Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

3 Simple Ways To Create the Perfect Marriage Proposal

By

Did you know that the most memorable marriage proposals are also the most creative and unique?

Problem is, the more you want to blow her away, the more frustrated and stressed you become by trying to come up with an original idea!

Not to worry.

Here are 3 ways to get your creativity flowing and come up with your winning proposal idea:

1. FIND THE “PERSONAL” TOUCH

Aww… your girlfriend likes restaurants. Well guess what? So does everyone else!

You need to dig for those unique and special things about your girlfriend that stand out, and use them as your starting point for proposal inspiration. Nothing speaks louder than a proposal that says, “I love you and understand you deeply” at the same time.

If you’re stuck for ideas, grab a piece of paper and think back to all the memorable moments while you two were dating. What are her favorite things to do? What place does she hold dear to her heart?

If she grew up on the beach, maybe you could take her to a high cliff near a magnificent beach where she grew up, and arrange for her to see the words, “Kim, will you marry me?” written in giant letters on the sand down below as the sun sets.

As another example: I once knew a girl who was totally OBSESSED with Superman. So in this case, instead of parachuting into a party to propose, why not do it in a Superman costume?

See where I’m going here? Your first step to a perfect proposal is making a list of all the things that are special to your loved one and using them as inspiration for your proposal.

2. ASK HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Believe it or not, no matter how long you’ve been dating, you’ll almost always discover some new “little known facts” about your girlfriend by simply asking her family and close friends. While these hidden gems might not spark a proposal idea themselves, they’ll certainly guide you in the right direction and further inspire you.

3. FIND THE **WOW** FACTOR

Want to know if your proposal will be exceptional? Explain your proposal idea to a female friend and if she isn’t “mouth-hitting-the-floor-with-astonishment” surprised, go back to the drawing board!

I’m serious.

This is the most important moment in her life (and yours!) If the proposal stinks, what’s she going to think about the YEARS ahead?

Some people say that you should keep proposals “safe” or “simple” by doing something that everyone’s already done before, but considering 80% of women said their proposals were less romantic than they’d hoped for, isn’t that telling you something? While most men spend lots of money on the ring, they often lack originality, which leaves the woman feeling disappointed.

In conclusion, if your proposal doesn’t excite friends and family, it certainly won’t excite your wife-to-be.

Afraid To Talk To Your Partner? Here’s a Step By Step Guide to Overcoming Your Fears…

By

Certainly love means many things but one of the critical components is the ability to be courageous and indeed honest in your communications with your partner.

This is perhaps one of the most difficult of tasks because of the many fears that step in one’s way. It may not seem surprising that these fears are also those that eventually spell the demise of a relationship.

So what are some of these fears and how does one transcend them in order to establish a healthy and truly loving relationship?

Fears in Communication

First the fears; they include such things as:

  1. I fear I will be rejected if I speak my truth to my partner.
  2. I fear I will hurt my partner with my truth.
  3. I fear I will feel guilty and be unable to forgive myself.
  4. I fear I will have to justify my feelings or beliefs to my partner.
  5. I fear my partner may get angry with me.

Clearly capitulating to such fears means suppressing your own truth. That is accompanied with feelings of frustration, dishonesty, needing to constantly be on guard that one’s truth is kept under control, and a decreasing degree of true intimacy.

It may also lead to feelings of becoming emotionally and sexually distant from one’s partner, possibly the sharing of such information with third parties in order to vent one’s frustrations, sexual affairs and so on.

The tendency for all of these is to undermine the relationship anyway.

So if you’re feeling caught between the proverbial “rock and the hard place” how does one find a way to nurture a truly healthy, loving and sustainable relationship? Well, to summon up the courage to be honest and truthful when the circumstances call for it!

Summoning Up the Courage to Communicate

Of course in order to do so one must transcend the catastrophic beliefs i.e. the potential for rejection, being hurtful, feeling guilty etc., that are fed by the fears that I have listed above.

Here is a powerful way to accomplish this.

Let’s take the first item above i.e. the fear of rejection as an example that you can walk through with me.

Overcoming Fear Step by Step

Now contemplate the following question: “What is the benefit to you of having the fear of rejection living inside you?” Initially one may say that it protects one from getting rejected,

If this is the case, then supposedly how would you feel knowing that you were being protected in this way? Well, you might say that you might be feeling safe, secure, calm, relaxed, confident and resilient to the reactions of others to whatever you might say.

So to summarize one could say that: The fear of rejection causes you to feel safe, secure, calm, relaxed, confident and resilient to the reactions of others to whatever you might say.

Is That Really Your Truth?

Is that, however, the truth? Clearly not because this fear actually makes one feel anxious, weak, fragile, tense, and leads to secretive behaviors that make one feel guilty, insecure and in fear of being found out.

This is clearly the opposite of the summarized conclusion above espousing the supposed benefits of the fear. So, can these opposite statement be simultaneously true? Clearly not!

Determining the Truth for You

Well then, which one is the truth for you? If you look closely at it I think you’ll see that the fear is not beneficially acting for you.

Well that means that the statement above that ” The fear of rejection causes you to feel safe, secure, calm, relaxed, confident and resilient to the reactions of others to whatever you might say” is false!

If you see this, do you want this false belief to be residing in your mind or body? If not then simply ask, from your heart, to have this belief purged from your life now.

Next, you’ll notice that the fear itself is clearly toxic to you as it undermines how you feel and your behaviors in your relationship so do you want it living inside you? If not, then again speaking from your heart ask it to be purged from your life now.

Now contemplate how you would rather be or feel in relation to being able to speak your own truth with your partner. This might look something like: feeling calm, confident, resilient, relaxed, loving, honest, and so on.

If this new way of being, as you have delineated it for yourself, feels desirable then again assert this to yourself as you speak this through your heart.

Now that you’ve come this far simply notice how you feel inside and how you feel about and towards your partner. You may be pleasantly surprised at how wonderfully positive loving moments will emerge through your new found freedom to be open and confident in this way.

5 Tips For an Amazing Relationship

By

Here are 5 tips to help you make yours a truly amazing and happy relationship…

1. Make Time For Your Relationship

Time and time again, people tell me my ideas are wonderful, but they feel they can’t be as loving or romantic as I am because they don’t have enough hours in the day.

I have the same amount of time given to me each day as everyone else does. It’s how I prioritize the time that might be different. Besides my relationship with my Creator, my time spent with Athena is most important to me.

More important than my job. More important than the money I make. More important than exercise. More important than my friends or other family members. And yes, even more important than Ashton, my darling little son.

I am not against nice items for those who can afford them and don’t have to work insane hours to attain them. But I am slightly perplexed by those who work too many hours or have a long daily commute just so they can have “things,” not realizing they are losing something that is even more valuable and precious.

2. Share Secrets Together

I’ve got a secret and I’m not sharing. Actually, I have a lot of secrets. There are a lot of things that are only known to Athena and me that keeps us close.

I like it when Athena shares things with me that she doesn’t share with others. It makes me feel special and unique in her eyes. I tell her things that I don’t tell my friends or family. It’s not like these are horrible things we have done that we can’t tell others. I just want Athena to feel like she knows me better than anyone else.

Make your sweetheart feel special. Always share important things with them first. Let some things remain a secret between the two of you for a little while before letting the rest of the world know all about your personal life.

3. Have Date Nights

Without special time together, relationships can pull apart or simply become stale. But you can’t simply replace doing nothing with doing the exact same thing week after week. The oh-so-predictable dinner and a movie can be all right if mixed up with some other types of dates.

Here are a few suggestions: Bookstore, library, museum, zoo or park date, or together collect clothes for a shelter.

4. Spice Up Your Love Life

If you find that sex is becoming very sporadic in your relationship (and you are not happy with that) consider scheduling “sex nights.” Just like date nights, schedule one or two days each week for physical intimacy. Some people find the idea of planned sex off-putting at first, but later come to anticipate the weekly ritual. Having sex planned in advance makes for prolonged foreplay!

5. Get Your Debt Under Control

If you want to have a blissful relationship, you will need to get your debt under control (or at least a plan to do so). Otherwise, your debt will control you and affect you physically and psychologically.

When you get a paycheck, the first thing you should do is set aside money for charity/church. Doesn’t seem logical, but it works. Sit down with your partner and discuss all aspects of your family budget.

Only when you analyze your spending habits will you fully realize where you are wasting money. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your goals and dreams. Realize that frivolously spending money can be a sign of disrespect for your marriage and mate.

If you would like a bigger diamond ring or a fancier car, ask yourself why. Take a quick inventory of all the items you own but could really live without. Consider how much you paid for them. What if you didn’t buy those items and had all that money in savings instead? Would it make a difference in how you view your job, your family and your future?

I’m In Love With My Best Friend. How Do I Tell Her?

By

If you find yourself in love with your best friend, take heart. You’re not the only one! It can be intimidating, however, to think of ways to tell your best friend how you feel without risking losing your best friend.

You might be tempted to feel the situation out with your friend’s friends, or you might prefer the idea to keeping quiet. How do you approach your best friend if you have feelings for them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I really like this girl, I think I love her… But she’s one of my best friends and I don’t want to tell her about my feelings because I’m afraid that I will lose my friend. I told her friend about my feelings and I think she told her. Since then she’s gone all weird with me and doesn’t go out with me anymore. She always says that she’s busy or something. What should I do? Please help.

–Fizwan, England

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFrom_1KQaU[/youtube]

The Friend’s Friends

Bouncing the idea of hooking up with your best friend off their friends’ might sound appealing. You get an opinion that is as close as possible to your best friend’s opinion without actually being their opinion. Sure, it sounds great but in reality, this plan tends to backfire the most. What usually happens is the friend never keeps it quiet and approaches your best friend with the info.

While that’s scary enough, the friend usually puts whatever spin on it they like, based on how they feel about you. If that friend dislikes you or thinks you aren’t a good match for her friend, your best friend might hear a convoluted story. It’s not always this way, but if you tell your best friend’s friend your feelings, you can pretty much guarantee that your best friend will hear about it too.

Keeping Quiet

Risking losing your best friend over your feelings might sound like it’s too much to handle and it might be tempting to just stay quiet rather than risk the end of the friendship.  Sure, if you stay quiet, you won’t risk losing your best friend over your feelings. But you might also be living an unfulfilled life.

What if you grow out of the friendship and end up going separate ways anyway, but you never got to tell your best friend how you felt? Think long and hard about whether you truly want to stay quiet. Make sure it’s a decision you really want to make.

Telling Your Best Friend

You might decide that you want to let your best friend know that you have romantic feelings for them. It takes some guts, but in the end, you might be better off. Just make sure to tell your friend directly how you feel instead of letting someone else do it for you. It’s much better when they hear it straight from you!

If your friendship ends over it, you might want to consider the fact that perhaps your friendship wasn’t meant to be in the first place. Who knows though, your friend could secretly be nursing a crush on you as well!  The only tried and true way to find out if you can make a relationship work with your best friend is talking to them, one on one.

Take It Slow

If you end up being lucky enough to start a romantic relationship with your best friend, you might want to take it slow. Don’t skip the dating process just because you already know each other well.

This might cause you to move to fast and end up crashing and burning later down the road. Take the time to get to know each other in a different way. You might be surprised at how much new things you learn about your best friend!

Should I Really Be Worried About STDs?

By

When it comes to sexual activity, it can sometimes be confusing as to what can transmit sexually transmitted diseases and what can’t. What types of STD’s can be contracted during which kinds of sexual activity and when are you completely safe?

If you have oral sex can you common STDs like Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or Herpes?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH9Xov22Mnc[/youtube]

Sexual Activity and STDs.

There’s a reason they’re called “sexually transmitted diseases.” You can contract them through virtually any type of sexual activity, including oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal intercourse.

Some sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, HIV and Hepatitis C can be transmitted via blood to blood contact such as receiving a tattoo or piercing with a needle that isn’t sterile. When you have sexual contact or blood to blood contact with someone, you put yourself at risk for contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease. How can you protect yourself?

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C can be spread via blood to blood contact or through vaginal and penile secretions. This includes semen and pre-ejaculation secretions.

The best way to protect yourself against these types of STDs is to use condoms and dental dams while having oral sex, anal sex and vaginal intercourse,  make sure any tattoo or piercing artist uses a sterilized needle and don’t use intravenous drugs.

Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis and Other Infections

These types of sexually transmitted diseases are known as viral infections. They are spread by any sexual contact at all, but not through blood to blood contact.

While these are particularly unsavory STDs, they are most often treated with an antibiotic regimen and can be cured. If left alone long enough,  a Chlamydia, Gonorrhea or Syphilis infection can cause a great deal of other bodily damage, including muscle and brain damage, and more commonly sterility.

To protect against these types of sexually transmitted diseases, you should use a condom or a dental dam during any type of sexual activity. Oral sex should also be protected against because viral and bacterial STDs can set up host in the mouth and throat.

Other Types Of STDs

Other types of STD’s include genital herpes and genital warts and are more difficult to protect against than other types of sexually transmitted diseases. As these types of STDs can actually take up host in the pubic area of the genitals, a condom or a dental dam may not be enough to protect yourself from contracting one.

This is where STD testing comes in handy. A regular doctor’s exam can rule out any of these types of infections. Don’t have sexual contact with someone who is experiencing an outbreak of genital herpes and genital warts and don’t have sexual contact with anyone who appears to have any type of sores on their genitals.

If you are worried about contracting sexually transmitted diseases, it is important to take as many steps towards safety as you can. Regularly get tested for STDs and make sure you wear condoms and use dental dams when having sex.

If performing erotic massage, you can wear latex or vinyl gloves and if having anal sex or rimming, you can use a dental dam or a square of saran wrap. Know who you’re with and who they’ve been with and always be aware of what you’re doing. If you’re smart and safe, you can significantly reduce your risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.