start by taking time to connect and catch up with emotional issues that might linger unexpressed. People often leave these issues unsaid because of some common rationalizations, such as “I don’t want to start a fight with her” or “he’s not ready to hear me.”

But when we leave these emotions hidden, they become a hindrance to the moving of erotic energy, and end up suppressing our passion for each other. Paying attention to each other and really listening to each other’s concerns is essential. Learning how to “make love grow” becomes especially imperative if you did not see good models for this process while growing up.

Making Love Tantrically

Over time, most of us fall into a sex routine that becomes boring and depleting instead of nurturing, and does not deserve the name of love making. Making love tantrically allows you to achieve high pleasure for the body, and great satisfaction for your emotions and spirit. It is deeply nourishing and bonding and always new, because it is taking place in each moment, as you respond to each other with honesty and support.

Making love this way becomes a priority in a relationship. Great lovemaking restores and/or adds harmony, peace and joy to everyone else you interact with too.

It is worth the time and the investment you make in learning how to achieve this hot and relaxing Tantric space, a door through which you can enter into a new, higher, more expanded you on your way to Enlightenment.

How To Make Love Making a Real Love Making Experience With Touch

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People have forgotten the simplest lovemaking ‘technique’ of all: the incredible power of human touch. Even when the opportunity arises in lovemaking sessions for us to give and receive the pleasure of the caress, we tend to get caught up in the drive to ejaculatory orgasms.

Making Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience

Admittedly, ejaculatory orgasms produce intense pleasure, but without the slow build up of conscious touch, it is more like a sneeze in the groin, just a release of tension, than a deeply satisfying experience that “makes love grow” (love making).

Unfortunately for many people, sex encounters become more mutual masturbation than real love building experiences.

Tantra invites us to take time to thoroughly touch each other to increase arousal across the entire body. Our skin is our biggest organ and needs caring love and attention. But the Tantric touch, the conscious touch, goes deeper than the skin.

Using Conscious Touch

“Conscious touch” means that you are not thinking of something else. Your attention is fully on your lover, how they breathe and how they take in your touch. Your conscious touch stirs up energy, opening up both the heart and the flow of sexual energy in the form of weak electronic waves that continue to build up until they become larger waves that encompass the entire body.

Sometimes we touch how we want to be touched instead of tuning in to see how our lover likes it. If you notice your lover caught up in their own thoughts, notice how you are touching them. Ask if they would like a softer or stronger, slower or faster touch. This will get their attention back, and you will get a chance to give them the touch they desire.

Touch is both sensuous and healing. The most obvious emissaries of love are our arms, and the focal points from which love flows are the palms. When we touch our loved ones, we help them heal from any pain or disappointment they experience during the day, and they feel that life is worth living just to be touched by you.

Connecting Your Intention With Your Breath

When you connect your intention to your breath, you will feel their muscles sucking in that attention, all the way down to the bones. Yes, bones need love and attention, too, and your intention connected with your breath is powerful enough to penetrate deeply.

Tantric people know that touching a lover does not have to end in ejaculation. Some women cringe when their men start touching them because they know it will end up in intercourse and they might not be in the mood.

I invite men to set up a “just touching time” with your beloved. Then, even when she gets excited you keep your agreement of “just touching” during that time. Doing this often, you build up trust in your word, and she will be touched with joy anytime you do so.

And I promise you that both of you will have an incredibly great time touching and making love.  

To learn more about Carla Tara, visit www.1Tantra.com.