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You are here: Home / Archives for Singles & Dating / Dating Tips

Think You Have to Let Him Call You First? Not Anymore!

By sarahelizabethmalinak

I saw a depiction of a young woman calling a man for a date while maintaining her sexy femininity!  It was exciting to witness and I want to share it with you.

I realize that expressing my discomfort over the fact that these days both sexes expect that she will call him for that first date is a favorite drum I beat.

Time and couples have proven that when a woman allows a man to pursue her, if a relationship ensues, the relationship has a better chance of survival.

That means letting him call her first.  It means letting him speak first with his voice, though she may speak first with her eyes and body language, giving him encouragement to pursue her.

Calling a Man in a Way That Allows Him to Maintain His Masculine Energy

Given that women call men for dates and that men expect them to, here’s how to do it in such a way that he gets to maintain his sexy position holding the masculine energy and she gets to maintain her sexy position holding the feminine energy!

In the movie, “Happy Go Lucky,” Poppy is a thirty-year-old single female, living in London.  With her carefree attitude, it is no surprise that she is a successful grade school teacher.  The fact that she is single doesn’t bother her a bit.  In fact, the romantic relationship she begins doesn’t occur until the very end of the film.

She has a problem with one of her students becoming violent.  A social worker named Tim gets involved.  He turns out to be compassionate and effective.  A handsome man, he and Poppy spark to each other instantly.

After their session with the student, Poppy walks Tim to the door where they have a flirtatious conversation and reveal their interest in each other.  Tim asks Poppy if she would like to go out sometime.  She giggles a flirtatious and humorous affirmation.  He invites her to give him a call and gives her his phone number.

As Poppy’s life is full, she has plans for the weekend and doesn’t get around to calling him until Sunday.  They flirt on the phone until she finally asks, “So, you fancy going out with me sometime?”  They then arrange for the following Friday.  The way the date is depicted on the screen is delightful in its charm.

Later, at his apartment, they make love.  At the foot of his bed, Tim encircles Poppy’s waist with his hands and kisses her repeatedly while she stands in a pose of surrender with her arms akimbo.  When she finally takes his head in her hands and caresses him, her touch is visibly warm and inviting.

The Depth of Their Intimacy

It is riveting as this carefree woman, easily taken for being silly, shows up as an excellent lover.  Their intimacy the next morning as they putter around his apartment reveals the same tender depth.

He takes her home later in the morning because she has an appointment to keep.  She winds up having a stressful day and doesn’t talk to him until the afternoon of the following day.  Their conversation is flirtatious and fun as they revel in the possibility that they are falling in love.

How She Maintained Her Femininity While Allowing Him to Maintain His Masculinity

How did Poppy maintain her femininity, making space for Tim to maintain his masculinity; thereby, creating an energetic field where he would continue to pursue her?

First, Poppy isn’t needy, clingy, or suffocating.  Her life is full.  It isn’t empty because she doesn’t have a man.  When this man comes along, even as she is receptive to his interest and advances, she remains independent and confident.  That is such a turn on!

Confidence is Key

By waiting to call him for that first date, she further communicated her confidence.  She also spoke to him in a language he understood.  When a man is interested in a woman, he may take his time calling her, especially if his life is full.

When a man takes a woman out on a first date, he can take up to three weeks to call her back!  It can take a man that long to realize he misses her and wants to be with her again.  In the meantime, his life is full of work and other obligations.  For her to take a day or two before calling him back feels natural to him.

When they scheduled the date for five days later, she communicated her confidence once again.  Women who feel needful for a man in their life are quick to arrange for a date as soon as possible, preferably the very same day the call is made.  Such quick scheduling communicates a woman’s neediness, serving as a yellow caution flag.

Again, after their first date, twenty-four hours transpire before she hears from Tim.  She had a harrowing experience the day before, yet did not call him to share it with him.  Instead, she processed the experience with her flat mate and best friend, Zoe.

This is a significant part of the recipe for a confident and sexy woman!  Her life is full because not only does she have satisfying work, but also she has close women friends with whom she can talk and listen and they can process their feelings and lives together!

She doesn’t need her romantic relationship to meet all her emotional needs.  If she isn’t currently in a relationship, such independence and confidence make a woman very attractive.  If she is currently in a relationship, it contributes to the health of the relationship and the happiness of the individuals in it!

A man getting to be the man and a woman getting to be the woman within their romantic relationship is delicious.  I am thrilled to discover that a man can give a woman his number, expecting her to call first, while they both maintain their same gender energy.  It bodes well for the day they fall in love!

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: confidence, dating, first date

Been Out of the Dating Game for A While? Here Are Some Pointers That Will Save You Time And Heartache

By elainewilliams

You’re a widow, divorced or caught in the midst of life’s circumstances. Perhaps you’d never thought this would happen to you at this time of your life, being alone.

Maybe you’re alone by choice but not really sure if you want to remain that way. There are plenty of choices of where to go from here, but the tough part is making the one that’s right for you.

If you’ve been out of dating a number of years, you may find the dating scene has changed considerably.

I hadn’t dated for 25 when I stumbled back in. I experienced a wide array of emotions; shock, dismay, impatience, annoyance and even moments of wonder.

Some Pointers That May Save You Time and Pain

Learn to recognize those who are “takers” – those who want a physical relationship and nothing more. If you’re also looking for a noncommittal relationship, this may work for you. However, be aware that once intimacy enters a relationship, the rules change. Many times it leaves the door open for attachment and ultimately, unfulfilled expectations if one party leaves.

Unsafe and Unprotected Sex

We tell our children to use condoms and practice safe sex. We owe ourselves the same. Educate yourself on sexually transmitted diseases and how to avoid them.

A Free Meal is Only a Free Meal If…

If you are treated, there’s no obligation other than a gracious thank you. If you don’t feel a connection with someone, offer to pay for your portion of the check.

Abusive Relationships

No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, whether verbal, mental or physical. Walk away. Don’t hold false hope that things will get better.

Smooth Talkers

We all know at least one, don’t we? They’ve had a lot of practice to talk their way through just about anything and anyone. Do I need to say more?

Needy Relationships

Everyone likes to feel needed from time to time, but if you’re in a relationship where you’re constantly bailing someone out, save yourself the stress and your wallet.

Emotionally Unavailable Individuals (Surface Daters)

They talk a good game, but can’t deliver any lasting commitment or anything beyond the immediate moment. They have a difficult time offering support in any substantial way, show no real caring in you as an individual, nor do they exhibit a real interest in sticking around.

These relationships (for want of a better word) start fast and fizzle shortly thereafter.

Clinging and unwarranted jealously might feel empowering at first, but be cautious about being sucked into a relationship based on this type of need. Do you seriously want to be in a relationship where your every move is questioned and up for inspection?

Dating Can Do a Number on Your Self-Confidence

In today’s world dating can take a hard shot at your self-confidence. You begin to wonder if the right person will ever come along. You’ve done your best to be proactive. Everyone says you’re intelligent, attractive… and yet you’re still batting zero on the dating scene. Is it you or is it everyone else? It may be a combination of both.

As a widow of almost five years, I’ve found what worked best for me was pursuing my own interests. Involve yourself in activities and work that stimulates you, instead of placing that burden on a prospective partner. When you feel more whole as an individual, you might just find that perfect someone popping up into your life when you least expect it.

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: dating, love, Relationship Advice, romance, sex tips

Why You Should Never Have Sex On The First Date

By victoryarogers

Although not having sex on the first date seems to be the golden rule of dating, many men and women still end up in the sack after a dinner, a movie and just a few hours or less to get to know each other.

Are you setting yourself up for first date failure if you hop in bed right away? You bet!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvXrpCXMFOU[/youtube]

The Dreaded Booty Calls

You might have or have had a few people on your speed dial who were good for one and only one thing, a booty call,  but do you really want to be that person on someone else’s speed dial? No way!

If you go on a first date that ends up at your apartment or theirs, you’re setting yourself up to become their booty call of the future. Worse, if the sex was bad, they probably won’t call you at all. Think about that before you strip down to your skivvies after the first date!

Ruining Your Shot At A Real Relationship

To some people, being a booty call every once in a while isn’t a big deal and it doesn’t end up being a deterrent not to have sex on the first date. However, if you really like a person and want to try to develop a real relationship with them, you are definitely ruining your chance at that if you end up in bed together right after your first dinner.

Having sex with someone, whether it’s on the first date, the third or the 27th date, halts the “getting to know you” process. After that point, it truly becomes a sexual relationship for awhile. If it lasts long enough, you and your partner will find a balance between spending time with each other sexually and spending time with each other outside of the bedroom.

Nevertheless, for a good period of time, you and your partner will be fairly focused on sex as you discover each other in a new way.

The Implications of Rushing It

If you rush into it, the getting to know you process will become obsolete and often leads to problems later in the relationship if there ever ends up being a relationship at all.

If you want a real shot at trying to build a relationship with someone, your best bet is to spend as long as possible getting to know their personality and their interests before you get to know their body.

Keeping It In Your Pants

Even if you’re with the hottest person on the face of the planet, having even just a little self control will definitely work to your benefit. You can avoid becoming just a booty call and you can even give yourself a shot at a real relationship.

When the time is right for sex, both you and your partner will feel it and it will most likely be better than either of you ever expected! Having sex too soon though, especially on the first date, will just end up sabotaging the whole dating process. Don’t waste your time!

Editor’s Note: this video and article represent the position of today’s guest and don’t necessarily reflect the opinion of Ask Dan & Jennifer. Generally speaking, having sex on the 1st date (or 2nd or 3rd) is not necessarily a problem. Each person, each couple, and each situation is different, so it’s important to follow what is right for you (age appropriate of course).

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: first date

Mirroring – Discover This Little Known 1st Date Secret

By victoryarogers

Going on a first date can be intimidating, no matter how long you’ve been on the dating scene. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can ensure first date success.

One of the most successful ways to hit it off with someone on a first date is using a technique called “mirroring.”

Mirroring is a technique that you can use to help your date feel comfortable with you almost instantly so you can focus on getting to know them.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwvWvGgV_iE[/youtube]

What is mirroring?

Mirroring is actually something that good friends and couples do naturally. For example, if you’re at dinner with a friend and they lean further towards the table, you might unconsciously do the same.

If you’re sitting in a theater watching a movie and you cross your legs, your boyfriend or husband might cross his legs too. When you’re comfortable with someone, you will naturally mirror their body language and movements and they’ll naturally mirror yours.

How can you use mirroring to your advantage on a first date?

Naturally, you’re not going to instantly and unconsciously mirror someone on a first date and it’s unlikely that they’ll mirror you. This could be a reason why first dates are often so awkward! However, you can use your understanding of the mirroring technique to make the first date jitters a little easier to handle and help make your date feel more comfortable with you.

When you’re on a first date, pay special attention to your date’s body language. You want to try to mirror them in a way that looks unconscious by you, like natural mirroring, without looking strange or suspicious.

This might take a few tries to really get down pat, so it’s helpful if you try to practice your mirroring technique with friends first. They can give you input on how your mirroring looks to someone besides yourself.

Using mirroring from now on

Once you feel comfortable consciously using mirroring as a technique, you can utilize it on your first date and even second or third dates if you need to. Eventually, if you and your new date become close, mirroring will become second nature to you, as it is with your current friends and family.

When on a date, try mirroring your date’s body language. If they rest their hand in their chin while listening to you, try resting your hand in your chin while listening to them.

How can mirroring help make a first date more comfortable?

The subconscious mind picks up mirroring and sees it as a sign of comfort and connectedness. When you mirror your date’s body language and their subconscious mind picks it up, they’ll automatically feel connected to you.

They’ll instantly want to get to know you better and will feel like they’ve “hit it off” with you. This gives you a chance to really evaluate if you’ve hit it off with them, and can make your entire dating experience better in the long run.

If you learn to use mirroring as a way to help ease some of the tension on first dates and help your date to feel connected to you, you’ll have more positive relationships. Even if the dating doesn’t work out, it’s likely that you’ll develop lots of friends in the process and avoid building up your arsenal of dreaded first date horror stories!

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: date ideas, dating, dating advice, romance, romantic ideas

How To Start Living (and Dating) Again After The Death Of Your Partner

By elainewilliams

As a widow of almost five years I know how hard it is to pick yourself up after the loss of a spouse. In the early days it’s sometimes difficult just getting out of bed.

You wonder if that numbness will ever recede or will your life remain a monotonous series of nothing-ness. Eventually, a new normal will creep into your life, and a healing can take place, if you allow it.

Dating Can Be Fun!

Dating again can be a wonderful experience, if you decide that is the right course for you. Whether you’re looking for another partner or still undecided, there are some exciting ways you can create a life that is rewarding for YOU.

Try something a little different each week. Start out easy and don’t set yourself up for defeat.

How to Create a New Life

Go to lunch by yourself for the first time. I recall the first time I did this after my husband’s death. I live in a small town and was sure everyone who knew me was staring at me since I felt so self-conscious. Bring something to read while you wait for your food order, even if it’s just your mail.

Have you been invited out but declined social events or dinners because you’re solo and know everyone else will be paired up? Go anyway. If you think you’ll feel awkward, ask if you can bring a girlfriend.

Don’t wait for someone else to jumpstart your life. Take charge, even if you’re only moving ahead at a snail’s place.

Take Charge!

Call up a girl or guy friend and meet for a movie. Many times I’ve gone by myself. Either way is fine, just know you don’t need someone else to have a great time. Get yourself out of that rut and invest in you.

Do you like to dance? Check out places around town or in the neighboring towns that offer dance lessons, no partner needed.

How about that pottery or water color class you always thought would be interesting? Look into instruction at your local colleges, art stores or artist colony.

Be Active

If you’re an outdoors person maybe you’d like to research some hiking trails. There’s plenty of clubs that cater to various levels of hiking endurance and ability. Again, check your local sporting goods store bulletin or ask around.

Cross country skiing, snow shoeing, horseback riding. There are all kinds of fun things to do.  If you prefer a slower pace, how about meeting with friends for a walk a few times a week?

Find Out What’s Available Near You

Have you ever asked yourself if it would be fun to go canoeing or kayaking? I live near a state owned park and they rent kayak and canoes on the weekend. Kayaking is a glorious, freeing experience, out on the water in the middle of a lake or paddling down a creek.

Go to a local sporting goods store and find out where there are classes or groups that meet for kayaking. You won’t be sorry.

How about traveling? Is it too scary a prospect going alone? There’s plenty of groups that cater to singles, whether you want to hike, bike, kayak or just take in the sights in a leisurely fashion.  Do a search on the internet for “vacation tours” or “singles vacation packages”.

How about some relaxing time at the beach? The last few years I’ve found affordable rentals in the off season on east coast beach vacations. Invite a friend or two and your relaxing vacation can cost you as little as $600 with airfare.

Off-season the weather may be a little cooler, but there are still many sunny days. Recently two writer friends and I rented a beach house and we split our time between writing, reflecting, relaxing and laughing.

Try Something Indoors

If you’re more of an inside person, check out local chess, knitting, quilt or crochet groups. Go visit the nearest craft store.  It’s amazing what is available whether you like designing your own projects or creating a masterpiece from a kit. Activities that you enjoy engage not only your hands but also your mind.

Have you thought about volunteering to deliver meals to seniors or helping out at a nursing home once a week?

Yes, it’s difficult when you first get out there, but each time you venture out, it does get easier. You’ll make new friends and find new adventures. Who knows, you may find the next love of your life, but it may never happen if you close yourself off from the joy of living a fulfilling life. We all deserve a good life, so open your arms to the one that will bring you happiness.

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: dating, dating advice

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