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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

4 Myths About Bondage

By loveandsex

Bondage is gaining popularity, but there are many misconceptions about it. Check out these four untruths you didn’t know about bondage.

Bondage is pleasure-inflicting, fun and, most of all, safe, as long as you’re both aware of your roles and never cross the line.

The bound person finds it exciting because it provides him/her the opportunity to be ‘lazy’ but get all the attention at the same time; the only thing he or she has to do is relax and enjoy what his or her partner has in stall for the evening.

There is also the pleasure of suspense, of waiting to see what is going to happen next, where the dominator will decide to touch and how he is going to do it. Consensual, agreed on bondage gives the one that is dominated a paradox of feelings, which is quite enthusiastically perceived by the lovers of such a sexual activity; it puts you in state of vulnerability, but also gives you security, because the one that is doing it is a loved and trustworthy person. It’s a sort of a calm and serene surrender. A surrender that engenders new heights of sexual arousal.

For the one that does the ‘bonding’ however, it’s more about power in its purest physical and psychological form. No one else but you is really in charge in this particular erotic scenario. The visual appeal of having complete control over the other, tying him or her up and listening to him or her begging for ‘mercy’ is undeniable. His or her body is there for you to tease and please as you see fit.

Since I’m pretty much assuming that you’re aroused by now by the mere thought of trying it as soon as possible, I’ve put together a few comments and explanation so that you don’t fail from the first try, and, most importantly, don’t hurt anybody in the process, either physically or emotionally.

1. It’s Perverted

People involved in BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism) aren’t perverts who enjoy harming others, this is a prejudice older than Buddha and it makes me mad whenever I see that there are still people who think like that. Every couple can experiment with bondage if they are determined to change the “vanilla” setting of their love life with something hotter and spicier. Exploring your sexuality is something to be desired, not ostracized.

2. The Toys Are Violent

In itself, no sex toy is ever violent or abusive. The way you choose to use them can be, though. If you spank your girlfriend or tie her to the bed without her initial consent, then you’re in deep trouble mister, but you don’t need me to tell you that. If your action and intention are harmless, the toy is too. If you use it carefully and how it should be used, the only “violence” you’ll get is that of your partner’s orgasm.

3. It’s Addictive

People with obsessive-compulsive tendencies become addicted to their own behavior, whatever that behavior is. Bondage is not an illness or a drug, to become addicted to. If you have a fetish for this kind of sexual activity, it’s normal to want to do it more often than not, and if your partner consents to it or likes it just as much as you, bondage can be explored for as long as you like, without being considered to be an addiction.

4. People Who Like It Were Abused

Bondage is not a crime and people who want to experiment with it should not be made to feel guilty about it. As long as you are well informed about it, take responsibility for your pleasure and not listen to traditional authoritarian voices that belong to the past.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, domination, fetish, kink, kinky sex, sex tips

Boss’s Chair Sex Position

By loveandsex

Sex Positions: Boss's ChairIf he wants to be in control of oral sex, the Boss’s Chair sex position is to go with! It’s a very sexy form of submission on the female partner’s part and is also an easy position for her to give head in. With reduced neck cramps, she’ll have lots of stamina here.

How To Do It

The Boss’ Chair oral sex position is another commonly used one, simply because it’s easy to do and can be done almost anywhere a man can sit! The male partner sits on the edge of the couch or bed, or in a chair, and the female partner kneels in front of him, leaning down to give him oral sex. It’s an excellent position for him to be able to watch all of the action!

Where To Do It

Chair, couch, edge of the bed, anywhere he can sit. This one is particularly hot when performed with her under his office desk!

Props You’ll Need

Pillow for her knees or buttocks (if she prefers to sit)

Difficulty Level

1

Her O-Meter

1

If the female partner is on her knees, this oral sex position can definitely create neck cramps for her. Her neck is bent at an odd angle if she’s leaning over him, and it may be difficult for her to keep up for any length of time. This can be easily remedied though if she simply sits cross-legged in front of him instead of on her knees. This way, her face and head are level with his genitals (depending on the height of the bed, couch or chair you’re using) and she won’t have to bend her neck as much.

His O-Meter

5

This is another oral sex position that guys love – but then again, there aren’t that many positions that guys won’t like if they’re getting a blowjob. What men love most about this position is that they’re comfortable, but they’re also sitting up so they have a good view of what she’s doing. Ladies, keep long hair tied back so he can actually see you suck him off – if your hair is all around your face, he might think it’s Cousin It giving him head instead.

XXX Tip

Ladies, let your man hold a camera (or he can use his camera phone) to video the blowjob. The Boss’ Chair oral sex position makes for excellent POV (point-of-view) style porn for him to fantasize about you later!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Positions For Him, Sex Positions

PicoBong Honi Bullet Vibrator Review

By loveandsex

The PicoBong Honi Bullet Vibrator is a fun version of a classic bullet vibrator. Some women may find it’s not strong enough, while others will like playing with it during masturbation or with a partner.

Bullet vibrators are among the “must have” sex toys for both women and couples. They’re versatile, small, discreet and you can pretty much take them anywhere and put them anywhere. Many bullet vibrators of the past were attached to a remote control with a cord, and there are some still designed that way, but newer bullet vibes are cordless and wireless. Such is the case with the PicoBong Honi – it’s a wireless, cordless bullet vibrator that is perfect for use alone or with a partner.

The Good

The PicoBong Honi is cute, modern and cordless. The silicone covering is smooth and silky, and feels great when used with a water based lubricant. The bullet can go on either the outside and stimulate the clitoris, or be placed inside and stimulate the g-spot – such as during oral sex with a partner. It can even be used on the nipples, scrotum or anywhere else you please! It’s exceptionally versatile, small and discreet.

The Bad

Unfortunately, the PicoBong Honi only takes one AAA battery – and as a result, the vibrations are actually quite weak, especially when compared to other bullet style vibrators. For some women, especially those new to sex toys, this product may be enough to take them over the edge – but it’s not going to satisfy all women. Many women will find that the vibrations are nice and will definitely turn them on, but the highest setting doesn’t do much more than simply create the desire for more intense, harder vibrations. This may be a good toy for foreplay, but during masturbation, you may want to select something a little stronger.

The Bottom Line

The PicoBong Honi Bullet Vibrator is definitely a cute toy, but it really doesn’t hit the mark as far as vibrations go. With only one AAA battery to power the bullet, it can fall short of “orgasmic” for many women. However, it can make a fun toy to play with when you’re with a partner, or to use during foreplay to “awaken” the nerves in preparation for sex or another sex toy that is more powerful. It technically can be inserted since there is a loop to hang on to when you need to remove it, but the vibrations aren’t any better inside than they are outside. If you’re a beginner, this may just work for you but if you’re not, you’re better off getting another bullet with more vibration power.

The Full PicoBong Honi Review

The PicoBong Honi comes in three colors – black, pink and teal. It’s good for both women and couples, and can be a lot of fun when used on the nipples, clitoris, scrotum or inside the vagina. It’s cordless and requires only one AAA battery. The different vibration levels and patterns are controlled by simply pushing the plus or minus sign that is embedded in the PicoBong logo.

The bullet has a loop attached to it that makes it easier to hold, and easier to get out of the vagina if you decide to use it for g-spot stimulation. The soft, silky silicone covering feels nice on the body, but cannot be used with silicone lubricant or the material will start to degrade. Use only with water based lubricant.

Unfortunately, as cute as the PicoBong Honi Bullet Vibrator is, it falls short in the performance department. There are a number of stronger bullet vibrators out there – even cordless ones – and even though the Honi looks great, it just doesn’t deliver as far as vibrations go. The vibrations are weak and even the highest setting will leave you wanting more. It may do the job for some women, but it won’t for most, especially for women who are more experienced with sex, masturbation and sex toys.

The PicoBong Honi is, however, hypoallergenic and body safe – it’s made only with silicone and hard plastic, so there are no phthalates here. It’s small enough to fit in your purse or pocket, and it is fairly quiet – most likely because the vibrations aren’t all that strong. You could even use it in the same room as someone (say, under a blanket) and they wouldn’t be able to hear you. It’s also waterproof, so you can take it in the tub, shower, pool or bath. However, these positive features may not be enough to outweigh the one glaring negative – that it’s just not strong enough to take you all the way to orgasm-land. You’ll likely be left turned on without being able to go over the edge when using this product.

Overall, if you like the look of the PicoBong Honi and aren’t concerned with strong vibrations (or don’t need them to reach climax), then this product may be a good choice for you. If you’re looking for stronger, more intense clitoral or g-spot vibrations, another bullet vibrator like the LELO Mia may be a better option for you.

Filed Under: Bullets & Eggs

How To Choose The BEST Lube!

By loveandsex

Lube comes in all different kinds, consistencies, flavors and formulas. Here’s how to select the best one for what you’re going to be doing.

You’ve decided to go ahead and get some lube, but there are so many different kinds out there that it’s completely overwhelming! What kind do you get? How much money do you have to spend? Should you get one, two or four bottles? Should you get different kinds or stock up on one kind? Here’s what you want to know about what kind of lube to get for what you want to use it for.

Water Based

What It Is: Water based lubricant is just that – a lubricant made with mostly water and other inert ingredients. Water based lube feels the most natural, although it can come in both slippery thin versions and thick gel versions. It’s the most condom compatible lube and the easiest to wash off. It almost never stains sheets!

Don’t Use With: Underwater sex or sex in the shower. It will rinse away almost immediately.

Best For: Vaginal sex, use with sex toys

Silicone

What It Is: Silicone lube is not water based – it’s made from silicone (a type of plastic) and is typically “oilier” feeling than water based lube. (Never use oil for lube – it will ruin any latex product including condoms). It lasts longer and doesn’t wash away that easily. It requires washing off with soap and water and can be more difficult to get out of intimate areas like the vagina. It can also stain sheets and clothing, so be careful!

Don’t Use With: Silicone sex toys. Silicone + silicone doesn’t mix – it will degrade the toy and the outside will start to get sticky and gross looking!

Best For: Underwater sex, anal sex

All Natural/Hypoallergenic

What It Is: For sensitive women, there are “all natural” or “hypoallergenic” lubricant formulas available. Some are even considered “organic.” Most, if not all of them are water based, since silicone can be more irritating to some individuals. All natural lubes are usually unscented and feel very natural.

Don’t Use With: Nothing. These lubes are very versatile!

Best For: Women with very sensitive vaginal tissues, or men who have sensitive penises. Also good for couples who simply desire to use lubricant that is closest to their own natural bodily fluids.

Flavored

What It Is: Flavored lube is almost always water based, since consumers typically associate flavored lube with “edible lube.” And it usually is edible, although there isn’t really a lubricant out there that doesn’t taste like some sort of poorly flavored plastic. It’s tolerable though, if you must use lube during oral sex. However, the scents are what make flavored lube so great! They come in a variety of scents like chocolate, mint, strawberry and more. When using them for anal sex, the scents can come in handy when covering up any unwanted body odors.

Don’t Use With: Some flavored lubes are made with sugar, which can cause yeast infections in women. Read your labels carefully!

Best For: Oral sex or anytime you want a better smelling lubricant

Desensitizing Lube

What It Is: Desensitizing lubricant is a special formula with “numbing” ingredients that numb the surface of the skin it’s applied to for a short period of time. This type of lube was created specifically with anal sex in mind, but should not be used for this.

Don’t Use With: Anything! Desensitizing lube was created with anal sex in mind, since anal sex tends to be painful when not done correctly. However, if you use this type of lube with anal sex, it can prevent you from feeling pain – which can be a very, very bad thing contrary to popular belief.

You may think you want to numb yourself against feeling pain during anal sex, but you need to be aware if something hurts while you’re engaging in that type of activity. Tearing and bleeding can occur and when severe, require immediate medical attention. If you can’t feel what’s going on, you may not know there’s an issue until it’s too late.

Best For: Nothing, really. You can’t use it for oral sex because you don’t want a numb tongue (what good would that do?) and you don’t want your lover to have a numb vagina and clitoris either. You can use it if you’re a particularly fast ejaculator, but it’s not going to numb you to feeling the pressure of stroking during intercourse, which is typically what causes a man to orgasm anyways. It may buy you a minute or two, but it’s not really worth it.

Stimulating Lubricants

What It Is: Like desensitizing lubes, stimulating lubricants are either water or silicone based lubes that are made with special ingredients to stimulate the vagina or penis during sex. There are warming lubes or cooling lubes, both of which provide a tingling sensation. Some formulas of warming lubes get really, really hot and can burn quite a bit, while most cooling lubes aren’t as strong. These can be fun to play with!

Don’t Use With: Oral sex. Do you really want your tongue to be on fire?

Best For: Experimenting with a drop or two on the penis or the clitoris. Fun for handjobs! Use in moderation.

What Not To Use

Oils

Never, ever use oil based products like olive oil, coconut oil, baby oil or mineral oil during sex. These will break down latex condoms and latex sex toys faster than you can say, “Oh ****!” Technically, you “can” use oils like this if you’re in a monogamous sexual relationship with someone and you are both STD free and are either trying for a baby or are protected against pregnancy in other ways (such as birth control), but water and silicone based lubricants are so much better and more natural feeling. They’re also easier to wash off!

Saliva

Saliva is NOT lube. No matter how many times you’ve used it in a “pinch” and it’s worked okay, it’s just not the same. It doesn’t last as long, there’s usually not enough of it and it’s really not that erotic to be smearing your spit all over yourself and your girl’s vagina during sex. Just get some lube, okay?

Lotion

Lotion isn’t lube either. You may have used it during masturbation and sure it was thick, but it was better than nothing, right? It’s not going to work that way if you’re with a woman. It’s too thick and it will likely irritate her delicate vaginal tissues. Lotion is meant for the outside, not the inside.

Food Products Like Mayonnaise, Etc.

If the thought of using condiments like mayo for lube makes you shudder and sends you running in the other direction, good for you! However, people have been known to use whatever they have on hand instead of just going out and buying a bottle of damn lube. It’s ridiculous, yes. But it happens. Mayo and other condiments can have oil in them, so refer back to why you should not use oil as a lubricant during sex. Also, using condiments (unless it’s licking chocolate sauce off her nipples) during sex is just plain nasty.

Vaseline/Petroleum Jelly

These are oil based products. Read the label.

Lube is a great item to have on hand and it can be found almost everywhere, including your local supermarkets and drugstores. It’s inexpensive and you don’t have to be a certain age to buy it. Try several different brands, types and consistencies to find out what works for you and your partner! Sampler packs are great for this because it allows you to try different brands without spending money and wasting an entire bottle of lube if you find that you don’t like something. Above all, have fun with it because that’s what it’s all about!

Filed Under: Sex Toys Tagged With: better sex, lube, lubrication, sex tips, Sex Toys

Bridge Sex Position

By loveandsex

Guys will love the show a woman gives him when she bends over backward in the Bridge sex position. It’s a fairly difficult position to master, and can be hard on a woman. However, longevity is not necessary for this position – it’s a great one to try for a little while before you switch to something else.

How To Do It

The female partner will place her hands and feet on the floor while lying on her back and push herself up into a “bridge” position with her back arched and stomach curved towards the ceiling. The male partner kneels, aligning himself with his partner and gently guiding her hips as he thrusts. In this sex position, the female partner can lose her balance quite easily, and only very flexible women will be able to comfortably have sex in this position. However, her arched back and exposed body give him a very nice view!

If this one’s too challenging, try The Bridge sex position.

Where To Do It

Floor

Props You’ll Need

A pillow or folded towel for under his knees – rug burn hurts! Placing an ottoman underneath her back for support can help her stay in this position longer.

Difficulty Level

5

Her O-Meter

1

This can be an extremely uncomfortable sex position for a woman to get into, even if she is flexible. She may only be able to keep it up for a few minutes at a time, which is completely normal. Ladies, if you find this sex position just doesn’t do it for you, don’t be surprised. It’s difficult! Even if you do achieve this position and can keep it up for some time, the angle of penetration doesn’t provide for good clitoral or g-spot stimulation. This one’s more of a novelty for your guy.

His O-Meter

4

He will love how exotic this sex position is. It’s almost as if his partner is splayed out just for his viewing enjoyment, and in a way, she is! Since she gets very little out of this sex position, it’s pretty much all for him.

XXX Tip

Guys, play with her nipples or rub her clitoris during the action to make it a little more enjoyable for her – and you!

 

Filed Under: Deep Penetration Sex Positions, Sex Positions

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