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Q&A: Safe Sex – Using The Withdrawal Method

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There are a number of different birth control methods that work well to drastically reduce the risk of pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted diseases, but many guys insist on trying birth control methods that don’t really work at all! A lot of guys want to pull out, simply because it feels better than wearing a condom. Here’s why you shouldn’t pull out and how you can have safe sex that still feels great.

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 23. He wants to use the withdrawal method, but it’s not always effective! How do I tell him?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X9_aAjAZZM[/youtube]

Why Pulling Out Doesn’t Work

Simply put, if a penis touches a vagina without protection, there is a risk of pregnancy involved. Even if there is no penetration, if there is genital to genital touching, the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant goes up. This risk, of course, goes up the more contact there is. Consider the penis a loaded gun. There are most likely sperm present before ejaculation, whether it is because ejaculation took place not long before, or because pre-semen or pre-ejaculate can contain sperm as well. It takes only one sperm to get a woman pregnant, although millions are present in very small amounts of semen. Not only are you taking a risk of becoming pregnant or getting an STD simply by allowing a penis to touch your vagina without some sort of protection, you are also taking a greater risk by trusting your partner to pull out at just the right time when he’s on the brink of orgasm. This usually ends in disaster! Statistically speaking, the withdrawal method has a pregnancy rate similar to having completely unprotected sex.

Other Methods Of Birth Control

Condoms, of course, are the number one form of birth control. They are easy to purchase, easy to use and protect against both pregnancy and STD’s. No other form of birth control does all those things. However, if you’d like to forgo using condoms, there are many different kinds of birth control you can use so you can still have great sex safely. First, you and your partner need to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Make a committment to each other that you will be monogamous, so once you and your partner are given the green light, you can continue to stay disease free without a condom. Do not have sex without a condom until both of your test results come back! To protect against pregnancy, talk to your doctor about different forms of birth control. Hormonal birth control, such as the pill, the patch or the shot are popular, while barrier methods such as spermicide and diaphragms are also still being used. You can also consider doubling up with a hormonal and barrier birth control method. Talk to your doctor and talk to your partner about which options are right for you.

No Glove, No Love

If you want your partner to wear a condom, he needs to wear a condom. If he doesn’t, simply put your foot down and state that there isn’t going to be any sex without a condom. If you’re not comfortable with the withdrawal method or other forms of birth control, your partner needs to respect that. There are tons of great condom styles out there, including large and small condoms, non-latex condoms for men who are allergic to latex, flavored and scented condoms, colored condoms, glow in the dark condoms and much, much more! There’s no reason that using a condom during sex can’t make it safe and fun!

Q&A: Flirting Tips – How To Deal With That Awkward Silence

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It happens to everyone – you know, that awkward silence  or conversation dead zone during a date where neither you nor your partner are sure what to say next. Are silences always uncomfortable, or can it be a good thing sometimes? Here’s how to enjoy the silence from time to time, but also how to plan things to ask so you and your partner can have great conversations and really get to know each other!

Question: I want to know what to say when it gets all silent when you’re talking to girl, because I really don’t know what to say next! I feel like I’ve already talked about everything. Please help, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1oKxT047fY[/youtube]

Silence Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Having a few quiet moments during a date isn’t so bad, especially if you’re having a meal together. You and your partner need time to actually eat! Society conditions us to be around noise all the time, through television, radio and the Internet. Most people’s homes nowadays aren’t quiet at all – there’s always some kind of noise or talking going on in the background. So naturally, people begin to feel comfortable around constant noise and are actually made uncomfortable by being in silence. Sometimes silence is good. However, there is a big difference between that good old fashioned “comfortable silence” and the awkward kind that can go on a bit too long. Here’s how to combat the latter.

Learn More About Her

While you may be tempted to talk on and on about yourself because you’re A) not really sure what questions to ask her and B) you’re afraid of letting the conversation die, talking only about yourself on the first date is the quickest way to throw away your chance at a second date. Take some time to plan  out some different types of questions to ask your date so you can get to learn more about her. Ask her questions about her day, where she works, what she likes and what her favorite things are. Ask her what she might do in different hypothetical situations. Believe it or not, these types of questions can help you learn a lot about a person! Be prepared to answer the same questions yourself. You may find that a lot of questions open up new conversations!

Use A Cheat Sheet

 If you’re talking to your partner on the phone, having a cheat sheet full of questions you want to ask is a great way to keep the conversation going. While some dead time is almost always acceptable during a face to face date, dead time on the phone usually isn’t. Need some help thinking of questions to ask your date to keep the conversation going? Use Michael Webb’s 1000 Questions For Couples. It’s a comprehensive guide absolutely chock full of tons of questions that you can ask your partner – and not just the usual ones that you hear all the time. These questions will really get the ball rolling on a date. They’re also great questions to ask even if you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone, because many of these questions you probably won’t know the answer to even if you’ve been with your partner for years!

Q&A: Female Orgasm – I Could Never Make My Ex Climax

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If there’s a girl you aren’t able to give an orgasm to, you’re not alone. Unfortuately, being in the same boat with tons of other guys doesn’t exactly make being unable to pleasure a certain girl any less frustrating. So what gives? Is there really something wrong with you, or is it time to accept what happened and move on? Could she have even contributed to the problem?

Question: I recently went through a fairly rough break-up but often find myself thinking about my ex. We were together for almost two years and in this time I could never make her orgasm (a first for me). I am quite well endowed and very fit and have never had trouble making others girls climax, but my inadequacies with her have really effected my confidence. What can I do to get over my insecurities and be comfortable with my inability to pleasure her?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxlzeeSllxs[/youtube]

Moving On

If there’s a certain girl you can’t give an orgasm to – but have no problems with any other girls – there’s not much you can do about it. Sometimes it hit or miss, and if you’ve been lucky so far, you’ve simply come upon your dues. It’s time to move on, especially if you and this particular girl aren’t together any more and have broken up. You may want to brood over what happened and try to figure out why you weren’t able to give her an orgasm, but it’s really not going to do you much good. Many times, there is no why and things like that just happen. Sometimes two people are sexually incompatible, no matter how many other girls you were sexually compatible with. Realize that it’s time to move on and get back in the game.

Brushing Up On Your Orgasm Skills

That said, it never hurts to brush up on your orgasm skills. You may think you know all there is to know about female orgasms, but you’d be surprised at how much you probably don’t know about giving a woman a climax. Take the Orgasm Quiz and assess your orgasm skills. You’ll get the Top 25 Female Orgasm Tips after you take the quiz, which are free and include twenty five great tips on how to please a woman. Learning new tricks and techniques to use in the bedroom is a great way to make sure you know what you’re doing and can try to give every girl you’re with a mind blowing orgasm.

Was It Her?

While you may be content to blame yourself and commit yourself to learning every female orgasm secret known to man, you need to realize that part of the reason you were unable to give your partner an orgasm could be because of her hang ups, not yours. Don’t be so fast to completely blame her, but realize that it takes a lot on the woman’s part to have an orgasm. She must be relaxed, stress free and open to having an orgasm. If she was stressing about a test or work the next day, or going through some particularly stressful situations, she may have been unable to reach climax regardless of how great your bedroom skills were.

Q&A: Dating A Younger Woman Or Man

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Age differences between a two people who are dating are becoming more and more common. As Internet dating becomes more popoular and as people become more openminded in an evolving society, age doesn’t necessarily mean a whole lot these days. However, when does age matter when dating a younger woman or a younger man? Are there ways to keep dating outside of your “age range” safe for both you and your partner?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, this girl and I have been talking and she and I both really like each other, but our age difference is substantial, however, I don’t see a problem with it. She still likes me but she is nervous to be with me. What is your advice on my situation?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBB7hmeuYjU[/youtube]

The Older You Get, The Less It Matters

When you get older, an age difference between you and your partner matters less and less. For example, if you’re 75 and your partner is just 60, it’s less of an issue than if you’re 32 and your partner is 17. If you or your partner are currently middle age, then there is even less to worry about. If you are 40 and your partner is 55, you’ll find that people are actually surprised that you’re fifteen years apart! If you’re young, however, the age difference can easily become a big deal. Even just a few years in this case can be a problem. If you’re 16 and your partner is 18 or even 19, you’ll notice that a lot of people have something to say about dating a younger woman or man.

Take It Slow

When you’re young, don’t be afraid to take it slow if you and your partner are a few or several years apart. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and it can pose less of an issue if you and your partner are dating without being sexually active, depending on your age. This comes into play more often if one partner is under the age of eighteen and one partner is over the age of eighteen. The younger man or woman may want to wait until they turn eighteen before the couple takes the relationship to the next level. Regardless of the age difference, however, make sure you and your partner are both ready to take that step if the time comes. If you aren’t, there’s no reason to rush it!

When It Becomes A Legal Problem

Legally, eighteen is the age in which people can give consent to have sex. If you or your partner are under the age of eighteen and one of you is over, it can become a legal issue when sex becomes involved. A vindictive parent may decide they want to press charges for “statutory rape” or “corruption of a minor” even if the “victim” is just a few weeks or even days shy of being eighteen. Parents can press charges even if the “victim” was fully consenting of the sexual act. The statute of limitations on this kind of charge is long enough that you could be in trouble well after your partner turns eighteen. If both partners are under the age of eighteen, the issue becomes less of a problem as both parties involved are considered minors. However, once one partner turns eighteen, legally you and your partner can get in more trouble than it was worth. The best thing to do in a situation like this is play it safe and wait!

Q&A: Bad Breath – How To Prevent And Treat It

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A huge turn off for a lot of people is bad breath. There’s nothing that will kill a sexy mood like getting a whiff of your partner’s bad breath when you’re leaning in for a kiss or getting hot and heavy on your way to the bedroom. So how do you tell your partner they have bad breath without offending them, and how can you treat it so it doesn’t happen again?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, sometimes when I am with my boyfriend, he has bad breath. I find it a real turn OFF. How can I tell him without hurting his feelings? His oral hygiene is really good, just sometimes he has bad breath … any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zBO45FLUMk[/youtube]

Be Honest

It’s important to be honest with your partner about their bad breath. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you if you had bad breath? Of course! Give your guy a heads up about what is going on in a kind and non-critical way. Don’t act like your breath doesn’t ever stink, either because it most certainly does! Everyone has bad breath problems from time to time, whether it’s a medical condition or simply because of something they ate. Have a laugh about it! Your guy isn’t going to get his feelings hurt unless you’re mean about the issue or unless he’s really, really super sensitive. Let him know that it’s not really that big a deal – just that you two need to fix it so you can kiss, make out and have sex whenever without having to worry about bad breath.

What Causes Bad Breath?

There are a lot of contributors to bad breath, and not all of them are just foods. Medical issues that can cause bad breath are cavities, infections in the teeth or gums and gum disease. Often, bad breath caused by these conditions is some of the worse bad breath that is out there! Vitamins, supplements and certain medications can also cause bad breath, as well as doing illegal drugs and smoking. Diseases such as diabetes can also contribute to or cause bad breath. If your partner suspects that his bad breath is a medical problem, have him speak to his doctor about things that can be contributing to his bad breath, such as medications or diseases. Your partner’s doctor can rule out any serious causes for his bad breath and even give him a few pointers on how best to handle it.

How To Handle It

Encourage your partner to have regular cleanings and to have cavities filled if they’re needed. Make sure your partner brushes at least twice daily and flosses once a day. You’ll be surprised at how big a difference these little things can make! Even skipping a six month cleaning with the dentist can contribute greatly to bad breath that can’t be fixed with gum or mouthwash. For things that can be fixed with gum and mouthwash, make sure you stock up on plenty of it! Keep it at home, in the car and in your purse so you always have it around. Lead by example and let your partner see how great your kisses can smell and taste! He’ll want to follow in your footsteps and get a minty fresh mouth of his own.