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Q&A: Losing Erection When Masturbating: Is That Normal?

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Many men have experienced the loss of their erection at one time or another, whether it was just once or twice or is a regular occurence. If you lose your erection during masturbation, does it mean you have erectile dysfunction? Here’s what to do if you find yourself going soft just when you want it to be hard.

Question: Is it normal for an erection to go down quickly if you stop masturbating?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLE1rsn456M[/youtube]

Losing Your Arousal

Whether you’re having sex or masturbating, if you get distracted in some way or lose your arousal at all, it’s perfectly normal for your penis to lose its erection and become flaccid and soft. You might have just had a random picture of your mother in law pop into your head or the phone rang or someone came to the door and interrupted you. If you’ve stopped masturbating all of a sudden for some reason, you will most likely lose your erection if you don’t get back to it quick enough. The same goes for having sex. If you stop out of nowhere and stop giving your penis adequate stimulation, you will definitely go soft. You may go soft right away or it may take just a few minutes. Annoying, yes. Something you should be worried about? Absolutely not.

After Ejaculation

After you ejaculate, whether you’re having sex or masturbating, it’s normal for the penis to go soft pretty quickly. After ejaculation, your penis senses that its work is done and it doesn’t need to be at the ready anymore. Some men go soft pretty much right after having an orgasm, while others stay hard for just a little longer. Longer erections can occur with certain medications, including Viagra, even after you’ve ejaculated. If you experience a persistent erection for longer than 4 hours, call your doctor or go to the emergency room immediately.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is something that is more common among older men, but it can happen at any age. If you find your penis losing its erection during sex or masturbation, regardless of how much you stimulate it, you might have erectile dysfunction. Having ED doesn’t mean that your sex life is over – in fact, many men who have erectile dysfunction lead normal, healthy and satisfying sex lives. If you routinely have problems with your erection, it’s time for you to see your doctor. They can lead you in the right direction. Don’t worry about being embarassed – you won’t be their first case of erectile issues and you certainly won’t be their last. No question is silly or stupid and if you’re uncomfortable with your current doctor, see another one that you’re more comfortable talking about your erectile issues with. It’s important to find the root of the problem here, because erectile dysfunction can be caused by either physical or emotional problems or a mixture of both. Your doctor may refer you to a sex therapist or a more specialized doctor, or they may decide to treat you themselves. Either way, you don’t have to live with erectile problems. There are people out there who can help!

Q&A: What’s The Best Way To Break Up?

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Breaking up is tough, regardless of whether you’re on the breaking up end or the being broken up with end. Deciding to end a relationship isn’t an easy decision but figuring out how to break the news to your partner is even more difficult. What is the best way to break up with someone without breaking their heart?

Question: I’m currently with a guy a year younger than me, and I just don’t click with him. He says he’s in love with me, but I think we’re too young to know what love is. I feel like he’s expressed too much too soon. And since I don’t want to lie to him, I’m breaking up with him. I’m just not sure how. What’s the easiest, least mean way to break up with a man who says he loves you? Please help me.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJl3D4M27To[/youtube]

Sooner Rather Than Later

When breaking up with someone, the worst thing you can do is drag it out. When you make the final decision to break up with your partner or divorce them, make immediate plans to break up with them soon. Don’t continue leading them on and making them believe you’re still an active participant in the relationship because you’re scared to break up with them or aren’t sure how you’re going to do it.

Make The Breakup About You

If you’re positive that you want to break up with your partner, you need to make the break up discussion all about you. Make it about your feelings. If you make the break up about things your partner isn’t doing or circumstances that you’re not happy with, your partner will immediately suggest that things can change. They will do everything they can to convince you to stay in the relationship by promising that things will be different. Your partner can’t argue with your feelings though, so keeping the discussion about how you feel keeps the break up a break up. Be honest with your partner, and while you want to be courteous and polite instead of critical, it’s never good to sugar coat something or lie to make them feel better. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to breaking up with someone.

A Learning Experience

While you may be tempted to feel like you’ve wasted your time being with someone you’re not going to stay with, it’s important to remember that each relationship is a learning experience. Relationships – and break ups – allow us to grow as a person. Be grateful for the time that you and your partner had together because not all of it was bad. If it was, you wouldn’t have made the decision to be with them in the first place. Take this opportunity to learn from the relationship and better yourself. It’s important that you realized your right to be happy and that you don’t have to stay with someone and be unhappy just because you don’t want to hurt them. It’s time to move forward with your life and everything that happened in this relationship will make the next relationship even better.

Q&A: Is It Good To Have Big ‘Lips’ or Labia?

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Everyone’s bodies are different, whether we’re skinny, fat, short, tall, black, white or anything in between. But society supposedly shows us what is “beautiful” and what isn’t, leaving us wondering if we’re normal and beautiful. We’re constantly comparing our bodies to those of celebrities and good looking people, and it’s no different when it comes to our sexual body parts too. You may wonder if your unique genitalia are considered “normal” or pretty, and if they look like everyone else’s. What’s normal when it comes to a woman’s genitalia?

Question: Is it good to have big ‘lips’? (And she means labia)

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjZENzYZh9Y[/youtube]

All Shapes And Sizes

Labia come in all shapes, sizes, colors, textures and thicknesses. The wonderful thing about a woman’s genitalia is that each one is unique and no labia or clitoris looks exactly the same. A woman’s vulva is as unique as she is, and her labia might be smaller than her best friend’s but much bigger than her co-worker’s. Some women have very, very small labia or “lips” and other women might have very large labia. Regardless of what size, shape or color your labia are, they are unique to you and beautiful in their own way.

Learn To Love Yourself

Part of growing up is learning to love yourself for who you are and what you look like. Each person is beautiful and unique, and no one looks exactly like someone else. Even identical twins have something different and unique about themselves, even if it’s something small. While society will continue to bombard us with images of what they think we should look like and act like to be considered beautiful or popular, it’s time we stop looking to celebrities, movie stars and television stars to tell us what is beautiful and what isn’t. You are beautiful in your own way and it’s time we learn to love ourselves from the inside out.

Labiaplasty

Some people just aren’t happy with the way the look, or have some body parts that cause them pain or discomfort. Very large labia may make a woman feel unattractive, or it may be uncomfortable in very tight jeans or underwear. If you truly dislike the shape and size of your labia, a plastic surgery option would be labiaplasty. This procedure is usually performed with an IV sedative and is quick with moderate healing time. During a labiaplasty a qualified surgeon will remove the excess labia tissue to give you more even, smaller labia that are proportionate to the rest of your genitalia. If you are considering labiaplasty as an option, think about why you’re getting the surgery. Don’t get cosmetic or plastic surgery because you’re trying to please someone else or look like someone else. Make sure you’re choosing surgery for the right reasons. Ask yourself some questions. Are you wanting to have surgery because your long labia make sex or wearing some clothes uncomfortable? Does the current appearance of your genitalia make you unhappy and keep you from leading a happy, satisfied lifestyle? Make sure this is something you truly want to do for yourself and that it’s worth the money you’ll be spending.

The Hidden Stakes In Your Relationship’s Heart

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What are the most common reasons a relationship ends? Infidelity, loss of interest, incompatibility, or lack of communication. Wow, those are all pretty big indicators that something is wrong within a relationship. However, what about those small things people never think twice about, the minor happenings you may not even notice seeping in? Here are some problems which could actually be killing your relationship from the inside out.

The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

“I am only telling you this because I love you.” Ah, the words of friends and family. Sometimes they have the best intentions. They may see something in your partner to which you have turned a blind eye. But sometimes, they just can’t see past their own opinions—such views that may have nothing to do with your partner at all. So what if your family thinks he is pompous or your friends think she is ditzy? This input has a way of crawling into your mind, taking hold, and poisoning a relationship. There are times when you need to listen to those you love (such as when they are worried for your safety, money, job, or other factors which do not involve “but you’re too good for him/her!”) and there are times when you need to tell them to butt out. Keep in mind, however, if it is not just one or two people but your whole clan warning you away…you may want to pay a little attention.

Video Game Break Up Box

“Just another minute, I’m close to beating this level!” Archaeologists will someday look back on our generation and refer to the computer or Wii as the Break-up Box. “Many people of long ago (particularly the males) used to get so absorbed within the workings of this strange device that it would drive away the partner and sever the relationship altogether. Fascinating!” they will ruminate. It is no surprise that, when doing a Google search of “World of Warcraft” and “divorce,” there are nearly a million hits. A person can become so engaged with a game that he or she will lose focus of what is really important. Don’t be that guy.

Getting Too Comfortable

“Can we please go out or something?” One of the best parts of being in a relationship is feeling so comfortable with another person that you do not have to get dressed up, you do not have to entertain them at all times, you can just…be…you. Yet this is one of the biggest traps into which a couple can fall. A person can become so comfortable in his or her relationship that they stop caring about their appearances, take their partner for granted, and may even become an outright bore. When this happens, it becomes very difficult for the girl/boyfriend to want to remain in that relationship. It is not just possible, but likely, if you are not careful. While you can certainly allow comfort into the relationship, don’t let it become the entire relationship.

Q&A: Long Distance Sex Toys – a.k.a. Teledildonics

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With long distance relationships, one of the toughest obstacles is feeling physically intimate with your partner. Fortunately, with the advance of webcams and voice chat, you can feel like you’re in the same room as your partner! Here’s the newest technology for long distance sex toys, also known as teledildonics.

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn! Firstly, thanks for answering my last question. I’m in a long distance relationship at the moment – I’m in Denmark and my boyfriend is in Turkey. Our relationship is great and we fulfill our needs over webcam often, but I was wondering if there was any remote control sex toys that could work over that distance? I could send it to him and give him control over my sexual pleasure! I love your show and you both have always been very helpful to me, so thanks and have a wonderful day!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m60V-Kgir5o[/youtube]

Advances In Sex Toy Technology

While remote control vibrators have been around for awhile, teledildonics hasn’t. Remote control vibrators are usually battery powered, and the remote has a very short receiving distance. These types of vibrators are great for spicing up sex play in the bedroom (or another room) with your partner but have no real application for long distance relationships. Teledildonics, on the other hand, allow partners over long distances to control each other’s sex toys over the Internet. Imagine being able to give your partner an orgasm from thousands of miles away!

Teledildonic Sex Toys For Her

In the future, we will see more options available for teledildonic sex toys, but right now the best toy out there for her is an Internet enabled rabbit vibrator. The rabbit vibrator is one of the most popular vibrators available for women, allowing for penetration, g-spot stimulation and clitoral tickling all in one. The Internet enabled rabbit allows your partner to control your vibrator from wherever he is. He can choose when to tickle your clit, when to stimulate your g-spot and how hard or fast he wants it to go. With this teledildonic sex toy, your orgasm is completely in the hands of your partner! This is an excellent option for couples in long distance relationships or those where one or both partners are away on business often.

Teledildonic Sex Toys For Him

The Real Touch teledildonic masturbator is one of the most revolutionary male masturbators available on the market. This device is designed to be used in conjunction with adult videos, and uses USB technology to sync the motions of the Real Touch with what the adult video star is doing onscreen. The Real Touch offers gentle heat to simulate natural body heat and a lubricant dispenser to mimic the way a woman’s vagina will lubricate itself during sex. While the Real Touch device can be somewhat difficult to clean as it cannot be submerged in water or placed in your dishwasher, many men will enjoy the ability to masturbate completely hands free. This is an excellent teledildonic sex toy for long distance relationships, but it can also be used by any man who wants a revolutionary masturbatory experience.