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5 Tips for Sexy Flirting – That Doesn’t Go Too Far

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When scoping out the dating scene, it’s easy to spot someone you might be interested in having a conversation with and seeing if there is any chemistry. What isn’t easy is flirting with them in a sexy way without being creepy or going too far. Many men try to flirt in a sexy way and end up going way farther than is comfortable for both him and her and after that, there’s no way he’s going to get her number. Here are 5 great tips on sexy flirting that you can use and be confident that you’re not going to push the wrong buttons.

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Flirting Tip #1 – Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a very important flirting tool that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked. In fact, eye contact really is the cornerstone of good flirting techniques. You can use eye contact in a crowded room to let someone know you’re interested in them, or you can use eye contact when someone is speaking to let them know you’re truly interested in what they have to say. When making eye contact across a room to let a girl or guy know that you’re into them, simply gaze across the room at them and once you make eye contact with them, hold it for a few seconds longer than you’re comfortable with. Just don’t stare at them in a creepy way – you’ll eventually need to break the eye contact and move across the room to introduce yourself.

Flirting Tip #2 – A Genuine Smile

There’s nothing more sexy than a genuine smile! Smiling is a great way to let someone know you’re interested in them, whether it’s from across the room or while you’re having a conversation with them. Don’t fake it either – a fake smile is easy to spot a mile away. Fake smiling, or smiling too much may make you seem a little strange. Smile genuinely and they’ll know you’re having a great time. Smiling also goes well with eye contact when making the effort to flirt. People are naturally attracted to someone who will look them in the eyes and give them a great, heart warming smile. Don’t pretend to be too cool to smile, because it definitely won’t score you any phone numbers to take home.

Flirting Tip #3 – Mirroring

Pay attention to their body language and make sure you are mirroring what they’re doing without mimicking it move for move. Completely mimicking their actions will definitely make you look creepy and it won’t be long before you’re sitting at the bar by yourself because her friend had some kind of crisis. For example, if she touches your leg lightly, place your hand over hers. If she leans towards you while talking to you, lean in towards her slightly too. Body language is incredibly powerful and if you put off the wrong body language vibes, she may think that you’re not into her even if you are.

Flirting Tip#4 – Use Lingering Touches

It’s perfectly normal for people to touch each other during casual conversation. For example, a light touch on the shoulder when laughing at a joke they said or brushing against them to get by them are all perfectly normal parts of a casual conversation. However, if you’re flirting with a girl and want her to know that you’re really interested in her, use lingering touches. A lingering touch is a touch that lasts just a few seconds longer than it normally would, but not too long – you want to be sexy not creepy. Without lingering touches, she may assume you’re just “one of the girl friends” and you’ll end up getting stuck in the friend zone. It’s okay to let him or her know that you care with a light but lingering touch.

Flirting Tip #5 – Lick Your Lips

Draw attention to your sexy, sensuous lips by licking them subtly, biting the corner of your lip or touching your lips. This signals to the other person that you definitely want in on some kissing action. Don’t draw too much attention to your mouth by doing this constantly – that will just make you look weird – but sly lip licking or nibbling here and there will have a powerful impact on the person you’re interested in. You’ll also want to pay attention to whether they’re licking their lips or touching them, because this is a signal to you that they want to kiss as well. If they’re giving off the signals of wanting to be kissed, lean over and whisper something in their ear. Linger there for just a second. Chances are, they’ll turn their head slightly towards you for the “accidentally on purpose” kiss.

Q&A: Flirting Tips – How To Deal With That Awkward Silence

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It happens to everyone – you know, that awkward silence  or conversation dead zone during a date where neither you nor your partner are sure what to say next. Are silences always uncomfortable, or can it be a good thing sometimes? Here’s how to enjoy the silence from time to time, but also how to plan things to ask so you and your partner can have great conversations and really get to know each other!

Question: I want to know what to say when it gets all silent when you’re talking to girl, because I really don’t know what to say next! I feel like I’ve already talked about everything. Please help, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1oKxT047fY[/youtube]

Silence Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Having a few quiet moments during a date isn’t so bad, especially if you’re having a meal together. You and your partner need time to actually eat! Society conditions us to be around noise all the time, through television, radio and the Internet. Most people’s homes nowadays aren’t quiet at all – there’s always some kind of noise or talking going on in the background. So naturally, people begin to feel comfortable around constant noise and are actually made uncomfortable by being in silence. Sometimes silence is good. However, there is a big difference between that good old fashioned “comfortable silence” and the awkward kind that can go on a bit too long. Here’s how to combat the latter.

Learn More About Her

While you may be tempted to talk on and on about yourself because you’re A) not really sure what questions to ask her and B) you’re afraid of letting the conversation die, talking only about yourself on the first date is the quickest way to throw away your chance at a second date. Take some time to plan  out some different types of questions to ask your date so you can get to learn more about her. Ask her questions about her day, where she works, what she likes and what her favorite things are. Ask her what she might do in different hypothetical situations. Believe it or not, these types of questions can help you learn a lot about a person! Be prepared to answer the same questions yourself. You may find that a lot of questions open up new conversations!

Use A Cheat Sheet

 If you’re talking to your partner on the phone, having a cheat sheet full of questions you want to ask is a great way to keep the conversation going. While some dead time is almost always acceptable during a face to face date, dead time on the phone usually isn’t. Need some help thinking of questions to ask your date to keep the conversation going? Use Michael Webb’s 1000 Questions For Couples. It’s a comprehensive guide absolutely chock full of tons of questions that you can ask your partner – and not just the usual ones that you hear all the time. These questions will really get the ball rolling on a date. They’re also great questions to ask even if you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone, because many of these questions you probably won’t know the answer to even if you’ve been with your partner for years!

Phone Flirting Tips

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Whether you’re in a long distance relationship or dating on the phone, you’re going to find yourself having a conversation with your partner on the phone at one point or another. While “phone dates” may not seem as important as face to face dates, how you carry on the conversation with your partner makes an impact. Here are some tips on how to get it right and make a great impression.

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Tone Of Voice

Your tone of voice and how you speak makes an impact on the overall conversation, in addition to what you say. Don’t use the same tone of voice you would use if you were on the phone with your mother, your kids or even your boss. Use a completely different tone of voice, similar to what you would use if you were on an actual face to face date with this person. Lower your voice and speak softer and more slowly. Remember, even though you are on the phone, it is a date! Relax, picture your partner in your head and let your tone of voice become what it would be if you were talking to them in person.

Body Language

Believe it or not, your body language will make a huge difference in how you sound on the phone to your partner. You may be trying to sound sexy and sultry, but if you’re busy doing the dishes, doing the laundry or even occupied with the computer or television, it’s going to come through in your voice. When flirting on the phone, you don’t want to sound busy, stressed, tired or preoccupied. Stop what you’re doing and sit back and relax. Lie on the bed or the couch and let your body language mimic the tone of voice that you’re using. If it helps, put on some comfortable or even sexy clothing and light some candles to help set the mood and get you in the right frame of mind.

Be Present In The Conversation

One of the worst things you can do on a phone date is to be listening to someone and start checking off your to do list in your head, or allowing your mind to wander in other ways. Your partner deserves better than accurately timed “uh-huh’s” and “yeahs.” Be present in the conversation. Shut off the television, go to a quiet place and focus yourself on the conversation at hand. Listen to them, ask intelligent questions and provide intelligent answers to the questions they ask you. You can even take notes at this point if you want. For example, if your partner mentions something they like or don’t like, make a note of it so you can remember later.

Let The Real You Shine Through

Don’t try to be fake when flirting with your partner, because sooner or later you’re going to get busted and they’re going to see right through it. Part of the beauty of flirting on the phone is that you can let the real you shine through. Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not because you think they’ll like you better that way. Just be yourself! Be honest and kind, and stay true to who you really are. Your partner will appreciate that they are getting to know the real you instead of the person you’re trying to be.

Q&A: What Is Flirting?

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Guys and girls that haven’t had much experience with dating may wonder what flirting is. You’ve probably flirted or have been flirted with before, but you may not have recognized it for what it was. Here’s how to tell between flirting and just being friendly, and how to make flirting count!

Question: What is flirting? I really don’t know what that is.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTUUcVq7uqM[/youtube]

What Is Flirting?

The definition of flirting is “playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.” Flirting moves, however, aren’t necessarily limited to arousing sexual interest though – flirting is definitely a simple way to let someone know you like them and have more than friendly feelings for them. Flirting usually includes lots of eye contact and smiling, and can even include some non-sexual touching. For example, if a girl laughs loudly at your jokes, looks at you often, smiles a lot and brushes up against you or touches your leg or arm when she’s talking to you, chances are she’s flirting with you. A guy that is flirting with a girl may lean in towards her when he’s talking or brush her hair out of her eyes. The best way to identify flirting is by paying attention to their body language.

When Should You Flirt?

Flirting is appropriate any time, especially on a date or if you’re around someone you like a lot and want to be more than friends with. You can start slow so you don’t come on too strong, and work your way up from eye contact and smiling to brushing her hair back to look at hear earrings or laying your hand over hers when talking to her. If you’re shy about flirting, go out and practice flirting with a few girls at a club so you can get the hang of it. Things you don’t want to do when flirting is turn away from her, cross your arms or keep a straight face. Don’t openly flirt with someone who is with someone else, because you can definitely earn some bad blood that way.

It’s Important To Have Fun

The most important thing to remember about flirting is that it’s all about having fun. Don’t take flirting too seriously and wonder if you’re doing it wrong or getting it right. Just relax and go with the flow! Pay attention to your date’s body language and feed off of it too – you can flirt on your own or follow their lead and mimic what they’re doing. Above all though, it’s important that you stay relaxed and open to having a great time. If something awkward happens, just laugh it off! If you have trouble flirting or are shy, go somewhere you are comfortable whether it’s a club or a more intimate, one on one setting such as a coffeeshop or bowling alley. Have a few drinks if you need to loosen up, but don’t get too inebriated. If you’re unsure of how your flirting is being received, feel free to back off a bit until you’re more comfortable. Remember to be yourself – flirting isn’t an act. Your date will appreciate someone real and genuine as opposed to someone putting on.

Feeling Shy with the Hotties? Ten Can’t Miss Flirting Moves

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Flirting is phenomenal! It is a playful, fun activity that helps you feel more attractive and boosts your flirtee’s self esteem. Flirting can be a complete encounter; it doesn’t mean you have to go any farther. As long as you are in a safe public place, a little flirting is a fun, uplifting activity. Within a relationship, flirting is very important: it gives your date or partner clear “go” signals that indicate you find him attractive.

Flirting Is Essential

Flirting is especially important to practice if you are shy or nervous with men or typically caught in a deadly dating pattern I call “Just Buddies.” In this all too common pattern you have guy friends at work or outside, watch sports with them, play video or other games with them, but create no romantic connections. Then you wonder why none of these men are into you.

Dylan, a brilliant, hard-working engineer, whose gorgeous bod was permanently camouflaged in pantsuits or sweats, talks about her Just Buddies pattern:
I work with a lot of guys and I love sports, so we wind up going out after work to sports bars, kicking back a few drinks and doing the guy thing together. I’m the one they tell all their girl problems to. It’s all great, except for Rob, who I think I’ve been in love with for the past year. He just got engaged! During the Love in 90 Days program, I realized that I’m afraid to be more of a woman with a guy. Truth is, I don’t really know how to flirt and have never asked anyone for help. Dylan got over her deadly dating pattern by dressing in more feminine clothes and by flirting. She is now having an incredible time dating terrific guys.

Are You Like Dylan?

Like Dylan, many of us simply feel like we don’t know how to flirt. We see our girlfriends doing it, starting spirited connections with men and leaving us in the dust. But the truth is that flirting is a skill that can be learned! If flirting doesn’t come naturally, try it first on men who are not threatening to you like Dylan did with her game night friends. But make sure you eventually build up to the hotties. If you are nervous, blushing or shy, let it be. This kind of energy is particularly endearing and attractive. And surprisingly enough, if you are very attractive, flirting is especially important! The good men are often quite intimidated by a beautiful woman, and you have to be very clear in signaling your interest.

10 Key Flirting Moves

From Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love:

1. Make eye contact and smile. If he makes lingering or repeated eye contact back, he is probably interested.
2. Ask for help as you adjust your shoe, lean on his arm and adjust it.
3. Look at him, look away, then look back.
4. While sitting, cross your legs and jiggle your foot in his direction.
5. Touch him lightly on the arm, shoulder or neck.
6. Touch your lips, neck or chest.
7. Brush your hand through your hair.
8. Play with your hair, clothing or an object.
9. Whisper in his ear.
10. Give him a mini-massage.

Pick two or three of these simple flirting acts and try them out. You will be amazed at how easy they are to do. Then try a few more. Over time you can become accomplished at flirting whenever you want to, no matter how attractive a hottie is! Learn more about busting through shyness and finding, attracting and dating terrific guys in Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.