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Why Having Sex Right Away Doesn’t Mean He’ll Call…

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Okay ladies, I know most of you THINK seducing your date is the quickest way to get him to call you back but in reality it’s the worst thing you can do—especially early on!

There are many “dating experts” that will tell you differently including fellow colleague David Wygant, who by the way gives great advice about other aspects of dating.

I just totally disagree with him on this point! Come on Dave!  You’re a guy and you are in no way guaranteeing that taking it off gets a call back. It just gives the guy a great time in the moment! The problem is, the minute you leave, ladies, you are out of sight out of mind.

Why taking it all off doesn’t work 

I’m not saying be a prude and cover up from the top of your neck to your ankles. I’m saying, ladies, dress to look nice and desirable as a human being not a piece of meat on display. Men don’t fall in love because of their libido.

They fall in love when they allow themselves to give up their heart. Commitment for a man is always a conscious choice. Until a man decides to commit, he will continue to play the field, often with more than one woman at a time.

Sure, most guys will gladly sleep with you, and they’ll be quite pleased with you for satisfying them. Here’s where you will get confused. Just because he sleeps with you doesn’t mean he loves you. In fact, it doesn’t even mean he LIKES you.

It just means you were willing, he was “in the mood” (which is every guy all the time) and so you did it. It in no way means anything else, in HIS mind as far as “commitment.” Rather it will be a pleasant instant gratification moment.

Another negative about jumping in the sack with your date is that the minute sex is involved, the communication level of a developing relationship seems to just freeze. However well you’ve gotten to know each other at that point seems to be as far as the relationship “depth” goes. This is a very bad consequence if you were trying to move him along the path of committing to you.

Thinking sex right away is a good idea? It’s not just you. 

I can give you story after story, example after example to prove my case. I’ve seen the evidence all over America and I’ve seen it all through the entertainment industry (where I spent 16 years and all my single years).

I so feel bad for all these female celebrities because they are making the same mistakes many of you are and jumping in the sack, even getting pregnant, to try and catch their man. For them, the results are worse because they’ve just given the guy bragging rights for nabbing a celeb who they didn’t have to commit to first. Kudos to the guy, sympathies for the celebrity who will soon be dumped—that is if she was ever even considered a girlfriend.

Okay, okay, enough ranting, let me close in just telling you there are many other ways to capture that man’s heart than taking it off and using your body, no matter HOW amazing your body is.

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

What To Do When You Catch Your Cheating Man With Another Woman…

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You’ve just started dating this incredible guy, one you are sure will be the father of your children, even though you’ve only gone out 3 or 4 times, and suddenly you bump into him in public while he’s with ANOTHER WOMAN.

What do you do? Do you tell him off, run the other direction or say hello?

Stay calm! 

Just breathe. Relax and play it cool. If you make eye contact or if he literally is face-to-face with you, just say “hi” and something casual then move on (even if you are shaking and totally dying inside).

The other woman does not need to know you are also dating him. You are better than that and don’t need to stoop to competing with her. Believe me it is just as uncomfortable for him that you’ve run into each other at this awkward moment. If he cares about you romantically, and you’ve played it cool, he will call you soon and make up some excuse.

It’s all about "the talk"

Here’s the deal ladies, unless or until you have had “the talk” with each other about being exclusive, you are both free to date other people. And most likely, he IS dating someone else other than you. Not every man dates more than one woman at a time, but many do. That doesn’t make him a cheater when a relationship is new.

But I will say that this is another reason why it is a really wise to hold back on the passion especially when love is new. I’ve had clients say “but if he’s dating someone else and I won’t sleep with him then he will go elsewhere for sex and fall for her.” He may also go elsewhere, but it doesn’t mean he will fall for her. That’s not how a man falls in love.

Even if he does begin sleeping with another woman in the early stages of your relationship, it doesn’t mean he LIKES her any more than you. In fact he may be totally into you and just using her.

If you play it cool and take it slow, you will be the one he chooses to give up all others for!

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

Is He Really in Love or Are you Just a Fling?

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All too often women think they’re dating, yet sadly in their man’s mind they’re just a fling. Ouch!

So how do you know for sure if you’re on the way to a relationship rather than just hooking up? You face what you are actually getting from your man.

So how do you take steps to make sure you are actually on the way to a relationship and not just his latest fling?

Here are 5 ways to know for sure!

5 Signs that you are just his fling!

  1. Your man excludes your name when he talks about future events. Or he regularly talks about his future plans as “I will be doing this,” rather than “we will be doing this.”
  2. You haven’t met any of your man’s close friends or family members. If he’s not showing you off, he’s hiding you.
  3. You only see each other late at night or in private. If you mostly see your man at his place or late at night, then you are a secret affair and most likely there is another woman in the picture.
  4. Your man rarely calls you in advance. And when he does call it’s to get together immediately or the same day. If he’s calling you at the last minute you are far from his first choice!
  5. You man is only interested in sex. If your time together is nothing but rolling between the sheets and he rarely asks you questions about your life and ambitions, then you are just a fling.

    5 Signs he thinks of you as his girlfriend!

    1. Your man regularly includes you in talk of future plans—be it a concert, vacation, company party or family event. If he discusses upcoming events in his life and talks as though you will be there, he considers you someone he is dating.
    2. Your man has introduced you to close friends and family members. He is proud of you and enjoys involving you the lives of people important to him.
    3. Your man takes you out on real dates where he is actually spending money on you and being seen with you in pubic.
    4. Your man calls you often and asks you out at least two days in advance.
    5. Your man actually asks about your life, goals and dreams then listens to your answers. If he is investing time in getting to know you more than trying to jump in your pants, then he is pursuing a relationship with you.

    Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.