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Attracting and Seducing Women: How to Use ‘Option Limitation’ to Maximize Your Success

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Getting girls to feel an attraction for you, that isn’t simply based on your looks, the contents of your wallet or the car you’ve got parked outside, can be really tricky.

After all, how are men supposed to know what each girl’s looking for without asking?

If you DID ask, you know your chances would be small, after all, no girl wants a guy approaching her with needy questions. She wants a confident man who somehow seems to know what she’s after and can give it to her.

So how do you do it?

How do you become the man that effortlessly exudes confidence, dominance and presence, without turning into an arrogant poser or desperate wannabe?

Exude Confidence

The answer lies in psychology. It’s at the heart of all persuasive social situations, and absolutely central to the success of any guy’s attempts at attracting and seducing women. Quite simply, by learning the CORRECT psychological rules, principles and tactics, any guy can play and WIN at the game of seduction.

For example, let’s look at one such psychological technique, that used correctly boosts any guy’s chance of getting a girl’s number or hooking up with her at a later date by at  least 50%, each and every time he uses it. It’s called option limitation and works on the following principle of human nature.

It’s All About the Number of Choices

When someone’s presented with only a single choice, often their natural reaction will be to rebel against it and go their own way. However, when given 2 or 3 options, the opposite occurs: they feel their intellectual freedom has been respected and they make their choice from the variety of options they’ve been presented with.

You can use this universal psychological principle when picking-up or seducing a woman by carefully constructing how you pose important questions or phrases while talking to her.

For example, most men think saying: “Can I have your number?” is an okay way to finish a conversation that’s gone well with a girl. But a much more powerful and effective way of saying the same thing would be to use option limitation.

A Better Close

Something like: “It’s been nice to meet you. Shall we swap numbers or maybe grab a bite to eat and a drink tomorrow?” What you’re doing is presenting the girl with a choice between good and better. Whichever she says yes to, you win.

Don’t Let Her Create Her Own Alternative

If you only give her one option, as in the first example, she’s likely to create her own alternative, which means there’s a chance she won’t say yes to the option you gave her. When she subconsciously recognizes that she’s been given a choice between multiple outcomes, she feels her intellectual freedom has been respected and she chooses one of them.

So, always use option limitation to give the impression there’s a variety of options available to the girl, even though each one is fine as far as you’re concerned. And to strengthen the effect of option limitation, always try to separate the choices you give the girl with the word “or.”  When people hear “or” they automatically recognize that they need to make a choice, and therefore do just that.

Option limitation is just one example of how, whether they know it or not, men who are successful with women CREATE that success for themselves – not through luck or good fortune.

How To Use Body Language to Attract Women

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Human body language is an excessively well-researched and -documented field of scientific study. Today we’re not going to be re-defining the rules of non-verbal communication.

What we will be doing, however, is looking at some examples of male body language which, once adopted by a man, have been shown to increase his appearance as being confident, self-assured, relaxed and masculine which, together, make him more attractive to the opposite sex.

Let’s start with movement.

Movement

The way we men move says a couple of different things about us. First, there’s the movement we’re making. What is the purpose of the movement? What is the motivation behind it? Then there is the way the movement is performed.

For example, a guy is sitting within a group of people in a bar and they are all talking to one another. He leans towards the table to pick up his drink and take a sip of it. That is the movement. Now what is the motivation behind it? He could be thirsty. More importantly, how does he make the movement?

He leans forward quickly, grabs the drink, takes a quick sip, then leans back to place the glass on the table once more. The movement lasted about 3 seconds. After witnessing the movement, the chances are that a woman would conclude the man reached for his drink not because he was thirsty, but because he was nervous.

How does she know this? From the way he made the movement. It was hurried, not calm. He did it while he wasn’t speaking, to give himself something to do and thereby reduce his internal anxiety.

This is the kind of thing you need to avoid when you are talking to a woman you want to attract. Remember the following:

Bear economy of movement in mind. To look relaxed, calm and confident, you need to only move for a good reason. It’s obviously fine to reach for your drink, or stretch out your legs, etc., as long as you are making the movement for a good reason and not one born out of feeling nervous and anxious.

Before you make the movement, briefly consider why you’re making it. You’ll probably be shocked at the number of times you catch yourself about to do something whose only purpose is to relieve some of your internal tension.

You’ll want to put your hands in your pockets, hold your drink in front of your chest, fiddle with the straw in your drink, touch your face for no reason…be aware of and control how often you move and the reasons you make movements.

Think about how you move

After considering why you move, think about how you should move. Don’t rush movements. Don’t hurry or look like you want to get the movement over with, as to not draw attention to yourself.

At the same time, don’t drag the movement out for too long. Taking 20 seconds to reach for your drink will either make you look like a sloth or a show-off. Find the middle-ground. Controlled and calm, not slow.

Are you being open or closed?

Exhibiting closed body language makes you look:

– Unfriendly

– Nervous

– Anxious

– Unconfident

– Socially inexperienced

Some examples of closed body language are: crossing your arms, crossing your legs under your seat, holding your drink in front of your chest, pursing your lips, making very few positive facial expressions, keeping your arms firmly tucked into your sides, clenching your fists. Avoid all of these, plus any other similar examples you can think of. Instead:

– Lean back in your seat a little bit

– Stretch out your legs a little way in front of you (do not overcompensate by lying back almost horizontally though)

– Express how you feel using lots of different, natural facial expressions

– Smile a lot, but not so much that it looks like you’re faking relaxedness (avoid the glued-on smile look)

The more open your body language is, the more women will feel that you’re approachable, friendly and non-threatening. In other words, the more they’ll want to interact with you.

Body positioning

You should use the positioning of your body to show women how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Your body positioning, when used properly, acts as a powerful partner alongside your verbal language.

For example, to signal that you are feeling relaxed and self-assured you can casually lean on the wall or the back of your seat. You won’t look bored as long as your facial expressions are right. Then, you can use your body positioning to show a sudden interest in something the woman has just said.

You hear what she says that really interests you, then you stand up straight away from the wall, or lean forward in your seat and say, “No way…you mean he actually said that to EVERYONE?!” or whatever is appropriate.

This is one example of how you can use your body positioning to give the woman the impression (hopefully an honest one) that you are truly engaged in the conversation and confident enough to show it. You react in a FULL way, with your body AND your words.

Establishing comfort

This is what in turn animates the woman. She feels comfortable enough to move her body too as you talk. After a while, you’ll find yourselves in motion as you talk.

You’ll move towards each other as you talk about something secretive or private, or move away from one another when one of you says something flirty or teasing (you’ll move away in a “I can’t believe you just said that!” way…the best way).

Hopefully you are now starting to see how YOUR body language can directly affect how a woman feels about you. Control it in the right way and it’ll have the greatest effect: she’ll see you as a confident, interesting, relaxed and… sexually ATTRACTIVE man.

Guys: Body Language Basics For Seducing Women

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Body language is VERY important. According to studies carried out over 50% of your communication comes from your body language, what you DON’T say, and less then 8% of your communication comes from what you DO say.

What does this mean to you?

It is MORE important to pay careful attention to HOW you say things, and HOW you stand and HOW you act than it is to WHAT you say (at least initially).

You see, you could have the BEST game in the world and be able to really get any woman to like you loads, for example online, but if you used those same successful techniques in the real world and lacked obvious confidence, lacked eye contact etc. You would simply CRASH and BURN!

Honestly, body language is SOOOO important in attracting women. Later in the course we’ll go into how you can use the female’s body language to READ her mind and know what she’s thinking. This article is about YOUR body language.

Ok… So, I’ll cover the basics as the advanced stuff is beyond the scope of this article.

Body language basics:

1. Smile

You have to make the female feel at ease and comfortable that you are a friendly and fun guy and you are not a psycho as quick as possible. Especially when talking to her for the first time. You also need to let her know that you are confident and comfortable around women.

A big and genuine smile is the best way to do this. It works. In fact, if you ever get an Ice Queen that you can tell is about to give you the “dead eye”, give her a big smile. Practice smiling at random people. You’ll be surprised by how many people smile back and at how many doors open to you. Smiling WORKS. Just don’t make it a cheesy, fake smile 😉

2. Eye contact

As you know there’s nothing worse than staring at a woman’s chest or even looking. It makes you just like all the other guys who drool over her. If anything you should use all your skill to NOT look at her chest – she’ll wonder why her womanly powers don’t work with you and she’ll seek your attention and subconsciously TRY to get you to look!

When talking to her, try to maintain eye contact. Not too much because it can be intimidating, but if you aim to have eye contact with her around 70% of the time you are talking, this should be comfortable for most women. Don’t stare like a crazy man, just be natural but if you naturally look away or are slightly shy when it comes to eye contact, make a conscious effort to have a little more.

Eye contact can make serious connections within people. They say the eyes are a window to the soul and I think there may be some truth to that. There are even speed dating type events being run that involve just staring into each others eyes – and from what I hear, they are pretty successful.

Maintain eye contact. Not too much, about 70% of conversation time. Be natural.

3. Upright posture

Guys can get away with a bit of a hunch, but women really do prefer men with straight, upright postures. Look at all the big film actors like Pitt, Cruise etc. They all have good posture. It says to a woman you are confident, healthy, and strong (at least in mind).

It’s just generally more attractive and says lots about who you are. Plus it’s good for your back and will help strengthen your back muscles making it easier to maintain.

Get into the HABIT of having an upright posture.

4. Gesticulate with open palms

You will not hear this tip anywhere else (or if you do, it was almost certainly copied from this course).

I’ve gone into in depth studies of body language and this one is a good one to use in MANY circumstances. I’ve adapted it here after solid testing to picking up women, however, some people suggest that when combined with a few other verbal and non-verbal techniques it can even give you a 50/50 chance of getting out of speeding fines!

Anyway, basically, when you are talking to a woman and trying to make a point (that puts you in a positive light) or defend yourself (for example, a girl suggests you might be a player) you talk and using your hands you have open palms facing upwards. Keep your arms in front of your body with your palms facing the sky and smile as you talk.

It works VERY well on a subconscious level to suggest you are being honest and telling the truth. And if you want a woman to begin to trust you, making her think you are being straight with her, is important.

This open palm gesticulation MUST be combined with a smile to work effectively.

The Art Of Approaching Women Anywhere Without Fear Of Rejection…

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For a man, one of the most daunting prospects he can contemplate is that of walking up to a woman he doesn’t know, saying hi, then flirting with her. It sounds like such a simple procedure, but the truth of the matter is anything but simple.

For most men, approaching women is a tough task with very little room for mistakes or mess-ups. That is one of the reasons they fear the approach so much, because they do not want to fail.

So, what are the other reasons men hate approaching and talking to women and, more importantly, how can a guy successfully approach a woman and start talking to her without any fear of rejection or gut-wrenching feelings of nervousness?

Reasons Men Fear Approaching Women

  1. They are scared of being rejected by the woman
  2. They feel inadequate. They’re too fat, too thin, too short, too pale, too something.
  3. They feel they lack the social skills needed to succeed. They don’t know what they’d talk about, how to make jokes, etc.
  4. They are scared of looking like a desperate guy who is hitting on women
  5. They are worried that other men will see what they are doing and socially punish them as a result

Fear of Rejection

So, first things first, why do men fear being rejected by women? If they don’t know the women they’re approaching, why should their opinions matter? Well, we all know that just because we don’t know somebody doesn’t mean we don’t care about what they think of us.

But the real reason men fear rejection is because the fear of rejection has been evolutionarily programmed into their brains. Like all other fears, it acts as a security device, which tries to prevent us from coming to any harm.

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, our ancestors lived in much smaller communities. Messing up with a woman in such a small tribe could easily destroy your chances of having kids. It’s really no wonder men still experience that pang of anxiety just before they walk up to an attractive woman with the intention, or hope, of talking to her.

Then come feelings of inadequacy. You could say that it’s because of feelings of inadequacy that men fear rejection. One leads to the other. Every man and woman has their own unique collection of personal inadequacies.

Regardless of what yours are, you’ll know what it feels like to think that they’re way too bad for any woman to look past them. Clearly this makes meeting a new woman very difficult.

Feelings of Inadequacy

The next reason on the above list follows on from the last two. First a man feels inadequate for some reason, then he fears being rejected and then, as a result of that, he avoids approaching new women and talking to them as much as possible.

This, of course, does nothing for his ability to successfully talk to, flirt with, and attract women. He avoids doing it and so avoids getting good at it.

The last two reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Because the guy feels inadequate and therefore inept at talking to women, he worries women will instantly identify him as a needy loser who wants to hit on and score with them. Clearly this is something he does not want to be seen as.

So! The big question is how can a guy approach women without feeling inadequate, without fearing rejection and without looking like a needy loser? Here are the general guidelines…

Tackle Sources of Innate Anxiety

This means identifying the things you truly don’t like about yourself and putting them into context. What are the things you are most scared of women identifying in you? Do you hate the idea of women looking at your big belly? Your small hands? Your sweaty brow?

Once you have identified your main ‘weaknesses’, you need to consider how much they matter to women. How will your weaknesses disadvantage the woman you want to talk to? A big belly won’t. Small hands won’t. A sweaty brow won’t. She’ll notice it, but it won’t change her psychology or physiology.

By getting rid of the sources of your innate anxiety, you free yourself up and allow yourself to be socially impressive and therefore sexually attractive.

Learn the Rules of Public Social Life

The reason it is scary to approach women in bars and on the street is because you don’t know them, and if you don’t know them, why else would you want to talk to them except because you want something from them? This is a big part of why men fear looking like a needy sleaze.

What you need to do is accept the fact that approaching strangers and talking to them isn’t the norm, then you need to bypass the obstacles which make it difficult.

Learn to ‘Open’ and Practice a Lot

‘Opening’ means starting a conversation with the woman you’ve just approached. It is an art form, but it nevertheless follows a strict set of social rules. You need to avoid looking overly keen from the outset, so try to start the conversation as if you’re walking by, then stopping because something has just popped into your head.

Talk almost a little bit over your shoulder to the woman when you speak your first words. Don’t put pressure on her by walking right up and standing in front of her. Also, make sure your opening line is strong. Don’t signal extreme sexual interest by complimenting her or flirting with her straight away. Don’t say “You’ve got really nice eyes, did you know that?”

Instead, ask something unusual, interesting and perhaps a little funny, like, “Hey, I’ve been having a discussion with a few friends. As a woman, do you think it’s okay for a girl to be stronger than her boyfriend?” She’ll almost certainly say it’s fine. Then you can say, “So you wouldn’t mind carrying him across the threshold on your wedding night?” And the conversation has begun…

So, identify your vulnerabilities and try to put them in context, then learn and think about the rules of social life, especially regarding talking to strangers, then learn a few openers and practice them a LOT. That is how you make approaching women anywhere easy.

How to Develop Confidence With Women in 4 Easy Steps

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You could say that confidence is the absence of self-doubt. When you doubt yourself, you tend to become less capable of succeeding at the thing you doubt you can succeed at. That might sound like a bit of a word puzzle, but it makes sense when you think about it.

Being unsure about something doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means that you don’t feel comfortable or calm about the idea of doing it. And, of course, when self-doubt creeps into your head, it’s bound to have a debilitating effect on your behavior.

Nowhere is this fact more evident than in the dating game. When a man doesn’t feel completely confident while talking to a woman, his chances of attracting her are drastically reduced, because his ability to appear attractive has been diminished.

The answer to this dilemma, predictably enough, is increasing the man’s confidence when talking to women by decreasing his feelings of self-doubt, anxiousness and nervousness. Let’s now look at how this can be done.

The process of increasing your confidence, and therefore your attractiveness, when talking to attractive women, can be broken down into four main steps.

Step #1: Understanding Women

This step could take a lifetime, but it really doesn’t have to if you take a simple, straight-forward approach to completing it.

First you need to avoid falling into the trap of thinking that women are like a different species to men, with completely different ideas, beliefs, needs and modes of behavior.

It’s true that women look for different things than men when dating, but their desires aren’t so different that they should be considered mysterious or unintelligible to men. They want to be made to feel:

– Good about themselves

– Happy

– Sexually attractive

– Valued

– Respected

– Admired

Men want to be made to feel these things too by the women they date. The difference is what it takes to make men and women feel these things. There are different routes towards the same goals, depending on whether the person in question is male or female.

So, to increase your confidence with women, you need to remember that although they are different to men, they still want the same fundamental things from men that men want from women. They just want them in slightly different quantities and, to get them, a slightly different route needs to be followed.

DO NOT let people tell you that women are mysterious. They are not. You just need to know what they want and how to give it to them. The same goes for men, from a female perspective.

Step #2: Become Skilled at Having Good Conversations

Before you even consider talking to a woman and attracting her, you need to become good at talking period. You need to become a skilled conversationalist, in other words. You need to be the guy that people talk to and, after the conversation, think, “That was awesome. I really had a good time talking to him.”

You achieve this by learning to develop the most important skill a good conversationalist can possess: emotion management. It’s all about how you make the person you’re talking to feel. What they think about you is governed by how you make them feel about themselves. But we’re not talking about giving them a motivational speech.

What you need to get good at is having a relaxed conversation in which the person you’re talking to respects you (because they see you as being of high social value, confident, etc.). Then you need to engage them, by hearing what they are saying, replying thoughtfully to it and offering your own input in the right way.

And then, most importantly, you need to inject energy and emotion into the interaction by laughing, smiling and generally expressing the right emotions at the right times.

So, make a conscious effort to become good at talking to people. Your conversations should be fun, interesting and addictive. You want people to really enjoy talking to you, then and only then can you expect attractive women to enjoy a conversation with you.

Step #3: Start Making Approaches

This is the hardest step so far, because it involves doing the thing you’re probably the most afraid of. But it needs to be done.

Start making a few approaches a week. You don’t need to start in a nightclub. You can begin anywhere. Your goal is to strike up a conversation with a woman and get it to the ‘hook’ point. The hook point is the moment in the conversation at which you can see and feel that the woman is engaged and dedicated to talking to you.

She would much rather be talking to you than not talking to you, basically. You need to go beyond polite, day-to-day conversation, into a verbal interaction which is genuinely based on getting to know each other.

Don’t expect too much of yourself early on. A one minute, boring conversation with a woman is a good a place to start as any. You’ll quickly learn what makes conversations go stale. It’s usually when you’ve asked about three questions and she’s answered them all.

Step #4: Tighten Your Skills and Begin Flirting

Once you have become better at talking to women in a general sense and can hook a woman in conversation quite frequently, then you can start to concentrate on your flirting. Flirting should be approached cautiously at first.

You don’t want to give away too much too soon. You should drop one teasing comment into the conversation and then gauge the woman’s reaction. If she responds by teasing you back, then you have a green light that she is attracted to you, which means you can gradually start flirting a little more.

You keep your teasing and flirty banter in line with the signals of interest the woman is giving you (her body language, the things she says, the way she touches you, etc.). If she isn’t giving you signals, then you need to liven up the conversation and get her attracted to you more, through your demonstrations of social skill and high social value.

These four steps, when combined, allow you to become habitualised to the process of talking to women. Your levels of anxiousness and self-doubt will lower and your feelings of confidence will therefore increase.