christproerotic

On Tiger Woods, And Adultery

By christproerotic

Let me state publically I am not a Justin Timberlake fan at all. His acting and even his stints on commercials and on Saturday Night Live I can handle, but his music and singing leaves me hallow. But in one moment I looked past my own personal dislike for the man’s abilities and saw him as a fellow human being broken before my eyes.

It happened during the Ashton Kutcher show Punk’d on MTV. The prank was to have Timberlake believe his bank assets were frozen, his money gone, and the FBI was on their way to visit him for tax evasion charges. The one person he turned to for help wasn’t Britney Spears, but his mother. He sat there shell shocked and bewildered and at that moment the joke wasn’t funny at all. I saw him on the verge of tears , as if his whole world was crumbling ; whether his own doing or not, I saw a young man who thought he had it all feel very humbled and human. Thankfully Ashton came out, set it straight, got chased by Timberlake and he was back to his old self again. At least it was all a joke.

Tiger’s Betrayal

But for Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods the last few weeks have not been good to the once unstoppable machine. My first thought of the news of Woods’ infidelity was a simple one. Finally, Tiger, the golfing machine, is human after all. And what should be a time to gloat or point is really, for me at least, a time to be saddened for him and to realize my own faults in the area. You see, I betrayed my former wife too and I’m not proud of it one bit. Some may say it’s only because you got caught that you feel sorry. I wish that were true. Unless you are a cold blooded adulterer who just doesn’t give a care for the crimes you’ve committed, there is the tinge of sorrow for the person you betrayed or the situation you find yourself in.

Diane Lane is perhaps one of the sexiest women I ever seen on the screen. But the times she was being sexy she played a woman who chose to have an affair (a nicer word for adultery). In the movies A Walk On The Moon and Unfaithful, she so aptly conveyed the look and feel of a person caught in adultery than any other actor I’ve seen before. Her look on the train ride home in Unfaithful is one of both sexual highs and the low reality of what happens to her relationship with her husband (played by Richard Gere) and her family? It showed on her face, a mixture of bliss and blunt force, not knowing what to do with her feelings, but not ready to let go of the taste of forbidden fruit. That’s the thing about adultery and why it has fascinated both media and the public for centuries.

Adultery In The Bible

One of the commands of the Ten Commandments given to Moses to share to the people has this line in it: “…you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” (Exodus 20: 17b) . And yet we do it anyway; we wonder just what it would be like to sample our neighbor’s significant other. The most famous case of adultery is with King David. Yes, THAT David! The one who took down Goliath as a young man with a stone, who went on to become king of Israel and one who has a generational line that later produced a not too shabby carpenter’s son with a flair for miracles. Even the media of the time (who ever wrote the Old Testiment story) caught the act for generations to read about.

No longer going about in battles for the people of Israel, David was relegated to spend his time in the palace while younger men devoted to him sought to fight for the king’s honor. One night he found himself on the rooftop of the palace and checked out this beautiful woman named Bathsheba. She was bathing in a pool not far from the palace. When I read the story I had to think she was probably the finest looking Jewish woman around to get David’s loins aflame like they were in the story, because he took some drastic actions to get his way. He tried to get Bathsheba to come with him through conventional ways (talking to her husband Uriah) but when that didn’t work he sent her husband to the front lines to be killed so he could have Bathsheba for himself. He thought his plan would work and no one would be the wiser.

The prophet Nathan came to be the most famous whistle blower in history when he confronted King David of his crime. As close as David and God were with each other, did David once think he was going to get away with infidelity? Sadly, he didn’t. Nathan laid out his crime and the consequences that would visit not just him but the nation of Israel and his family. Because of what David did, Israel would go through a host of bad kings who did wrong in God’s sight, leave a divided nation, and sowed the seeds for the Jewish people of that time to be taken from the land. Yet David found solace with one of the greatest apologies ever recorded in history and hope for restoration. In Psalm 51, David asked God to “wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.” (From the New American Standard version).

Coming Clean With Yourself

In my own “Scarlet Letter” moment, I had to pray that prayer a dozen times before calamity hit the fan and I was left in my own destruction. My own actions betrayed a trust, caused a broken heart, and did damage to my life and reputation. I turned to food to give me solace for the crimes I committed and it took a long time to recover from my own deeds.

I keep thinking the media and the public should be having a serious talk about adultery and why do people in the spotlight (i.e., David Letterman, LeAnn Rhimes, Gov. Mark Sanford, etc.) think they can get away with it. Then the cameras should point to the audience and ask the very question to the public. Why do we, peons of the world, think we can get away from our adultery without the need for a camera or publicity in our faces 24 hours a day? Maybe Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy magazine, had the right idea that monogamy is overrated. He does have a point; David had many wives if you read in the Old Testament and God made it clear if David was lacking in a wife he could have any that he wanted. Maybe that’s the discussion we need to have about whether the expectations of a monogamous life is a life we can realistically live a “happily ever after” or not?

What Is Lacking In Your Sex Life?

The real conversation—married or not—you should have in your bedrooms should be about your own relationship and is there anything you can do to strengthen it or make it better? Are you lacking in the sexual department? Should you think about ways to make the bedroom spicier than just reading a book or watching Letterman? Even before you decided to get married or living together unmarried the best discussion you should have is where are you and what do you desire intimately? We talk about everything else, but many a couple fail to talk about their intimate desires for fear of sounding too dirty or being rejected.

For now, there’s no stone in my hand aimed for Tiger, no “see I told you so” shouts at him, no wagging of the finger. I have no stone because I’d be one of the men who would drop his stone and walk away to leave the adulterous woman in the care of the carpenter’s son I talked about earlier. See, he came with this profound statement that whoever is without sin needs to throw the first stone. Apparently we all fail in this department and others to keep us from being head executioner.

Sin is sin. No sin is bigger or greater than another. Lying is as bad as adultery. Gluttony is as bad as adultery. These things we need to keep in mind because rain can come in our lives as easy as it does to the famous and powerful. But like anyone who has been through the storms of life, when our world is washed away and blown like the winds of a hurricane, we must find the courage to grieve for the moment, pick up the pieces, and build again.

Limited Valentine’s Budget? How To Make It Special Anyways

By christproerotic

Remember how special it was as a kid to make a handmade, crayon laden card with all the special hearts and “gushy” words on it (or at least all the words we knew at Kindergarten or First grade)?

Remember how the simple token of love given by our little hands to our mothers or fathers made more of a difference to them than all the candy Whitman’s chocolates? I’m thinking maybe we need to return to those simple gifts and ideas in these times of great financial distress.

In case you didn’t notice we are in a recession—could be in a depression– and one of the things we need to remember as we approach Valentine’s Day is the simple acronym K.I.S.S.: “Keep It Simple Stupid!”

Simple Things Mean The Most

You’d be surprised how simple things can make such lasting memories and enjoyable intimate moments together. Think of the Bailey’s from “It’s a Wonderful Life” — enjoying a simple night at the old rickety house (and their future home) when their expensive trip away to Bedford Heights went up in smoke. Memories like that will last a long, long while.

So stop looking at your wallet like it’s your enemy! Sure you don’t have cash, but you have imagination and the determination to tell the one you love how much they mean to you.

Great Ideas For Little Cash

1.The greatest perfume in the world is Pine Sol.

Guys, this is for you because you need to know what is the best perfume available for the woman you love. Pine Sol. Lysol. Clorox. Dawn. You get the idea? These are better perfumes than some woman spraying you at a department store causing you to smell like you bathed in a vat of Chanel No 5.

Before your sweetie comes home to see you, impress her with a clean kitchen; a living room fit to eat on the floor with candles and a bowl of fruit to feed her with; a bedroom with candles blazing as you have massage oils to pamper her with.

Using any of these “perfumes” will drive any woman crazy. The pine scent or lemony freshness will linger in her mind for days and weeks to come. You could make this a permanent thing if you like the results.

2.The greatest meal in the world is from your home.

Do you think you have to take your man or woman to an expensive restaurant to show how much you love them? Hogwash! If you know what your lover enjoys on their plate, then get a cook book for goodness sake.

Get the food from the grocery store to make your special dish; get some tips on line to how to put it together; make the dinner a place of wonder and excitement as they come to sample your meal. Afterwards, make them desert… for their bodies.

Get a bowl full of fruits, whipped cream, yogurt, chocolate syrup, and other sweet and sticky goodies and make the moment a reason to enjoy the night together. You’ll never look at your Banana Split the same way again once you’ve used your confections on them.

More Great Ideas….

3.Find someone to make your kids disappear.

Make the kids disappear (yes, really) from the room so you can enjoy your sweetheart naked. Phase the kids out of your mind for one night (or more) while you dream of ways to spread your lover on the table for passionate love making with no abandon.

A good sitter, a friend with kids with a free night handy to give you, or a very special event involving a “sleep over” comes in handy. Utilize your “parental card” and push those lovely kids on someone else for one—or more– night(s) so you and your spouse (or significant other) can get down to some nasty fornicating.

You remember how to do that don’t you? You just act like your parents are away from the house for a long time and you do every naughty thing you’ve been craving to do since you picked up a copy of “The Joy of Sex” from your parent’s bedroom.

4.Go to an adult boutique or bookstore together.

This may cause money or rankle your sensibilities to buy a pair of edible undies or a ball gag. You may also feel uncomfortable about entering such a place because of the stigma it entails. It doesn’t have to be.

Just browsing the store together to see what turns you or your lover on is a very liberating thing. Not only do you get a peek into the mindset of your lover, you can also take down the walls that keep you from expressing your sexual side towards each other.

Even if you break down and by a vibrator or an adult movie you get the best way of enjoying a moment like this together. Go on and take the darn thing home for a test ride!

5.Take a “walk” on the wild side.

Sometimes just spending time together is the most inexpensive, loving, and bonding thing money can’t by. If you got to get out of the house, then get out of the house. WALK. RUN. GO!

Go around the neighborhood, take a walk along the river, hold hands, kiss, neck, get close, make out, or get wild. Now, if you do get too wild make sure you a) not cause a stir with others out and about and b) you are careful where you plan to get “wild” to avoid some skin rash or a brush with nature you don’t want to encounter.

These are but a few inexpensive ways to make sure Valentine’s Day (or any romantic day) one for the ages.

Just because the boys and girls on Wall Street are cutting back and layoffs abound doesn’t mean you don’t have to scrimp on the one commodity that never runs dry: Intimacy and love.

Those things are always bullish and there is never a bearish thing about it.

How To Host A Swinging Party Without Annoying The Neighbors

By christproerotic

Tact: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.

(From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online)

My grandmother drilled the need to be tactful towards others as a child. My grandmother pointed out how adults can do things in front of other people without considering their own thresholds. I apply this lesson in my own adult life because it is easy to forget not everyone shares the same liberties as I do.

It’s a lesson Jim Trulock, Julie Norris and the city of Duncanville, Texas can learn in their battle over a tiny little swingers club called the Cherry Pit. No, it’s not an actual club in a building somewhere in the city but it is operated in the home of the couple.

The Battle Over The Swinger’s Club

Trulock and Norris opened their home to receive both friends and couples to party at their house. Not a problem with a party going on in the suburbs, but it becomes a problem when it is a weekly occurrence bringing traffic and annoyance to their neighborhood.

The weekly parties at the Cherry Pit prompted the city to do everything from visit the home with warnings to adding no parking signs near the house. When this didn’t work the city then enacted new laws prohibiting the running of a sex club out of a residential area. Citation after citation came from the city; when this happened Trulock sent his lawyers in to argue the constitutionality of the ordinances.

Once the police entered the facility to raid their “club” the battle escalated prompting court appearances, accusations, and a mention by Bill O’Reilly of Fox News.

In the year and a half of back and forth over who is right (whether the residence can be used as a private club or if zoning laws prohibited this activity in a residential area) I think the whole thing could be solved if both sides could meet each other half way instead of the legal monster it is now.

Isn’t it time for a little tact on both sides? How about a review of some swinging rules in this situation?

Swinger Lifestyle Rules

You know the basic rules in the Lifestyle:

No means no.
Treat ladies like ladies—before and after the party.
Practice safe sex

Here’s a fourth one: Never throw a swingers party in a place that either annoys the neighbors or draw attention to you from law enforcement.

Don’t Annoy The Neighbors

There are cases around the country similar to this one. Some are justified where others don’t seem to muster the fuss and attention city officials give it. Some of these cases range from couples having adult web cams in the privacy of their own home to couples who occasionally have a swing party in their homes.

I understand when you tell your neighbors you are having a few folks over for some fun and if things get loud don’t hesitate to let them know (out of courtesy). But when you hold these parties week after week with various vehicles and loud noises coming from your home Mr. Turlock and Ms. Norris shouldn’t be surprised by a visit by law enforcement. Hence the need for a tact in this situation.

On the law enforcements side it seems a bit trivial what adults do consensually with each other. No one is harmed at these parties and the way law enforcement (or the over zealous prosecutors) handle such disturbances seems to me more PR ploy than actual enforcement for a “disturbing the peace” situation.

Both sides handled this situation poorly and if nothing good comes out of this maybe it provides a warning to Lifestylers out there who want to have a good time but don’t want the hassle of law enforcement banging on the door.

If you want to throw a great sexy party do so, but be mindful of where you are at (i.e., location, location, location) and how you’d feel if such disturbances came from your fellow neighbors. Plus I know the economy is in the tank these days and we’re all trying to save and make money.

If you are trying to have a party and want to make some “bling” in the process it’s better to find a few hotel rooms or hold it at a building or residence far from the populace than to hold it in the middle of your own Cul De Sac.

If the subject is approached in a tactful way you can win your fellow lawmakers over and maybe invite some of them for some much needed relaxation. The cultural exchange could be eye opening.

For more on the case read the article from the Dallas Observer.

What do YOU think? Join the discussion on this really hot topic in the Ask Dan and Jennifer Love & Sex Forums – Dallas Observer – Swingtown Article (Duncanville Swingers Club)

Is The Marriage Brand Under Attack? Take The Poll!

By christproerotic

A recent study conducted by the Parents Television Council reveals American television depiction of marriage is getting the short end of the stick compared to sexual imagery describing the “joys” of extra-marital sex, BDSM, swinging, and the like.

Such references, according to PTC, outnumber marital sex 3:1.

So? What’s Wrong With That?

So why is a study like this rubbing me the wrong way? Because this study is nothing short of a scare tactic trying its best to get viewers ashamed of themselves from ever talking about any sexual issues couples, married or not, are talking about in the real world.

“Why do you want to go down this road? Come back to marital sex; come back to the traditional and the true.” I wish we all could but judging by the recent divorce rates, the number of struggling marriages nationwide, and the number of extra marital affairs in the news and in private the marriage brand is looking pretty worn and dusted instead of new and busted.

How Does Society Affect The Marriage Bed?

Again the age old question of does television affect society or is society affecting television comes into play. We see how today many couples and singles are talking about everything from sex toys to an occasional “booty call”. In suburbia, we see couples mowing their yard and taking their kids to soccer practices all the time.

However, these same couples are out at the strip clubs or “swapping” with their neighbors when the sun goes down. Also in suburbia, the drama of couples making up and breaking up happens much more frequently (and without a Hollywood script) than on Wisteria Drive among the ladies from Desperate Housewives.

Marriage Statistics

In putting this story together one study from 2005 (from the New York Times) finds 51% of women are living without a spouse, up from 35%. The 2005 study also found married couples becoming the minority instead of the majority.

For the PTC blaming television of the ill news about marriage is both asinine and thoughtless. Or, to put it in the popular vernacular, it’s sounds like a “you” problem not a “we” problem.

The idea of marriage not getting a fair shake on television is ludicrous! Marriage for years is portrayed as the “cure all” to all sexual issues and lustful intentions. Someone forgot to tell those proponents it shouldn’t be used as a stop gate to begin with.

To blame television as the “ill” maker of society has more to do with the lack of creativity on the part of television executives and in Hollywood (i.e.–reality television) cheapening the airwaves with fast food programming then families and couples going through the struggles and challenges of everyday life.

The Real Problem

I find fault on many levels, but I think my biggest issue lies with the PTC itself. Why on God’s green earth do we need a group like this? Here is the groups statement describing the groups purpose:

The Parents Television Council (PTC) the nation’s most influential advocacy organization protecting children against sex, violence, and profanity in entertainment with more than one million members and growing!

Protecting children against sex, violence and profanity on television?? What about taking the fight to society against violence in society and how it is glorified in movies and media. How about letting parents deal with profanity in their own way stressing to children how these words are poor choices and find better ways to express their frustration.

Instead of your group trying to find sexual issues on every channel why not talk to your neighbors about it or maybe urge Hollywood and the main stream media to stop with the drivel of reality television and actually put on shows with intelligence and depth instead of dumbing down the populace.

America Has Had Enough!

American society is fed up and tired of being force fed the joys of martial bliss; we’re tired of being told marriage is going to solve all our problems. Truth is we all have our issues regarding relationships/sexuality coming from many voices with most of it not true.

To be told marriage will magically change the way we look and feel is a bold face lie. Why don’t we level with couples, young and old, about marriage. “Look, if you are getting married hoping you do things the right way or change the way you act and behave I think you two may need to do some heavy duty counseling before taking the next step. Why not talk to each other and find out what makes each of you tick. Honest straight talk, not the B.S. you call lover’s chit chat.”

I also think groups like the PTC need to disband and find a new aim instead of trying to harp on a subject which has more to do about society in general than the screen facing families day and night. They might find we’ve been talking about sex toys, swinging, voyeurism and the like for years and it’s the critics, not television, that’s behind the times.

Take the Poll: How Would You Describe Marriage Today?

Sex Toys – Let Adults Enjoy the Right to Buy and Sell Them

By christproerotic

There are many threats facing our nation today: global warming, the economy, terrorism, health care, etc.

But none of these stack up against the greatest threat facing us today: the proliferation of sex toys. At least it was a problem in the state of Texas until a Federal Appeals court overturned a statewide ban on sex toys.

At issue, the distribution of sex toys and other adult items for couples and singles at “Tupperware” like parties. The law made it illegal based on the idea that such sales were deemed “obscene devices”. A person caught doing this could spend up to two years in jail.

Thankfully the courts saw this rule coming into conflict with the right to privacy (the 14th Amendment for you and I) and struck it down.

Thank God it got shot down because I know it would be a strange sight seeing men and women on the street corners trying to sell hummingbirds and G-spot wands to couples in need of a fix. This means the only two states left to overturn such a ruling and join the rest of the country in the 21st century are Alabama and Mississippi.

Laws like this one hurts those who are hosting and distributing marital aides and sex toys to couples and singles looking for extra fun in the bedroom. Meanwhile, there are those who feel you (a consenting adult) shouldn’t have these items for fear of perversion and abnormal behavior in the bedroom.

The truth about sex toys

Truth is sex toys only pose the simple threat of adding spice into the life a single person or a couple. Sex toys offer variety into the bedroom; God forbid if we add some flavor into the bedroom.

With growing frustration in the bedroom, couples breaking up over a lack of variety what crime is committed if couples want to make their relationship stronger?

Let’s break it down for you, sex toys or marital aides will help ensure relationships and relieve stress. Any time we can relieve stress in this world of ours is a very good thing. Sex toys don’t diminish you as a person or single you out as inferior in the bedroom.

Benefits for men and for women

Men sometimes feel having one (or using one) threaten ones manhood. But it takes a real man to admit he alone may not be the only thing to bring your partner their pleasure. Using a sex toy heightens the experience and can bring pleasure and enjoyment in the long run (not to mention rest from the wear and tear of your member).

For women, it is a chance to get in touch with your body. It is sad there are women out there who never had an orgasm until late in life. These tools are good aides to help women find the right points and areas to achieve orgasm.

Why there is an issue with sex toys

Single people are stigmatized (especially women) for buying such items because to some it signals you don’t need a man (or women), you’re inferior in the bedroom, or you have “issues” you don’t want your mother to know about.

Enough with the myths, fact is there is no shame for men or women to own or use a sex toy. What better safe sex you can have than with yourself; you can make your own sex play fun and pleasurable by taking these aides and have a good time. If others can’t see you’re not deviant in doing so then get them a vibrator too. Sounds like they could use one badly.

Alternatives to sex toy parties

Those who are in the Christian community who feel uncomfortable coming to a pleasure party or an adult bookstore/gift shop there is Book22.com. It is a great site geared for Christians couples (if you’re wondering about the name of the site look up Song of Solomon—22nd book in the Bible). It is a safe place to explore options to bring enjoyment in the most sanctified bedroom.

Its still early to find out if the Texas Attorney General’s office will have the case tried again, but I hope the good people of the Lone Star state leave it rest. Sex toys are both a pleasure and purposeful items, which can benefit all in the pursuit of a better bedroom.

Lead the way Texas and maybe in a few years Alabama and Mississippi join you to once and for all put these arcane laws to rest and really give the power to the people (with a few extra batteries to boot).