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How You Can Seduce A Woman Using ‘Deflection Theory’

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There’s something that often happens when you’re out playing the ‘seduction game.’ That is, when you’re actively looking out for girls you think you’d like to hook-up with. Many men have experienced it, and many thousands of men still do experience it when they themselves are out playing the game.

It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls. You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection.

Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to. Sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.

How To Know If She’s Really Interested In You?

This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t). There’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing.

You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth.

She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.

Use Reverse Psychology to Turn Things Around

However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends.

When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego. So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful.

As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place.

How To Deflect Your Attention Onto One Of Her Friends

Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.

Use Strong Eye Contact When Talking to All of the Girls

However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target.

This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.

Casually Make Physical Contact With Her Friends More Than Her

For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.

Face Her Friends More Than Her

When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.

Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!

How to Attract A Woman: The Best Ways to Handle Physical Contact

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Touching/physical contact is an absolutely vital component of seduction. You can’t successfully pick-up a girl without first establishing a basic level of mutual tactility.

Establishing Touch

In other words, before you can move in for the kill by kissing and/or sleeping with her, you MUST first have a regular, healthy amount of touching that works both ways: she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee, you encircle her waist with your arm and pull her a little closer, whatever form the physical contact takes, it has to be present for you to achieve your final goal of actual seduction.

And that right there is where the problem for many men lies: how can a guy get the ball rolling when it comes to tactility and physical closeness? If the girl’s not being tactile, how can a guy develop mutual physical closeness without freaking her out or scaring her away?

Often men just “go for it” and consequently end up making the girl feel uncomfortable or even slightly violated because of their rushed attempt at physical closeness. Other men decide they don’t want to risk putting a girl off, so they hold back any kind of touching or bodily contact.

Doing so usually sends out the wrong message, that the guy is either not interested in the girl, or that he’s simply too timid to show it, neither of which are attractive scenarios in the mind of a good-looking, fun-loving girl. Okay, so what’s the solution to this awkward problem?

Basic Rules of Physical Contact

Quite simply, you just need to follow a few basic rules or procedures, all of which conform to the personal boundaries of most girl (and therefore don’t appear uncalled for or rushed) but at the same time clearly indicate that you’re a confident guy who’s not afraid of getting to know girls and even showing it through casual, relaxed physical contact. So, let’s take a look.

Touching is NOT a No-No!

Many men think that touching a girl in any way when they first meet them is an absolute no-no. But that’s simply not true.

To form a positive, strong first impression and create an immediate bond with a girl when you first introduce yourself or get talking, casually and gently touch the outside of her right arm while at the same time verbally expressing something.

The outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough a place for the touch to feel strange or out-of-place, but at the same time it’s a clear-cut sign that you’re a personable, socially adept kind of guy. Don’t be afraid to give it a try. You’ll notice the benefits immediately.

Stealth Tactility

Once you’ve started a conversation with a girl, or when you randomly find yourself chatting to a woman you really like the look of, it’s important to keep up the physical contact. Doing so helps maintain the bond and rapport you’ve already created and also helps build it further, into mutually felt sexual attraction.

You can use something called ‘Stealth Tactility’ to do this. Quite simply, stealth tactility involves making physical contact with the girl in a disguised way.

For example, if she wants to go to the bar or bathroom but doesn’t know the way, you can use stealth tactility by placing your hand on her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer, swiveling both of your bodies round until you face in the right direction, then point past other people or obstacles with your other hand to where she needs to go.

Use A Contact Close

Lastly, always try to use a ‘contact close’ when you finish your conversation with a girl. For example, after swapping numbers or arranging to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss.

Many men think that the hard work’s been done once something’s been arranged for a later date, but making physical contact before you part with a girl is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.

How To Approach Groups Of Girls You Don’t Know, And Get Them To Think You’re Great!

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If you’re wondering how to approach girls in a group and get them to think you’re wonderful, keep reading. For this example I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups too but for now, we’ll stick with this.

(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

After you’ve smiled and said hi to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good (as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response. This will happen and will happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up. You HAVE to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women).

One of my male friends did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her 3 years later. How’s that for effective!

Other Confidence Building Techniques

There are loads of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one. I go into others within my book…

Right, let’s assume you now have the confidence or at least the guts to approach women you don’t know in a bar (Again, I don’t just go into bar pickups in my book, in fact, I think the best places to pick up women are NOT in a bar. I think it’s everyday places where you’re not competing with other single guys).

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are sat together at a bar. One is the ‘ugly’ one and one is the hot one (the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more).

You see the girls. Go up to them and talk to them NOW! Don’t waste time. Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Some people call this the 3 second rule and I must say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

(Don’t worry I’ll tell you WHAT to say when you get there in a future lesson). So within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

ALWAYS, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side or an angle from the front. !!! NEVER from behind – IMPORTANT!!!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind you will INSTANTLY invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive – for obvious reasons. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS go in from the side.

How To Make Great First Impression On Women

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ALWAYS look your best.  I know this sounds REALLY obvious but you’d be surprised by how many men don’t understand the importance of this simple tip.

You never know when the girl of your dreams will turn up, or where. And it’s become a bit of a cliché because it’s true. First impressions really do count.

Here are some figures to consider from my studies.

The Numbers

If you make a GOOD first impression on a woman, you have a 90% chance of EVER getting with her at that point (10% of women for whatever reason will be unreachable for most men at ANY point – she might like women herself etc).

If you make a BAD first impression your chances with her reduce drastically to just 20%. This means that to make her attracted to you AFTER the first 3 minutes of meeting her will be incredibly difficult if her first impressions of you were bad.

It’s the difference between climbing a mountain and using a helicopter to fly up one. Good first impressions means you’re on your way to the top in the helicopter, bad first impressions

Honestly, I can’t stress this enough. Always try to look your best.

Tiff’s 5 S’s of First Impressions

Shave. Shower. Stylish. Smell. Shoes.

Remember these 5 S’s and always take care of them before you go out.

Why are shoes my number 5 S?

Your shoes are the FIRST thing a woman really notices about your clothing and hence your appearance.  Make sure your shoes are clean and fashionable.

The Importance of What You Wear

What you wear is very important.  I could try to recommend a certain look but as with all things fashionable by the time you read this it may have changed.

Get the latest GQ magazine or other fashionable men’s magazine’s and imitate the styles you see there. Most women don’t really care what labels you are wearing as long as you look good so you don’t have to spend the Earth on clothing.

Many guys I help dress better usually comment on how strange they feel wearing clothes they are uncomfortable in, but nine times out of 10 they start to feel natural and even confident wearing their new wardrobe within days.

The Importance of Scent

Make sure you smell good.  Again this is extremely important.  Remember how you feel when a woman walks by you and she smells soooo good. You feel an instant attraction even though you don’t know her.  Well, that’s how women feel too.

Wear a good-quality cologne, but don’t spray too much.

Don’t Get Carried Away

One squirt on both sides of the neck, and one squirt on both wrists — maximum.  You don’t want to smell too overpowering.

I recommend cool water by Davidoff or John Paul Gautier for Men (often called JPG love juice because women love it) if they don’t sell it where you are try to order some from abroad, this stuff is GREAT!

And here’s a GREAT little SECRET that I have found will help you actually pickup about 24% of women without SAYING a word to them! Not a single word! And NO rejection either. You won’t find this anywhere else…

3 Simple Ways To Attract More Women

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All single men would love to know how to attract more women, providing they’re not monks, gay or already Casanovas. I think that’s a fair statement.

So, how can a guy go about attracting more women? Here are three tips which, if followed, will definitely increase your ability to sexually attract women when you talk to them.

1. Appearances Do Matter

You’ll sometimes hear people say that as long as your personality is just right, then your looks don’t matter. These people are lying. Looks do make a difference.They either improve your overall level of attractiveness or they worsen it. Pretty simple really.

You still need a great personality to be really attractive, though (if you’re a good-looking idiot, you’ll be nowhere near as successful as a not-so-good-looking awesome guy). But, that said, making yourself look as good as possible is never a bad idea.

Forget about your physical features, because, good or bad, they aren’t going to change. Concentrate on your clothes and your hair (facial and head). You need to look trendy to your main target market (the women you’re most interested in attracting).

This might mean looking in magazines and at the mannequins in certain store windows to see what ‘works’ and what doesn’t. Don’t reject the idea of adjusting the way you dress, because first appearances are so often used as measures of the kind of guy you are.

Everyone does it. If you see a Goth, you assume certain things about them. When women see you, you want them to assume that you’re a fashionable, socially-aware guy. Show this through your clothes and your hairstyle. Develop a strong sense of identity and display it.

2. Learn the Art of Good Conversation

Good conversation with women (whom you want to attract) means four main things.

1. It is genuinely interesting and engaging

2. It is fun and addictive

3. There is no pressure

4. There is room for playfulness, teasing and flirting

Never start a conversation with a woman you want to attract on a serious note, because the first thing you talk about sets the tone for everything that comes later on. Don’t go down the obligatory routes, like, “What do you work as?” or “What kind of stuff do you like?”

You need to set the conversation off on an interesting and engaging note. Ask an unusual question which the woman will enjoy answering.

You then need to make sure you don’t fall into the ‘back-and-forth trap’, which is when you ask a question, she answers, then she asks a question and you answer, etc.

Worse yet, you don’t want to fall into the trap of you asking a stream of questions and her giving short answers. To avoid both of these problems, you should make sure you describe things in detail, in an interesting way. It’s good to tell a short story which is really interesting and funny, because it encourages the woman to do the same.

Many men avoid saying too much because they don’t want to take up too much time in the conversation, in case the woman gets bored. They don’t realize that by having the confidence to talk and describe interesting things, then hand the speaker role back to the woman, a man demonstrates social skill and, as a result, becomes more attractive to the woman.

3. Create Opportunities to Succeed

Without the chance to put the things you’ve so far learned into practice, you have no hope of attracting more women than you currently do. It’s like learning to strike a golf ball perfectly but never playing against someone in a real game.

So, you need to start going out regularly. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. Just pick a local nightclub, or some other highly populated social venue, and make it your second home. Force yourself to approach groups of people containing attractive women and start conversations with them.

You’ll soon see what works and what doesn’t and you’ll learn at lightning speed. Bear the rules of good conversation in mind when talking to the women and, as long as you look pretty trendy and can engage and flirt with those women, you’ll attract them.