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Q&A: Online Dating – Can You Fall In Love Without Meeting?

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There are a lot of questions when it comes to online dating, but very few answers as online dating is still new, uncharted territory for many people. Can you fall in love online, or do you need to meet them first? How can you stay safe if you do end up meeting them in person? Here’s what you need to know about love and online dating.

Question: Hi Dan & Jenn, I have an online dating question. I signed up for a dating website last week and a man, two years older than me from California e-mailed me a day later. We’ve been e-mailing each other constantly and texting/talking ever since, and he’s just told me that he wishes to be with me until he grows old- he even mentioned flying me to California whenever I wish to visit. The problem is, is it possible for a man who’s never officially met me to develop such strong feelings for me so quickly? I’m honestly really baffled by this.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU1_gfYF8Lo[/youtube]

Possible But Not Probable

While theoretically it is possible to fall in love online without having met them first, but it’s definitely not probable. There are too many unknowns when it comes to a relationship with someone online to really say for sure if you love them or if they love you. You may really like them and even have strong feelings for them (or vice versa) but is it really love? If someone tells you they love you before you even meet them, take it with a grain of salt. Often, people are unable to accurately express strong feelings for someone and may just be using the word “love” because they don’t have any other way of explaining how they feel.

In Love With The Idea Of You

When using online dating sites, there are lots of things you and your partner don’t know about each other and it’s difficult to say you love someone without knowing these things. For example, your partner may know what your favorite color is and what you like to eat for dinner, but he doesn’t know how you smell or how your hand fits in his. He’s unaware of your mannerisms, how you move and how a hug or kiss from you feels. These are all essential components of a relationship that can’t be obtained over the Internet. Generally, when someone says they love you when they haven’t met you in person it means that they are in love with the “idea” of you. Their imagination has filled in all the blank spots, and naturally they are in love with that person. But that’s not the real you! The way you kiss or hold his hand may be completely different than the way he’s imagined it.

What To Do If You Do Meet

If you do decide to meet in person, it’s important to consider online dating safety first until you’ve met a few times and have gotten to know each other. Meet him in a public place during the day for a short amount of time. A half hour coffee is probably enough to get your feet wet and allow both of you to decide if you want to meet again. At first, pay your own way so you aren’t indebted to him in any way, and make sure a trusted friend knows where you are and when you plan to be back. Take it slow and get to know them before being alone with them.

Q&A: I Love Being On Top But He Loses His Erection!

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Erectile problems come in lots of different forms. Some men have erectile issues all the time, while others only have erectile issues with condoms, in certain positions, or if they’re not in control of the sexual situation. Here’s what you can do if your man has erectile difficulty in a position that you absolutely love.

Question: Dear Dan and Jen – When me and my boyfriend have sex, I just LOVE going on top. The problem is, his penis softens the minute I’m on top of him, just in a split second.When I asked about it, he said it’s because of the condom, but this doesn’t seem to be a problem in any other position. WHY is this? Aren’t men supposed to love it when the girl is on top? I’m confused – please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSXDw4qG814[/youtube]

Everyone Likes Different Positions

If you find that your partner loses his erection in a certain position, he may just not like that position. It may be uncomfortable for him, or he may find it more difficult to be aroused. Some men really enjoy the feeling of being in control that man-on-top positions offer, and he might not be able to maintain his erection in situations where he feels like the woman is in control, such as in woman-on-top positions. Everyone likes different positions, and everyone has a favorite and if your partner doesn’t have any erectile issues with other positions, it’s likely just a preference issue.

Try Different Condoms

Believe it or not, a lot of men have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, or having an orgasm with a condom. He should still use one, but there are lots of different styles of condoms available that might help your partner keep his erection during sex and different sex positions. Try a thinner condom to allow your partner to experience more sensations, or try a ribbed or textured condom. Some condoms with lubricants can be irritating for both men and women, especially if the condom has spermicide on it. Try a variety of condoms until you and your partner find the one you like best.

Try Different Positions And Motions

If your partner loses his erection consistently in any one sex position, try varying your movements in that particular position. Try going fast or slow, harder or softer, or move from side to side instead of up and down. Communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, so you know the next moves to make. If your partner isn’t being honest with you about why something doesn’t feel good, that doesn’t give you any information about how you can please him. If all else fails, don’t give up on sex completely just because your partner doesn’t like your favorite position. There are hundreds of different positions out there and they’re only limited by your creativity. Try different positions such as spooning or sitting up face to face. You may find that there are other positions that you like even better than woman on top, and they might work better for your partner too! You’ll never know unless you try!

Q&A: Blind Date Tips

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Blind dates can be nerve wracking from the get go. You know your blind date will be scrutinizing everything about you from what you’re wearing to what you look like. Beauty, of course, is only skin deep. How can you get your partner to open up and get to know you instead of just paying attention to what is on the outside?

Question: I am going on a blind date and from what I know she is incredibly beautiful. I am not the best looking guy around, but I know she is almost a perfect match for me interest wise. But girls are shallow now-a-days and never look past the skin. I think if all goes right, it could be great. What do I do to get her to want to get to know me?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlG8O0NqeFg[/youtube]

Not All People Are Shallow

While a lot of people may appear shallow at first glance, or even may seem shallow when you first start getting to know them, they might not be shallow at all. Not everyone is shallow and while feeling attracted to someone is important on a first date, many people do look past the surface and try to get to know someone for who they are on the inside. Some people really are shallow though, and it wil be impossible to know whether your date is judging you based on what you look like or if she’s actually paying attention to you. As important as it is for two people not to judge each other on looks alone, it’s just as important not to assume your date is shallow from the get go. Give her the benefit of a doubt.

Be Yourself

The best way to show your blind date who you really are inside is to be yourself. Making a good first impression is important, but don’t do it in a way that goes against who you really are. Keep an open mind and stay relaxed, remembering to just let her get to know you without having to pretend to be someone or something you’re not. If you end up going on more than one date with this person or develop a relationship with them, eventually the truth will come out. It makes no sense to try to fake it, because when she does get to know the real you, she will be upset for you having pretended from the get go.

Don’t Force It

While you may feel like you and your date have everything in common and more and will hit it off really great, sometimes that just doesn’t happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. Just focus on having a good time and being yourself, without trying to force the date to become something. If you and your blind date don’t hit it off, don’t stress and don’t automatically attribute it to your looks. Some people click and some people don’t. There are plenty of people out there that you will click with, so it’s important to keep a good attitude about it and keep dating!

Q&A: What’s That Lump Inside My Penis?

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Many people have questions about their bodies, such as bumps on their penis, that they’re afraid to ask about or see a doctor about. It’s not uncommon to be nervous about going to a doctor for such a personal issue. But if you have something strange going on with your body and you’re not sure what it is, here’s what you need to do.

Question: I’m scared and I’m not sure what it is. I’m 18 years old and recently I have noticed on the inside of the head of my penis that there is a lump inside the head. This is completely internal. Nothing shows on the outside except for the skin around the area is turning a slight white. I’m really scared to think that it could be cancer or a tumor in my penis head? I can feel the lump in my penis and it feels like hard tissue. When I pinch it, it doesn’t hurt but over time I think its growing.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sEzXc9mXlA[/youtube]

Lots Of Possibilities

A lump on the penis could mean anything. It could be a clogged pore, a genital wart, an infection of some kind or even a benign or cancerous cyst. Strange lumps can pop up anywhere on a man or a woman, and there’s really no telling what it is at first glance. It may be getting bigger or growing, it may hurt, or it may stay small and barely noticeable. Other things can turn up on your body, and most of the time they don’t mean anything at all. Our bodies can do strange or crazy things, but it’s all part of nature. On the other hand, some things that can happen to your body aren’t to be taken lightly at all because they could be something serious. How can you tell if that strange lump or other anomaly on your body is something you should be worried about or not?

Seeing Your Doctor

Only your medical doctor can look at you and determine what is going on with you. He or she may examine you, and they may take blood or run other scans depending on what they think it is. Don’t be nervous about going to see your doctor – it’s the only way you can find out for sure what it is. Your doctor can let you know if it’s nothing to be worried about, or if it is something that needs to be treated right away. Your doctor can help you through any kind of treatment you may need, so it’s important to trust your doctor and be comfortable with them. If you don’t like your doctor or don’t feel comfortable with him or her, find someone you do trust and feel comfortable with. Don’t worry about freaking the doctors out. Doctors have seen it all and then some. Their concern isn’t how weird your ailment is – it’s whether what you have going on is dangerous or not and how to treat it and get you well.

Internet Bunk

Lots of medical forums on the Internet now consist of people with various ailments trying to diagnose and treat each other instead of visiting the doctor. This is not a substitute for sound medical advice! Medical forums are great for talking about treatments, tests and receiving general support for whatever medical condition you’re going through but you can’t get a diagnosis in a forum or a chat room. You can only get a diagnosis and treatment from your doctor.

Q&A: 5 Tips To Make Your First Threesome More Successful

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If you and your partner have decided to have your first threesome, you may be wondering on how to make it successful. You may be worried about doing something wrong, or being uncomfortable with someone and not being able to do anything about it. Here are 5 must-do tips to make your first time threesome a great one.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc2NDOwFlp8[/youtube]

Meet The Third Person

Don’t have a threesome with a stranger. Go on a date with your partner and the third person and get to know them a little bit. Go out for a pizza and beer, or a few drinks at a bar or club. Have fun with them, before there’s any pressure of sex involved. Make sure you and your partner are both comfortable with the third person before you actually get in the bedroom and do the deed. Getting to know who you’re going to have a threesome with will help ease everyone’s mind before getting it on.

Speak Up If It’s Not A Good Fit

If you’re having a threesome dilemma and aren’t totally comfortable with the person you and your partner are considering having a threesome with, speak up. It’s not fair if one person isn’t into another, whether it’s you, your partner or the third person. In a threesome, everyone has to click with one another and be into it. Stepping up and saying that you’re just not feeling this particular person isn’t as bad as it sounds. Just be polite and honest when making your feelings known.

Talk About The Rules Ahead Of Time

One of the best ways to make sure you have a swinging disaster is to avoid talking about what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with before heading to the bedroom. If there’s something that is off limits to you or your partner, let your third person know and encourage them to speak up about anything that makes them uncomfortable as well. Make sure kissing, hugging, fondling, intercourse, oral sex and anal sex are all covered before hopping in bed. The last thing you want during your first threesome is to find out you’re not comfortable with something after it happens.

Take Your Time

Your first threesome isn’t a race to the finish line. Take your time to enjoy it, and if you only end up going to second or third base in your first threesome or foursome, it doesn’t mean you weren’t successful. Feel free to go as slow as you need to. If you’re only ready to make out or do some heavy petting at first, stick to just that until you’re ready for more. Your first threesome is special, but it’s not a once in a lifetime shot. If you enjoy swinging, it’s something you can do at your own pace.

Talk About It Afterwards

Communicate with your partner – and your third person – after the threesome. Talk about what you liked and what you want to try next time, without being critical or judgemental. If it worked out, let your third person know how much fun you and your partner had. If it didn’t, make sure you thank you third person for giving it a go with you. Things get very weird between people when you don’t talk about swinging, because everyone’s thinking something different and worrying that everyone else is on a different page than them.

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