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How To Host A Swingers Party

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Many people like the thought of going to a swingers party. It’s certainly a little bit different to your average social gathering! They can be great fun and the place where many fantasies are acted out. But rather than wait around and hope you get invited to one, why not host your own? It’s not actually as difficult as you might think. Here are a few tips to help you create a memorable event.

What Kind Of Party Do You Want To Host?

Decide how many people you want to be there. Do you want it to be a large party or an intimate gathering? Do you want it to be just for couples or do you want to invite single people (men and/or women) as well? Most swingers prefer to go to parties that are mainly (if not totally) for couples and single women only. You will find a lot of single men will be interested but it does create a different atmosphere.

Decide On A Venue

Most people would think of their home, but it needn’t be the only place to host a party. If your place isn’t suitable or large enough, you could ask one of the other guests if they would be willing to host it. A hotel room is a good choice if the numbers aren’t going to be too great, but another alternative is a local swingers club. You could arrange for your group to all meet there.

Work Out The Guest List

Unless you already know a lot of swingers, by far the easiest way to find your guests is online. Set up a profile on a swingers website and list your event there. Then you can begin to contact other couples in your area who you think might be suitable.

Meet Everyone First

Insist on meeting everyone first. If your party is couples only you will be amazed how many single men will try to get an invitation by masquerading as a couple online. When they arrive at the party they will make an excuse for being alone such as “the wife is sick.” Insist you meet the couple first, or at least talk to them on the phone – both of them – to ensure they’re for real and who they say they are.

Charge An Entry Fee

A small charge, paid to you in advance, is a great way to ensure people actually show up, as well as helping towards your hosting costs. People know there is a cost involved in hosting a party so they won’t mind contributing.

Forget Party Snacks – Have Lube And Condoms Available

It is normal for the host to provide condoms and lube, although you can also ask people also to bring their own. You might want to ask people (discreetly) if they have an allergy to latex and ensure some latex-free condoms are available.

Remember To Have Fun!

Obviously this is the point of the party in the first place. However, to achieve this the most important thing to communicate to your guests is that no one is under any pressure to participate or do anything they are not totally comfortable with. Even if you have met the guests beforehand, there is no guarantee people will click in a way that makes them want to take things to a sexual level.

Hosting a swingers party does take a bit of effort and time to organize but the results can be well worth it. Even if it doesn’t turn into an all-out orgy you may still make some new friends. There are many more people wanting to attend a party than are willing to organize one so your efforts will be well appreciated.

Finding The ‘Right Couple’ To Try Swinging With

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Would you like to experiment with the swinging lifestyle? Once you have made the decision to do it, the biggest hurdle to overcome is to find another suitable couple to play with. Fortunately you can benefit from the experience of others by knowing the best way to find other people. Here are some ideas to help you.

It Doesn’t Always Happen Right Away

Firstly, be aware it can be a lengthy process. You may end up chatting with a large number of couples before you find one you really click with. This is hardly surprising; it is difficult enough to find two people who are attracted to each other, but to find four who all share some chemistry can seem nigh-on impossible.

You will meet couples who may be interested in you but who for whatever reason you don’t feel particularly attracted to. Don’t be concerned about this – it really does go with the territory.

Also, do not despair or be in a rush to start having sex once you decide you and your partner would like to be swingers. Many people decide to play with the first people who come along and find that the experience is not really very pleasurable. In fact it can be a disaster.

Don’t Be Too Picky

At the other extreme don’t be picky to the point that you never let it happen. If you spend a bit of time with a couple (say having a drink or a meal) with no pressure or expectations on either side you may feel the attraction grow. If your initial impression isn’t totally negative than allow some time to get to know them a little better.

All this said, what is the best way to meet another couple for swinging? There are in fact three ways.

People You Know

The first way is to consider people you already know. You may think your friends would not be interested in swinging, but swinging is surprisingly widespread. Do not discount your friends! Think about who you already know who you find attractive.

Invite them for dinner and drop a few subtle hints. Lead the conversation in a sexual direction and see their reaction. Of course if you get a negative reaction you know to back off as you don’t want to destroy your friendship.

Online Dating Websites

The second way and probably the most widespread is to meet couples through an online swingers website. There are a number of good ones which have large numbers of couples (and singles) who are swingers and are looking to meet other likeminded people.

You can get a very good idea about them from the information they post online, including their interests and physical characteristics. Usually they will (or should) put up some photographs so you can get a better idea of their body shape and sizes.

To do this you should also put up your own details by creating a profile. This will allow other couples to contact you if they are interested. The first step will be to have some brief message exchange to see if there is some connection.

If it all looks promising, you should meet as soon as possible. This should only be for the purposes of checking each other out. Unless you are not fussy at all you will find this an essential step as despite all the online conversation in the world you will not know if you all click until you meet each other.

A Swingers’ Party

The third way you can meet other swingers is to go to a swingers party. Getting invited to these can be quite tricky. However, swingers websites often list parties. Choose one in your area and put your name down as being interested. If you go to a swingers party remember the golden rule amongst all swingers is “no means no.”

You will not be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to, and no one will mind if you decline an invitation to play. Swingers parties are a very good way to meet a number of couples all at once to see if you feel a special connection with any of them.

Meeting another couple to swing with can be a bit tricky. However it is worth the effort because when you find the right couple you will definitely have a lot of fun.

How To Get Your Partner Interested In Swinging

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Swinging can be a great activity for a couple to take part in. Done the right way, it need not be damaging to your relationship at all. In fact, the consensus amongst most ‘successful’ swingers is that it actually enhances their relationship and brings them closer together.

What If Your Lover Doesn’t Like The Idea?

However, while there are thousands of happy swinging couples worldwide, there are also many people in a relationship who would like to try swinging but who have a lover who is not keen. Their attitude may be from simply not being interested to being totally negative about the idea.

If you have a wife or husband in this category, don’t despair. Your dream of being swingers need not die. Just realize that the approach you have been taking so far has not worked – so it’s time to take a new approach.

Don’t Get Angry With Your Lover

The first thing you must do is not get angry or upset with your wife or husband’s reaction if you bring up the idea of being swingers. Trying to plead with them or in any way coerce them into trying it will not only get no positive result, it could even harm your relationship.

Even if you do get them to agree to try it this way, it will probably not be a pleasant experience for you both; you certainly won’t be able to relax and enjoy it. Try not to get resentful. Instead, realize that you want to try swinger sex so that it will be fun for both of you. ‘

If you have the best of intentions than it is simply a matter of finding the right approach, the approach that works without damaging your relationship. After all your relationship is (or should be) the most important thing.

Introducing The Topic In The Right Way

When you introduce the idea of swinging, remember that your wife or husband will have beliefs about what swinging means and why you would want to try it. Does it mean you don’t find them attractive enough?Are you bored with your sex life?

These thoughts may be going through their head. In fact, they may even fear that by becoming swingers you will find someone else more attractive than them and leave them!

Removing Their Fears About It

So your whole focus in introducing swinging to your wife or husband is to remove their fears. You do this by letting them know that you love and adore them more than anyone else, and that your reason for wanting to try swinging is to enhance the sex life you already have with them.

You need to let them know that swinging is not about replacing any gaps in your relationship. It is all about adding some spice and sharing the experience together. You could even let them know that because you find them so attractive and sexy, seeing them turning someone else on would be highly arousing for them.

Also make sure that you make your wife or husband feel safe in your sexual relationship. Build up their trust in you. Let them now that you would never hurt them or allow them to be hurt in a swinging situation.

If you approach the idea of swinging with your lover in this way you not only have a much greater chance of taking part in the swinger lifestyle, but of you both enjoying it as well.

Going To A Sex Party – 5 Things You Need To Know

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So you’re interested in checking out a sex party, but aren’t quite sure how to get started. Fortunately for you, there are underground sex parties just about everywhere, especially in larger cities. Because of health codes, laws and regulations, most sex parties are “roaming” and move from place to place – often from someone’s posh pad to another. If you want to attend a sex party but aren’t sure how to get to one – and what to do once you’re there – check out these simple but essential rules that will help get you started.

Scoring An Invite

An invitation to a swinging get together or sex party isn’t something you’re going to get in the mail. Since most of these groups meet secretly, they’re considered “underground” and usually invites are given simply by word of mouth. Therefore, to get into a sex party – especially a top notch, elite one – you’re going to have to be connected. Invites to the sex party are given by the hosts to certain people, and they in turn invite people that they think would be a good addition. However, not everyone that hears about the get together are able to invite people. Since it only takes one jackass to ruin a great sex party, invitations are issued discerningly. Score your invite by getting out there and befriending people that are likely to be into that scene.

Condoms Are A Must

At a sex party, condoms are an absolute must. Of course if you and your partner are “watching only” and simply participating in sex with each other, that’s a different story. However, if you plan to be having sex with anyone else at the shindig, bring your own protection. A good host will have a “grab bag” of latex and polyurethane goodies that can be passed around, but depending on the type of get together you’re going to, they may not. It’s better to be safe than sorry, so slip a few condoms in your purse before you leave. Don’t expect to have sex with anyone else there without the proper protection.

Alcohol Is At The Discretion Of The Host

Depending on the type of sex party you’re going to and the preferences of the host, there may or may not be alcohol available. Hosts that have been jaded in the past by a drunk that ruined the shindig (because it only takes one) will most likely keep it alcohol free. Some hosts will provide alcohol for a steeper cover charge, or they will allow guests to bring their own and have a bartender there to serve it. Make sure you’re fully aware of the alcohol policy before you go, lest you bring a bottle of wine to an alcohol free party or end up alcohol-less when everyone else has something to ease their jitters.

Everything Must Be Consensual

Remember the golden rule about sex – anything that goes on between consenting adults is all in good fun as long as no one gets hurt. While there may be some questionably painful BDSM going on at your chosen shindig, it is usually okay as long as everyone involved in the activity consents to what is going on. If you’re not into something in particular, like anal sex, make sure you gravitate more towards others who are taking part in activities that you are more comfortable with. Don’t judge, because nobody at a sex party wants someone around who will look down on them for what they’re doing. On the same token, remember that anything you want to do with someone else must be agreed upon beforehand – even if it’s something as simple as giving them a slap on the rear.

Single Guys Are Usually Not Allowed

Many sex parties and sex clubs require that men come accompanied by women and single guys looking to hook up just aren’t welcome. Single guys who want to get into the sex party scene can come with a friend of theirs that is a girl, as long as they appear to be a couple and are comfortable with having sex with each other and other people. Guys, of course, must be on their best behavior and any guy that is being lewd or rude is going to get the boot – and his girl will end up outside with him. Single women, however, are almost always welcomed at these kinds of get togethers, because many couples are looking for a single woman to join the fun. Just remember that the cardinal rule of all sex parties is this: be safe, polite and have fun.

Q&A: Swinging & Threesomes – When Things Go Bump In The Night

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Lots of male/female couples are interested in swinging or having a threesome, but many guys are worried about having a threesome with another guy. That’s why most of the time, threesomes end up being between a guy and two girls, rather than a girl and two guys. Being nervous about a MFM threesome is common, but sometimes there may be pressure on you from your girl or the other guy to be ok with it. Before you jump into something you’re not sure about, there are a few things that come into play when discussing a threesome with your partner, from whether you’re comfortable with something to what’s ok and what’s not ok.

Question: (paraphrased from German-English…)

Hope we get the points correctly… I’ve been with my girlfriend for 1 ½ years and we’ve always been into fetishes and stuff. We’ve been going to a fetish club for a while and it’s really nice and the people are great. We thought about getting with another girl or a couple but the last time we tried to be a bit voyeuristic, a ‘guy’ tried to get with us. Since then I’m not sure what to think. I’m still interested in another girl or couple – but not sure about the guy thing?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCIKHWCnX-4[/youtube]

Communication Is Key

Communicating with your partner about having a threesome or a foursome is absolutely essential before you – and whoever else you’re planning on having sex with – step foot in the bedroom. Sit down and talk with your partner about how you feel about having a threesome or swinging and encourage them to open up about how they feel about it too. Keeping feelings and thoughts about having an open marriage is often what ends up causing trouble down the road after things have already gotten started and you can’t really go back. If you’re uncomfortable with something, or don’t want certain things to happen during the threesome, make your concerns known and talk about them with your partner. Talk about feelings of jealousy or trust issues and make sure you and your partner are both on the same page when it comes to having a threesome.

Define What You’re Uncomfortable With

When talking with your partner about what is ok and what is not ok during the threesome, don’t be afraid to define exactly what you’re comfortable with or uncomfortable with. Is kissing others on the mouth ok, or would you prefer to only kiss your partner on the mouth? Is oral sex or anal sex ok, or are those things you’d like to steer clear of? This is where you want to speak up if having another man in the equation is not something you’re comfortable with. If you’d prefer a MFF threesome instead of a MFM – or you’re totally against having a MFM threesome – let your partner know. Define exactly what you’re uncomfortable with (as well as what is ok) so there are absolutely no questions later.

Nobody Takes One For The Team

In a threesome situation, there is no such thing as “taking one for the team.” It is not ok to pressure someone to try to like something or be okay with something just so you can enjoy yourself and the same goes for if you’re uncomfortable with something – you don’t have to “try” to like something or pretend you’re ok with something during a threesome so your partner and whoever else is involved can have fun. If you’re not into anal sex, don’t let someone pressure you into “just trying it out” to see how you like it. Make it clear that it’s something that is not ok, before heading to the bedroom. Hopefully, you’ve had a chance to not only talk to your partner about what you aren’t ok with, but also with the other person or couple who will be joining you. If you’ve done this already, chances are, things you’re not ok with (and things other people aren’t ok with) won’t even come up during the situation. On occasion, couples will go to sex clubs and end up meeting someone that they want to take home with them that night, and there’s not really time to discuss the ins and outs of what you want to happen during the threesome. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to speak up during sex and say, “This is not something I’m comfortable with, can we try something else?” Your partner should have your back, especially if you’ve already talked with them about the threesome.