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Q&A: Magic Eight Ball – Will I Have A Girlfriend In College?

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Going off to college is a huge step. You’re worried about lots of things, like your classes, your grades and definitely your dating life! College is a great place to meet people, make new friends and build solid relationships. Will you have a girlfriend or boyfriend in college? Here’s how to find out!

Question: My question is plain and simple so hopefully you will answer. I haven’t had a girlfriend in 8 months. I am currently in high school going off to college. Is there potential I will have a girlfriend in college?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrpNq7MjbJg[/youtube]

It Depends On You!

No Magic 8 Ball can truly tell you whether you’ll have a girlfriend in college or not. If you want to have a girlfriend when you go off to college, it’s up to you to make it happen! If you’re hanging out alone in your dorm room playing video games when you’re not in class, you’re not going to meet people. There are thousands of great people at every college or university, and most of them are from out of town and have left their friends and families at home. They’re looking to meet people and develop friendships and relationships too! It’s up to you to put yourself out there so people can meet you and get to know you.

How To Meet Girls In College

When you’re not studying, make an effort to go to some of the on campus activities. Most colleges and universities offer a variety of activities such as volleyball, fooseball tournaments, pool and more. These activites are a great way to meet new people! Pick up the campus newsletter to find out when things are happening and get your studying done so you can plan to go to the activities. Colleges also post things on billboards around campus, so take a few minutes while you’re waiting for the shuttle to check out the flyers. You can also hang out at an on campus coffee shop, study hall or even the student union. Keep an open mind and a friendly, positive attitude and don’t be afraid to approach someone to say hello! If someone approaches you, be warm and receptive rather than shy. Going to college and being around so many new faces is scary but it can also be fun!

Don’t Get Discouraged

Even if you don’t meet someone right away, don’t stress out. If you continue to put yourself out there, you’ll eventually meet someone that wants to date you and vice versa. Start by making friendships and spending time with new friends. Meet them to eat at the dining hall or meet for a study group on the weekend. Friendships open doors to meeting new people as well, because you’ll get to know the friends of friends and so on. Eventually you’ll hit it off with a girl and start a fun, exciting new relationship that might turn into something that lasts! Remember that dating in college is all about having fun and learning new things. If it doesn’t work out with one girl, it doesn’t mean you’ll never find anyone. This is the time to pick yourself back up and get back in the game! When you present your best self, people will want to get to know you.

Q&A: How To Turn Down A Good Friend Who Wants To Date

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When a friend wants to date and you don’t return the feelings, it can make for an uncomfortable situation for both of you. You’ve turned him down, but he’s still at it and it’s starting to get a little creepy! Here’s how you can let him know that you’re not interested in being more than friends and actually get him to hear you.

Question: There is this guy that I’m friends with and he’s a nice guy but I don’t have any interest in him other than friends. He asked me out and I said no, but he is still sending me gifts and asking me out. Having to reject him constantly is getting kind of pathetic and is creeping me out! How can I get him to get over me without hurting his feelings?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Tt3EAbhNZk[/youtube]

Be Firm

One of the main reasons that people who want to be more than friends keep at it even after they’ve been turned down multiple times is because the person they like is giving them mixed signals. You may have turned him down, but you also may have given him some kind of signal that makes him think he just needs to try harder. It’s time for a sit down talk with this guy to let him know that you’re really not interested in any kind of relationship beyond just friends. Period.

Safety Tip: When telling him that you’re not into him that way, make sure you’re in a public place during the day where there are other people around. Tell a friend where you’re going and when you expect to be back. Take your cell phone with you. DO NOT meet him at his house or yours, or anywhere at night. He may just be a sweet guy who is a little too intense, or he may wig out after being rejected face to face like that. Just make sure you’re being safe and that you’re not giving him the opportunity to harm you in any way.

Don’t Answer The “Why” Questions

When you have “the talk” with him, he may ask you why you don’t like him or what’s wrong with him. Don’t answer these questions! If you do, you’re giving him the opportunity to change what you think is wrong with him and then he’ll believe that once he’s “changed” that you’ll like him. This is not what you want to have happen. Let him know that these are your feelings and this is all about you. He is perfectly dateable material and there’s nothing wrong with him, but the romantic connection between you and him just isn’t there and you’re simply not moving beyond friends.

Do You Really Want To Be Friends?

If this guy is creeping you out, stop and think if you truly want to stay friends with him after you let him down. Did you have a good friendship with him before he asked you out? Were you close friends? If not, don’t try to tell him you want to stay friends just so he won’t get hurt. It’s okay to tell someone that you don’t want to date them or be friends. You deserve people in your life that enrich it, not take away from it or stress you out. If being friends with him afterwards isn’t something that you want either, it’s okay to tell him that.

Q&A: How To Ask A Good Friend To Go On A Date

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Often, friends end up falling for other friends and want to move from a friendship to a romantic relationship. If you want ask out one of your good friends but don’t want to end up ruining the friendship, you’re not alone. Here’s how to tell if she likes you too and what you can do to get out of the friend zone.

Question: How do you know if a girl likes you and if she does, how can you ask her out? I have a very close friend I would like to date, but I do not want to lose her as a friend. The reasons why I think she likes me is because she has told me how ugly she thinks she is and how she will never find love. We are very close and I do not want to lose her as friend. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpb8IJDbqNk[/youtube]

Let Her Know How You Feel

Honesty is the best way to go on this one. Pretending that you don’t like her as more than a friend or saying that you just want to stay friends because you think that’s what she wants or you’re afraid of ruining the friendship isn’t going to do either of you any good at all. Tell your friend how you feel about her and be completely honest. Let her know why you like her and why you want to be more than friends. Don’t ask for a response right away, because putting her on the spot to accept your romantic invitation may lead to a “no” because she just needs time to absorb the information. Just let her know that you’re telling her how you feel and you simply wanted her to be aware of it. Let her take it from there if she wants to. If she doesn’t make a move, you can continue being friends.

How To Interpret Her Body Language

You may be wondering if your friend has been showing you romantic affection for awhile and you haven’t been picking it up. If a girl likes you, she’s going to give you a lot of body language that shows that she’s sweet on you. She may touch you often, face you when you speak or constantly laugh at your jokes. She may want to be close to you all the time or may want to hang out all the time. Pay close attention to your friend’s body language, because often you will be able to tell if a girl likes you simply because of the way she acts towards you.

Show Her Affection

If you like your friend romantically, it’s important that you show her affection as well as telling her the truth about how you feel. Show her with your body language that you like her. Hug her, be close to her and compliment her. Compliments always go a long way for a woman! Laugh at her jokes and be there for her. If you’re good to her, sooner or later she will see that you’re a great choice for her. But she’ll never choose you if she doesn’t know how you feel about her!

Q&A: Help! I Keep Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

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Getting stuck in the friend zone is no fun, especially if you really want more than just a friendship with someone. But are you really looking for a serious relationship, or is it a case of like attracting like? Here’s how to find out if you’re ready for a relationship or you really are getting stuck in the friend zone!

Question: This is my first question to you guys, and i just got wind saying that you guys know your stuff when it comes to relationships. I got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiance, and its been 3 months. I’m talking to women, and it seems like all women want now is casual sex, no commitment. I feel like I keep getting stuck in the “friend zone” and that’s all women look at me as. Any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am9544xXUvw[/youtube]

Are You Really Ready For Committment?

It’s a common belief that “like attracts like” and those looking for serious relationships will actually be attracted to each other. If you’ve just gotten out of a long, committed relationship, you may subconciously just be looking for friendships right now and not know it. If you’re only attracting women who simply want to be friends and have casual sex with no strings attached, take a moment to think about if that’s really what you want too. It’s okay if you’re not ready for a serious relationship and having fun with friends is a great way to get yourself back in the dating game. Sit down and really consider what you want at this time. Are you really looking for another committed relationship or are you attracting the kind of people you subconciously want to date right now?

Don’t Rush It

There’s no rush when it comes to dating after ending a serious relationship with someone. Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, the body, mind and soul still needs to grieve for the loss and take time to adjust to a new lifestyle. Things are very different for you now, and it’s important to give yourself time to absorb it. That doesn’t mean isolate yourself, but you may want to be careful about jumping right into another committed relationship. Give yourself time to think about the relationship, but also allow yourself to think about what you want now before you take the next step.

Attracting The Kind Of Partner You Want

When you’re really ready for a committed relationship, trust that you’ll start attracting people who feel the same way you do and are also looking for a committed relationship. Focus more on having fun now, and let whatever happens happen. Time has a funny way of healing old wounds and paving the way for new and better things in your life if you let it. Constantly trying to attract a partner who wants a serious relationship when you don’t – even subconciously – will only put more stress on you and make you feel like you’re not “dateable” material. Don’t worry about it! Just have fun and build new friendships and nurture old ones. Take this opportunity to make your life what you want it to be right now and in time, the right person will come.

Start Dating Your Way Into A Great Relationship

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Because of who I am, people ask me for dating advice frequently. I certainly have some favorite tips I like to hand out to those in need. So whether you’ve come back to the dating world after a breakup or divorce, or just after an extended break from romance, try these tips to get you on the right path to finding and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Declutter Yourself

  • To learn what you DO want, define what you DON’T want. Everyone has some things that are non-negotiable – some people won’t tolerate smoking, others won’t tolerate gambling, and so forth. To learn how to make an effective list of deal-breakers, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.
  • Prepare yourself for your new relationship everyday by doing little things to de-clutter your soul. It’s time to start letting go of all those old love letters and photos that only remind you of heartbreak. Start looking toward your future and be ready for love!
  • Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone. No matter how desperate you may feel inside, rushing into things at the first sign of chemistry is not likely to end well. Remember the last time you were head-over-heels about someone and did a bunch of stupid things you now wish you hadn’t? This time around you have an opportunity to do things differently: think it through. Something SEEMING perfect is a lot different from it actually BEING perfect.

Attract The Right Kind Of People

  • Starting off with “sexy” may seem like a smart move, but is that really how you want people to value you?
  • You are a human being, not a product in a display window. Don’t go out there trying to sell who you are.
  • Relax and know that there is enough love out there for all of us, plenty to go around and around. So smile! You don’t have to compete with anyone to come out a winner in this game. There’s plenty of love out there that everyone can win.
  • Put off that urge to merge until you’ve found out some vital things – what are this person’s relationship goals? Where do they see you fitting into that framework? Jumping into bed is not going to create a foundation if one wasn’t there to begin with.
  • You want to aim for a balance in the flow between give and take. You bring certain things to the party to offer; what does the other person bring? Knowing this right from the beginning can help you avoid a situation where you’re doing all the giving all the time, and they’re doing all the taking.
  • Aim to be with someone who likes the kind of person you really are. I used to think I would attract a greater number of people by trying to be what I thought people wanted, but the key to finding someone who fit me well was to embrace my true self, and let that shine through to attract the right person!

Be Your Best Self

  • Notice how you act and how you feel when you’re around the person you like. Do they bring out your best qualities, or do they bring out some strange things you don’t even recognize as being you? There are some subtle differences between excitement and fear. There’s a difference between feeling energized, invigorated and refreshed, as opposed to anxious, unsure, and insecure.
  • Safety and integrity are important – don’t compromise on your core values! Use your common sense and take care.

But the best thing I could ever say to you, the advice that will see you through every trial and tribulation, is the one you can start putting into practice today: Great relationships begin within!