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How You Can Turn Hesitation and Fear Into Positive Dating Experiences

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You are sitting next to the phone, staring a small scrap of paper in your hand.  There is the name of the beautiful woman you met last night and scrawled just below it are ten digits, her phone number.

You’re sweating.  Your throat is tightening.  Your heart beats faster and faster.  You pick up the phone and begin dialing.  This is it.  It’s make or break time.

You finger grazes over the last number on the dial pad and suddenly, in a fit of nervousness, you hang up.  A wave of guilt rushes through your head.  You begin to rationalize your cowardice.

"Tomorrow…yea, I’ll wait to call tomorrow.  She’s probably busy and it’s too soon to call anyways," you say to yourself.

Ten days later…

You are walking out the door and happen to glance at a small scrap of paper sitting on the top of your burrow.  It’s sitting there collecting dust.

"I should have called her sooner," you think, "She probably won’t even remember who I am.  Well, it’s too late now."

You let out a heavy sigh, pick up the scrap of paper and toss it in the trash can.

Procrastinating in your dating life?

Has this situation ever happened to you?  Have you ever been in a moment where you procrastinated in your dating life?  Have you ever lost the person of your dreams because you were too nervous to make a move?  Unfortunately, this hesitation is all too common, particularly for those of us that are still new to the dating scene.

Despite what Hollywood has taught us, there is never going to be that perfect magical moment.  You will never have that special love scene, where you swoop into each others arms and ride off into the sunset.  Life isn’t like that and you shouldn’t wait for it.

Less than perfect dating experiences

The truth is that your dating experiences will be less than perfect.  It’ll be scary.  It’ll be clumsy.  And it’ll be awkward.  That’s the way it is and you can’t think that you can avoid these things.  Better yet, you should learn to embrace them.  Rather than running away, work with what you have in the moment.

So how do you avoid the hesitation and take matters into your own hands?  Easy. You just keep pushing through the fear barrier and use whatever is at your disposal.

If all you have is a squeaky voice and a stomach full of butterflies, then go with it.  Even if it means failure.  Because if you don’t at least try, you’ll never know what would’ve happened.

You are not James Bond, with all kinds of fancy gadgets and perfect timing at your disposal.  No, you are MacGyver.  All you have is this little crappy Swiss Army knife and a roll of Duct tape.  The clock is ticking and you either use the materials you have with you or you fail.  That’s just the way it is, accept it and live it.

"Hi, this is MacGyver. We all know how these things work, so when you hear the beep, go for it." – MacGyver’s answering machine  

To learn more about Matt Savage, visit www.TheModernSavage.com.

The Attraction of Confidence – Why Women Are Attracted To Confident Men

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You’re standing in a bar. Across from you is a beautiful woman.

You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over.  She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next.  Now she is standing in front of you.  Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, “Uhhhh Hi.”  She says “hi” back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking.  How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away.  You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected.  You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you.  The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman?  It could have been any number of things.  Was it your breath? Your insecure body language?  Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face?  The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away.  This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not.  There have been volumes written about the science of attraction.  Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction.  However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

You can have any number of physical flaws but if there is one thing you must have, it is confidence.  People call it by different names but it all stems from the same meaning.  For example, pick up artists call it “inner game”.  Self help guru’s call it the “Law of Attraction.” Athletes call it “the zone.”  It’s all the same; to truly believe in yourself and your abilities.

If you ask any woman what she looks for in a man, you’ll almost always get “confidence” as one of the answers.  It’s something that we all know  yet few of us utilize.  Why can’t everyone simply be confident and attract the person of their dreams?  Because confidence isn’t something you get over night.  It’s something that needs to be built over time.

How do I achieve confidence?

We generally achieve confidence in ourselves when we experience success.  You start with a small success, move on to achieving a bigger success and so on.  It’s a snowball effect.  You can’t start off by making a super giant snowball from the start because you will probably fail.  If you start with a little snowball and continue rolling it, you can turn something that was little into something big.  Little successes lead to big successes.  Each success gives you more and more confidence.

This is true in attraction.  If you’ve never approached a woman before, then you probably won’t have the confidence to take home a perfect ten the first night you go out.  You shoot for a small success first, persistently trying until you achieve it, then you move on to the next step in the process.  Start with approaching, then building rapport, then seducing.  Once you have had success with all of these, then you will have confidence, and this will cause attraction.

Persistence leads to success.  Success leads to confidence.  Confidence leads to attraction.