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From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex

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Well, it didn’t last. You may have found love and lost it. Or maybe you just couldn’t find any love between you and your boyfriend to begin with and now feel you are better off keeping it platonic. This always seems to be the next logical step after a breakup: Let’s stay friends.

But why do you want to stay friends? If it because you have common interests and get along like the best of friends, great! However, if it is just because the thought of him not being in your life makes your heart ache, this is the wrong reason. Think about how much worse your heart will feel when he finds someone new and expects you to like her.

In fact, if you want a list of reasons why you should not stay friends with an ex, here you go: you want to stay in his life, you want to keep tabs on him, you want to see who he is dating, you want to keep him wrapped around your finger, you want to make him jealous of your new boyfriend, you want to keep him around for the future  just in case and the absolutely worst reason? Because you still love him.

Why Being Friends Might Not Work

Just let it go. You are not friends.  You are a tie which is waiting to be cut.

The key to making a friendship work just like a relationship is communication. You must talk about your feelings for one another and where you stand in each others’ lives. A piece of misguided advice you may hear a lot is to not discuss new relationships with one another. However, this begs the question, why not? If you are not able to talk about your new boyfriend or to hear the details of his new girlfriend, why is it? My guess is you’re not quite over him (or vice versa). And if you are not over him, you cannot truly be friends with him yet.

Together, you should discuss what went wrong with your own relationship and why you are better suited as friends. Only after you have come to terms with these facts can you move on and allow each other to be happy with someone else.

When He Meets Someone Else

Which brings me to my final point: you must be friendly with his new girlfriend. Once she hears of your past fling, she is bound to feel awkward, jealous, or even angry with you for sticking around. Ease her worries and reassure her that you have no intentions of stealing him away. In turn, when you have a new boyfriend, he may also feel uncomfortable with your continuing friendship. Your ex should put forth effort to befriend him. Nevertheless, if after all this, your new boyfriend is still bothered by the situation, you should ask yourself: is a friendship with my ex worth a possible breakup?

Q&A: Sexual Virgin – I’m Not Sure I’m Ready

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Losing your virginity is a big step, and it’s one that you have to be emotionally and physically ready for. If you’re being pressured to have sex with someone and you’re a virgin, you may be tempted to lose your virginity just to get it “over with.” Fortunately, you don’t have to take that approach to losing your virginity. If you’re not ready, here’s how to be true to yourself and let your partner know what you’re comfortable with – and what you’re not comfortable with.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn,I am 14 years old and I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Recently he said he wanted to have sex and I am not sure if I do, but I am worried if I tell him that I don’t want to lose my virginity to him, he will think I am not into him anymore. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qcsDyZS9Zo[/youtube]

Staying True To Yourself

Being honest with yourself and staying true to yourself is the most important thing in this type of situation. If you’re not emotionally ready or physically ready for sex, there is absolutely no reason you should have to do it. Don’t try to convince yourself that having sex with your partner will make your relationship better or that your partner won’t think you like them if you don’t have sex with them. The only thing that matters here is what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with having sex, don’t do it! There are no external factors here. It’s only about you and what you do or don’t want to do. If your partner pressures you to have sex when you’re not ready, or doesn’t respect your decision to wait, it’s definitely time to move on so you can be with someone who really loves you and respects your decisions.

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex – And The Consequences

Sex can bring great pleasure, but if you’re not emotionally ready for sex, it can bring a lot of trouble too. If you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend after losing your virginity to them (especially when you’re very young), it will most likely be more painful for you than if the breakup happened without you and your partner having had sex. You never forget your first time, so before you lose your virginity, make sure you’re having sex for the first time with the person you really want your first time to be with. Sex can also bring other consequences that make the situation more complicated, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Take some time to think it through and consider all the possible outcomes of having sex before you actually do it. You can’t go back after you’ve done it and do it differently or take more time. Once you do it, it can’t be undone, so really think it through first.

Educate Yourself About Sex

You may think you know what you need to know about sex, but you’d really be surprised at what you haven’t learned yet. Take some time to educate yourself about safe sex, condoms, the morning after pill, pregnancy and various types of sexually transmitted diseases and the different ways you can get them or pass them on. Don’t rely on someone else to tell yo what’s up when it comes to sex, and don’t wait until after you’ve had sex for the first time to find these things out. If you do decide to have sex with your partner and have decided you’re emotionally ready for it, make sure you know how to keep yourself safe too.

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Make Her Like Me Even Though I’m White

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You like someone, but they don’t like you for some silly, superficial reason. What do you do? Should you try your best to get them to see past whatever it is that makes them not want to date you (because it is silly, after all) or do you simply let go and accept yourself for who you are? Here’s what to do when someone doesn’t want to date you because of something on the outside and won’t take time to get to know you on the inside.

Question: A girl says she only likes men who aren’t white. Is there a way to get her to like me even though I’m white?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVdugM0KWP4[/youtube]

Everyone Has Their Own Preferences

You’ve heard the saying, “to each their own.” This applies perfectly to this situation, because the truth of the matter is, everyone likes what they like. They also don’t like what they don’t like, and very rarely does that ever change. If it does, it is usually not because someone tried to “get” them to change their minds, but because the person themselves decided to try something new. If someone you like doesn’t like white people, or blondes or people that are too fat or too thin or even nerds or jocks for that matter, it may be superficial but you have to realize it’s what they like and that’s just the way it is. You like what you like (and don’t like what you don’t like) and while you may be more open minded than other people about who you want to date, you still have your preferences. Other people have theirs too, whether it seems silly to you or not and there’s just not much you can do about it.

Why “Getting” Someone To Like You Can Backfire

Trying to get someone to like you if they don’t can really end up blowing up in your face if you aren’t careful. Often, people who are trying to  make someone like them end up trying too hard and end up losing themselves in the process. If someone you like doesn’t like certain things about you such as your hair or your body build, you may feel compelled to get a hair cut or color and sign up for an expensive gym membership, spending the majority of your time working out. In essence, people end up changing themselves so much in the process of trying to make someone like them that they can’t stay in touch with their true selves. And in the end, it usually doesn’t work anyway and they still don’t like you. At the end of the day, you’re disappointed with a version of yourself that you’re not familiar with. Many people in this situation have pushed away friends and family during this time as well. Of course, this is worst case scenario. Regardless of what happens, however, trying to “make” someone like you very rarely works out to that person’s advantage.

Being Confident In Who You Are

Take a break from dating and figure out who you are, what you like and what you don’t like. Figure out things you’re willing to sacrifice in a relationship and what you’re not. Learn to be confident in yourself and love yourself for who you are, just the way you are. When you start dating again, date people who are interested in the real you and will accept you as you are. There are plenty of those people out there!

Q&A: Kissing Tips

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Kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do with someone and sometimes it can be even more titillating and amazing than sex! Kissing doesn’t always come naturally though, and you definitely don’t want to be a bad kisser. Here’s how you can learn to be a great kisser, no matter who you’re kissing or how good or bad you are at it to begin with!

Question: Do you have any good kissing tips?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLZmyKwnhkA[/youtube]

Relax And Start Slow

There’s no need to rush into kissing! Kissing is sensual and passionate, so it’s important to relax and let yourself be in the moment. If you’re too tense and nervous, you’re not going to be kissing very well and your partner will definitely notice your stiffness. Take a few minutes to breathe before you begin kissing and allow yourself to become loose and relaxed. Start slow, and work your way up to more heavy “making out.” You can, of course, continue kissing slow if you want! That’s one of the best things about kissing – it can be whatever you want it to be, whether you want to make out passionately with your partner or kiss them in a slow, delicious, sensual way.

It’s Not A Means To An End

Many couples who have already had sex treat kissing like it is a means to an end and that kissing is simply a short prelude to the actual act of intercourse. These couples need to start treating kissing like couples who haven’t had sex do, and kiss or make out with each other just for the sake of kissing or making out! For most couples that have not yet had sex don’t have anywhere to “go” at the end of the kiss, so they make the kiss last as long as possible! To become a great kisser, don’t think of kissing as first base and your goal as home base. Instead, treat kissing like it’s the only place you have to be or want to go. Let the kissing overcome you and don’t be worried about what is going to happen next.

Practice Good Oral Hygiene

Many great kissers become bad kissers not because of their technique, but simply because of their poor oral hygiene. Practice great hygiene and your partner may not notice your actual kissing ability. Instead, they’ll be thinking about how great your mouth tastes and smells! Instead of just chewing gum and using breathmints, which only serve to cover up unsavory smells and tastes, actually get your mouth clean. Visit your dentist regularly for cleanings and have any infections or cavities treated and taken care of. Brush your teeth daily or twice a day, and floss daily as well. Common dental problems like cavities, plaque and gum disease can make your breath smell and taste bad, making your partner not want to kiss you no matter how good you are. If you put your oral hygiene first, you’ll become a great kisser by proxy and then you can spend time working on your actual techniques to take being a good kisser to the next level and become a great kisser!

Long Distance Relationships: Should You Consider Getting An Online College Degree?

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One of the biggest reasons couples have long distance relationships is because one or both partners are going to college away from each other. Whether you’re choosing a college far away from your partner because they offer the best program for your major or your partner is getting more financial aid at another college, it’s easy for two people to become separated by long distances when they’re getting their degrees. Online colleges, however, are a great way to get your degree – whether it be a certificate program, an associate degree, a bachelor degree or even a masters degree – without being away from your significant other. Here’s how to find the best online colleges, so you don’t have to move away from your partner and go through the hardship of a long distance relationship for school.

Why Online Colleges Are Great For Relationships

Online colleges offer the convenience of taking your classes at home, and are easy to schedule around your life. You can choose when to do the work, so if you have a date with your partner or just want to spend time with them watching a movie or hanging out, you can complete your schoool work at a later time without consequence. You will, of course, have certain deadlines and times that things are due, but for the most part, online colleges offer the most flexible degree programs available today. Choosing to get your degree online is also a great option if you’re working or have a child with your significant other. Many people today, whether they’re in relationships or not, have responsibilities outside of school that they either can’t or don’t want to give up. You can also travel while you’re going to school online, so you can even go with your partner if they have to travel to go to a traditional college. Or, both you and your partner can go to school online! Either way, getting your degree online is a great way to prevent having to have a long distance relationship with someone you love.

Top Online Colleges

Since there are thousands of online degree programs and colleges available for you to choose from, sorting through the top online colleges to find the best one for you can be nothing short of intimidating. There are, however, many resources that can help you find the best online college based on how much you want to pay and what degree you’re seeking. Make sure whatever resource you’re using to find the top online colleges doesn’t promote one college or another – instead, look for resources that offer unbiased information on a variety of online colleges or resources that connect you directly with the colleges’ websites.

How To Choose The Best Online Colleges For You

The first thing to consider when choosing the best online colleges for you is which colleges offer the degree program you’re looking for. That will narrow down your search quite a bit! Next of course, is cost. While many online colleges cost a lot less than traditional colleges, money is still an issue. Think about what you and your partner can really afford, and if you’ll have to work to pay for school or if you and your partner can get grants, scholarships or financial aid. That will narrow down your list of the best online colleges even further, and all you have to do now is apply! Once accepted to the online degree program of your choice, you can go to school and focus on your relationship without having to months or even years away from your partner.